Defer your judgement and keep possibilities open. When we judge everything: people, products, behaviour etc before we’ve had the opportunity to decide if they are good or bad we pigeonhole it and lock it down; we simply kill the opportunity for such possibilities to be.
When we train our inner critic, we become our inner coach. Jacqueline
Most times we are our own worst critics, that it takes extra effort to find the good parts of ourselves. We worry that they are not good enough. We think that they need to achieve more to be enough. We think we are way behind our contemporaries. We think that we have failed. We think that we could have done better, we think that we shouldn’t have done certain things – forgetting that the decision that we took at that time was probably the best decision we could have taken at that point in time. The list of what your inner critic has to offer is bottomless and focusing on these negative criticisms simply builds into your psyche.
Taking charge of your inner critic automatically creates better grounds to rise above certain self-limiting thoughts and you enable your mind to suggest pragmatic steps to do better than you’ve done in the past. Always remember that talking yourself down only succeeds in keeping you down. I am not in anyway suggesting that your shoulders should get so high on hubris, but putting yourself down constantly is not humility in any way. For every thought of criticism, find thoughts of affirmation and empowerment that deflates it.
Focus on finding the good in yourself and others each day, because as you focus less on finding all the faults in the world around you, you’ll become more appreciative, more optimistic and your possibilities grow.
So far have I sojourned on this side of existence, yet most days I feel that I’m yet to begin. I feel as if the path before me is longer than the routes I have walked. As if the mountains to climb are higher with many more rivers to wade through.
So far have I come from the long-limbed, tall, awkward, bookwormish, scared, young unassuming ‘yes’ girl who internalized the pain and confusion of abuse, to the feisty, outspoken and confident mature woman that I’m today.
It’s two days to my birthday and I find that I’m always in an introspective mood several days to my birthday. I find myself reviewing things in my head and asking myself some cliched questions like ‘does life truly begin at 40?’
Well, my life’s calendar has hit 40 and heading way into the middle and these are my thoughts so far; it’s taken me 40+ years to decipher ‘who I am’ and I certainly like this human that I’m evolving into. It so happens that I didn’t find my true passion earlier than my 40’s and I oscillated from one career pursuit to the other. Now that I know what I know, I don’t have time to waste in the pursuit of things that steal my peace and waste my time.
With these years of experience, harsh reality has taught me that it’s possible to be viewed as overqualified and too old for certain job opportunities – my personal experience was a rude shock that took days to assimilate.
So far, I’ve discovered a sense of belonging to myself, to a God within me and to let go of what the world thinks and meeting its ever-changing barometers.
So far, I understand that I’m halfway to the finish line, that life and death begin together and that each day the more we are alive, the closer we are to death, thus each day has to count and my best life is now – not yesterday, not tomorrow.
For me, 40+ is just a precursor to better years of adventures to begin. So far, so good. How are you holding up so far?
When lost don’t panic,
just leave little marks of hope on your path
they will lead you home.
There are times that we feel overwhelmingly lost, but this doesn’t mean that your life is doomed. It spells a transition and transformation. The key is not to get stuck in your current rut, but to tap into your hopeful and creative power to redirect your steps back to the life and you that you love.
Apply these 7 simple tips as often as you need to help yourself out of that state.
With the frenetic lifestyle that we live and the persistent mind chatter, it’s easy to drown out those signs that speak to us, which is why it’s important to create silence and listen. Life offers us divine messages through various means – songs, billboards, books, nature, the people we meet etc. When we keep our eye’s and minds open we receive guidance and take notice of more.
2. Always remember that the choices are yours. You have the power to be and to do that which you desire.
You get to choose how you feel, what you think, what you do etc. You are empowered to create the life you wish for and it’s important to focus on the positive things around you. The power of attraction makes it such that the Universe will send you more of the same things that you seek.
3. Go and do those things that you love to do. Have an adventure.
Toss out the excuses of no time, no money, no this and that and create the space to do those fun things that make your heart sing. Go out and explore your world – a retreat, solitary walks, a day trip etc. Taking yourself away from your regular patch and its noise offers you opportunities to experience life through fresh eyes.
4. Extend yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Growth will not happen when you stay confined in that comfortable, familiar bubble of yours. Challenge yourself to do new things that invigorate you.
5. Reconnect with your dreams and aspirations. Expand your coast and dream bigger.
What dreams did you have for your life before you deemed them impossible to achieve or they fell through the cracks of a frantic lifestyle? Revisit those dreams. Write them out and enjoy floating in your dreamland. Reconnecting with your dreams has a way of opening up your mind and floodgate of inspiration.
6. Live a healthy lifestyle, have an adventure
When you are healthier, you feel better in general. Eating right with regular exercises rewards you with a clearer mind.
7. Ask for help
You don’t have to stay stuck in the jam trying to figure it out all on your own. Reach out and ask for help, because sometimes a mere chat with someone you trust can ease the burden and provide great insight that will help you move forward.
Mama said to me, baby,
not all your problems
are worth bringing into the light
of the day
We tie such petty issues
beneath our George wrapper
and squash them squarely
between the resilience of our thick thighs.
This is an excerpt from my work-in-progress.
You can read my book, Unbridled on Kindle Unlimited for free.
Spring follows Winter seamlessly as it has done over the ages and time passes by so quickly, sometimes in a blur that we tend to take the itty-bitty parts of our lives for granted.
In Spring the heat of the sun gathers in momentum over here, that by Summer time it’s literally steaming and baking at such a degree that the heat wallops you in the face and every hidden part that it can get. I consider myself a child of the Sun, I love warmth, but not the unbelievable scorching sun of the Middle East that makes you feel as if you are dough brought out to rise and bake in the torrid desert heat.
As I drive around pursuing the days business, I see dots of umbrella’s waving down the streets sheltering the heads of their owners and I know untold pleasure and gratitude over having the comfort of my car and the air conditioner that keeps me from perspiring and swimming in my own sweat.
I am thankful for the gift of being their mother as I listen to my children chatter and squabble over what radio channel to listen to as we drive home from school and I wonder how we take such comfort for granted.
Sometimes, my heart knows untold joy for things that I can’t explain and I wish I could freeze frame those moments so that I may look at the beautiful, divine colours that these moments make.
Spring is such a beautiful season, so does every other season that we are given hold its own beauty. We are only given a handful of Springs in our lifetime and one thought that stays with me as I write this is, may we thankfully plant in the Spring of opportunity of our lives so that we do have a great harvest in the Fall.
Peace be with you. What are you grateful for today?
If you wish to participate in a gratitude challenge, there are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfillment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.