No.
They look tired.
They seem hardened.
Some look utterly exhausted.
Beaten, bumped and scarred.
by life.
Physically and emotionally…
drained.
I pray peace for them.
a warm, soft and safe place
to lay their weary hands and heads.
Category: kindness
Choosing Lavender…
Already! It’s the end of a work week here. Hardly did the alarm go off on Sunday morning, and now here we are; it’s Thursday. Hey Presto!… and the hours spill into days and the days into weeks and months and the year is almost gone.
Before you know it, 1 year is gone, and next and the next… With each cycle of time, we turn a new age, from 20 to 30 to 40, to 50, 60, 70 years old and so on if life is kind to you. Years lived and days passed. As we take stock of all the years gone by, we realize how much we have gained and lost as well. With the passage of time, some of us have expanded sideways and gained some wisdom ‘hopefully’… We have lost loved ones and as much as we would like most things in our life to stay stable, sadly we can never turn back the hands of time.
I remember my teenage years of hot pants, pedal-pushers, minis and what-not and the firm perkiness of my body parts, no extra folds and rolls, and non-creaky achy parts. Those yesteryears when I thought 30 was old… What my young mind did not conceive then was the need to ensure that I truly enjoyed and appreciated those moments. That I would one day look back with deep-seated nostalgia and sense of loss never occurred to me.
Now, as older years loom ahead, we must, despite all the ups and downs of life, learn to enjoy the time that we have. Let’s immerse ourselves in doing those things that bring us and those around us joy, laughter, peace, calm, hope and prosperity. Learning to leave rancour, undue stress, grudges, worry and all those negative thoughts, emotions and actions that don’t add a jot of value to our lives is a valuable strength. Put some colour in the greys of your days and don’t keep waiting for the right time or a party to wear that beautiful lavender dress of yours. BE The Party! Find the Zest even when it seems evasive. You will be better for it.
Let’s smile at the little things and let the joy and serenity derived from such feeling sooth our bruised souls. There are so many lost moments and broken dreams in afterwards. Even when we are blessed with longevity, life is a short trip.
Life can’t be lived in the afterwards, ‘cos priorities will always change. Afterwards, the momentary charm gets broken. Afterwards, our offspring grow up, we age and our parents get older. Afterwards, health passes and promises get forgotten. Afterwards, our vigour diminishes, the days become less and life eventually ends. Let’s stop waiting for later, ‘cos in doing so we lose the best moments, the best experiences, best friends, the best family that life has to offer. We are no longer at that youthful age where we believe we have the time to postpone what needs to be done in the immediate.
When you are young, getting older might look an eternity, but eternity is most certainly a short trip.
Enjoy Your Life, Be Kind to Yourself and Others. Peace be with you!
Pressing the reset button…
So far, it’s been a tremendously hard year all around the world for many. Our general sense of normalcy and everyday routines, that feeling of taking charge and being in control of our actions and surroundings – which are things we all took for granted, is at very low levels. The anxious have become more anxious, the depressed are more depressed, the lonely feel more isolated and the angry ones’ simply grew worse with their anger mingled with hatred.
Laughter seems far and few in between with frustration and financial crisis dogging many of us night and day. Emotions are all over the place these days and all it takes is spending a few minutes online to witness meltdowns, emotional combustions here and there, all decorated with colourful expletives.
Yet, there’s hope and there are many lessons to be learnt from this difficult experience and our focus shouldn’t stay hung up on all the stress that we have and possibly still experiencing at present. I have searched within me to see what I have felt, what I have seen and what I have learned. My thoughts are not coming out in any particular order, just a free flow of some of what is going on in my head at present without editing.
This situation has shown us that a virus can be a unifier because it doesn’t choose boundaries. It can affect anyone irrespective of background, race, religion, culture, financial status etc. Standing alone as individuals we are fragile, but as a community, we stand stronger, hence, since death is always over one’s left shoulder as is commonly said, we must remember our humanity and the importance of treating each person right especially in the face of our temporal existence.
Everything that you know can end today, ‘cos tomorrow is promised to no one, therefore, it is absolutely essential to focus on the right things and be fully present in every given moment. Value the preciousness of your existence as well as that of others.
Learn to enjoy your life and appreciate what you have. Just think about the fact that there are people out there with far less and possibly in more dire straits. Things may not be going as smoothly for you as they did many months back – know that this time too shall pass and these days which have been spent slowing down is not a waste of time. Our focus has shifted a lot more from material things to things that matter – the bare basic needs of life.
Don’t be reluctant to embrace those little things that will work miracles in you; don’t be afraid to live each day as you deserve and to help others when you can. If you are unable to be of help, the least you can do is not to spoil someone else’s day
If you didn’t do so well yesterday, PLEASE, don’t be afraid to press the reset button and start again today. Saying YES to a refresh is far better than going on a long trip down guilt lane.
Sometimes when life presses that pause button, it is simply asking us to slow down and to take a good look at ourselves. My hope is that these days has taught us to love, to care, to listen, to help and to respect others.
How are you doing? I hope that things haven’t been too rough?
When the corpse is not ours…
In my place, it is commonly said that “when they carry the corpse of someone you don’t know, it simply seems like the pallbearers are carrying an old box.” To make the understanding clearer, when we are insulated and are not directly affected by wicked acts of fellow men, the outcomes of those actions barely cause us to pause and think.
Until we all as humans recognize that everybody has a right to life whatever race or colour they may be, whatever religion they choose to believe in, whatever gender or sexual affiliation they lean to, whatever tongue they may speak in…
until we as humans realize that no one is superior to the other and that all men are created equal – men used figuratively in this sense…
until we humans understand that the migration of people has been happening from the beginning of time and whether we like it or not, mixing of races and change is inevitable…
until we as individuals begin to question our love for hatred, bigotry, division and discrimination, prejudice and intolerance…
until we start to hold the toes of our leaders to the fire and hold them accountable for their utterances and misbegotten directions…
until we lose the cloak of apathy that seems to have pervaded our minds and taken place in our hearts where empathy should be…
until we as individuals search our souls and ask ourselves if we are truly living and reflecting the goodness that we want to see in the world…
despicable and horrific occurrences like mass shooting will continue to gather momentum…
and who knows…
maybe one day, that old rickety box might very well become ours to bear.
The Brief Smile…
From yards away, I saw her. Seated in a yoga pose on the brown bench, her back to the early morning sun, my quiet musing was interrupted.
Like a dog that sniffs at the air, I sniffed at the aura surrounding her and within a stone throw, I saw the unwitting frown line that dug into the sides of her lips; they were at odds with the smoothness of her forehead.
She raised a flask, took a sip and dropped it, all the time her right fingers tapped on her phone with speed that belied her pose. I watched her with more interest as I drew closer, my brisk steps slowed down a notch. I saw a tear as it escaped and raced down her pinkened cheek.
It could have been easier to avert my eyes and pretend I neither saw her nor witnessed her private pain. I didn’t want to embarrass her, yet, I couldn’t resist slowing down and deliberately saying hello to catch her eyes.
Her expressive dark brown eyes shared its story in that brief moment of raising them to look at me.
I smiled. I was smiling not just at the physical person that I saw, but at the soul within. I didn’t know what her burdens were and what the secret in her melancholic eyes was, but I hoped that in offering her that smile and nod, I offered her a prayer that made her know that yes, everything is going to be alright.
We All Grieve – How To Support Someone Grieving
For some reason, some people find the grieving process embarrassing and uncomfortable, thus the tendency for such people is to avoid those who show their pain, or on the other hand, to hide their pain and carry on with life as usual.
At some point in time, we all suffer a loss and we grieve, but because majority of people think of grief as that single instance or short period of time of experiencing pain or sadness in response to a loss, many are literally rushed through the grieving process and encouraged to party away their sorrows so to speak.
What many fail to understand is that grieving is a highly emotional process which differs from person to person and can last a long time. No one can tell another how to grieve because you don’t bear their pain.
For anyone who’s going through loss, there are ways that help to mitigate the situation even when the pain is palpable and seems unending.
- Give it time and always allow yourself the quietness and space you need to be alone. Have a meltdown if you need to. Tears help to rid the body of stress hormones.
- Accept the way you feel, no matter how you feel and don’t judge yourself for grieving over your loss.
- Write it out. Write a letter to your loved one, or journal your thought process about your loss.
- Talk about it with others who have experienced loss. How do they find the strength to carry on? Don’t be ashamed to ask such questions.
- Talk to your lost loved one even if your conversation feels strange and one-sided.
- Look through your old photos, letters, emails or other things that you shared. Relive those wonderful times/and not so wonderful times shared.
- Find a hobby that makes you happy, kick-start a healthier lifestyle.
- Wear something of theirs, like a piece of jewellery, chain, watch…which could instil a sense of closeness.
- Honour them with poetry if you are into writing poetry or a piece of testimonial that you are able to write infused with details of your loved one.
- Take it one day at a time, celebrate life as much as you can, get out more into nature and remember to honour them by living happy and living the way that they would have wanted you to.
How to offer support to someone recently bereaved and what not to say to them.
- Don’t avoid someone who’s been bereaved. It only hurts them further. Sending a brief note, text, email, phone call or other means of contact is a good idea.
- Don’t ever compare the loss of someone’s loved one to the loss of a pet.
- Don’t tell someone how they’re feeling because their grief is personal and everyone process things differently.
- Don’t stop someone crying or telling them not to cry. Though this might be meant to be helpful, it seems as if you are shutting them down and asking the person to bottle up their emotion.
- A reassuring, gentle touch to let them know you are there is sufficient. You are not obliged to say something immediately.
- Remember that grief lasts long after the delivery of the sad news. Check on the person at regular intervals to know how they are doing.
- Following the shocking news, the first few days and even weeks may be hard on the bereaved that daily tasks like cooking and eating become difficult. Sending food and offering to help with mundane admin tasks is helpful. Your friend may need extra support.
- Soon after the death, someone needs to sign the death certificate. This usually falls on a close member of the family and it’s a tough task to do alone. If you are in a position to go with the bereaved ensure that they have all the vital information and documentation required because a death certificate cannot be altered.
- Attend the funeral if possible. It is comforting to know that there are lots of people to see off a loved one.
- Be mindful of saying such things like: “they have gone to a better place,” or “they died at a good age.” There’s never a right age to lose someone you love.
- Don’t be afraid to share the minutiae details or funny anecdotes of your day with them. Distracting, normal everyday news of other people’s lives can be comforting.
- Don’t let fear hold you back from helping. Be someone’s shoulder and listening ear as they walk through their grief.
Need…Save A Friend!
It hurts my soul
to see people in need
and I can’t help
not because I don’t want to help
but because I don’t have the means
and in such moments
I despise my lean pocket.
How can you be my brother’s keeper when you barely have enough bread to break? Yes, you can! If you’ve got a dollar, that’s a whole lot of coins!
Please know that reaching out to share with others is not only when your basket of fish is overflowing, you can have one fish and still share out of it. I run into people – both online and in real time – who are in dire need of support and it leaves my heart aching when I am not able to assist as much as I would like to assist.
I know a number of great folks who have left blogging due to difficulties in sustaining themselves. To exist becomes a hardship when you know or see that no one cares, not to talk about thriving. Please don’t be in a haste to discount those whom you see in these tight corners – life happens.
Help, Help, and Help. There’s a sister amongst us in the blogging community whose constraints are quite dire right now and needs our support – I prefer not to call names for privacy sake, but she reached out to me.
If you can assist her through me, no gift is too small, please do so. Here’s my PayPal link.
On my honour, you have my word that whatever is raised through this means will be given to our friend. Thank you for your generosity.
Jacqueline
Let us not fold our hands in anticipation that others should do that which we can help to do. Together, we can. Jacqueline
P.S. Because of how important this issue is to me, I want to give this post priority and will not be sharing another post today.
Just a thought
Recently, someone told me that they can’t stand unnecessarily good people because they don’t believe that people are that good.
As a matter of fact, they get suspicious when people are good to them.
What a sad way to think 
I still believe that there are loads of beautiful and good people in today’s World and you are one of them 🙂
Show some meaningless kindness to someone today.
Blessed be.
Jacqueline
Same thing applies to all of us!
![Mankind[1]](https://acookingpotandtwistedtales.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/mankind1.jpg)
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS AN IMMIGRANT!!
You can check other Monday memes on Leannenz platform.
Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.
When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.
I absolutely love this book of poems. My favorites are “Love Rations” (for those who love to give the silent treatment) and “Beggars Supper” (which definitely pulls at the heart strings). Two thumbs up!!
If you enjoy my works, you can fuel my creativity with a cup of coffee or a slice of cake 😉
Highlighting the positives…Kindness challenge
This happens to be the season in the year where kindness takes a lot of precedence over here.
I’ve witnessed generous gestures by people around me more than usual, that I can’t help but wonder why we as humans just can’t continue to live like this.
Why should kindness simply not be a common factor in our lives every day, then I also realise that it may not be as easy as I would wish because sometimes, I even struggle to be kind to myself.
For the past week, I have been super-charged with a lot of thoughts of things I need to get done (like how to effectively market my book, how to write the one that I am currently writing, work and life balance and so on) and feeling guilty for not doing as much as I should be doing, that if truth be told sometimes all I truly want to do right now is to just fall into bed, curl up with a book and eat as many bars of chocolate as I can possibly muster, but such luxury eludes me as a working, writing family woman.
Thankfully, taking part in Niki’s Kindness challenge has kept the thoughts of kindness at the forefront of my mind, making me make aware that I should soft pedal and take it a bit at a time in order not to run myself aground and for the past few days I have been consciously attentive to keep my mind focused on the positive things that I have achieved at the end of each day and less highlighting of the negative.
End each day with kindness.
“Be kind to yourself and then let your kindness flood the World.” Pema Chodron
Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.
When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.
She is amazing at describing love and life in her poems. She creates such beautiful images with her words. Truly, she is a talented writer and I’m so excited to have her poetry book and to continue reading through it.
a cooking pot and twisted tales 