Archives

Money on my mind…SoCS

No one likes money woes, sadly there’s hardly enough in circulation for most of us, which means that most of us struggle to make enough money to make our ends meet not to talk of having extra money to save.

Well, I’m speaking for myself. I hate financial strife, and it seems that of late especially, my budget is shoe-string thin and stretched that it literally takes Gods’ grace to get by.SoCS money

I love the freedom that having money buys and hate having to worry about funds for basic needs. Whether we like it or not – money is still a vehicle that helps us achieve a lot of our goals and having unpaid bills and indebtedness hanging around one’s neck like an albatross has a way of dampening one’s life and stifling creativity.

In recent times, I’ve had to get truly more creative with money management. I’ve had to try many tricks in the book on how to stretch a dirham to achieve the goal of three dirhams, on how to earn a bit extra and as a matter of fact, I have an unfinished post in my draft about the lessons not having money has taught me.

Maybe one day soon I’ll finish writing the post – it’s a lesson in progress – and down the line, I’ll share my lessons as well as my personalized tips with you. Though money is not everything, it definitely matters and if you don’t mind my saying so, yes, I love money or at least dreaming about having enough money and the freedom that it would bring.

Stream of consciousness Saturday – mon

Advertisements

So Far Have I Come…Stream of Consciousness

So far have I sojourned on this side of existence, yet most days I feel that I’m yet to begin. I feel as if the path before me is longer than the routes I have walked. As if the mountains to climb are higher with many more rivers to wade through.

So far have I come from the long-limbed, tall, awkward, bookwormish, scared, young unassuming ‘yes’ girl who internalized the pain and confusion of abuse, to the feisty, outspoken and confident mature woman that I’m today.

It’s two days to my birthday and I find that I’m always in an introspective mood several days to my birthday. I find myself reviewing things in my head and asking myself some cliched questions like ‘does life truly begin at 40?’

Well, my life’s calendar has hit 40 and heading way into the middle and these are my thoughts so far; it’s taken me 40+ years to decipher ‘who I am’ and I certainly like this human that I’m evolving into. It so happens that I didn’t find my true passion earlier than my 40’s and I oscillated from one career pursuit to the other. Now that I know what I know, I don’t have time to waste in the pursuit of things that steal my peace and waste my time.

With these years of experience, harsh reality has taught me that it’s possible to be viewed as overqualified and too old for certain job opportunities – my personal experience was a rude shock that took days to assimilate.

So far, I’ve discovered a sense of belonging to myself, to a God within me and to let go of what the world thinks and meeting its ever-changing barometers.

So far, I understand that I’m halfway to the finish line, that life and death begin together and that each day the more we are alive, the closer we are to death, thus each day has to count and my best life is now – not yesterday, not tomorrow.

For me, 40+ is just a precursor to better years of adventures to begin. So far, so good. How are you holding up so far?

Written for SoCS – so far

I Am Not Fine! Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Fine. What does it really mean to be fine? Can I truly from the depth of my spirit say that I’m fine? Or is it just a superficial response to ‘how are you,’ so that I don’t make anyone feel discomfited by my true response which I suppose would be ‘heck no, I feel all raggedy and angry a lot lately.’

I wouldn’t even know where to start with my venting but here goes ‘ I’m not fine with the fact that my body does not want to age like fine wine.’ I have deep aches and pains from Fibromyalgia that not only causes discomfort but makes me grumpy a lot of times when the pain flares up.

I’m not fine with the fact that at this juncture in life I’m still struggling hard to get my dream of being an accomplished writer and blogger kick-started.

I’m not fine that the basic needs of life are still a huge hustle and that if I don’t work as hard as I do, I would probably be one pay cheque to destitution.

I’m not fine with the fact that I want to go back to school to obtain a degree in Writing & Publishing but that aspiration is still a pipe dream due to lack of finance.

I’m not fine that I’m grumbly and I feel ashamed at the deep-seated feeling of dissatisfaction that has found its way to wedge in my soul in recent times.

I’m not fine with the status quo and not prepared to keep quiet about it. I believe that to find a solution to a situation, you’ve got to be willing to bring it out into the open air and look at it candidly. Phew! I feel better just letting some of these thoughts out.

La di la, in all honesty, life is a struggle and not fine and dandy for many of us but it’s up to us to take a good look at our issues and to make extra efforts to live a fine life.

SoCS prompt – Fine

His Words Don’t Mean Much…

HIS excuses are simply weak and empty. Using mental ill-health of the shooter as a crutch to hide behind getting the right Bills passed and doing the absolutely needful to see that the tragedy of mass murder is not a recurring decimal is the most important thing.

Mass killing should never become a norm. We should never become apathetic to such occurrences. With every incident and every loss, we lose a bit of our soul. One should never say ‘oh well‘ and shrug it off because it hasn’t happened to their loved one. At the rate these situation is degenerating you have to wonder, ‘who’s next?

When a person has been identified as a mentally ill patient, what is done to ensure that they receive the medical attention and help that they need? Is it now the right time to talk about the Elephant in the room or do we continue expressing ‘thoughts and prayers’ whilst waiting for the next barrage of killing from a sick him or her?

Words don’t mean much without action and if other Nations are able to keep these kinds of tragedies at bay then America and Her Congress owe her citizens a duty of safety and freedom of life.

SoCS – His/Her

Life REsolutions…Stream of Consciousness Saturday

I am resolved to stop having any highfalutin new year resolutions but to simply slam the door to an ending year, to open the cover of life each day in the new year and immerse myself fully in its pages.

Of course, I always set goals for myself and I have a backlog of goals that I would love to achieve and working out in my head which new projects to¬†focus on. I’m not ashamed to say that most of those goals are following me from 2017 to 2018. I used to go on a guilt-trip and whip myself hard when I set resolutions and failed to achieve them till I realized that I was doing myself more harm than good. Ever since I started my journey to a better me, my perspective shifted and I’m happier for it.

2017 has been an eventful year for most of us and I am glad that we survived it. ‘Survived’ is the key word here. Life is beautiful, but also unpredictable. I started 2017 on a high note and ended somewhat on ‘meh and bleh’ note, however, it doesn’t take away my enthusiasm that 2018 will be filled with an abundance of grace, blessings and mercy for us.

Here’s to better life (re)solutions and a joy-filled 2018.

On another note, I’ve totally missed writing my SoCS posts, time kept running away with me, but I hope that changes soon enough.

#SoCS Resolutions

Convolution of Tribes…

People crave for a revolution
‘cos they’ve been let down by malevolence
and forsaken by the benevolence
of convoluted governance

The journey through a revolution
most times leaves a devolved nation
riddled with woes and horrifying history
yet evolution is a must, ‘cos life is forever in a flux.

So, we march onto tomorrows evolution
leaving the frivolous tendencies of the past
hoping that in a nonvolatile manner
we guarantee a better future for our progeny.

I write this poem above for many Nations going through the pains of bad leadership and especially my home country Nigeria, which has been a boiling pot.

I am Nigerian by birth. From the Igbo tribe and I am Biafran. Over decades, the Igbo’s have been marginalized in the convoluted tribes of a Nation married by the Colonial Masters. This led to the Civil war that left millions dead – Chimamanda’s award-winning book, Half of The Yellow Sun is centered on this.

The Igbo’s have constantly sought a referendum and a chance to be heard. Constantly, the ruling government feels that deploying soldiers to the South-East to kill and maim civilians is the only way they can quell any agitations, meanwhile, the marauding Fulani/Boko Haram terrorists are left undefeated.

Yet again, last week, they killed unarmed Igbo men for demonstrating and singing for their freedom. Right now, it seems as if my country is on the brink of another Civil war.

An excerpt from BBC explaining The Biafra Civil War

Once I saw the prompt word ‘vol’ from Linda for today’s Stream of Consciousness, my mind got stuck on revolution.

When Will It Be?…

When the children resume school in two weeks, my hustle and rat race triples! Phew! I am already sweating mentally at the thought because no matter how much I try to make things work in auto control, there are many days when the wheels of my auto shuffle go wonky.

When the Summer holiday was approaching, we anticipated endless weeks of fun and relaxation (for the children at least), now the weeks have flown by so fast leaving chubbier cheeked children and their mama behind to deal with the consequences of our happy indulgences. No complaints from me. I’ve learnt that when you eat the cake, be happy with the memory and quit worrying about the calories.

I haven’t made much progress with all my work-in-progress in the past weeks, but that’s okay. I refuse to feel guilty for spending time with my family – I’m being productive in other angles. When the time comes, I will continue with zest and hopefully enough inspiration to get my third/fourth books done.

Let me make a confession to you, there are days that I wake up and wonder to myself if I am truly a writer or a pretender to the throne of writing. Is there a time when I’ll feel that my writing is good enough beyond passable?

I know that most times, I’m especially hard on myself when I have floundering thoughts on how to break through the invisible walls of this chosen path of mine.

When will that breakthrough be? Does anyone know when?

Jacqueline

Thank you, Linda, for the prompt ‘when.’ I don’t know how you do it, but your prompts always play into what’s going on in my mind.