Blog · Self Help

Share Your Cookies With Me….Sharing Is Caring.

Sculpted from dark chocolate. Cool art :-)
Sculpted from dark chocolate. Cool art 🙂

Add your links in this space to be featured.

You can add multiple links of your different posts from time to time.

The only way we grow is by being proactive and the growth of a blog also depends on it’s fluidity.

I know so many blogs that I have met through this system of featuring.

Take advantage of opportunities given to grow yours.

Clink on this link to add.

Regards,

 © Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. Comments are disabled on this post. All comments or links can go to the link in red.

It’s the only way to keep it tidy and manageable.

Thank you for your understanding.

Devotions · Family · Gratitude · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Lifestyle · Poetry/Poems

Be They Little…

1455685840627[1]

Mummy, I want to let you know what you mean to me.

You are like an Angel in the sky

Even at night you shine as bright as a star.

I want you to know, I love you mummy.

Why do I do these gratitude challenges every week? So that I don’t forget to pay mind to the little things that I would have probably taken for granted in the bigger scheme of life’s rat race.

It’s done as an open confession of little positive affirmations in my life, both online and real time. Of course it can be done through private journals *I still do that*, but then an opportunity would be missed to inspire even one person to embrace the attitude of gratitude.

The private journal practice becomes easy to forget or set aside at times when life gets hectic and we continue to roll along until it is completely left unsaid.

This way, I am compelled to pause and appreciate these things openly. It’s like unwrapping a present.

The attitude of gratitude has expanded the coast of my mind and it keeps growing in very positive ways. I find that more and more, I dwell barely on negativity because it’s almost as if my mind is on training on how to swat negative thoughts.

Ordinarily, I would probably have taken for granted the small hands that helped me push my shopping cart, weigh my fruits and tick off my shopping list *making me buy one or two extra tidbits, with a grumble and secret delight.

How will I take for granted how you all supported my blog party over the weekend?

Try cooking a large array of dishes (in this case, blogging hard for days) and inviting people to eat and they don’t turn up. You will be sorely disappointed and upset.

The essence of Valentine might have become subsumed in the cheesy commercial aspect of things, but there is absolutely nothing cheesy about the extra doses of love and attention that I received from my family, from hand-made cards to shop bought rose and chocolate with their pocket money, coupled with lots of pampering 🙂

There are so many little things to be grateful and thankful for. What are the things that decorate your life, be they little or large?

You can join Colline’s  or Maria Jansson gratitude challenge platforms.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Love · Poetry Vlog · Poetry/Poems · VLogs · Weave that Dream

Thankfully, it was flowers instead of rotten tomatoes…What I got up to in January and now.

Yes! I started my YouTube VLog Channel this January. It was something that I wanted to start doing a while back, but kept pushing it back and getting jittery until sometime last week, my little reminder that I set for myself prodded me after I had written a short poem in a restaurant.

Of course, the voice of procrastination tried to convince me to put if off till the next day when I would feel more comfortable but the little voice of encouragement within me asked ‘What is the worst thing that can happen?’ What do you stand to gain? How would you feel if you don’t do it? Once I clarified these thoughts in my mind, I pressed the button.

One thing that I have learnt, is that there is never a perfect moment. It may never be perfect, but what I know for sure is that, you are the one that perfects your moments and days as much as you can. It didn’t turn out so badly and I got some decent feedback as well.

Why am I vlogging you may care to ask?

Asides from reading poetry, I want to use it as a platform to start working on my Inspiration and Motivational channel as a Lifestyle coach. However, it’s one day at a time and in stages. There are so many learning curves and things to be done.

Here is my second Vlog below, if you would like to listen and this is the link for the previous one just in case you missed it.

JAZZ

All that jazz.
I listen to the tinkles of the water
The thrums of the guitar
And the deep rhythm of the bass

No words said
You stare me in the eyes

The mirrored look
Caught within your pupils
Reverberates all the Love
Trapped inside

Aching to flow out
A syllable at a time.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Health · Life · Social Issues

Sickle Cell Anaemia…

1453525034497[1]

When I was a very young girl, my bosom childhood friend Nnenna * God rest her soul* had sickle cell.

In my mind I still recall day’s of visiting her with a bunch of other friends and watching as she wept in throes of pain.

We would rub and massage her muscles to help, try to make her laugh and a lot of times I would go home feeling burdened with questions and worry.

She was a very beautiful, bright, talented young lady and equally full of life. She never liked being segregated or made to feel different and now that I dwell a bit on these memories, I can’t even fathom how big a burden she bore.

Knowing a family that lived a few streets away from our house, lose their offspring one after the other from Sickle cell disease, definitely cemented the indelible marks that SCD made on my mind.

Today, thankfully, with modern science, life expectancy of sufferers is a bit longer than what it used to be, nonetheless, it is still a traumatizing disease.

To know a bit more about SCD, you can click on this link Sickle Cell Disease.

Personally, I love to support groups that are out there, selflessly seeking to improve the standard of living of human life.

Most times, when we hear the word support, we balk at the idea because we automatically think of big bucks.

Support can come in so many forms that may not involve parting with any form of money.

Support can be the giving of your time and helping hands.

Support can be by lending your voice to a worthy cause.

Support can equally be by just being there for someone who you know going through a rough patch. Knowing that you are there counts for a whole lot.

‘Remember that though you may not be there for everyone, you can be there for someone.’

Regards,

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story

Harvesting Generosity…personal

Kindness

In these season of glad tidings, may we find it in the generosity of our hearts to extend our kindness to others who least expect it from us.

A lot of times, we may have far more than we really need to eat and drink, while so many people are suffering and hungry.

If we share the little that we have with someone who doesn’t have, it might even be better than we think.

It may not be our duty to give to these people, but we should also remember that no one wants to be in a beggaring position and that an act of kindness no matter how small, is never a wasted effort.

I will crave your indulgence in sharing a personal story. I hesitate, because in my frame of mind, good deeds done towards others are between me, the recipient and God.

These gestures are not things that I wish to publicize, but I just want to share one of the times when I have reaped unprecedented fruits which I believe were the result of kindness.

Several years ago in Lagos, I had a catering outfit which had started out small just to test the waters.

I pursued and got contracts to service some corporate bodies with hot meals, finger foods etc, and I would always join my staff to attend to these customers, sharing a word, smiles and general chit-chat.

At the end of each day that we worked, left over food was shared to those who could not afford to buy these meals. Many of them were total strangers on the streets who were destitute.

This went on consistently for a while and though one or two people thought that it was being wasteful (because they felt that we could still serve some of the leftover the following day) but I never saw it that way and as a matter of principle, we shared everything to the last spoon.

I recall that on one of the days, a poor man came up to my vehicle to thank us for all the food that he had been receiving and he was almost in tears.

I was a bit embarrassed to see a grown man scrounging for food and I told him that it was not a problem and that so long as I was catering in the vicinity, we would give him something to eat.

Anyway to cut a long story short, we continued giving as much as we could.

Not too long after, my small scale business exploded.

It became inundated with so much demand that we could hardly keep up and I had to turn down some jobs at the onset of the deluge.

I had contracts crawling out of the woodwork’s and falling all over my company, that the only way to go was to expand fast in other to manage the demand.

I quickly employed more hands, bought a second delivery bus, and within the space of four months thereafter, I saw myself entertaining the idea of building my own structure which had not been in my plan because the rented space that I was using got too small.

Nothing had prepared me for such breakthrough.

In a quick wave, I had realized sufficient capital to build and equip a modern medium-scaled bakery and a kitchen.

This project ran into millions of Naira (Nigerian currency) without a single loan from anybody, but gains realized from the overflow of business that rained on me.

Some might call it coincidence and hard work, but I called it divine intervention. I called it spiritual uplifting. I called it OPEN HEAVENS!

Whatever part of the World you might be in; from London to Tokyo, US to Zimbabwe, Japan to Ottawa, Venezuela to Nigeria, Cambodia to Paris, Russia to the moon, these principles remain the same!

I am not advising that your giving should be tied with expecting something in return, but that the law of nature works that way.

Gratitude makes what we have enough and more, while generosity opens up the store house of harvest for us.

The wise words of the Bible says that, ”when you open your hands to give, you equally open your hands to receive.”

”We must give in other to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest” – Orison Swett Marden.

”Generosity consists not of the sum given, but the manner in which it is bestowed” –  Mahatma Gandhi

”We can do no great things, only small things with great love” –  Mother Theresa

Thank you izzyasabee for your invitation to participate in the 3 quote challenge.

I would like to invite these 3 lovely bloggers to participate in the 3 quote challenge.

Edwina Episodes

Folake

Sonnie blogs

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Life · Love · Personal story · Poetry/Poems · Writing

Ude-Aku…The tale of the wrinkled hands

Grandma dancing on the occasion of my traditional/customary marriage.
Grandma dancing on the occasion of my traditional/customary marriage.

I held your frail wrinkled hands in mine,
They were much smaller!
Now! You were old!
The skin of your hands had waxed, waned and tautened over decades;
Toughened by ages of farming and weeding, from lifting innumerable hot clay pots from the burning firewood, from bathing babies; lots and lots of babies.

I caressed them lightly; noting the veins that stood out more prominently; noting the traditionally placed tattoos and the story behind the tattoos;
Beautiful age worn hands that had nourished,
Beautiful wrinkled bejeweled fingers that lightly applied ”Ude-Aku” on my scalp whilst shaping my unruly hair into a bouffant style.

Those fingers were my preferred hair stylist because, you did not pull it tight like Mama Nkechi used to do whilst making the periwinkle hair-do for me.
Beautiful hands that left my little bum smarting from a well-deserved smack after a misbehaviour.

I beheld your face with my eyes. Your beautiful dark skinned face;
I looked! Looking and looking at every lovely lined feature of your face.
Knowing that it might probably be the last time that my eyes would behold your skin.
Your eyes had seen the Civil war, your eyes had looked life in the face, it was a map of times past, etched with love and pain, with joy and laughter, with fear and worry, with seeing things that I can barely imagine…
Your lovely wrinkled face, etched with very fine lines and tiny spots that had stolen in and taken bold space,
Your crown of whitened hair held in a little bun
Everything had grown smaller!
Your skin had shrunk and your capacious bosom which used to cradle my hair, had bowed to the caprices of gravity
You had aged!
I saw it coming! I knew that it would happen!
But I wasn’t prepared!
The pain still cut me deep!
I wasn’t prepared to stop looking at your age-wizened face!
And when you left, you left with the name!
Grandma, nobody ever calls me Nnedim or Ngozika again!
They were your special bequests to me.
You left with your skin all shriveled by death
And you took the lovely smell of Okwuma and Ude-Aku!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Quick Glossary For Words in Native Igbo:

Nkechi:  A native Igbo name shortened from Nkechinyere which means “The one that God gave.”

Ngozikaego: A native Igbo name which means ”Blessings are far better than money” derivatives of the names are Ngozi, Ngozika, Kaego, Ego

Nnedim: meaning ”My husbands mother” this infers to the belief in reincarnation and grandma believed that I was her mother-in-law reincarnated..

Okwuma: Native ointment made from Shea Butter.

Ude-Aku: Local body cream made from oil extracted from roasted palm kernels.

In fulfillment of Writing 201 – Poetry Day 3: Skin. Prose Poem. Internal Rhyme.

Some of the hairstyles back then.
Some of the hairstyles back then.