Archives

For Sure, I Will Read It…

If the truth be told, what I know for sure is that I would not be able to resist digging into the book about my life and I will probably run to the very last page to see how it ended before taking my time to go through it with a fine tooth comb to know if the author/s got it right to the letter, if they did a shoddy job or if they tweaked it a bit to make the naughty parts juicier.Naked Truth

I am not going to tell you righteous tales of being so good that I won’t read it.

That would be telling a lie and my guardian angel would probably cover her eye’s in embarrassed shame at such a blatant fat gaffe.

It has been written already, so I might as well indulge and remind myself of somethings and possibly prepare myself for the best years of my life which lies ahead.

It actually reminds me of Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas past. About how he got to mend his grumpy ways after the early revelations.

Without doubts, I know some pages will make me cringe in, ‘how-could- I-do-that’ manner.

Some would make me cry, laugh, get angry, sigh ,moan, feel nostalgic and every possible emotion that will be caught in-between.

I guess I will order up a box of tissue in case I turn into a watering pot, some feel good Swiss chocolate and a nice tub of Haagen Daz ice-cream to help smooth my ruffled feathers back into place or calm raging nerves if need be.

What a lovely exposition that would be, if ever such an opportunity came. After all, ”to be forewarned is to be forearmed.”

The Daily Post prompt This Is Your Life.

If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.ย 

Advertisements

Wowee! This Party is Hopping!…

RSVPYour delightful presence would be most welcome to a cosy dinner party that I am hosting.

You know how I love to liven things up and I can assure you that you will have a most relaxing and delicious experience.

I wouldn’t want to let too much cat out of the bag but I want to titillate your senses just a wee bit.

An exquisite and sumptuous banquet from top culinary artists will be laid out to feast on.

We would have the most entertaining dinner guests of the past few centuries, in the names of Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontรซ, Ernest Hemingway, Leonardo Da Vinci, William Shakespeare, Wolfgang Mozart, Chinua Achebe and James Brown.

Da Vinci will be seated between Jane and Charlotte where he will spend the evening admiring their profiles and twiddling his thumbs in earnest desire to cast them into esteemed timeless art pieces like the Mona Lisa.

Shakespeare will be at one side of Jane where he will whisper naughty poetic nonsense to her and Jane will definitely reply him with Pride but without Prejudice.

James will ensconce himself beside Charlotte as well and listen to her tales of Jane Eyre and her enduring love for Rochester. He will do a little footwork under the table to her blushing chagrin and admiration.

Mozart will keep us entertained with his sublime piano concertos and intermittently, Ernest would recite his poetry’s that will make us feel intelligent and at peace.

Respected Achebe would recline in deep appreciation of his company while penning ‘So Long a letter’ to his pal Mariama Ba about how things seem to be coming together at my dinner party (and not falling apart like in his book ‘Things Fall Apart).

He would also emphasize on the fact that under my auspices, every one is now at ease and also not like in his novel ‘No Longer at Ease’ which had been written after a rather poor dinner outing with the Westerns ๐Ÿ˜‰

RSVP as quickly as possible and do tell me you would grace us with your presence.

ยฉ Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Seat Guru

You get to plan a dinner party for 4-8 of your favorite writers/artists/musicians/other notable figures, whether dead or alive. Who do you seat next to whom in order to inspire the most fun evening?

Image credit: Zazzle.com

What’s your Expertise?..

Though the Business Dictionary defines an Expert as: The basis of credibility of a person who is perceived to be knowledgeable in an area or topic due to his or her study, training, or experience in the subject matter, the word expert connotes more meaning for me.

In my layman’s opinion, an expert is that person who is able to teach me something that I need to know and he/she knows it better than I do.1448343636737[1]

In my place, there is a proverb that says that “what one does not know is bigger than that person”ย  which highlights the truism that knowledge is indeed power.

My young children seem to be more abreast with the electrical gadgets in the house than their mother and they are always amused when I have to call one of them to ask for help in fixing or putting on the new-fangled plasma screen TV etc, in return they get called praise names by me, like ”my Bobo genius, Mummy’s Champion” or any name that pops into my head and you can see their glow in proving valuable, so in such little instances, they are my experts.

During my growing up years, I believed that my dad was a genius and an expert.

He tinkered and fixed just about everything that got broken in his spare time, even those of our neighbours.

It occurred so often that it became the norm to see an honorary auntie or uncle come calling with a broken iron or kettle or car issues and you would hear them right from the entrance of our house saying ‘‘Jay, Jay Martins (that was my dad’s alias among his friends) biko/please can you help me look at this thing? I wonder what is wrong with it?”

He would collect it, fiddle around and in a lot of instances, he got it sorted. This was done freely.

It was just a hobby and not his job. He was not a trained engineer. He studied and worked as a crop scientist, yet his interest in knowing how things worked not only made my mum and his friends happy, but it put a lot of joy and smiles on his face.

Personally, I do not view expertise in the literal sense of the word of just being knowledgeable in a field of study, but the appropriate application of that knowledge to achieve required results.

Prowess in a particular field of knowledge may not be a subject of interest or a need to know information for me and therefore at that point in time, it is almost irrelevant.

On several occasions, I have asked other bloggers how they were able to do something that I found admirable and as I go on, I keep my eyes and heart open so that I may glean off the expertise of others while still working on developing the muscles of mine.

What areas of your life would you consider that you have sufficient prowess to be deemed an expert? Have you ever given it a thought?

ยฉ Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

NaBloPoMo Prompt – Who is an expert you admire and why?

Wednesday, November 25

Image credit:

One-In-Town! Limited Edition!….

In my opinion, the dish washing machine producers simply didn’t think the production of thisScientist useful apparatus through when they were making it, except they indirectly created an automated cupboard for washed crockery.

It is really tiresome to engage in loading plates and off loading plates, then using the same plates within hours of washing and offloading and the hamster cycle continues.

My plates seem to live in the dishwasher more often than not except my fine china, which is brought out for auspicious August visitors and I dare say, that this is the case in a lot of homes.

With my tongue in my cheek, I know several African friends of mine whose dishwashers are mere items to decorate the kitchen and only put to use once in a while.

As a matter of fact, we actually end up washing the dishes ourselves and putting them on a plate rack to dry. Less trouble that way.

In that light, I am embarking on reinventing the dishwasher with an assistant attached to do the loading and offloading. Not that I am much of an inventor ๐Ÿ˜‰

Who knows, I might come up with a fangled sophisticated new plate loader and off-loader.

Please queue up for your own limited edition of this one-in-town apparatus.

You can put down your name below, with required specifications and preferred colour ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s first come, first serve basis!

ยฉ Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Monday, November 16

Pretending you have the expertise to make the product a reality, what do you wish you could invent?

image credit: gogobambini.com

To Quieten These Voices…

1446565722308

Is it not yet obvious why I blog? Well, grab a cup of coffee and let me tell you some things:

I blog because I love talking and connecting with other humans with like interests; hoping the people I am meeting online are not all aliens ๐Ÿ˜‰

I blog so that I can develop my writing muscles and focus. It is like thinking through my fingers.

I blog because I can attempt to paint my pictures in words.

I blog because the crazy voices and characters in my head won’t let me keep quiet.

I blog because it gives voice to my thoughts and clarity to my deliberations.

I feel a deep satisfaction when I have finally said it, until the very next second, when another idea pops up.

I blog because I have heaps and heaps of stories to twist and tell and dear husbands ears are getting hot and tired.

I blog because the riotous emotions that thrum in my blood only quieten down when they have been let loose.

I blog so that I can keep my sanity. It calms my restless heart.

I blog because it would be a shame to have something to say but choke to death with everything buried inside.

I blog so that I may empty myself a piece at a time and by the time I am old and checking out, every single part of me would have oozed out.

I blog for posterity sake. I want my progeny to find bits of me somewhere in this space when I am long gone. No one can tell my story better than myself.

I blog because blogging and writing a novel are not precisely the same. Writing a book is a tailored, more time consuming venture while blogging is like a chat between friends over a nice cup of coffee/tea and a decadent slice of sweetness.

I blog so that I can be a part of the inner caucus of such an elite society with a sophisticated name. Blogger! How nice ๐Ÿ˜‰

If not for blogging, I wouldn’t have been exposed to this huge fascinating World of bloggers and I would not have met you, you, you, you……….

Is this answer sufficient or should I refresh your cup and continue?

ยฉ Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to The Daily Post prompt Million-Dollar-Question

Why do you blog?

I must have been born exclaiming!

1445442236939

I do exclaim quite a bit, even in real life! I think we Africans tend to like a bit of drama, with all the Ahs! Ohs! Hei! O’s, Ehh’s! Hmm’s! that dots our spoken words to emphasize the thoughts that goes with the words.

So genetically, I practice this as a true African to help you get the drift of my thoughts!

I very well can’t add all the hmm’s and hah’s to my writing or can I?

I think those punctuation marks were created for a purpose and I am not even sure that I am using enough of them!

Therefore, when I am making an expression that goes on and on and I am not sure how to do that, I use continuous spots or should I say dots! It represents a pause……., so that you can mull over that thought!

I love little bits of colours here and there ( sometimes, I think I am a magpie that is forever attracted to shiny stuff).

I love to smile too! Even on paper. ๐Ÿ˜Š Well, not on my thesis, I guess Master Prof. will not find that very impressive and will assume that it is a lame attempt at buttering up ๐Ÿ˜•

When I write, a lot of times, if I don’t have my headphones on, I say out my words as I type or write them, as though you are in here with me and I try to simulate your answer and how we would twist the topic to 7 Sundays.

My pencils do suffer anxiety attacks from not knowing which of them I will chew to bits the following day and my keyboard has suffered a nervous breakdown a time or two.

My family have grown used to the queer awesomeness of this Lady of the Manor and my husband’s roll of his eyeballs when my laughter gets raucous makes me share tidbits of juicy bits from this awesome community.

Sometimes, most times, I have to reduce my words when I am bursting with so much to say. I keep silent in my head to allow you get in a word sideways as well.

It is a shame that the banter we share has to zip through the cyberspace, bypassing some
word- nappers across all the oceans before making it safely to you and sometimes it takes forever to arrive.

No, I am not a mad-hatter, but I do have my writing and real side quirks which makes me who I am.

That’s some of my quirkiness (I hear that they grow as you get older). So let me know about yours.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to The Daily Post prompt By The Dots

We all have strange relationships with punctuation — do you overuse exclamation marks? Do you avoid semicolons like the plague? What type of punctuation could you never live without? Tell us all about your punctuation quirks!

A Day in the life of a Maid…..a true recount

Displaying 20150713_204822.jpg

When we came here for a look-see in December, to help facilitate our migrating decision-making process, we spent weeks in a glitzy, glam hotel having a tour of the lovely city.

Hotels spuriously dot Dubai’s landscape to meet the needs of a teeming tourism industry which keeps blooming by the day. From the 0 stars to 5 stars and the only 7 Star hotel in the World!

Naturally, I got a bit friendly with a few of the staff, especially a young lady that tended to our room. I have no idea if I was drawn to her because she is of African descent, but I remember observing her very earnest yet polite demeanour as she rushed through her duties like a fire-ball in a haste to get her job done in record time.

The little tips that I gave her were highly appreciated and by the end of a few days, we became a little more friendly. I even suggested to her that I would like to share a day working with her for the heck of the experience to her alarmed and vehement refusal.

Out of piqued curiosity an interview ensued on one of the days that she was making up the room, little did I know that I would use the excerpts one day!

I will keep her name different and no mention is made of the hotels for privacy sake:

Me: “Lydia, where are you from?”

Lydia : “Somalia.”

Me: “How long have you been living here?”

Lydia : “Three years now.”

Me: “Wow!”ย  “That’s been a while!” “Do you live close by?”

Lydia: “Not at all.” “The outskirts, after Sharjah.” “It’s too expensive to live in the city.”

Me: “That’s far! (I exclaimed with the little idea that I had to the terrain). ”What time do you leave home?”

Lydia: ”Most times 5 or 5:30 in the morning!” ”I have to be at work by 7:30.”

Me: “And I see you here till late evening around 9.00pm or so when the bus is taking a bunch of you home.” “Doe’s the bus take you home?”

Lydia: “No it stops us at a metro station and we find our way from there.”

Me: “Oh good!” “So how do you like it living here?” “Was it easy to transition from your place?” “I thought it was a bit difficult to move here as a single woman, given the rules and regulations?” A battery of questions came from my end and all these while she busily went about her duties in the apartment, changing sheets, fluffing pillows etc.

Lydia: “It’s okay to live here even though it is more expensive than Somalia, but this place is better.” “An employment agency engages a lot of us.” “We cannot apply directly by ourselves and they are the ones that obtain the visa after medical tests and other requirements have been satisfied.” ”The agency gets a fraction of our income – they are actually our employers and they deploy us to work in places where they get contracts.”

Me: ”How did you get to know about the agency?” ”Are you happy with the work?”

Lydia: ”My cousin told me about them.” ”We were searching for a proper way to leave Somalia because of certain hardship due to conflicts.” I observed the flitting of emotions on her pretty face, but I didn’t interrupt as I was regaled with bits and pieces of what home meant to her.

Me: ”So what about the job?” ”Is it tedious?” ”Is it okay?” ”What has your experience been like?” I asked leading questions trying to probe a bit beyond the surface.

Lydia: ”Sometimes, I do about 35 check-outs in a day.” I got to understand that, that meant putting rooms in immaculate states when an occupant has checked out.

Some days can be very stressful especially when some occupants are difficult and don’t want you to disturb them until when they are ready.” ”Then they call and tell housekeeping that nobody has done up their rooms; meanwhile, they are the ones that put a do not disturb sign on the door.” ”What can you do?” ”You just have to manage.” She stated philosophically

Every job has it’s problems, but if I get money, I will open a hairdressing salon.” ”I know how to make hair very well.” Her face lit up at such an anticipated prospect.

This is actually my second place of work.” ”At the first hotel that I worked in, I was nearly assaulted by a client.” ”It was during a festive season and the hotel was fully booked at that time.” ‘I was assigned to work that floor for the week and this man kept making overtures but I ignored him.” ”On one of the days that I was cleaning up the toilet (and he is a very messy guest), he followed me into the bathroom, got aggressive and tried to force himself on me.” ”I barely managed to extricate myself without getting seriously hurt, but the Indian housekeeping manager informed me two days later that I was fired for upsetting a customer.”

I was lucky that the agency was understanding and they deployed me to this place.” ”This is a better hotel, she enunciated quietly in her sing-song drawling accent. ”The manager is a nice Egyptian Christian.”

I was very disquietened and left the interview at that with a bigger tip than usual.

ยฉ Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to The Daily Post prompt FAQ

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.