The power of the present…

collection of retro wall clocks in antique store

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There’s a lot of power in living in the now. but a whole lot of times we are so focused on the past; reliving events that have come and gone, living in the regret land of ‘I wish’ I should have, I could have, I would have… which is a sheer waste of our limited time and energy. We can never regain the past as it is more or less a memory trace and the more we sit in the past, the more we lose the power of being fully present and enjoying the ‘now’ that we have.

Again, a lot of times we spend enormous time and energy planning and projecting for a future and a tomorrow that we don’t have in hand whilst at the same time losing steam and failing to ensure that we are living our best lives moment by moment.

When we know better we do better. Wishing that I had understood this concept earlier on in my life is moot and praying for a period in time that can never be regained.

The truth is that time is an illusion and all we truly have is this present moment that we been blessed with. If we channel our energy into staying present by making the best of our moments, taking charge of our day by focusing on the things that concern us such as our health (spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial…) our finances, our relationships, our careers/jobs/business then we put in ourselves in better standing and will no longer keep looking back in regret or looking forward to an anticipated better future because we are dissatisfied with the present.

I hope your day is going well and as planned. Bless you.

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I Am Still Holding On…

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Sometimes it seems letting go…

is easier than holding on.

Sometimes it seems holding on…

is better than letting go.

Sometimes the see-saw of life…

leaves you pondering;

which end to let go

and which end to hold on to…

©Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Lovely and Wonderful…

person writing on pink sticky notes

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What word do you find yourself using frequently? I think I use these two words ‘lovely and wonderful‘ ever so often, especially when complimenting others or their work. Most times, I endeavour to read what someone wrote, to connect with the post before making a constructive comment that relates to it.

I must say that I hesitate in using unnecessary superlatives which sometimes almost comes across as superfluous and fake. I do indulge when I come across something that genuinely deserves the superlatives. Sometimes, when my thoughts are all over the place, I fail to truly connect with a piece writing and as such, I hesitate to make a comment; and a like suffices at such times.

However, it is interesting to say that I have observed some readers making asinine comments that has nothing to do with the post and I can’t help but wonder at the following:

  • Is it that they are unable to read and comprehend?
  • Is it that they simply choose to be obtuse?
  • Is it that they are simply in such a rush but want the writer to feel their presence through their like and odd comments?
  • Do they think that they writer is so simpleminded that any silly comment would be pleasing to them?

As we always seem pressed for time and people’s attention span shrinks to the size of an ant, with social media interaction becoming more fast-paced, it does appear like the art of reading is equally suffering a blow and genuine readers dwindle daily.

I could think many things pertaining the readers thought pattern and may never arrive at the right answer, but I most certainly do hope that I haven’t fallen into that category of asinine comment makers and that I never lose the joy derived from reading and truly appreciating the art of the writer.

Tuesday Thoughts…

There are many gateways that lead us to our individual pleasures but there’s only one true pathway to happiness and the track runs through you.

The key that unlocks our happiness lies within us and can’t be found elsewhere.

When we fail to settle down and dig deeper to unlock the essence of who we are, we tend to fill our days with activities, going through the daily motions of surviving and are left feeling listless and dissatisfied with life.

Now, that’s the time to start searching for the missing link and hopefully, the answer will click. You can improve the experience by surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, value yourself and your relationships, keep the beautiful memories and positive experiences closer in mind, achieve little goals and appreciate them.

I found this oldie sitting in my draft. Still rings true.

My tomorrow…

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my tomorrow came
when today arrived…
for yesterday I waited
on a day that I hadn’t seen…
hoping that if and when
it does come around…
there will be the light of change.

my tomorrow is here
yet my thoughts ain’t truly there…
for how can it be
when in fragmented pieces…
I watch…

the broken circles

of many yesterdays

These are not easy days…

My family is going through a very difficult financial time right now that each day is burgeoned with struggle. Each waking moment comes inundated with its own portion of challenges that goes beyond just getting through the day.

There are times when it’s truly hard to say that all is well when the struggle is tedious.

I go through bouts of depression and mental stress these days that I lose sleep and some days are much harder than others. Sometimes, I literally feel as if the quagmire of life is bent on swallowing me and I struggle to drag myself out of the funk.

Now as I grow older, I understand better and empathize with those who become overwhelmed with life and seek easy ways out of their pain. Sometimes, we are in so much unseenSerenity pain that the person right next to us does not even grasp the magnitude of our internal struggles.

Most times, these pains are not only in the mind, they affect other aspects of our body and who we are and a lot of times they are triggered by events out of our control. I am trying not to focus too much on the problems but to redirect my energy on possible solutions as focusing on the problems only amplifies them. I am also repeating the ‘serenity prayer’ to help me keep calm and absorbing the words

If you find it in your heart and with any change to spare, you can support me in your own little way. Shalom ♥

Talking to you…

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Is it strange to be at this point in life where the desire to succeed somehow in life has quadrupled; maybe because you know that you no longer have the time to shilly-shally and fritter away your days like when you were in your teens and twenties, yet at the same time, you equally feel lethargic and seem to have lost the gusto to keep pushing if that makes sense?

I have lived in many hoods, but to be honest, adulthood is raz and can run you raggedy. Some days I feel on top of things and feel a certain level of being at peace with myself, but most of the time, especially recently, I feel deeply pressured, almost as if I am asphyxiating from the burden of financial responsibilities that has become a chokehold on me and mine, and a sense of helplessness does overwhelm me now and then.

I am in a hurry to change things, yet the more I rush, the slower my steps become. The pandemic took a heavy financial toll on us and things are yet to let up. It bothers me using this space to share my woes, still, I feel that I am among friends who have seen life, it’s good and ugly sides and who understand what true struggles mean. I always endeavour to stay chirpy and see the bright side of life despite all the dark clouds that tends to shroud things and make situations look bleak more times than I care to count.

Something that I know for sure is that loads of us are going through stuff that they are either proud, embarrassed, ashamed or too afraid to share for fear of being trolled and judged by others, but one thing I have learned in this life is not to make someone else’s thought take such a center stage in my life that it will cause me to lose sleep. At present, my wellbeing and seeking reprieve is far too important to me than being scared and ashamed to share the fact that I am struggling more than I can express in words.

Out of sense of self-preservation, I wish not to demean myself but if after reading this and you can buy me a cup of coffee using the Paypal button or link at the top and bottom or my page and it will be most appreciated. Every penny goes a long way. God bless.

Silently Loud…

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The silence in her life

rang like a loud bell

she wanted no one to hear.

The raging loneliness

sank into her bones

solace became one with her

she no longer knew 

how not to be alone

 

The need to end her pain

beckoned in a beguiling manner

to succumb; an option she pondered.

 

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha 2022

Birthdays and Friday musings…

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And Friday arrived even before I could turn the page of a book. The days are galloping by so fast nowadays, that sometimes I feel that if one doesn’t buckle down for the ride of speedy days they will practically find themselves flying and landing in 2023 all bushy-tailed and surprised. Each morning, I set a to-do list and by the end of the day I find myself falling short in completing certain things. However, I am also cutting myself some slack and unlearning the ingrained habit of beating myself up when I fall short of my own expectations. What I am trying to do now is to set realistic and practical goals or tasks and prioritize them so that they are achievable. Although sometimes I find myself running around chasing every other thing rather than settling down to doing those things that needs to be done.

Tomorrow is my first son’s birthday and when I look at the young man I am always taken aback at how much he has grown and has now become a full adult of one score, whilst a whole part of me – except for the creaky parts – feel as exuberant and as hopeful as I felt when I was his age. Truth be told, I think I have become quite jaded a bit from life’s experiences and a lot more reserved, though each day, I fight mentally, physically and spiritually not to let the bitter experiences and setbacks get the better of me. I have grown to realize that focusing my energy on things that are out of my control and things that have expired such as the past, is sheer and massive waste of time.

Now to my young man, I pray that life treats you kindly and well. I give God praise for the gift of a son like you and thank Him for His faithfulness and mercy over your life all these years. May you continue to flourish in God’s blessings. May His countenance continue to shine on you. You will find favour in the eyes of men. The earth shall yield its increase for you and so you shall not lack. It shall be in agreement with you to fulfil God’s purpose for your life. As you grow in age, may you also grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially. The Lord will cause you to dwell in good health and everything you lay your hands on shall prosper. His protection shall be over you and He will give you the grace to grow in wisdom. Amen.

I thank God for all the good moments we have spent together, as mother and son. 

across the bridge…

as we laid
your body down
and you crossed the bridge

to the other side

the airy wind
blew it’s gentle breeze
around us, it flowed

to the other side

a lone tear
escaped my eyes
racing to my mouth

I had promised
that I would
stop crying

but the calmness
of the air
reminds of your gentle ways

when will we
see you again, if ever,
my heart is pained.

For you my dear friend – departed – I wish not to say. May your soul find rest after all the pain. May you know peace and may your wings continue to flap gently in the wind. I see your smile. Though we know that none of us will get out of here alive, that death is part of life, yet, its sting is never lessened.

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