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Conscious Participant – Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

As the deer pants for water so does my soul pant for peace in today’s world. Each day I wear my big girl pants and get on with living in the face of multiple challenges, sometimes, unfortunately, doubled due to the colour of my skin. One topic that I find unsavoury to talk about is race and that in 2017 I have to justify myself as a human and my right to life.

I was raised by loving, upright and hardworking folks and I aim to be a good representative of my parents. Back home, we didn’t bother with the difference of skin colour and all the rampant ugliness of hate that currently swirls around.

I didn’t know that I’m black. I only knew that I’m a valuable human being and a fellow occupant of the world and it was not until I ventured away from my home country to the US and now the UAE that the true depth of the human psyche shows up in ways I never anticipated. It has been a roller-coaster ride.

My spirit is heavy at the moment and I want to keep my thoughts contained. It’s just that I’m sad that I’m raising children in a world where a good part of their childhood is now spent teaching them that they are no different nor less valuable than others, teaching them how to react if by any chance they ever run into a policeman, teaching them to walk away when someone decides to be flippant and call them ugly words. Teaching them that they must be conscious participants in life because they can make a difference and maybe change will come in their time. Teaching them things children shouldn’t be saddled with. Teaching them………it’s simply exhausting.

Jacqueline

Now we’ve got a spanking new badge for SoCS. Well done to all the participants and thank you, Linda, for today’s prompt ‘pant.’

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Don’t Keep Me Guessing…

Guessing can be cruel in relationships and I don’t like guessing games even if I sound like Scar in Lion King. This especially pertains to how someone feels.

I won’t leave you guessing how I feel. I say it as it is to me. Sometimes I guess I may be wrong, but I would rather bring it out in the open and we deal with it.

I don’t want you to expect me to guess how you feel and my assumption is that if you expect me to guess how you feel, that means you are either not sure of your feelings or simply don’t feel anything.

I’ve reached a stage in my life where I crave certainty and don’t want to keep second-guessing who, where what, why and every which way and I am working hard to give myself some of that certainty even though we all know that no one knows what tomorrow will bring but we can rightly guess that there will be a tomorrow and the Sun will shine.

Why I say it can be cruel in relationships to leave the other party constantly guessing where they stand, is because it leaves them open to making all the wrong assumptions. A lot of times perception is more powerful than reality and the mind has a way of extrapolating things beyond its right measure which can damage a relationship over time.

So, please leave the guess work at the door of our friendship. When I hurt your feelings let it out and give me a chance to apologize otherwise, guess what? Use the door and close it firmly behind you.

Jacqueline

Linda told me to guess. #SoCS

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The Low Down… #SoCS

Highlight of my week was bludgeoning people to check out my newly published book ‘Unbridled,’ and thinking of all the ways to get the ball rolling fast enough 😉

Do authors ever get to a point when they are no longer emotionally committed to their books that its performance doesn’t affect the highs and lows of their emotions? I am doubtful.

My emotional tank has been out of sync and swinging like a pendulum. One moment I feel anxious, the next I feel depleted, and the next I feel absolutely fine…

Sometimes, I must say that I think writing is a cursed gift, especially when I have several muses running around in my head all begging to be heard.

One needs to be mad enough to take the high road to earn a decent living as a writer, but the low down is this, the gift of writing is a gift that never stops giving and a gift worth having.

Either way, it can give you a euphoric high or bring you down low.

Jacqueline

Linda, thank you for the prompt ‘High & Low’, it’s made me ruminate a bit to have a clearer understanding of my current feelings.

Check out my latest book ‘Unbridled.’

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In Limbo – #SoCS

These days my lower limbs tend to hurt more and I guess it must be ageing coupled with my fibromyalgia pains. They creak like the limbs of an old door and I keep telling myself that I need to drop the excess kilos and give the poor limbs a break so that they will serve me for a long time.

With my weight in limbo – I’ve forgotten what it means to be svelte but I know that my former svelte self is tucked away somewhere in all this blubber if only I can find her.

Jacqueline

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Limb

 

 

Let me toot a bit of my own horn and mention here that my new poetry book ‘ Unbridled’ is now available on Amazon.

A little about Unbridled from a reader:

‘Unbridled is a collection of uncensored, bold poems. The author speaks without niceties. The soul of each poetry tugs at the depth of your being and the writing style makes it easy to identify with the emotions of the character in each poem. If you are looking for the unspoken truth that society would rather brush under the carpet, I recommend you read Unbridled.’ – Ekaete Augustine-Edet

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Unseen Ceilings… Stream of Consciousness Saturday

They say that the sky is the limit
well, that’s a half-truth
‘cos they will place unseen glass ceilings
to keep you tightly sealed in.

They’ll watch with keen interest
to see how you can push through,
to see if you’ve got the gumption
to put cracks in that ceiling

I say that putting cracks is not enough;
and I know it won’t be easy,
but if you take the sealing off your mind
you can bring that ceiling crashing down.

When I saw the prompt for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday ‘sealing/ceiling,’ many things came to my mind.

I wanted to write my thoughts about glass ceilings and its effect on women, but it would have become an essay, ‘cos I have a lot to say on this subject. I’ll, however, leave off delving into it right now and save it for the day that I’m ready for a war of sexes.

Jacqueline

What’s in A Title? SoCS

My new poetry book’s title is ‘Unbridled’ which hopefully should be released this week since it has passed the review on Createspace. I am happy to get it out and hope to see it do well in the market. Isn’t that what we all hope for when we are working on those books of ours? For our book not just to become one more title languishing in the humongous world of books, but to create some ripple of its own?

To choose a book title can be a tricky thing, to say the least. There’s a book that I am working on and I kid you not when I say that it I am yet to decipher ‘the book title‘ for this book. I am just enjoying cobbling the story together and I guess somewhere along the line, the name will come to me.

That said, the book title that has earned me a ‘side-eye’ from my hubby and a curious query from my daughter is the one that I’m presently reading ‘How to kill your husband (and other handy household hints),’ by Kathy Lette. I guess with such a book title, any spouse would raise their eyebrows in silent query 😉

It’s not only funny, filled with wise cracks but has an interesting plot twist and I am enjoying reading several pages before nodding off to sleep each night.

Normally, I would finish a book within two days, but these days the enormity of things that I’ve to do just makes my reading time less than it used to be. Besides, there’s no rush but to take the time to savour a book. I am not in a competition with anyone on how many book titles I’ve read.

Jacqueline

Thank you, Linda, for this week’s interesting prompt ‘book title.’

 

Simple Pleasures. ..

Instead of oooohing and aaaahing, it was more like hmming and more hmming last night when I submitted my back to my daughter for some home therapy and massage.

She kneeded my bunched up expansive back and neck muscles with eucalyptus oil and that sent me to sleep.

Then the deep ooooh’s and aaaah’s was emitted over today’s decadent breakfast of hash browns, pancakes, omelette, bacon and a hot cup of Karak Chai. Life is sweet with food 😉

I shamelessly indulged in every single calorie-laden bite with gratitude to God.

Truly, the best things in life that make us ooooh and aaaah are simple pleasures and a lot of times they are homemade.

© Jacqueline

Thank you to Dan our moderator and weekend host for the interesting prompt ‘Ooooh aaaah,’ for today’s SoCS.

You are all invited to my monthly blog party going on right now. Come on in.