Hope · Midnight motivation and musings

Midnight Motivations and Musings # 90

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Hurt! Are you hurting and have you let all the pain become defining factors in your life? How many of us have let hurt keep us down?

It’s natural for us to feel hurt or disappointed from failures and possibly withdraw into our shells, but the sad thing is that some take it that it’s the way their life is meant to be, thus they remain withdrawn or at best living their lives at half mast.

Remember that the entirety of your life is far bigger than one fall, so you must keep rising. Remember that odd circumstance could just be a detour that could always turn around.

Remember that those deliberate negative aims from others are just in a bid to keep you where they feel most comfortable ‘under their thumb.’

Ask yourself. Is that where you deserve to belong?

Next week, I’ll share a post on how to get past the pain and to live on purpose.

P.S. You are invited to our monthly blog party this weekend. It’s fun and you get to meet fantastic folks:-)


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Never leave me lonely

haunted by the dreams and memories

of yesteryears

when our fathers walked before us.

Discover Challenges · Personal · The Daily Post

Stumbling Forward…personal

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Obstacles. No single existence is devoid of hurdles to jump as they journey through their path in life and these encompasses all living things. The strength of a plant is predetermined from the state of its seed, thus even before we make our grand entry into this World, we possibly started our struggles right from the womb that bore us.

These hurdles come in different forms and in various shapes and sizes. Some knock us so hard on our backside, flat on our faces or at the cusp of a precipice where we are left grasping for release from the clenching holds that threatens to suffocate us to death.

Every human enjoys having a good sense of well-being and in the midst of these trials, a human can literally clutch at straws in the bid to stand upright. They either turn to the bottle, drugs or the Lord, seeking for strength.

Severe depression and suicide are the end result of a life that finds no glimmer of hope at the end of the turbulence that they are passing through. At that point in time, it seems as if the demons that they battle overwhelms and the only way to end the torment would be to stop living.

I have been in very deep pits. I have battled mental health, mental torture, and depression. There have been points in my life where the misery that permeated every pore of me was a living, breathing pain.

One of the instances, I would briefly share for now is when I lost my pre-term child. Please believe me when I say that the pain is beyond words. I carried this beautiful being inside me, but for some reason that I don’t know, I left the hospital after hours of horrendous labour with empty hands.

Fortunately, I have no head for drinks, no penny for drugs and never felt suicidal. I clung to the Cross and to writing. With every fibre in me, I held on and my husband held me.

God, family, friends, books and writing, have been my greatest support. When I am crossing one of my many rivers, I look up above, I look around me and I look forward. Life is a constant battlefield in our minds and except we personally buffer ourselves and wage an onslaught to find peace, we remain subjugated by these trials.

What I have learnt over the years is not to wait for the boat to get rocked, but to be mentally prepared to steer the boat as it rocks, so that I don’t capsize.

A couple of books that helped me when I struggled through these obstacles are, The battlefield of the mind, Your best life begins each morning, Purpose driven life, Women Of Faith Bible and lots more.

Writing my own books has been a challenge of doubt, of wondering if I am good enough. Of constantly questioning myself about who would want to be bothered to read my words when there are billions of books out there, but you know what, I said to myself, Jacqueline, you may not get it right, you may not be the best out there, but my girl, you are definitely more than good enough.

So that’s another hurdle jumped. Publishing my first poetry book is a positive affirmation that indeed, I might stumble in my quest but instead of the obstacles making me fall behind, they will cause me to stumble forward and give me some fulfilment.

Buying my book will go a long way to support me and clicking to purchase from any of those links will possibly earn me a commission of a few cents, but this is yet another curve in my journey. Finding ways to break through the obstacle and earn from the sweat of my brow.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Obstacles, The Discover Challenge

 

Fiction · Love · Short Stories

To Cry In The Rain….Friday Fiction In Five Sentences.

Girl, Sad, Crying, Raining, Rain Drops, Window, People

Anna-Gaelle’s desire for self-torture outweighed her sense of self-preservation as she sat in a quiet corner of the pews and watched the proceedings.

She braced herself and kept a stiff upper lip even as tears pooled at the back of her eyes and a lump formed in her throat.

She watched as they exchanged their vows, which sounded like a death knell to her heart.

The brush of their lips as they sealed the nuptials tugged at her in envy and sadness; sending the message that he could never be hers clearly across.

Blinded by tears that streamed unbidden down her face, she stepped out into the drizzle allowing her tears to mingle freely with the raindrops.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post

Concealing Concealer…

She dabbed on several layers of concealer,

In an attempt to hide her bruised cheek.

She covered her eyes with big, dark sunglasses,

So that no one would notice its pink-tinged state.

She wore turtle-necked and long-sleeved loose tops,

All bright and shiny,

To hide all the bumps and scrapes.

But what she failed to do,

Was to conceal the damage to her heart.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Conceal, The Daily Post

 

It’s important to note that no amount of hiding and disguising can protect or help an abused woman. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help before it becomes too late to do that.

Creative Writing · Family · Featured Blogs · Life · Poetry/Poems

A Thousand Deaths…

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A Thousand Deaths

I died a thousand times

When you said to me

‘It’s over now’

I carved out my heart

And handed it to you

Wrapped in bows and kisses

Expecting you to know

That to drop my heart

Would cause it to shatter

Fragmented in a million places

But drop it you did.

I died a thousand times

When you died in my arms.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The poem above came to me when I read Lily’s heart rending post I don’t know her in real time. I only read her blog now and again.

The broken pain of her heart reverberated in her words.

How do you condole a woman just bereaved of her loving husband?

Indeed, how do you condole any grieving heart that’s lost a loved one?

You cannot! You are simply there to listen, to offer a leaning support and to help as they find their way.

Every one grieves differently.

There’s no specific order or way to deal with this painful reality that life hands out.

Sometimes all we need is a quiet friend.

For this week, here are a few of the posts that I would like to share with you:

Lily’s Better Half

Hold On from Ronovan Writes.

To television or to tell a vision from Tunisia Jolyn.

Flaws can be adjusted from Joe Cosme.

Personally recommended author services and promotion sites from Smorgasbord.

ABC List from talking to my weight loss Counselor I must chip in here that you should watch out for her inspirations for victory over the scales.

Thank you good people.

My regards.

Challenges · Hope · Life · Love · Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Sweet Painful Contractions…Streams of Consciousness Saturday

Contraction! I am doubled over in visceral pain, trying to catch my breath. Now what happened to those breathing exercises, when you need them. I am huffing and puffing, though I don’t resemble the big bad Wolf in any way. SoCS badge 2015

All I feel is the pain that knife’s through me as if my insides would be turned out and I would be rendered to pieces.

It hits again. Another big contraction. In waves, without stopping. I feel battered and almost out of my mind.

This is the labour room and a true definition of the word labour. This is hard work in all it’s beauty, pain and glory. This is nature in one of it’s finest moments. Arrgh!

I want to rise from this infernal bed and run away as fast as I can. As though running away would leave the pain behind.

Nope! This is the real deal. No longer any imitation in the name of Braxton Hicks. He is ready to say ‘Hello Mama‘ and I can’t wait to see him as well, that is if these contractions don’t kill me first.

I try not to swear as a bear down. I wouldn’t like the first words my baby gets to hear from me to be; ‘Damn Contractions!’

Well that was fun to write. Linda thank you for taking me down memory lane with your prompt. I couldn’t think of anything else once I saw the word ‘contraction.’

Have a lovely weekend good people.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Devotions · Family · Hope · Musings · Personal story · The Daily Post

Was I Truly Guilty Or Is It My Mind?…

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There are moments in life that I look back on and wished that it could have turned out differently and this is one of those guilty moments: a letter to the young man that died.

However, with the realization that the past is where it belongs, one can only strive to a brighter present.

I have managed to get above and beyond these feelings by first and foremost, conscientiously working hard at forgiving myself for something that was beyond of my control.

At times, no amount of penance can get rid of the burden of sadness that weighs down on my mind when I ponder on some of the guilt-ridden episodes in my life but the amazing thing is that I have found that the more I reach up and look up to the sky, the less burdened I become.

Through Grace and Mercy which are not of my own will, but by succumbing to faith, hope, prayers, I can actually say, that I have the peace of The Lord which surpasses even my own understanding and that the haunting has ceased.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

”My Grace is sufficient for you; for my Power is made perfect in weakness: 2 Cor: 12:9.”

 

The Daily Post prompt The Guilt That Haunts Me.

Share a time when you were overcome with guilt. What were the circumstances? How did you overcome you guilt?

 
Devotions · Hope · Life · Poetry/Poems

Barbara

Her eyes

The pain stung her flesh,

But couldn’t pierce her soul!

Ha! She laughed in it’s face.

Her defiant laughter, a taunt in pains face.

Fiercely she fought,

Giving it her all,

Victorious she won,

Depriving pain, the gain of it all,

Though this flesh is gone for good,

She has exchanged it for a better one,

Her spirit lives on,

Her laughter shall echo in the winds,

Her unfading presence,

A cloak of comfort,

To those she left behind.

In memory of Barbara Beacham

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

inlinkz

As most of you know by now, Barbara Beacham, the lovely host of “Monday’s Finish the Story” flash fiction challenge, passed away from cancer, on Sunday, November 22.

Because she was a beacon for many of us, several people have asked that a flash fiction challenge be done in her honor and in her memory. This is a ‘special’ challenge and does not replace the normal weekly challenge which will be posted as normal.

Thank you Priceless Joy for presenting this humbling idea. May she rest well.

Image credit: Pixabay

Devotions · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life

A lovely lady…a shopping encounter

Strength & Courage Quotes 12

Whats on my mind you ask?

This evening, I went grocery shopping with the children and as we traipsed lazily down the aisle, a young, tall, slim, beautiful lady passed me by with a young child.

The first thing that I saw was her hair that was shaved to the scalp and she wore the skin-cut with pride.

I tried not to stare, but I knew. My spirit grew disquietened.

In my heart, I knew that this lovely soul is battling for her life.

We walked past her and continued our shopping but my mind couldn’t focus.

After a while, I backtracked several aisles down to find her. I felt a bit nervous that she might not appreciate my disturbing her peace, but a little voice in my heart said Go! So I continued.

I approached tentatively and out-rightly told her that I noticed her shaved scalp and she confirmed that she has breast cancer.

My heart went out to this total stranger. I have witnessed first hand the heart-rending havoc that cancer wreaks on sufferers.

We talked for a while, it turned out she has a chemo/radiation session tomorrow and of course she is trying to live life as normal as possible especially for her young child.

By the end of our discussion, ironically, she ended up comforting me. We shared a blessing and a hug.

I admire her strength and really wish her well. I wish her miracles. Cancer

I wish more Grace and strength to those who are suffering at this time.

May faith, peace and healing hands be your portion.

Kind regards.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Devotions · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

Let it go and your wings will soar to flight….

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The weight of unforgiveness lodged in the heart,
Is an albatross that hinders enjoyment of peace!

Its weight drags you down and keeps you low,
Making every other thing go so slow!

Forgiveness is not an easy feat,
When we revel in the bitterness of it all!

But do remember that holding on to that bitter vile,
Is simply holding on to dead waste and pile!

Holding on to that heavy weight,
Is giving heavy rent-free space in your head,
To business that has no business being there!

Even the weight of not forgiving yourself,
Bears hindrance to your future!

Never equate seeking justice to a crime,
and bearing the blunt weight of unforgiveness.

They are not the same!
Neither are you Lady Justice!

Unforgiveness takes a prisoner!
And that prisoner is you!

Do not equate trust and forgiveness,
For they are both not the same!

Trust lost by an erring party, may be regained if they work for it.
You can choose not to trust, or to trust with a pinch of salt.
It is called being cautious, wary, sensible or careful.

You cannot choose not to forgive,
Because this applies to you!

The act of unforgiveness is like poisonous lead!
In the spirit of your life, whose effects soils your waters!

This is a gift that you must give yourself!
It may not change your past but,
It will define your future!

Set your heart free!
Let that grudge go!

Set your heart free!
Let that hurt and pain go!

Set your heart free!
Let the healing begin!

Set yourself free!
Unlock that door!

I never said its easy!
But take a step, spread your wings and fly!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha