Tag Archive | Parenting

The toughest job of my life…

image credit

Being a parent is about the hardest job ever! I am learning invaluable lessons every day about being a mother. From one stage of your children’s lives to the next, the dynamics keep changing and your job as a mother simply never ever stops.

Our job as mothers is not about fixing our children’s lives, but primarily to teach them how to live as best as they can, how to cope, how to rise again and again, ‘cos when they become adults, life’s problems don’t go away – they simply morph into adult problems and all we have taught them as parents will serve them well.

No matter how earnestly we might wish it differently, we can’t fix everything. Sometimes, we have to let our children figure things out for themselves. Sometimes, we have to stay by the sidelines, on our knees bowed in prayer, waiting for them to come to the other side.

 

 

Advertisements

Real Talk: What’s It Like Mothering A Big Family?

Photo

Every little girl’s dream to meet the person of their dreams, plan a spectacular wedding and start a family. Okay, maybe this theory is outdated now but it’s true that most women want a husband and kids. When dreams turn into reality, it can be incredibly scary. One day you’re a happily single woman with no cares in the world, and the next you’re a mom to five kids. How did that happen?!

Moms with large families hear the same questions all of the time. “God, your house must be crazy,” or “the laundry alone must be a fortune” are two classics. To put it into perspective for those that don’t know, here are the basics.

The Routine Never Stops

Have you heard of the motto “sleep, eat, rinse and repeat?” In many ways, it sums up being the head of a large family. Let’s get one thing straight – one day is never the same. However, there are core features which never go away and they keep you mega busy. Preparing meals take up a large chunk of the day, as does the school run and getting the kids to practice on time. Thankfully, the routine is merciful because you only realize you’re exhausted by the time your head hits the pillow.

Nor Does The Laughter

The incredible thing about the house being full is the noise. Sometimes, it’s a racket which never ends and it’s annoying as hell. But, usually, it’s a mixture of the things which put a smile on a mom’s face. The sound of laughter has to be a sound sent from God to keep us happy and motivated. Listening to the kids enjoying life is wonderful, and the parents get to join in too. It’s a cliché, but these moments are worth all of the bad ones and more.

Money Is Tight

With lots of hungry mouths to feed, there is a lot of pressure on the bank balance to provide. Of course, food isn’t the only expense. As the family grows, you will need everything from a new home to a bigger car. And, lenders such as Auto. Loan won’t give you a freebie. Yes, their rates are affordable but it is still another expense. As a result, money is often tight but not to the point where the mortgage won’t get paid. It’s more of a you-have-to pick-and-choose-your-moments type of thing. Oh, and saving is essential if you want a vacation or a family trip.

Holidays Are Interesting

Speaking of vacations, it would be remiss not to mention a family holiday. Like all trips with the loved ones, it’s a chaotic affair full of arguments and constant counting. Moms need eyes in the backs of their butts to make sure everyone is present and safe. Again, the scale of the vacation makes it bigger and better. It’s like your senses are dialed to ten and every little detail is funnier or more joyous.

Are you thinking about starting a family? Do you want a big one or are you going to keep it small?

This is a collaborative post

Remember to Breathe…Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Life has taught me that being of good cheer is a value not outwardly acquired, but one that is fostered from within. Why do I say this? Because day by day the vicissitudes of life seeks to weigh us down.

It takes resilience and constant mind-over-matter not to get submerged under the flood of misery and bad news which seems to prevail these days.

It takes uncommon grace to build an oasis of peace within you and to keep your chin up even when life batters you.

It takes wisdom to know that each day lived in misery is a day lost to misery and we must find moments of cheer in every given day no matter what.

These moments of cheer could be as little and as simple as finding solace in a quiet moment, a power nap, a smile, deep meditative breathing, regular reminders of gratitude, a glass of milk, sharing a hug…

On the other hand, school is out for Summer and the kids are ecstatic. I have mixed feelings ha, ha. I love that there is no school and we all get to unwind a bit, but I know that in a couple of days after mindless hours spent on games and what not, they will start singing the ‘I am bored song.’

I’ve got to put on my mama cheerleader cap on and think of cheap and cheerful ways to keep them positively and gainfully occupied without having to rob a bank.

With each passing school year, I watch my young ones’ gallop through their classes, growing older and inching day by day to the time they have to leave for college and fly the coop.

Gulp! The thought leaves butterflies of apprehension in the pit of my stomach. I hope that I’m equipping my chicks well enough to survive life’s onslaught out there without mama dogging every footstep that they take? Only tomorrow will tell.

For now, let’s enjoy every bit of our simmering Summer with copious sips of cold, freshly squeezed orange juice or watermelon. Cheers.

Jacqueline

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Cheers

We Planted The Seeds of Our Dreams…

Yes, we literally planted our dreams. Grabbing handfuls of the remaining Spring’s moments, I took the children to the park armed with our post-its and coloured pens. Each of us wrote out 5 dreams/aspiration of ours, folded the papers nicely, dug little holes around the tree and planted them amongst the grass. We had a few curious squirrels as observers and I guess they aren’t surprised ‘cos they’ve seen enough queer humans.

I told the children that though the paper might decay and become one with earth, the dreams have been sown into their hearts and that each day they must till the soil of their dreams, water and nurture them till they yield bountiful returns ‘cos every seedling has its season.

I also told them that sometimes our dreams and aspirations change and our harvest becomes different but that it’s okay ‘cos that’s the way life works at times. However, for each aspiration, they must plant it into the soil of their reality and not hold on to the seeds ‘cos the seeds alone will not yield abundance. ‘All great deeds begin as seeds.’ Months and years may pass before these seeds grow into full form and we see the glimpse of our harvest, but the birthing moment is as important as the harvest.

The land is green and the Earth is ripe for planting. Amidst the pressures of our modern lives, we tend to think that the conditions have to be right in order for us to start but time and time again my experience has shown that most times the simple act of starting is what makes the conditions right.

Love and Light Always,

Jacqueline

When The Sun Is Sinking Low…

Daddy always said ‘rise with the Sun so that you set the tone of your day,’ and throughout my growing up years, like clockwork, we rose way before the Sun.

Sunrise, Sunset, Days of our Lives, Our loved ones, Reflection, Life, Parenting, Love

Today the most important things I inherited from my dad are the ethics, the values, the wise words, the memories and the parenting influence that he had on my life.

Ever so often, a saying of his will echo in my mind and I feel suffused with the warmth of his presence albeit through his words.

As a child, I truly had no deep understanding of losing loved ones’ – not sure that I still do – and like the sunrise and sunsets of my young days, I felt that those that mattered most would always be there.

Well, I am deadly wrong. I think that life is so unfair to take away those we love and yearn for, on the other hand, I am deeply thankful that I had the opportunity to know such love.

Knowing what I know now, the glorious rise of each Sun, reminds me that I’m alive, that I must embrace the day and that there’s no time to waste in looking back at yesterday. By the time the sun sinks low, I’m reminded to leave every form of acrimony and as much as is humanly possible to end my day with a cleansed mind.

Below is a little tune from me. Excuse the croaky voice 😉

Oh I often sit and ponder
when the sun is sinking low

where shall yonder future find me
only God in heaven knows

shall I be amongst the living
shall I mingle with the free

wheresoever my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee

Oh the future lies before me
and I know not where I’ll be

wheresover my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee

©

Jacqueline

The Daily Post: Rise and Set

 

What My Mama Said To Me…16

 

Wisdom, Mother Knows Best, Proverbs, Mother and Child

Mama said to me, baby
never go borrowing
those things meant for others

or

be prepared
to live with the discomfort
that accompanies them.

©

Jacqueline

This piece is an excerpt from my work-in-progress.

You can read my book, Unbridled on Kindle Unlimited for free.

Amazon
Kindle

 

What My Mama Said To Me…15

Wisdom, Mother Knows Best, Proverbs, Mother and Child

Mama always said to me, baby,
always search inwards first,
as deeply as you can bear to dig in;

‘cos most times
the answers we scurry around to find
lies latent within us.

©

Jacqueline

This piece is an excerpt from my work-in-progress.

You can read my book, Unbridled on Kindle Unlimited for free.

Amazon
Kindle