Family · Poetry/Poems

This Circle of Life…Personal


Tears leak from my eyes

as I watch your broken heart bleed

from the news that we all dread to receive

that a beloved one has passed on


I have no words enough to offer

that will mend the deep ache that you suffer

but I know that with time its sharpness will dull

with time you will smile again through the tears


In this circle of life, we dance in

never knowing whose turn to return it might be

but memories we gather of each other

to remind us when one is no longer there


My dearest Father-in-law just passed on, my husband aches.

I’m sharply reminded that our time apportioned to sojourn here is short. We must not tarry in seeking our purpose, finding peace, making beautiful memories and in living a life that would leave wonderful, indelible marks in the hearts of those who we love.

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. Thomas Campbell

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My Thinking Corner · Philosophy of Life

This Season…My Thinking Corner


This is my favourite season of the year and yes it’s because it’s Christmas. It is not just a season of joy, a time to be with our loved ones’, to give and possibly receive, but also a time that we should not forget the reason for the season.

We shouldn’t forget that not everyone around us is blessed with a circle of family and friends to share and spend the season with, therefore, let us reach out to those who are less unfortunate in our midst and spread the cheer and joy with them. Let us be messengers of love and bear the true fruits of brotherhood.

It’s a blessing to bless others and not just to sit on the sidelines watching others give of themselves. There’s always a little way to be a blessing to others.

Sometimes, I feel that the over commercialized aspect of the season has desensitized many people to the fact the Christmas is not just a time to make merry and be jolly. In the midst of making merry, may we not forget the Christ in Christmas.

May the abiding Grace and Peace of God be with you and yours.

Here’s a little tune I played on my keyboard for you.

Whatsoever you do

To the least of my brothers

that you do unto me

When I was hungry you gave me to eat

when I was thirsty you gave me to drink

now enter in to the home of my father.

Midnight motivation and musings

Midnight Motivation and Musings 83


In today’s World where the spirit of entitlement seems to have pervaded the fabric of society, we tend to find people are becoming more and more self-centred in their needs.

Yet, the selfish tendencies haven’t made anyone happier.

As a matter of fact, with all the concerted and misunderstood love of self, ‘my way or no way,’ society is by far, more ill and miserable than ever.

The concept of self-love now translates into whatever makes someone happy, it doesn’t matter who gets run over.

Sometimes, you wonder what happened to courtesy, hard work, self-respect, neighbourliness and regards for others.

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Never leave me lonely on these shores

Where no one knows me

Where I stare at strange forms

Trying to find you somewhere there in their midst.

Family · Personal · Photographs

To my child of promise…


Your legs are stretching longer

each day extra inches are added

as you gallop out of cradle-hood

into the years of boyhood.

I marvel at the speed of time

so fast, you’ve already turned nine

tears prick my eyes in wistful thoughts

as I go back through the years.

Through the years of your babyhood

holding on to mama’s hands

you are always close

hugging and dogging her footsteps.

You, my greatest cheerleader

my fiercely protective one

my loving support

my son and my friend.

You are always quick to notice my looks

never failing to pay heartwarming compliments

“you look beautiful mama, the bestest mother ever,                                                                                      

 I love you to the moon and back always,” and indeed you do.

My Chiemerigo – The Lord has won                                                                                                                

you are a beautiful child through and through

a generous, kind soul and considerate one

your earnest eyes are eager to help me

and quick to forgive and apologize

My child of promise

you’ve promised me everything under the Sun

your words “I’ll always take care of you, mama,” which are older than your days, never fails to

make my heart expand in love and                                                                                                                  

makes me wonder at the wisdom bestowed to such a young one

May the arching rainbows of your life remain vivid and bright

may the Lord’s lamp remain at your feet and direct your steps.

His Grace and Mercy shall never depart from you

as you journey through life, the Lord will uphold you.

He will surround you and will remain your right hand.

To my Child of Promise,

your days are blessed.                                                                                                                                        

Today as you turn nine, I give God all the glory.

Happy birthday my boy.

I love you to the moon and back, if not further.

Love, Mama


Animals · Photographs · The Daily Post

Some Doggy Admiration…

I’ll take the admiration lenses off humans and turn it to the dogs. In this instance, it’s literally gone to the dogs.

Dogs are such intelligent, warm, loving and loyal creatures. They make good friends and listeners too.

I could write a long story, but I’ll just leave a few of my dog-watching pictures where two dogs are admiring each other 🙂

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© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Admiration, The Daily Post Photo Prompt


Lifestyle · Midnight motivation and musings · Self Help

Midnight Motivations and Musings # 71


When we take a moment to think of the fact that the days of our lives are truly short, we should also take the moment to reflect on how we can live a more purposeful life.

If you are blessed to get to 90 years, that’s just 32,850 days. Viewed from the point of days, it’s not that long so each day spent counts.

Each day’s decision to live happy, to live well, to live and make positive impacts no matter how small, to live unselfishly matters….

It is these decisions that should shape our lives and not the decisions that we failed to make.

Live, Love, Be Happy!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story · Tips for the day

I came, I live, I laugh, I love….What about You?

love-laughter-and-friendshipNo one likes to dwell on thoughts of death, but the grim reaper is a visitor that likes to call uninvited. He doesn’t ring any door bells when he arrives otherwise he will not meet anyone at home.

So like a thief in the dead of the night, he slinks in!

Since death is an inevitable fact of life that can happen at any time, should it matter to us that our sojourn here on mother earth is remarkable?

Should it not matter to us that we live our lives in such a way that when we kick our individual buckets we would have left a mark that warms the heart of those who remember us and not a shudder of dread with a muttered “good riddance to bad rubbish?”

For all that it is worth, the part of leaving heartwarming thoughts behind appeals to me far better than being a grimace on someone’s face.

If I am well off enough to leave a few heirlooms to loved ones here and there, that would be very nice and dandy, but I think the most important things that I would like to be remembered for are encapsulated in these simple words:

”I came, I lived, I laughed and I loved.”

I came, because I am presently here and was purposefully brought into existence.

I am no mistake (no child is a mistake no matter the circumstance of birth).

I lived.
By being myself
By doing what I love…writing, reading, learning, dancing, talking, drawing, eating and so on…
Living a purpose driven life.
By spending time with my loved ones.
Helping others and sharing with others as much as I can.
By being thankful.
By keeping healthy and exercising.
By mentoring and life coaching both for others and for my own benefit.
By keeping stress at a minimal level.
By dumping the negative thinking.
By forgiving and moving on.
By appreciating nature.

I laughed.

Growing a sense of humour even self-deprecatory humour is healthy.
Laughter is a healer. It is music and fireworks to the soul. Life is so much better with laughter and I want a life enriched with laughter.

I loved.

I would love as much as my heart can expand and the heart can expand so, so much when we give it the chance to do so.

I want to live so that when I die, even the undertaker would be sorry that I am gone.

Not a particularly cheery topic right? However, when you dwell on it, it actually helps to streamline ones purpose and priorities.

So do tell, what part would you like to be remembered for? Heartwarming or Grimacing?

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?


Family · Life · Love · Personal story · Poetry/Poems · Writing

Ude-Aku…The tale of the wrinkled hands

Grandma dancing on the occasion of my traditional/customary marriage.
Grandma dancing on the occasion of my traditional/customary marriage.

I held your frail wrinkled hands in mine,
They were much smaller!
Now! You were old!
The skin of your hands had waxed, waned and tautened over decades;
Toughened by ages of farming and weeding, from lifting innumerable hot clay pots from the burning firewood, from bathing babies; lots and lots of babies.

I caressed them lightly; noting the veins that stood out more prominently; noting the traditionally placed tattoos and the story behind the tattoos;
Beautiful age worn hands that had nourished,
Beautiful wrinkled bejeweled fingers that lightly applied ”Ude-Aku” on my scalp whilst shaping my unruly hair into a bouffant style.

Those fingers were my preferred hair stylist because, you did not pull it tight like Mama Nkechi used to do whilst making the periwinkle hair-do for me.
Beautiful hands that left my little bum smarting from a well-deserved smack after a misbehaviour.

I beheld your face with my eyes. Your beautiful dark skinned face;
I looked! Looking and looking at every lovely lined feature of your face.
Knowing that it might probably be the last time that my eyes would behold your skin.
Your eyes had seen the Civil war, your eyes had looked life in the face, it was a map of times past, etched with love and pain, with joy and laughter, with fear and worry, with seeing things that I can barely imagine…
Your lovely wrinkled face, etched with very fine lines and tiny spots that had stolen in and taken bold space,
Your crown of whitened hair held in a little bun
Everything had grown smaller!
Your skin had shrunk and your capacious bosom which used to cradle my hair, had bowed to the caprices of gravity
You had aged!
I saw it coming! I knew that it would happen!
But I wasn’t prepared!
The pain still cut me deep!
I wasn’t prepared to stop looking at your age-wizened face!
And when you left, you left with the name!
Grandma, nobody ever calls me Nnedim or Ngozika again!
They were your special bequests to me.
You left with your skin all shriveled by death
And you took the lovely smell of Okwuma and Ude-Aku!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Quick Glossary For Words in Native Igbo:

Nkechi:  A native Igbo name shortened from Nkechinyere which means “The one that God gave.”

Ngozikaego: A native Igbo name which means ”Blessings are far better than money” derivatives of the names are Ngozi, Ngozika, Kaego, Ego

Nnedim: meaning ”My husbands mother” this infers to the belief in reincarnation and grandma believed that I was her mother-in-law reincarnated..

Okwuma: Native ointment made from Shea Butter.

Ude-Aku: Local body cream made from oil extracted from roasted palm kernels.

In fulfillment of Writing 201 – Poetry Day 3: Skin. Prose Poem. Internal Rhyme.

Some of the hairstyles back then.
Some of the hairstyles back then.
Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Musings

Indeed love can grow; for my car at least..


Bonding is really a question of giving time to someone or something and allowing their finer qualities to get to you.

Even a disagreeable person has someone who finds him/her agreeable after a while of spending time together.

Like we say back home: Monkey no fine, but him mama like am (no matter how ugly the monkey is, his mother is quite enthused with him).

In my case, the love and bonding is between my car and I.

It’s not that my SUV is ugly. No! Far from it. But as the name depicts, it is still a Sport Utility Van. Made to accommodate my brood and I, plus the excessive grocery bags.

In my head, I am a classy diva and when my husband wanted to get me a new car, I wanted a snazzy red corvette to paint the town in lovely colors. I could see myself cruising down Beltway 8 or i10 with my sun roof down and a scarf carelessly slung round my neck and my kinky hair (not flowing like the locks of a Caucasian damsel) bouncing, maybe just a little. I would wear an over-sized pair of dark sunglasses and a whole lot of attitude. I went to sleep for several nights with a happy smile on my face 🙂

I craftily dropped hints all over the place for my Corvette desire to dear husband of mine, but he looked at me with that expression of ” where did you fall and hit your head?” promptly explaining to me, that as a matronly mama, I should have an accommodating car, so that the children can have enough room and to leave the snazzy bits for retirement or when they have all gone off to College/University. Reluctantly throwing my sunroof cruising thoughts out of the window, I grudgingly acquiesced.

We went ahead and purchased my sedate looking (white for that matter) SUV, and our romance began. Every morning, I would start her (her name is Gloria) and she will respond with a perfect hum. Gloria, has been very faithful and loving these past months. No day did she nag or grumble. No day did she fail to work as expected. She was good in all weather, rain or shine. As I am about to trade Gloria in, I am jolted with the realization, that indeed, I have come to love my dependable SUV, white color and all and that I would miss her. I could not paint the town the colors that I wanted, but she did get me around as often as I needed.

Not that I have forgotten my snazzy Corvette, there’s still a whole lot of time for that 😉

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha