Talking to you…

August 16, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Is it strange to be at this point in life where the desire to succeed somehow in life has quadrupled; maybe because you know that you no longer have the time to shilly-shally and fritter away your days like when you were in your teens and twenties, yet at the same time, you equally feel lethargic and seem to have lost the gusto to keep pushing if that makes sense?

I have lived in many hoods, but to be honest, adulthood is raz and can run you raggedy. Some days I feel on top of things and feel a certain level of being at peace with myself, but most of the time, especially recently, I feel deeply pressured, almost as if I am asphyxiating from the burden of financial responsibilities that has become a chokehold on me and mine, and a sense of helplessness does overwhelm me now and then.

I am in a hurry to change things, yet the more I rush, the slower my steps become. The pandemic took a heavy financial toll on us and things are yet to let up. It bothers me using this space to share my woes, still, I feel that I am among friends who have seen life, it’s good and ugly sides and who understand what true struggles mean. I always endeavour to stay chirpy and see the bright side of life despite all the dark clouds that tends to shroud things and make situations look bleak more times than I care to count.

Something that I know for sure is that loads of us are going through stuff that they are either proud, embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to share for fear of being trolled and judged by others, but one thing I have learned in this life is not to make someone else’s thought take such a center stage in my life that it will cause me to lose sleep. At present, my wellbeing and seeking reprieve is far too important to me than being scared and ashamed to share the fact that I am struggling more than I can express in words.

Out of sense of self-preservation, I wish not to demean myself but if after reading this and you can buy me a cup of coffee using the Paypal button or link at the top and bottom or my page and it will be most appreciated. Every penny goes a long way. God bless.

Silently Loud…

August 4, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Photo by Juris Freidenfelds on Pexels.com

The silence in her life

rang like a loud bell

she wanted no one to hear.

The raging loneliness

sank into her bones

solace became one with her

she no longer knew

how not to be alone

The need to end her pain

beckoned in a beguiling manner

to succumb; an option she pondered.

Family · Hope

Birthdays and Friday musings…

July 22, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

And Friday arrived even before I could turn the page of a book. The days are galloping by so fast nowadays, that sometimes I feel that if one doesn’t buckle down for the ride of speedy days they will practically find themselves flying and landing in 2023 all bushy-tailed and surprised. Each morning, I set a to-do list and by the end of the day I find myself falling short in completing certain things. However, I am also cutting myself some slack and unlearning the ingrained habit of beating myself up when I fall short of my own expectations. What I am trying to do now is to set realistic and practical goals or tasks and prioritize them so that they are achievable. Although sometimes I find myself running around chasing every other thing rather than settling down to doing those things that needs to be done.

Tomorrow is my first son’s birthday and when I look at the young man I am always taken aback at how much he has grown and has now become a full adult of one score, whilst a whole part of me – except for the creaky parts – feel as exuberant and as hopeful as I felt when I was his age. Truth be told, I think I have become quite jaded a bit from life’s experiences and a lot more reserved, though each day, I fight mentally, physically and spiritually not to let the bitter experiences and setbacks get the better of me. I have grown to realize that focusing my energy on things that are out of my control and things that have expired such as the past, is sheer and massive waste of time.

Now to my young man, I pray that life treats you kindly and well. I give God praise for the gift of a son like you and thank Him for His faithfulness and mercy over your life all these years. May you continue to flourish in God’s blessings. May His countenance continue to shine on you. You will find favour in the eyes of men. The earth shall yield its increase for you and so you shall not lack. It shall be in agreement with you to fulfil God’s purpose for your life. As you grow in age, may you also grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially. The Lord will cause you to dwell in good health and everything you lay your hands on shall prosper. His protection shall be over you and He will give you the grace to grow in wisdom. Amen.

I thank God for all the good moments we have spent together, as mother and son.

Humans · mental health · Nature · Philosophy of Life · Poetry/Poems · Wellness

across the bridge…

July 20, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

as we laid
your body down
and you crossed the bridge

to the other side

the airy wind
blew it’s gentle breeze
around us, it flowed

to the other side

a lone tear
escaped my eyes
racing to my mouth

I had promised
that I would
stop crying

but the calmness
of the air
reminds of your gentle ways

when will we
see you again, if ever,
my heart is pained.

For you my dear friend – departed – I wish not to say. May your soul find rest after all the pain. May you know peace and may your wings continue to flap gently in the wind. I see your smile. Though we know that none of us will get out of here alive, that death is part of life, yet, its sting is never lessened.

Everyday People · Family · Health · Life · Parenting

All in a brisk walk…

July 19, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

This morning I woke up with a foggy feeling in my head and it was as if I hadn’t slept at all. I felt lazy, and just wanted to continue lying on my bed, but I knew that doing so would simply set the wrong tone for my day and literally muttering ‘mind over matter, mind over matter’ I basically cajoled myself to crawl out of bed and take my antidote – which is to go out for a brisk walk, to get some fresh air and hopefully feel more alive in the process.

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

My brisk walk can involve various things depending on my mood, either listening and humming to music that I enjoy with an occasional shake and a jig to accentuate the notes that hit home, listening to a podcast or any talk that piques my interest, venting in my head and going over an argument that I had with hubby and realizing that maybe I should have used a better punchline than I had; mentally deciding to save a punchline and use it to drive home my point, going over my to-do list in my head, making a shopping list, thinking of random stuff and just watching people go about their business…

I had almost come to end of my walk when an idea popped into my head out of the blues and I was so excited at the thought that I made a mental note not to forget to include it in my soon to be executed plans. Right as I turned into the bend leading to our apartment block, I ran into a young dad and a toddler – who by my assessment is barely more that 24 months – attempting to play football, and I slowed my pace to absorb the scene.

The man kept a few paces apart and kicked the ball towards his son. It’s either because the baby was wholly new to the game or wasn’t sure what to do; he missed it not once but four times. After each miss, his dad patiently walked towards him, picked the ball and kicked it again. I was silently rooting in my head for the little one and just as soon as I thought that he would miss it yet again, his little foot finally connected with the ball and he kicked it back with gusto. The ring of his delight and joy from his accomplishment had me applauding both of them and a huge smile made its way to my face.

A brisk walk of 40 minutes not only brought me such unexpected fullness, it drew home several pointers and set a positive tone for my day. During my grudgingly taken walk, I got inspired, I saw love and patience, I saw resilience and joy, I became energized, I gained more clarity and buzz that I wouldn’t have found in my cup of coffee. These little things we often overlook, they are the things that matter.

How is your week going so far?

Love · Musings · Philosophy of Life

To love or not to love?

July 14, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most – Socrates

Sometimes, it seems far easier for our peace of mind to walk away from those in our lives who are so hard to love. Such situation is certainly a paradox in life. It can be tough and even most times exasperating loving someone who is indifferent to your attempts. I believe that the problem of such people stems from unresolved issues and they may have developed this mental defensive mechanism as a way of coping and in response to their secret concerns. Do we then stop loving them and walk away?

Love is a choice; sometimes a deliberate decision. You can’t force it down someone’s throat or make them reciprocate what they don’t feel. I should think that it is far more pragmatic to love such a person and to pray for them from a distance because loving them up close can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.

Walking away from them should not be about abandoning them ‘cos love is what feeds and fills our soul. Love does not rush. It is patient! I guess we love them because we hope for and see potential for change.

Blogging · life skills · Self Help · Writing

Awakening My Creative Consciousness…

July 13, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha4 Comments

Finally. I believe that I have succeeded in crawling out of the doldrums. There are days that run into weeks and then months when creativity flows freely through your fingers and mind and feels like the easiest thing ever, then there are those days… that seep into weeks… and then months… when you are lost and in a total stump.

When this happens, we deeply feel that something is amiss. Things generally seem harder and somehow the rudder of our direction stagnates or at worse will be over the place. How do we re-center ourselves? How do we reignite our passion to continue doing those things that we most enjoy? How do we declutter, distill the disturbance, and climb out of the miry bog?

Most certainly, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to such a dilemma. However, we can prime the pump and flow of inspiration in our lives by taking some simple steps and these steps are what I am trying to retrace. Not so much to find out where I fell off the track but to attempt to get back on track and fall in love again with those things that bring me joy.

I can’t even explain to you how the past few days of getting back to blogging, making my short videos on Tiktok, YouTube and Instagram makes me feel. I feel better. I feel less pained and guilty. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and I intend to keep it that way; so help me God.

Here are a few practical steps to apply should you ever find yourself in such a rut.

Be grateful for where you are at the moment and thankful for the potentials that the future holds.
Seek and find joy in the little things happening around you. Find laughter. It matters a lot.
Declutter your mind. Ask yourself what you are really feeling and try to understand why.
Define and refine what creativity and inspiration means to you.
Remind yourself of those things that you really love.
Revamp your thought process and approach where possible.
Don’t make big plans, take baby steps one day at a time.
Take time to reflect and let your imagination flow. It may be jumbled and rusty but just go with the flow.
Be humble and keep learning.
Make your creative moments fun.

What self-help tips and suggestions do you use and recommend to others to try?

Finance · Guide To Better Living · Health

Health and You.

July 12, 2022July 13, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha13 Comments

My recent struggle with plantar fasciitis and aching body parts has made me stop and reflect seriously on the fact that the more advanced we supposedly become, the farther things change. From back in the days when my mother had the voluminous ‘where there is no doctor’ as a go to reference for most home remedies that she concocted and used to keep us germ free and as healthy as ever, and the time when your family doctor knew every nitty gritty detail about you and your family – from your scraped knees to your menstrual cycle, what your family liked for Sunday lunch, your dad’s finances and what have you – between then and now, there’s a vast difference in doctor and patients relationships.

It does appear that those days when your community doc would look at your hands, listen to your heartbeat galloping along, asks you to stick your tongue out and say ‘ah‘, checks your eyes and inquires about your bowels whilst palpating your tummy and so on have become history.

As I get along in age, the realization that visiting hospitals these days is no longer like my mother whisking me over to Dr. Ndukwe’s familiar consultation room, armed with her magical purse that contained all our medical cards and other mysterious objects, makes me not only sad about the golden times past but has also left me wondering how one can truly afford medical care in these times. It’s not as if any reasonable insurance is the most affordable thing in these parts.

It becomes steadily clear that with fewer overworked doctors and far more patients to see, your visit to see the doc might very well be a rushed affair that leaves you more perplexed than when you arrived. You are most likely not going to get a lollipop and a pat on the back and you will also be out of pocket if the visits become too frequent as you will have to pay for consultation fee and for other costs that pop out of the woodwork.

Truly, we need to take control of our bodies and have our own ‘where there is no doctor,’ sitting on our shelves. What’s your go to home remedy for aches and pains? Please feel free to share. You might be saving someone a lot of pain.

Family · Musings · Poetry/Poems

The String…

July 11, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

The tune of the music spoke to her soul.

a sojourner…

a wayfarer…

a traveller…

Following the rolls, cadence and sway of the beat…

searching through the fog in her mind…

ruminating for hope, for joy, for comfort, for deliverance…

The music conjured up emotions lost, but never forgotten…

a balm…

a yearning…

a homecoming…

The chords emitted from the strings of the violin,

its melody soothingly tender yet desperate…

dragging over the strings of her battered and bruised soul

making notes that holds in its promise,

a fulfillment…

a redemption…

peace.

Have you ever felt such attachment to any music that it draws out emotions that finds you struggling for the right words to describe how exactly it makes you feel? I know that sometimes such emotions are raw that we feel as if sharing them with someone else exposes our nakedness, vulnerability and inner privacy.

I grew up in a home with a dad who woke us up most mornings with the melodious flow of sounds of music from the Grundig turntable that had its pride of place in our living room and I grew up learning to appreciate all forms of musical sounds. Many a times, especially nowadays, a track transports me decades back to specific moments in time and I allow the memories trapped in my minds’ eye to dance to the tune.