It’s a new year after all…

January 6, 2024 jacquelineobyikocha5 Comments

As always, the hand of time turns effortlessly and before you finish clinking your champagne glass, a day goes by, the 2, 3, and they all roll along to weeks, months and then its year end again, when we rush to meet deadlines, get to sing Christmas carols, feel warm and fuzzy and hey presto! Happy new year greetings are being exchanged once more and we are caught in the New Year resolution fever.

Armed with good intentions, gratitude for the blessings of the past year and surviving the vagaries that comes with living, we eagerly usher in the New Year completely determined to do our best and to get the best out of the year.

A lot of us say things like: ‘this is my year,’ ‘this year will be magical,’ ‘I will have so many breakthroughs this year,’ etc. and the list goes on.

All well and good. Seeking to be better than we were and doing better than we did is always commendable, but the question remains, how dogged, dedicated and passionate are we to truly arrive at these demanding goals that we set for ourselves at the beginning of each year? Or are we just going forward making a wishful list without the backbone to see them through thereby leading ourselves down the path of breaking of resolutions before they have even taken off and multiple disappointments over time? There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but goals without the right systems put in place will place will most certainly fall apart.

As always, I say, live your best life in the moment, try to stay accountable so that you can be the best version of you each day every day in all ramifications and as the moments roll by, it is far easier accomplishing those aspirations. Of course, life happens and sometimes things outside our control happens. Nonetheless, it is not always about what happened to us that’s the issue, it’s about how we react to what happened. It’s about how we rise from the dust of a situation, dust ourselves off and keep pushing and most times, it is easier to pick up from where you left off when your actions are almost second nature.

Think on these thoughts succinctly whilst attempting to revamp your entire life.
What are the deep lessons that you learnt the last 365 days of 2023 and how do you intend to leverage on them?

Happy New Year to you and your beloved ones’. May 2024 be kind to all of us.

Inspiration - Motivation · Philosophy of Life · Quotes For You

Big Dreams, little mind…

June 14, 2023 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

You

can’t

put

the

big dreams

your

life

into

little mind.

@beyondexisting.j
Don’t be one-dimensional. #fyp #perspective #change #tiktok #filterfun #quotes
♬ original sound – Beyond Existing

Musings · Philosophy of Life · Poetry/Poems

Paint Me Joy…

May 31, 2023 jacquelineobyikocha4 Comments

Joy has no colour

yet it radiates far brighter

than all the colours

put together…

I feel beautiful

not as a result of makeup

but for joy

that bubbles within…

P.S. As I get older, I do understand the fact that money and material things certainly make life easier and less stressed, but I have also learnt certain valuable lessons during infernal times of financial constraint that the true depths of peace and joy that we experience in life can never be attributed to what we own materially. It is borne as a fruit of the spirit.

Blogging · Philosophy of Life

This life…

May 23, 2023 jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment

Photo by Hakeem James Hausley on Pexels.com

Life is an interwoven maze of our experiences. Days blur into each other creating our past, present, future and indeed, life is truly what we make of it.

The past is done and gone. A mere recollection that serves, hopefully, as a compass and guide in our present. A memory bank of moments lived which we sometimes relive in nostalgia or regret. The past we can never return to nor regain no matter how hard we try or how much we want it.

The present is what we live and inhabit and the culmination of our presents make our past, which is why our presence in our present deeply counts. This is where the key to our happiness lies. Staying fully present and living our best moments in the now – no matter how mundane our day may seem – so that when we look back on our recollections – which we tend to ruminate on – we will have fonder thoughts and reasons to smile and not sigh nor wince in regret.

The future is an illusion of time that we do not have. The future is infinite. We postpone everything to an imagined future when all we truly have is ‘NOW’ This is the bane of most of our lives: waiting, postponing, planning! When we truly get to understand that

Live all aspects of your present time as well as you can. Give everyday that you receive the best of you and life will reward you in the same coin.

Philosophy of Life · WordPress · writing challenge

To do or not to do…

February 7, 2023 jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment

Procrastination. One word that carries a lot of weight and consequences whether positive and negative. I doubt if there’s anyone who hasn’t slept on certain things at some point in time and the truth is that procrastination does not always connote negativity. Indeed, there are some benefits to be derived from procrastinating and the assumption that we must be active every time – as society often deems action as progress – is not always valid.

Sometimes, we do need to take our time and delay taking action so that we can gather our thoughts, think things through to gain better clarity especially when it has to do with a critical decision. It also gives us the opportunity to run our thoughts by others and possibly see a different viewpoint. Now and again, procrastination reduces the sense of stress which is usually associated with multi-tasking, timebound deliverables and keeping to deadlines.

If not handled properly, procrastination can become a perennial problem and valuable time gets lost. Having a dream and simply sleeping on it will never get that dream to materialize. It is better to start small and stay consistent. Putting things off till the last minute creates unnecessary anxiety in itself.

Even one’s best intentions can derail when they don’t get acted on and this can have negative impact on the person’s progress. However, when one is selectively procrastinating and using delay as a tool to gain more clarity, more resources or perspective, it may make a world of positive difference, though the crux here is to always be in charge and to know when and how to procrastinate to your advantage.

@beyondexisting.j
Unleash your potentials #foru #fyp #slay #unleashyourpower #motivation #succeed #potential
♬ Believer – Imagine Dragons

Philosophy of Life · WordPress · writing challenge

About Time…

January 25, 2023 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

One lie that I have always told myself and even started to believe to a large extent is that age is just a number and in the mind and that it’s never too late to become what we want to become. The lie that there’s time to pursue our dreams sometime in the future. Yes, indeed we can still pursue certain aspirations during the sunsetting days of our lives, but we should never forget the mere fact that not only are we are not in charge of time, but also, certain dreams require better state of physical health which sadly deteriorates as one ages.

I guess this lie is to serve as comfort in the face of the fact that I am yet to accomplish a lot of things that I desire to. It serves as a motivator so that I don’t feel disappointed in myself for not living the life of my dreams. The thought that tomorrow will bring better fortune and opportunity to pursue those things that I am truly passionate about holds hope in it and serves as a soothing balm.

The truth is that I have spent the better part of my life so far trying to survive and stay alive by doing what is necessary to provide the basic needs of life. Now that I know better, I have been working at ensuring that each day, a piece of my time is spent doing something about the things that make me feel more alive.

Putting everything away for tomorrow is futile because in reality, the future is today and that illusive future that we await for will never come if we do nothing with the present time. All we are truly given is the present moment that we are experiencing and how we use it matters most. This is one of the driving reasons behind the name that I chose for my TikTok and YouTube pages ‘Beyond Existing‘ to remind myself that each day must be spent fully living in the present, savouring the moments that life brings, pushing past the edge of survival and mere existence.

@beyondexisting.j
New day, new gift, fresh anointing #fyp #quotes #newday
♬ This Is My Now – Jordin Sparks

Blogging · Philosophy of Life · WordPress · writing challenge

Success: small and large…

January 12, 2023 jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

I am aware that most would define success based on the amount of material wealth someone has and will consider those who are struggling with poverty as unsuccessful especially in today’s society, but I dare to disagree with this one-dimensional point of view.

Success is quite subjective depending on who is defining it or experiencing it and my thoughts about success might differ a bit from what others and society may consider as success. Success for me is checking off my to-do list at the end of the day and realizing that I accomplished all my outlined tasks. It gives me a great sense of pleasure and morale boost when I stay consistent in working towards achieving my goals and those daily tasks eventually culminate to achieving my bigger goals.

Success comes in many shapes and sizes, small or large. For instance, I deem it success when parents raise children who become responsible, empathetic and productive members of the larger society. Encouraging someone who is probably struggling to get through a rough day, getting out of bed and getting things done when my state of mind is only asking me to stay under the duvet and do nothing, a toddler taking those first steps without falling down at every attempt, getting a promotion at work, reaching your set financial goal for the month, a middle school kid being able to finally understand a mathematical concept, a homeless person finally being able to have a place to call their own, and so forth.

People are living their success each day in their own way and it is truly important that at each point in time, we set parameters of success that agrees with us and our circumstances. To each his own. May you find your success small and large.

Let’s connect on Tiktok

@beyondexisting.j
Streams of joy #fyp #foryoupage #selfie #selflove #mentalhealth #behappy
♬ Kute & Neat – Sasique

Inspiration - Motivation · Philosophy of Life

The journey to a happier you.

December 1, 2022 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

There are many gateways that lead us to our individual pleasures but there’s only one true pathway to happiness and the track runs through you.

The key that unlocks our happiness lies within us and can’t be found elsewhere. Outer factors may contribute to our state of bliss now and again, such as: recognitions and prestigious awards, salary raise, exciting new relationships, fancy gadgets, weight loss, new home, travelling etc. These things can contribute in making us feel great at the initial stage, however, that buzz and thrill does not last very long as we are quick to adapt to changes and those positive things that made us happier at first fast become our new normal and we return to our previous happiness baseline.

Positive psychology shows that a person can truly increase their happiness and overall satisfaction with life which does not necessarily entail winning lottery ticket or material stuff or some sort of drastic change of circumstances. What it takes, is an inner change of perspective and attitude and this is something that anyone can do.

When we fail to settle down and dig deeper to unlock the essence of who we are, we tend to fill our days with activities, going through the daily motions of surviving and are left feeling listless and dissatisfied with life.

If you feel like this, now’s the time to start searching for the missing link and hopefully, the answer will click. The journey to a happier you can often be lonely but you can improve your experience by surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, value yourself and your relationships, keep the beautiful memories and positive experiences closer in mind, achieve goals and appreciate them no matter how small.

Train your brain to be more positive: express gratitude, give sincere thanks to others, find the positive sides of negative events from your past (not the easiest task but you can reevaluate a negative past event keeping your eye on what you learned or how you became stronger, wiser, or more compassionate.
Go spiritual and seek to understand one’s inner life better in order to act more wisely.
Nurture and enjoy your relationships: Make a conscious effort to stay connected, invest in quality time with the people you care about, offer sincere compliments, take delight in the good fortune of others, seek out happy people
Live in the moment and savour life’s pleasures: meditate, practice mindfulness, adopt enjoyable daily routines, minimize multi-tasking, recollect happy memories and do stop to smell the coffee or the roses.
Focus on helping others and living with meaning: practice kindness, volunteer, play to your strength by building your activities around those things that allows you to use your strengths for greater good.
Take better care of your health: get quality sleep, eat balanced and nutritious meals, exercise, relax the mind…

We all want to live happier lives and this is possible. I hope that you found this article useful.

Feel free to check me on Tiktok below and you can always join my Livestream to make new friends. Hope to see you one of these days.

@beyondexisting.j
You Can #wordsofwisdom #powerful #fyp #foryoupage #motivation #motivationalquote #advice #inspiration #beyondexistingj
♬ Keep Showing Up (Motivational Speech) – Fearless Motivation

Humans · mental health · Nature · Philosophy of Life · Poetry/Poems · Wellness

across the bridge…

July 20, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

as we laid
your body down
and you crossed the bridge

to the other side

the airy wind
blew it’s gentle breeze
around us, it flowed

to the other side

a lone tear
escaped my eyes
racing to my mouth

I had promised
that I would
stop crying

but the calmness
of the air
reminds of your gentle ways

when will we
see you again, if ever,
my heart is pained.

For you my dear friend – departed – I wish not to say. May your soul find rest after all the pain. May you know peace and may your wings continue to flap gently in the wind. I see your smile. Though we know that none of us will get out of here alive, that death is part of life, yet, its sting is never lessened.

Love · Musings · Philosophy of Life

To love or not to love?

July 14, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most – Socrates

Sometimes, it seems far easier for our peace of mind to walk away from those in our lives who are so hard to love. Such situation is certainly a paradox in life. It can be tough and even most times exasperating loving someone who is indifferent to your attempts. I believe that the problem of such people stems from unresolved issues and they may have developed this mental defensive mechanism as a way of coping and in response to their secret concerns. Do we then stop loving them and walk away?

Love is a choice; sometimes a deliberate decision. You can’t force it down someone’s throat or make them reciprocate what they don’t feel. I should think that it is far more pragmatic to love such a person and to pray for them from a distance because loving them up close can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.

Walking away from them should not be about abandoning them ‘cos love is what feeds and fills our soul. Love does not rush. It is patient! I guess we love them because we hope for and see potential for change.