So far have I sojourned on this side of existence, yet most days I feel that I’m yet to begin. I feel as if the path before me is longer than the routes I have walked. As if the mountains to climb are higher with many more rivers to wade through.
So far have I come from the long-limbed, tall, awkward, bookwormish, scared, young unassuming ‘yes’ girl who internalized the pain and confusion of abuse, to the feisty, outspoken and confident mature woman that I’m today.
It’s two days to my birthday and I find that I’m always in an introspective mood several days to my birthday. I find myself reviewing things in my head and asking myself some cliched questions like ‘does life truly begin at 40?’
Well, my life’s calendar has hit 40 and heading way into the middle and these are my thoughts so far; it’s taken me 40+ years to decipher ‘who I am’ and I certainly like this human that I’m evolving into. It so happens that I didn’t find my true passion earlier than my 40’s and I oscillated from one career pursuit to the other. Now that I know what I know, I don’t have time to waste in the pursuit of things that steal my peace and waste my time.
With these years of experience, harsh reality has taught me that it’s possible to be viewed as overqualified and too old for certain job opportunities – my personal experience was a rude shock that took days to assimilate.
So far, I’ve discovered a sense of belonging to myself, to a God within me and to let go of what the world thinks and meeting its ever-changing barometers.
So far, I understand that I’m halfway to the finish line, that life and death begin together and that each day the more we are alive, the closer we are to death, thus each day has to count and my best life is now – not yesterday, not tomorrow.
For me, 40+ is just a precursor to better years of adventures to begin. So far, so good. How are you holding up so far?
Written for SoCS – so far