Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

So Far Have I Come…Stream of Consciousness

jacquelineobyikocha

So far have I sojourned on this side of existence, yet most days I feel that I’m yet to begin. I feel as if the path before me is longer than the routes I have walked. As if the mountains to climb are higher with many more rivers to wade through.

So far have I come from the long-limbed, tall, awkward, bookwormish, scared, young unassuming ‘yes’ girl who internalized the pain and confusion of abuse, to the feisty, outspoken and confident mature woman that I’m today.

It’s two days to my birthday and I find that I’m always in an introspective mood several days to my birthday. I find myself reviewing things in my head and asking myself some cliched questions like ‘does life truly begin at 40?’

Well, my life’s calendar has hit 40 and heading way into the middle and these are my thoughts so far; it’s taken me 40+ years to decipher ‘who I am’ and I certainly like this human that I’m evolving into. It so happens that I didn’t find my true passion earlier than my 40’s and I oscillated from one career pursuit to the other. Now that I know what I know, I don’t have time to waste in the pursuit of things that steal my peace and waste my time.

With these years of experience, harsh reality has taught me that it’s possible to be viewed as overqualified and too old for certain job opportunities – my personal experience was a rude shock that took days to assimilate.

So far, I’ve discovered a sense of belonging to myself, to a God within me and to let go of what the world thinks and meeting its ever-changing barometers.

So far, I understand that I’m halfway to the finish line, that life and death begin together and that each day the more we are alive, the closer we are to death, thus each day has to count and my best life is now – not yesterday, not tomorrow.

For me, 40+ is just a precursor to better years of adventures to begin. So far, so good. How are you holding up so far?

Written for SoCS – so far

Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

27 thoughts on “So Far Have I Come…Stream of Consciousness”

  1. So far, I’m doing pretty good. I have learned that it’s OK to take time out for me – just ‘cos. That it’s OK to be different, and to believe different things to others. That it’s OK to speak my mind – respectfully. That’s it’s OK to say no. That it’s OK to say yes too. That it’s OK to be comfortable in my own skin…. Happy birthday, Jacquie. You are coming of age 🙂

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  3. I am 43, and like you I find as I get older I am more comfortable in my own skin, and less afraid to just be myself. I believe in myself and am not afraid to stand out, speak my thoughts and follow my dreams. And I sill have a lot of dreams and ambitions that I am putting into action. You strike me as a strong and eloquent woman, and I wish you a fulfilled second 40 years. Xxx

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  4. Lifes ups and down make us shine. As we learn and grow we become wise and sensible to maintain our peace. That is the beauty of life, should we wish to embrace it. Some just get older, some get older and wiser.

    Your post is as beautiful as ever. Heart warming. Happy mothers day.

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  5. Back when I turned 40 which was long ago and far away I remember my Aunt Helen saying that Life begins at 40. That was true because I had many accomplishments during my 40s. The best one was earning my BA in English Literature.

    That was a highlight of my life.

    Recently I turned 59. Next year when I turn 60 I will retire. I’m glad to be getting out of the rat race. Once I realized that I was getting No where climbing the so called corporate ladders I quit. As I approach 60 I’ve found that quitting, giving up and letting go makes life a whole lot easier. I’m not pursuing anything nor do I feel the need to be successful. I have very few expectations which lessens frustration.
    Once I railed against my disabilities but I’m learning to adapt and adjust. Life is and I can just Be.

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    1. Ha, ha! Anyone reading your comment would think that you are in your dotage and not just 59. I’m coming to understand what ‘life begins at 40’ when one understands who they really are, what they truly want out of life, how to channel their energy and to stop pursuing things that only bring frustration and angst.

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  6. Happy Birthday, Jacqueline (a little early). Chronological years don’t matter. It’s how one feels that matters. We’re products of our past experiences and how we’ve handled life thus far. I feel it takes most people a while to feel comfortable with themselves and their position in life at any given time.

    I remember turning 30 was a big event for me because I was going through some major changes. Turning 40 was fun because I feel it was an age of self-discovery. My 50’s and 60’s were dedicated to my career and the changes I had to endure. And now my 70’s – ah yes – me, myself and I. I don’t regret any of it.

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    1. Thank you, my dear lady Eugenia for your kind wishes. Truly the age is not the greatest issue, it’s how the person feels at each point in time. I’m focusing on living my best life now and not having any regrets. You should share your fountain of wisdom and secret to aging gracefully with us 😉

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  7. Happy birthday Jacqueline, it’s great to finally get a hold of who you are. At leaat , you inspire me to be me and reach for the stars. I love the fiesty you❤️🙂🎂

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..