Parenting · Personal story · Writing

Not simply a tune…

I know that bloganuary is over, but I have every intention to finish the outstanding writing prompts that I missed out on. I fell into a mental funk which came unannounced and that caused some derailing on my part. However, I will not allow a depressive state to dictate my life. The need to rise above adversity keeps me going.

So many songs and the poems that I wrote speak to me, but a song that speaks to me so deeply is ‘we thank thee by Jim Reeves. It is not just a song but a wake up call and a prayer that my dad played on our Grundig every morning in our house throughout my growing up years. For me, this songs brings back countless strong emotions and takes me back home to when my dad was still alive, the smell of my mothers cooking, the morning routines and bustle getting ready to go to school, to go to church etc.

It embodies the wholesomeness of my family, of laughter and joy, of tears, of meals shared and plans for the future. It takes me back to my dad before Cancer, of the gentle rays of the early morning sun peeping in through the living room windows, of neighbours voices floating in through the windows, of Sunday Jollof rice and meat.

In this song, there’s so much stored for me. It became etched into the blueprint of my life from a tender age and I will love it till the day that I die.

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Everyday People · Family · Health · Life · Parenting

All in a brisk walk…

This morning I woke up with a foggy feeling in my head and it was as if I hadn’t slept at all. I felt lazy, and just wanted to continue lying on my bed, but I knew that doing so would simply set the wrong tone for my day and literally muttering ‘mind over matter, mind over matter’ I basically cajoled myself to crawl out of bed and take my antidote – which is to go out for a brisk walk, to get some fresh air and hopefully feel more alive in the process.

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

My brisk walk can involve various things depending on my mood, either listening and humming to music that I enjoy with an occasional shake and a jig to accentuate the notes that hit home, listening to a podcast or any talk that piques my interest, venting in my head and going over an argument that I had with hubby and realizing that maybe I should have used a better punchline than I had; mentally deciding to save a punchline and use it to drive home my point, going over my to-do list in my head, making a shopping list, thinking of random stuff and just watching people go about their business…

I had almost come to end of my walk when an idea popped into my head out of the blues and I was so excited at the thought that I made a mental note not to forget to include it in my soon to be executed plans. Right as I turned into the bend leading to our apartment block, I ran into a young dad and a toddler – who by my assessment is barely more that 24 months – attempting to play football, and I slowed my pace to absorb the scene.

The man kept a few paces apart and kicked the ball towards his son. It’s either because the baby was wholly new to the game or wasn’t sure what to do; he missed it not once but four times. After each miss, his dad patiently walked towards him, picked the ball and kicked it again. I was silently rooting in my head for the little one and just as soon as I thought that he would miss it yet again, his little foot finally connected with the ball and he kicked it back with gusto. The ring of his delight and joy from his accomplishment had me applauding both of them and a huge smile made its way to my face.

A brisk walk of 40 minutes not only brought me such unexpected fullness, it drew home several pointers and set a positive tone for my day. During my grudgingly taken walk, I got inspired, I saw love and patience, I saw resilience and joy, I became energized, I gained more clarity and buzz that I wouldn’t have found in my cup of coffee. These little things we often overlook, they are the things that matter.

How is your week going so far?

Parenting

The toughest job of my life…

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Being a parent is about the hardest job ever! I am learning invaluable lessons every day about being a mother. From one stage of your children’s lives to the next, the dynamics keep changing and your job as a mother simply never ever stops.

Our job as mothers is not about fixing our children’s lives, but primarily to teach them how to live as best as they can, how to cope, how to rise again and again, ‘cos when they become adults, life’s problems don’t go away – they simply morph into adult problems and all we have taught them as parents will serve them well.

No matter how earnestly we might wish it differently, we can’t fix everything. Sometimes, we have to let our children figure things out for themselves. Sometimes, we have to stay by the sidelines, on our knees bowed in prayer, waiting for them to come to the other side.

 

 

Lifestyle · Parenting

Finding Fabulous Fulfillment For Yourself After Having A Little One

You aren’t afraid to admit that your entire life revolves around your new baby. You have lost all concepts of who you were before you had the little one and you don’t want it to affect your self-esteem in the long run. Being a new mom is full of challenges, so you need to keep in touch with the person you have always been, otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy. Whether you’re trying to impress your spouse by furthering your career or you just want to give yourself a little boost of confidence, there are so many ways to feel fulfilled without compromising the important things in life. Consider all of the following ideas and you will soon be able to find contentment amongst the hectic life of having a newborn.

Pursue Your Passions

You should never give up on pursuing your passions, even when you have had a child. Your career and studies might have to go on hold for a short period of time whilst you adjust to life with a little one, but there is nothing stopping you from achieving your goals eventually. You might want to start with taking an online course which will help you enhance your career one day. Whether it’s an MBA with engineering focus or a business management degree that will help you to start your own company one day, you will be able to find the ideal solution for you, without compromising on the important time with your new baby.

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Reconnect with Friends

When you have a child it is very easy to lose touch with people who were once very important to you. Reconnecting with your friends and maintaining those strong relationships is very important for your own sanity. You will regret ignoring your best friend for the first few years of your child’s life because one day you might really need to lean on them for support. Schedule regular catch ups with your close companions and you will never feel out of the loop or lonely.

Take Care of Yourself

Find little pockets of time throughout the day to give yourself that little bit of tender loving care. Whether it’s a hot bubble bath whilst the baby is sleeping or you meditate for half an hour first thing in the morning, there are so many ways to practise self-care. These small moments are precious and will help you to keep your sanity during a hectic day. A pamper session once a month will also help you to feel fabulous.

Find the Perfect Balance

Whatever your personal goals are, you should always strive for the perfect balance. You can do it all, whether you’re chasing a career whilst taking care of a baby or furthering your studies in between motherhood. Find an equilibrium that helps you to conquer all the elements that you love and you will always be content in your life.

Although your little one means the world to you, you must never forget about yourself and what you want to achieve in life. As long as you strike a balance between the two you will always be happy and comfortable with all of your decisions in life.

Parenting

3 Fall-Suitable Days Out With The Kids

As fall begins to take its grip, planning days out with your kids can become more complicated due to the need to avoid the ever-worsening weather. In an effort to assist you in this task, below, we’ve put together three ideas that can allow you to indulge in family fun that’s fall-friendly.

#1 – Science museums

Science museums may sound a little dull, but in truth modern museums are anything but – they focus on interactive exhibitions that your kids are sure to love. The major benefit of this choice is that these exhibitions are designed to educate by stealth, so your kids will have a great day out and learn something new all in one.

#2 – Woodland drives

Driving through woodland is a wonderful fall outing for two specific reasons: you and your kids are able to delight in the changing colour of the leaves, and if the weather turns in your favour, you can park up and explore nature on foot.

#3 – Library collections

Most of us associate libraries with books, but many have expanded their remit and now offer museum-style exhibitions; visiting these can be the perfect way to while away a rainy day with the kids. It’s worth exploring the options available at libraries near you, or perhaps a day trip to one of the more obscure library collections detailed would be the perfect choice for kids with niche interests.

An infographic about libraries' obscure collections by the University of Southern California

Infographic design by University of Southern California

 

Family · Parenting

What to do Before Your Baby Arrives

When you’re expecting a baby anytime soon, it’s important to be ready for what’s coming next. Sure, resting is definitely important, but there are many other things that need to be done with the help of your partner and your family and friends. Some of this stuff is relatively basic and obvious, but it’s still so easy to forget the important things when you’ve got so much else to focus your attention on.

To help you make sure you don’t fall into the trap of ignoring some of the things that matter most, we’ve put together a list of things that you will need to do before your baby finally gets here. It’s in your best interests to read the details and take note. If you miss out on any of this stuff, it might make life harder for your family and the new arrival later on.

So read on now and be sure to implement any of the things that get you thinking and that you hadn’t considered up to now.

Remain Focused on Your Health and Wellbeing

When you’re healthy, your baby will be too. You’ll only cause problems for yourself and the baby you’re carrying if you’re always stressed and pressured. It should be one of your top priorities to stay calm and relaxed as much as possible as you progress through your pregnancy. You should also try to look after yourself generally by doing some walking, getting fresh air and eating a balanced and healthy diet. It’s the little things like this that tend to make the biggest difference, so this is something to work on.

Choose Your Baby’s Future Paediatrician

You want your child to always have your best, so it’s worth thinking about which paediatrician is going to be best for them before they’re even born. You want to have this decided and set in stone in time for the arrival. It gives parents peace of mind when they know they have a reliable and talented paediatrician to take their child to when there’s a problem of whatever sort. So look at all the options, talk to different doctors and do your best to make sure you’re making the right decision.

Hold a Baby Shower

Baby showers can be a lot of fun and they allow you to celebrate the imminent arrival of your baby with the people that matter most to you in life. So have a look at these 10 Unique Baby Shower Ideas and then start to plan yours. With the help of your friends and family, it’ll be a warm and welcoming occasion where everyone can come together to celebrate something truly special with you. It’s not something you should skip over because it could be a highlight of your pregnancy.

Pack Your Bag for the Due Date

When you know when your due date is, you can start planning that day. Of course, the due date probably won’t be completely accurate, but it gives you a rough idea, and you can then start getting things ready. For example, you can do the practical things like packing your bag so that you’re ready to leave and head to the hospital as soon as you enter labour. Even if the due date seems a pretty long way off right now, it’ll get here in no time at all so you need to be ready.

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Get a Baby Book

It’s always worth having a baby book that you can fill and flick through in the future, and it’s best to get prepared for this right now. The moment your baby is born, you’re going to be taking pictures and saving mementoes that can go straight into the baby book, so why wait around? Find the ideal baby book today. That way, you can have fun filling it as soon as your baby arrives. You’ll want it to be the kind of document that really means something to you and your family.

Finalize Your Birth Plan

Every mother has their own unique birth plan, so if you haven’t yet finalized yours, now is about time that you did this. You need to know how you want all this to pan out because if you don’t know for sure by the time the big day comes around, the decisions will end up being made by someone else, and that’s clearly not what you want. Most mothers want to be the ones in charge of the process.

Make Car Arrangements

When your son or daughter has been born, you need to have a way of having them use your car. So you’ll need to research baby seats for the car and find one which is best for your car, as well as which is safest. When you’ve found the one that you think is best, you’ll need to purchase it and have it put in place in your car. It’s a pretty simple thing but it’ll matter every time you go anywhere in the car with your baby.

Prepare the Baby’s Room

The baby’s room is certainly going to be important because this is where he or she will be sleeping each night. It should be a child-friendly, serene and generally relaxing environment. If you haven’t yet got the baby’s room finalised, it’s time for you to do that. It should be one of your highest priorities because the stress of finishing the room off when the baby has already moved in there will be too much for you and the baby alike.

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Have Your Carpets and Floors Cleaned

Your baby is probably going to be crawling around a lot, so you’re going to need to make sure your carpets and floors are as clean as they can be. This is probably not something you ever paid as much attention to before you had a baby because previously, the floor was just something you walked but that’s not the case anymore. Just have them professionally cleaned and you won’t have worry about getting down there and doing it yourself.

Wash the Baby’s Clothes

You’ll probably already have lots of new clothes for the baby to wear, but you’ll also need to make sure that these baby clothes are all washed before they’re worn. This is important because if the clothes are not washed in advance, they can irritate the baby’s skin and that’s obviously not what you want to happen. Luckily, it can all be prevented by simply making sure that the clothes are washed before the baby arrives.

Prepare Some Meals for the Immediate Aftermath of the Birth

When you’re a new parent, your baby takes up pretty much all of your free time. There’s no room to do anything much at all. That’s why it’s such a good idea to think ahead and plan some meals for when you’re busy with the baby after having given birth. You can cook some stuff and put it in the freezer because this will allow you access to easy meals when you quite simply don’t have the time nor the energy to cook. By doing this now, you’ll save yourself time later.

As you can see, there’s so much that needs to be done before your baby finally arrives. It really does pay off to have all of these things sorted out and in place before you have a new baby taking up pretty much all of your time and attention. If you don’t act now, you’ll probably regret it later, so get to it!

Parenting

Looking After Little Ones: 5 Potential Sources Of Stress For Your Children

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As parents, we like to think that our children have nothing to worry about. Sure, they get into the odd argument with their friends now and then, but those always resolve quickly, leaving your little one the happy-go-lucky and carefree kid you know and love. Unfortunately, something we all hate to admit is that our children deal with stress just like we do. Of course, their’s comes from different sources, but it’s hurtful and painful all the same. If you want to look after your little ones, then here are five potential sources of stress you need to watch out for.

Moving House And School

Kids thrive best when they have a regular and consistent routine, which is why they often don’t cope well when things start to change. One of the biggest changes a little one can face is moving house, especially when it means they also need to change schools. To make this process easier for your children, you should let them know what’s happening as soon as possible. You should also emphasize the positives of moving and help them say goodbye.

Fighting Among The Parents

No one likes the thought of their parents fighting, but, for children, this prospect can be absolutely terrifying. This is why you need to do what you can to keep your kids out of arguments and resolve them alone. If the tension continues after a fight, you should consider couples counseling retreats to deal with your issues. Never complain to your child about your partner, or try to make them pick sides, as they’ll be left feeling guilty either way, and this guilt can be incredibly harmful.

Losing A Loved One

Whether it be the death of a family member, close friend, or beloved pet, losing someone you love is confusing and heartbreaking to children. They can be left feeling abandoned and lonely, and might even convince themselves that they’re somehow to blame, causing a crushing sense of guilt. Explaining death to a child can be difficult for parents, especially when the loss affects them too, but it’s important that you use your words carefully, so as to not create further upset.

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Following A Tight Schedule

More often than not, your child’s schedule will be even more packed than yours, containing school homework, music lessons, sports games, and more. Of course, you don’t want your child to be bored throughout the day, but running from activity to activity can leave your kids feeling overwhelmed and incredibly anxious. To give them room to breathe, you should sit down with your children and cut a few things out of their day that they don’t want or need to do.

Peer Pressure And Bullying

From a very young age, your children are going to face peer pressure and bullying. The things your children have to face may not be as serious or scary and the cases you see in the news, but they can cause just as much upset. To help protect your kids, you should let them know that you’re always there to listen if they ever have anything they want to get off their chest. You can’t force them to talk, but, hopefully, with this prompt, they’ll feel comfortable when they need to.

Whether we like it or not, our children have to deal with stress just like we do. To avoid this stress becoming harmful, make sure you look out for the potential sources listed above.

Family · Parenting

Real Talk: What’s It Like Mothering A Big Family?

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Every little girl’s dream to meet the person of their dreams, plan a spectacular wedding and start a family. Okay, maybe this theory is outdated now but it’s true that most women want a husband and kids. When dreams turn into reality, it can be incredibly scary. One day you’re a happily single woman with no cares in the world, and the next you’re a mom to five kids. How did that happen?!

Moms with large families hear the same questions all of the time. “God, your house must be crazy,” or “the laundry alone must be a fortune” are two classics. To put it into perspective for those that don’t know, here are the basics.

The Routine Never Stops

Have you heard of the motto “sleep, eat, rinse and repeat?” In many ways, it sums up being the head of a large family. Let’s get one thing straight – one day is never the same. However, there are core features which never go away and they keep you mega busy. Preparing meals take up a large chunk of the day, as does the school run and getting the kids to practice on time. Thankfully, the routine is merciful because you only realize you’re exhausted by the time your head hits the pillow.

Nor Does The Laughter

The incredible thing about the house being full is the noise. Sometimes, it’s a racket which never ends and it’s annoying as hell. But, usually, it’s a mixture of the things which put a smile on a mom’s face. The sound of laughter has to be a sound sent from God to keep us happy and motivated. Listening to the kids enjoying life is wonderful, and the parents get to join in too. It’s a cliché, but these moments are worth all of the bad ones and more.

Money Is Tight

With lots of hungry mouths to feed, there is a lot of pressure on the bank balance to provide. Of course, food isn’t the only expense. As the family grows, you will need everything from a new home to a bigger car. And, lenders such as Auto. Loan won’t give you a freebie. Yes, their rates are affordable but it is still another expense. As a result, money is often tight but not to the point where the mortgage won’t get paid. It’s more of a you-have-to pick-and-choose-your-moments type of thing. Oh, and saving is essential if you want a vacation or a family trip.

Holidays Are Interesting

Speaking of vacations, it would be remiss not to mention a family holiday. Like all trips with the loved ones, it’s a chaotic affair full of arguments and constant counting. Moms need eyes in the backs of their butts to make sure everyone is present and safe. Again, the scale of the vacation makes it bigger and better. It’s like your senses are dialed to ten and every little detail is funnier or more joyous.

Are you thinking about starting a family? Do you want a big one or are you going to keep it small?

This is a collaborative post

Inspiration - Motivation · Parenting · Personal · Philosophy of Life

We Planted The Seeds of Our Dreams…

Yes, we literally planted our dreams. Grabbing handfuls of the remaining Spring’s moments, I took the children to the park armed with our post-its and coloured pens. Each of us wrote out 5 dreams/aspiration of ours, folded the papers nicely, dug little holes around the tree and planted them amongst the grass. We had a few curious squirrels as observers and I guess they aren’t surprised ‘cos they’ve seen enough queer humans.

I told the children that though the paper might decay and become one with earth, the dreams have been sown into their hearts and that each day they must till the soil of their dreams, water and nurture them till they yield bountiful returns ‘cos every seedling has its season.

I also told them that sometimes our dreams and aspirations change and our harvest becomes different but that it’s okay ‘cos that’s the way life works at times. However, for each aspiration, they must plant it into the soil of their reality and not hold on to the seeds ‘cos the seeds alone will not yield abundance. ‘All great deeds begin as seeds.’ Months and years may pass before these seeds grow into full form and we see the glimpse of our harvest, but the birthing moment is as important as the harvest.

The land is green and the Earth is ripe for planting. Amidst the pressures of our modern lives, we tend to think that the conditions have to be right in order for us to start but time and time again my experience has shown that most times the simple act of starting is what makes the conditions right.

Love and Light Always,

Jacqueline

Parenting · The Daily Post

When The Sun Is Sinking Low…

Daddy always said ‘rise with the Sun so that you set the tone of your day,’ and throughout my growing up years, like clockwork, we rose way before the Sun.

Sunrise, Sunset, Days of our Lives, Our loved ones, Reflection, Life, Parenting, Love

Today the most important things I inherited from my dad are the ethics, the values, the wise words, the memories and the parenting influence that he had on my life.

Ever so often, a saying of his will echo in my mind and I feel suffused with the warmth of his presence albeit through his words.

As a child, I truly had no deep understanding of losing loved ones’ – not sure that I still do – and like the sunrise and sunsets of my young days, I felt that those that mattered most would always be there.

Well, I am deadly wrong. I think that life is so unfair to take away those we love and yearn for, on the other hand, I am deeply thankful that I had the opportunity to know such love.

Knowing what I know now, the glorious rise of each Sun, reminds me that I’m alive, that I must embrace the day and that there’s no time to waste in looking back at yesterday. By the time the sun sinks low, I’m reminded to leave every form of acrimony and as much as is humanly possible to end my day with a cleansed mind.

Below is a little tune from me. Excuse the croaky voice 😉

Oh I often sit and ponder
when the sun is sinking low

where shall yonder future find me
only God in heaven knows

shall I be amongst the living
shall I mingle with the free

wheresoever my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee

Oh the future lies before me
and I know not where I’ll be

wheresover my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee

©

Jacqueline

The Daily Post: Rise and Set