The toughest job of my life…

image credit

Being a parent is about the hardest job ever! I am learning invaluable lessons every day about being a mother. From one stage of your children’s lives to the next, the dynamics keep changing and your job as a mother simply never ever stops.

Our job as mothers is not about fixing our children’s lives, but primarily to teach them how to live as best as they can, how to cope, how to rise again and again, ‘cos when they become adults, life’s problems don’t go away – they simply morph into adult problems and all we have taught them as parents will serve them well.

No matter how earnestly we might wish it differently, we can’t fix everything. Sometimes, we have to let our children figure things out for themselves. Sometimes, we have to stay by the sidelines, on our knees bowed in prayer, waiting for them to come to the other side.



Life · Lifestyle

Making Important Decisions About The Future

We all get to a certain point in our lives where big decisions need to be made. You need to start thinking about the future, about the next steps you want to take and the actions in which you want from your life. But, what would you class as an important decision for your life? What would impact your life the most? I wanted to share with you some of the scenarios that would be classed as an important decision, perhaps you can relate to some of them yourself.

Happiness, Future Decisions, Lifestyle,

Image source

Deciding on your career

A big decision to make when it comes to your future is to decide on your career. Many people make this decision fresh out of school and it can actually be quite a difficult one to make. After all, how do we know what we might want to do for the rest of our lives at that age? Thankfully, people make this decision many times over, and career changes are often on the cards and can sometimes suit you better later on in life. If a career change is on the cards for you, don’t worry too much, just go with what your gut is telling you.

Getting engaged

Getting engaged is an exciting time for anyone. It is a great way to show commitment to the one you love, and sharing your engagement rings can be a great way to feel united as one. Planning a wedding, on the other hand, can be tricky, but it certainly can be a memorable experience. The engagement itself can be a big decision though, it might be something that takes you by surprise or something that you have planned.

Getting married

Which brings me nicely on to my next point the decision to actually get married. Getting engaged doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to get married. You can actually stay engaged. But getting married is a big decision for the future, you need to decide if you do it and how you go about it. Certainly, this is a lot to think about.

Having a baby

Often when you have been with someone for a while, or have gotten married the questions about starting a family starts to become a regular occurrence. However, it is actually a big decision to make in terms of the future, so it is something that you must think about. As well as deciding you want to, in many cases, it doesn’t always happen straight away for some, and it certainly can be an a optional rollercoaster to embark on.

Jumping on the property ladder

Finally, one less major life change, but an important decision anyway is to consider getting on the property ladder. It can be a great way to set yourself up financially for the future, as property tends to increase in value over time. Many people do this to ensure that they have some form of stability in their retirement years.

I hope that this helps you to become more aware of some of the big life decisions you need to make.

This is a collaborative post.
Featured Blogs

Posts That Caught My Interest – 2

I recognize that a lot of bloggers – except few – bother to follow a link to read reblogs and now and again, I stumble on posts that I find myself nodding along in agreement as I read them and wish to share.

I offer these few. I found sense, laughter, reflection and inspiration. Do take a peek. I am disabling the comment button to encourage you to visit the blog sites.Image result for images of sharing

Healing properties of lemon

From homeless to Harvard graduate

Time for us all to bloom

Forgetting to be grateful

Crippling effect of poverty

Thank you for stopping by and do have a great weekend.


Writer's Quote Wednesday

The Resilience of The Broom – Writers Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge.

Image result for images of Nigerian broomsticks

The strength of the broom lies not in the power of a single frond but in the resilience of its united fronds. African proverb

Like most families my growing up years consisted of squabbling with my siblings over things that I can’t even recall anymore, but the saying above is one of those proverbs that I’ll never forget because my parents used proverbs like that one to teach us life’s lessons.

‘Igwe bu ike! This is an Ibo word that means ‘there’s strength in numbers.’ My mother will tell us that while demonstrating with a broom.

She would give each of us a broomstick and instruct us to go ahead and break it. With barely much strength applied, the broomstick would snap. Then she would give us the entire broom to break and no matter how much you tried, that broom would never break. It might bend, but not break.

She used this example to emphasize to us that we had to stand together as one family because when we stand together as a unit that’s the only way we would withstand adversity and over the years of my life, we have individually and collectively gone through the storm as a family, but having each other to lean on has made passing through the eye of the storm easier.

Our unity didn’t mean that we lost our individuality, but there’s a code of oneness that understands and tolerates diversity.

This saying is not just for families, but to any group that man forms because we are social beings.

Unity brings strength
and creates harmony.

Unity promotes prosperity
and fosters love.

Unity covers the weakness of one
and infuses him with support.

When we are united
we can withstand.

When our unity is broken down
we will crumble.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Unity – #WQWWC

out-of-the-silent-breath 2

Midnight motivation and musings · Self Help

Midnight Motivations and Musings 77


Sometimes bad experiences hold us captive more than we even know.

They subtly dictate and become the benchmark for our future exploits and endeavours, that we inadvertently shortchange our lives with experiences which are in the past.

As life is a culmination of experiences, we shouldn’t allow the mishaps of years gone by steal into our hope for the future, that’s simply the way the known and unknown enemy operates by reminding you of all the areas in your life where you failed so that you shouldn’t expect to succeed.

Even if you failed in so many things, there’s a chance that you’ll succeed in this one, if only you stay the course and stop looking at that old syllabus that didn’t quite work.


Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha’s poems portray images that stare us right in the face. Images of love, joy, death, pain, challenges, violation, and freedom. She writes in a language that’s rich in imagery, earthy, honest, vulnerable, yet full of the promise of hope, of loving and of Grace. A collection of light and dark soulful prose.

Midnight motivation and musings · Self Help

Midnight Motivations and Musings # 57…


We make plans about all that we want in life, but life makes its plans for us as well.

We have a good idea of the structure of how we want it to turn out, but something derails us along the way.

At times, these curve balls actually end up helping to straighten and put us on the right path.

It all depends on how we respond to the challenges and detours that we are offered.

Do we choose to see every strike and fall with a jaundiced eye?

Such an approach bodes chances that we could become embittered and probably lose sight of the little openings and apertures that these lessons offer.

We should focus on other possible alternatives that may be available to us.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Personal story · This Is My Life

I Am Still Standing…personal story.

Wisdom chose to come to me through my journey. I didn’t come by wisdom per chance. We all have our individual messages in our stories and each day, it unfolds itself for those who choose to see.1453177669459[1]

What gives me the reason to believe at the end of the day is so simple ‘that my life has a purpose.’

My Faith is not magic, but a conscious choice to trust God even when I am confused, depressed and cannot make sense of it all.

A lot of times, I have faced adversities, but I always ask myself? What do I turn to in these difficult times? What should I do, when it seems like everything is threatening to cave in?

I simply stand in prayer and walk through the pain. I cry through the pain and this is where my strength comes from. It is not that by persevering I don’t ever doubt or feel exhausted. I do feel all these things, but what I know for sure and from my experience is that there is no strength without adversities and sometimes a lot of pain as well.

Those painful experiences that chase to break you, often times builds your courage and determination if only you persevere.

It’s Gods mercy that kept me through these adversities that would have kept me under or had me turn to negative alternative means to get through them.

It’s Gods mercy that sustained me from dying at the hands of molesters who nearly strangled me.

It was God’s mercy that preserved my life through a fatal road accident that took the life of another.

It’s God’s mercy that rescued me from the Snare of the Fowler in the name of armed robbers, not once but thrice in Lagos.

It’s God’s mercy that kept my mind sane through series of miscarriages and a still birth of my child.

I kept it all in. I pretended to be okay. I trudged on. I smiled, but I bled inside and I wore a brave face outside.

Some of these stories I hesitate to share in depth because I don’t seek for pity and it is difficult to talk through them.

There are days that I look back and wonder. There are days that anger or depression wants to light up inside me for some of these things, but I refuse to go down that rabbits hole. I stand.

Each day Grace meets me and tells me that it’s okay.

Each day Hope tells me not to give up.

Each day my Faith says ‘do not despair’ ‘That what is in front is greater than the one behind.’

Some have asked me before, how I can believe, how I can trust and have faith in a God who allows certain things to happen to some people?

My answer to them is ‘how can I not, when I am a living testimony of Grace and Mercy.’ Know this and know it well, the enemy will always attack us through any means possible, which is why he is called The Enemy. What matters is how we walk through that fire.

Each day at the end of it all, I know that without Faith, Mercy, Hope, Grace, Favour, Trust and Redemption, the story of my life’s journey might have ended long before now.

There is an undefinable reason why it’s called Amazing Grace and each day, I hold out my cup for a portion of grace which is sufficient unto my day.

It’s called amazing grace because through the wounds and the hurt, through the broken spirit and the flayed mind, I am here and I am still standing.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Reason To Believe.

In Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen sings, “At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe.” What’s your reason to believe?

Family · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Personal story

Lifes Lessons… a personal story

Parents and childrenEvery state of our being as a human is formed by lessons learnt.

The impact of life’s lessons taught a young mind especially through their parents and primary educators are very profound and these teachings can be compared to the art of weaving a basket, where, if the weaver does a careless job, everything unravels and must be started again.

However, if the weaver pays attention and does a careful job, their end product is a fine basket.

In the case of children, sometimes the shoddy, careless job of upbringing can leave negative indelible marks that takes ages to obliterate, if ever at all.

It is only now as a full grown mother of my own children, that I begin to understand and appreciate the numerous lessons that my parents painstakingly tried to drum home into me and I cannot thank them enough for caring about how I turned out as a human being.

Over the years and so many times in a day, an idiom or parable that my late dad said would simply repeat itself in my head.

Sometimes in such an eerie manner that I would feel as if he was right there with me.

To buttress a point he would say things like:

“When you know how to pound, you pound in the mortar, when you fail to learn how to pound, you end up pounding on the floor.”

“When a word is tossed at a sensible person, he takes it and pockets it for later use, but when a word is tossed at a profligate, he tosses it away and remains ever foolish.”

”You had better start looking for your black sheep before nighttime, otherwise, in the darkness of the night, you will not be able to recognize it.”

“A bad market day is recognized early in the morning.”

”You cannot carry a good head of palm fruit to pound in a leaking mortar.”

“You cannot plant corn and expect to harvest okra.”

On my mother’s part, she would elaborate her lessons with a dramatic flair sometimes:

Whatsoever you do, to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.” (in a sing-song voice).

”For a broom to sweep well, it must be bound with others. A lone broom stick cannot sweep a grain of sand.” (with a bound broom in her hand for demonstration).

“An okra plant can never grow taller than the planter. The planter can always bend it to harvest it’s fruits.” (the bending of a suitable item would be done with flourish).

Many lessons on contentment, generosity, integrity, hard work, love, kindness, belief, responsibility, admitting your mistakes, forgiveness, caring, humility, commitment, boldness, confidence, overcoming difficulties, living within your means, honesty, to seek God, values and so much more were taught. Now as I grow older, I understand it better.

As an adult, my surviving parent remains my best confidant and counselor. Her words parent quoteare gemstones.

Mum and dad were far from perfect but they tried their very best.

The lessons learnt paved way to who I am today and who I will become tomorrow.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Thursday, November 5

What is the most important lesson you learned as a child, and who taught it to you?

Life · Poetry/Poems · Writing · writing ideas

The Lady and the Map…an Ode

Living on purpose

Oh! There was an old map that the lady loved;
We used to be together, You and I;
Clutched every step of the way;
From East to West
From North to South
You and I; Map
Were inseparable!

Carefully plotted and stamped with anticipated goals;
Decorated with achievements and all the golden laurels;
At every mile and every inch of the way;
Map boasted of selfish individuality;
And screamed, Me, Me, Me!

The Map and Lady;
Grew very selfish in ambitions;
In a hasty bid to cover every milestone;
Lady forgot to tie her laces;
A trip, a fall and over the brimstone!

Scraped knees and a bleeding thumb;
Map got torn and was no longer perfect;
Lady sat in the puddle;
Wondering at the puzzle;
Then helping hand came to lift lady out of the muddle!

Bruised but not beaten;
Battered but not finished;
Lady said goodbye to old map;
Obtained a nicer map;
And sets-off on a happier journey!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Rising after fallingIn fulfillment of Writing 201 Poetry – Day 5: Map, Ode, Metaphor