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Convolution of Tribes…

People crave for a revolution
‘cos they’ve been let down by malevolence
and forsaken by the benevolence
of convoluted governance

The journey through a revolution
most times leaves a devolved nation
riddled with woes and horrifying history
yet evolution is a must, ‘cos life is forever in a flux.

So, we march onto tomorrows evolution
leaving the frivolous tendencies of the past
hoping that in a nonvolatile manner
we guarantee a better future for our progeny.

I write this poem above for many Nations going through the pains of bad leadership and especially my home country Nigeria, which has been a boiling pot.

I am Nigerian by birth. From the Igbo tribe and I am Biafran. Over decades, the Igbo’s have been marginalized in the convoluted tribes of a Nation married by the Colonial Masters. This led to the Civil war that left millions dead – Chimamanda’s award-winning book, Half of The Yellow Sun is centered on this.

The Igbo’s have constantly sought a referendum and a chance to be heard. Constantly, the ruling government feels that deploying soldiers to the South-East to kill and maim civilians is the only way they can quell any agitations, meanwhile, the marauding Fulani/Boko Haram terrorists are left undefeated.

Yet again, last week, they killed unarmed Igbo men for demonstrating and singing for their freedom. Right now, it seems as if my country is on the brink of another Civil war.

An excerpt from BBC explaining The Biafra Civil War

Once I saw the prompt word ‘vol’ from Linda for today’s Stream of Consciousness, my mind got stuck on revolution.

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When Will It Be?…

When the children resume school in two weeks, my hustle and rat race triples! Phew! I am already sweating mentally at the thought because no matter how much I try to make things work in auto control, there are many days when the wheels of my auto shuffle go wonky.

When the Summer holiday was approaching, we anticipated endless weeks of fun and relaxation (for the children at least), now the weeks have flown by so fast leaving chubbier cheeked children and their mama behind to deal with the consequences of our happy indulgences. No complaints from me. I’ve learnt that when you eat the cake, be happy with the memory and quit worrying about the calories.

I haven’t made much progress with all my work-in-progress in the past weeks, but that’s okay. I refuse to feel guilty for spending time with my family – I’m being productive in other angles. When the time comes, I will continue with zest and hopefully enough inspiration to get my third/fourth books done.

Let me make a confession to you, there are days that I wake up and wonder to myself if I am truly a writer or a pretender to the throne of writing. Is there a time when I’ll feel that my writing is good enough beyond passable?

I know that most times, I’m especially hard on myself when I have floundering thoughts on how to break through the invisible walls of this chosen path of mine.

When will that breakthrough be? Does anyone know when?

Jacqueline

Thank you, Linda, for the prompt ‘when.’ I don’t know how you do it, but your prompts always play into what’s going on in my mind.

Conscious Participant – Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

As the deer pants for water so does my soul pant for peace in today’s world. Each day I wear my big girl pants and get on with living in the face of multiple challenges, sometimes, unfortunately, doubled due to the colour of my skin. One topic that I find unsavoury to talk about is race and that in 2017 I have to justify myself as a human and my right to life.

I was raised by loving, upright and hardworking folks and I aim to be a good representative of my parents. Back home, we didn’t bother with the difference of skin colour and all the rampant ugliness of hate that currently swirls around.

I didn’t know that I’m black. I only knew that I’m a valuable human being and a fellow occupant of the world and it was not until I ventured away from my home country to the US and now the UAE that the true depth of the human psyche shows up in ways I never anticipated. It has been a roller-coaster ride.

My spirit is heavy at the moment and I want to keep my thoughts contained. It’s just that I’m sad that I’m raising children in a world where a good part of their childhood is now spent teaching them that they are no different nor less valuable than others, teaching them how to react if by any chance they ever run into a policeman, teaching them to walk away when someone decides to be flippant and call them ugly words. Teaching them that they must be conscious participants in life because they can make a difference and maybe change will come in their time. Teaching them things children shouldn’t be saddled with. Teaching them………it’s simply exhausting.

Jacqueline

Now we’ve got a spanking new badge for SoCS. Well done to all the participants and thank you, Linda, for today’s prompt ‘pant.’

Don’t Keep Me Guessing…

Guessing can be cruel in relationships and I don’t like guessing games even if I sound like Scar in Lion King. This especially pertains to how someone feels.

I won’t leave you guessing how I feel. I say it as it is to me. Sometimes I guess I may be wrong, but I would rather bring it out in the open and we deal with it.

I don’t want you to expect me to guess how you feel and my assumption is that if you expect me to guess how you feel, that means you are either not sure of your feelings or simply don’t feel anything.

I’ve reached a stage in my life where I crave certainty and don’t want to keep second-guessing who, where what, why and every which way and I am working hard to give myself some of that certainty even though we all know that no one knows what tomorrow will bring but we can rightly guess that there will be a tomorrow and the Sun will shine.

Why I say it can be cruel in relationships to leave the other party constantly guessing where they stand, is because it leaves them open to making all the wrong assumptions. A lot of times perception is more powerful than reality and the mind has a way of extrapolating things beyond its right measure which can damage a relationship over time.

So, please leave the guess work at the door of our friendship. When I hurt your feelings let it out and give me a chance to apologize otherwise, guess what? Use the door and close it firmly behind you.

Jacqueline

Linda told me to guess. #SoCS

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The Low Down… #SoCS

Highlight of my week was bludgeoning people to check out my newly published book ‘Unbridled,’ and thinking of all the ways to get the ball rolling fast enough 😉

Do authors ever get to a point when they are no longer emotionally committed to their books that its performance doesn’t affect the highs and lows of their emotions? I am doubtful.

My emotional tank has been out of sync and swinging like a pendulum. One moment I feel anxious, the next I feel depleted, and the next I feel absolutely fine…

Sometimes, I must say that I think writing is a cursed gift, especially when I have several muses running around in my head all begging to be heard.

One needs to be mad enough to take the high road to earn a decent living as a writer, but the low down is this, the gift of writing is a gift that never stops giving and a gift worth having.

Either way, it can give you a euphoric high or bring you down low.

Jacqueline

Linda, thank you for the prompt ‘High & Low’, it’s made me ruminate a bit to have a clearer understanding of my current feelings.

Check out my latest book ‘Unbridled.’

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In Limbo – #SoCS

These days my lower limbs tend to hurt more and I guess it must be ageing coupled with my fibromyalgia pains. They creak like the limbs of an old door and I keep telling myself that I need to drop the excess kilos and give the poor limbs a break so that they will serve me for a long time.

With my weight in limbo – I’ve forgotten what it means to be svelte but I know that my former svelte self is tucked away somewhere in all this blubber if only I can find her.

Jacqueline

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Limb

 

 

Let me toot a bit of my own horn and mention here that my new poetry book ‘ Unbridled’ is now available on Amazon.

A little about Unbridled from a reader:

‘Unbridled is a collection of uncensored, bold poems. The author speaks without niceties. The soul of each poetry tugs at the depth of your being and the writing style makes it easy to identify with the emotions of the character in each poem. If you are looking for the unspoken truth that society would rather brush under the carpet, I recommend you read Unbridled.’ – Ekaete Augustine-Edet

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Unseen Ceilings… Stream of Consciousness Saturday

They say that the sky is the limit
well, that’s a half-truth
‘cos they will place unseen glass ceilings
to keep you tightly sealed in.

They’ll watch with keen interest
to see how you can push through,
to see if you’ve got the gumption
to put cracks in that ceiling

I say that putting cracks is not enough;
and I know it won’t be easy,
but if you take the sealing off your mind
you can bring that ceiling crashing down.

When I saw the prompt for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday ‘sealing/ceiling,’ many things came to my mind.

I wanted to write my thoughts about glass ceilings and its effect on women, but it would have become an essay, ‘cos I have a lot to say on this subject. I’ll, however, leave off delving into it right now and save it for the day that I’m ready for a war of sexes.

Jacqueline