What’s your Expertise?..

November 24, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha19 Comments

Though the Business Dictionary defines an Expert as: The basis of credibility of a person who is perceived to be knowledgeable in an area or topic due to his or her study, training, or experience in the subject matter, the word expert connotes more meaning for me.

In my layman’s opinion, an expert is that person who is able to teach me something that I need to know and he/she knows it better than I do.

In my place, there is a proverb that says that “what one does not know is bigger than that person” which highlights the truism that knowledge is indeed power.

My young children seem to be more abreast with the electrical gadgets in the house than their mother and they are always amused when I have to call one of them to ask for help in fixing or putting on the new-fangled plasma screen TV etc, in return they get called praise names by me, like ”my Bobo genius, Mummy’s Champion” or any name that pops into my head and you can see their glow in proving valuable, so in such little instances, they are my experts.

During my growing up years, I believed that my dad was a genius and an expert.

He tinkered and fixed just about everything that got broken in his spare time, even those of our neighbours.

It occurred so often that it became the norm to see an honorary auntie or uncle come calling with a broken iron or kettle or car issues and you would hear them right from the entrance of our house saying ‘‘Jay, Jay Martins (that was my dad’s alias among his friends) biko/please can you help me look at this thing? I wonder what is wrong with it?”

He would collect it, fiddle around and in a lot of instances, he got it sorted. This was done freely.

It was just a hobby and not his job. He was not a trained engineer. He studied and worked as a crop scientist, yet his interest in knowing how things worked not only made my mum and his friends happy, but it put a lot of joy and smiles on his face.

Personally, I do not view expertise in the literal sense of the word of just being knowledgeable in a field of study, but the appropriate application of that knowledge to achieve required results.

Prowess in a particular field of knowledge may not be a subject of interest or a need to know information for me and therefore at that point in time, it is almost irrelevant.

On several occasions, I have asked other bloggers how they were able to do something that I found admirable and as I go on, I keep my eyes and heart open so that I may glean off the expertise of others while still working on developing the muscles of mine.

What areas of your life would you consider that you have sufficient prowess to be deemed an expert? Have you ever given it a thought?

NaBloPoMo Prompt – Who is an expert you admire and why?

Wednesday, November 25

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Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post

Here, There and Where else?..

November 21, 2015November 21, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha38 Comments

This glitzy city of Dubai is growing on me in its own way and I think that it could probably burrow its way much more into my heart if the inhabitants looked less like they sucked on sour grapes half of the time.

Whats with all the serious look, that to wangle a greeting or a smile is almost like a visit to the dentist, where you reluctantly have to open your mouth?

Hard forbidding looks, frowns and cold stares are offered as if you would steal their smile or as if the smiles are worth pots of gold.

With a little more observation, I have found that the warmer ones around here are the Filipinos, who are quick to offer a greeting with a smile as they try to cajole you to patronize them.

They are closely followed by the Russian and Ukrainian ladies, then the Indian and Chinese who all want to make quick sales and who know that these foreigners visiting or living here might have a little extra cash at hand.

The Pakistanis are a bit rough around the edges, though their sleek tongued sales men are usually dressed more dapper in tight tailored to fit suits and Mohawk shaped crops gelled into place with enough fritz that the spikes will not even waver under a windstorm.

The Pakistani drivers hurtle down the highway at aggressive speed, hardly allowing you space to inch in on the road. They duly remind me of my Lagos brothers whose method of ‘shan’t gree’/not allowing you to enter the road, is similar to theirs.

The blacks around are as black as they come. The Ethiopians who are half wishing they are Arabs, therefore not quite sure whether they should fraternize with other blacks or not and then the hustling Nigerians who are looking for goods to ship back to an ever demanding and increasing consumer Nation of over 173 million.

It is an incredible potpourri of Nationalities and I am discovering them as I go on.

The rest of the crew are their usual lukewarm selves, neither cold nor hot, just pursed lips like people who have bad case of gas.

If I could spend my time equally divided between two places right now, I would choose my home’s in Houston, Texas and Lagos, Nigeria.

I miss both places, with severe doses of nostalgia sometimes, more so at this time of the year with the holidays floating in the air. I miss my friends in Houston, I miss the Texas Multicultural Women (a Non-Governmental Organization that I belong to), I miss my library runs, my parish – Christ The Redeemer, I miss school volunteer work, my quiet neighbourhood, the parks that were close to home and so much more.

There is no Christmas like that spent back in my native land in Nigeria. I miss the crazy hustle and bustle.

I miss the warmth of family, friends and even strangers alike. I miss the smiling faces and the loads of social events.

These pangs are not easy for me to capture in words.

The Daily Post prompt A Tale of Two Cities

If you could split your time evenly between two places, and two places only, which would these be?

Creative Writing · Family · Love · Poetry/Poems · The Daily Post

The Blissful Moment of Love Touches ..

November 19, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha24 Comments

Love Notes

Just for a moment we danced,
And too soon we had to part,

In that wonderful little moment,
Something sweet happened to my heart,

Your sweet breath caressed my ears,
Your jaw bristles scoured my cheeks,
and left indelible dents on my senses,

And I tumbled….

Many nights I stayed awake,
reliving the dance again and again,

Many days the rumble of your voice echoed in my head,
Your uttered breath, a breeze to my ears,

Many times I thought of your butterfly kiss,
Brushing my golden toned skin,

A sigh…
Shall we dance again?

Love notes of an enamoured miss.

♥♥

You tossed and tumbled,
Turning my insides into your playground,

I felt your hiccups and your heartbeats,
which echoed like mine,
My little cuddly, smooth and soft bundle,

Sweet smells of innocence as you gaze up at me,
Your snuffles as you latch on,
To nipples that nourish you to life,

I watch in bated wonder, my heart expands beyond word’s,
As I tumble over and over knowing that you are mine,

The love notes of a mother

♥♥

Seasoned hands reach for each other,
In comfort and in love we cling,

Cackling at jokes understood only by us,
Nodding in silent understanding of unspoken words.

We watch many sun’s go down,
Ginger and Iced beer a sip, a smile and a hum,

Swinging on the porch,
Till you say to me,

Let’s go to bed my love,
Creaky bones and seasoned hands clasped,

In granny pj’s and cosy furry slippers,
We crawl into familiar bed,

And we tumbled, Just you and I.

The love notes of a seasoned wife

♥♥

For the love notes of a grand-daughter please click on this link The tale of the wrinkled hands

The Daily Post prompt The Power Of Touch

Textures are everywhere: The rough edges of a stone wall. The smooth innocence of a baby’s cheek. The sense of touch brings back memories for us. What texture is particularly evocative to you?

Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You · Social Issues · Success

A Nanny Goat and Her Young Ones….

November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

When we analyze the state of things and how it appears that norms and values, respect and everything have been eroded, it also occurs to me that as adults, parents, custodians and educators of the young ones under our care, we are equally failing in passing on these expected values, right norms, respect and all that is deemed to constitute a responsible human onto these young ones.

Behavioural skills, social norms and beliefs are learnt and they do not grow on trees. They are acquired through constant teaching and emulation. A child is only radicalized through the teachings of an adult or someone in a position of respect. A child is equally taught respect from early days!

The younger generation did not wake up spoilt! Not at all!

We the older generation loaded them with ammunition like kegs of gunpowder and it takes just a strike of a match for them to combust.

They watch and learn from us, add their own individuality and whatever the end result turns into is a product of that.

In essence a child is a by-product of his/her upbringing and society.

We should therefore hold ourselves 90% responsible for the spate of violence, moral decadence, loss of respect and every other vice that rears up its ugly head in today’s World.

We should not lose sight of the fact that we wield a lot of authority in helping these young ones form, therefore we should exercise it in the right manner.

A lot of times, when I take a look today at the my own life cycle, it does not fail to occur to me that the tenets which I have held mostly onto are those ones inculcated in me in my formative years and I daresay that those tenets are the ones that kept me from sinking, even when I furiously dug pits that could have caved in on me. “When a child is raised in the way that he should go, when he grows, he will not depart from it.”

Let me share a couple of African proverbs for today, and bid you a good day.

”When the nanny goat eats grass, it’s young ones watch her mouth and imitate.”

”If a child shoots an arrow that reaches the top of a tall palm tree, then it must be that an elderly person carved the bow and arrow for him.”

”The instruction of a child in youth is like engraving on a stone.”

”When a mother hen has been caught and killed, her chicks become easy prey.”

Once again, Chape thank you for inviting me to the quotes challenge. I shall extend the same courtesy to these awesome bloggers:

Danny

Maria Jansson

Jennifer Calvert

Kind regards,

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Feeling like an outsider is not a memory that I can latch on to easily as a child because while growing up, my parents home was teeming with family members, hard work and a lot of play that there was no room left to feel left out.

However, these silly pangs showed their green eyes during my semi-adult early years at the University.

I was a freshman and boy-friendless at that point in time, my senior roommates all had their heartthrobs, going out for parties and what have you and in a bid to feel like part of the crowd, I bowed to peer influence (which is not only very real but can be dangerous as well) and duly started dating to foster my own false sense of belonging.

Peer pressure can be subtly or out-rightly intimidating and when a budding young person is ensnared by some of these trappings of false freedom (away from home and parental influence that have cocooned you for so long) for the first time, it can be a combustion of a whole lot of factors, without paying mind to extraneous complications or consequences.

Sometimes, I look back and truly thank God from the depth of my soul that I did not wind up dead by some of the youthful escapades and exuberance that my adventurous self ventured into – a story that can create a book.

Now as a full grown adult, I have grown into my own sense of self-assurance, self-love, self-inclusion and belonging, sufficiently enough, to create my own windows and not have to peep into the neighbours own.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Outsiders

Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

Creative Writing · Devotions · Family · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You

A Single Palm Frond Cannot Weave A Basket…

November 17, 2015November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha23 Comments

Honestly, I enjoy quotes because these short words tell succinctly, lessons that an entire book may be unable to tell. Thank you Chape for inviting me for a round of 3 quote challenge.

Events of the past couple of days have made me dwell so much more on thoughts of unity and prayer, because as we know very well that, in unity we stand, but in division we fall.

I remember when we were much younger and would get into squabbles with each other, my mother was the constant peace broker and she would use simple demonstrations to teach us certain things. Let me share one of them with you.

We had several old woven baskets which were used for storing spices or herbs in the house and she would fetch two of these baskets which were special handiwork of Nsukka tribeswomen – it’s weaving was not so intricate yet effective.

She loosened a bit of the frond at one end and asked each of us to pull at a strand, and the basket unraveled.

‘‘Can one palm frond make a basket?” She inquired.

”NO, Ma!” We answered in unison.

Comparing the unraveled basket and the one that stood intact, she asked us which one was useful in its state and we pointed at the one which was still intact.

”You are one when you stand together and you would be of good use.” ”When you choose to unravel and stand alone, you serve no purpose to anyone and you are weakened because your frond can be bent and broken, while the fronds that are intact cannot be broken together.” She intoned.

Let us remember to band together in prayers, in wisdom, in strength and in positivity to be of good use.

On that note, I will leave you with these African proverbs:

”If you wish to go quickly you go alone, but if you wish to go far, you go together.”

”When trees stand together they make a forest.”

”When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.”

”Two ants do not fail to pull one grasshopper.”

I would like to invite these awesome bloggers to participate in the quote challenge:

Dr Meg Sorick

anghulinghugotero

Maria Holm

Blogging · Family · Little rants · Social critic · Social Issues

Puhleez! Just Stop!….

November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha52 Comments

It is hard for me to desist from ranting about this dark sexual communication nonsense, because I have never felt that unnecessary railing over social issues resolves the problems, but consistent positive acts are the only way our society can change for the better.

No, I am not a hater and I am not discriminating! I also appreciate the good side of sex very much, but that is hardly the topic of my vexation.

It is not a religious rant! Being a christian does not make me any better than anyone else out there, neither does it place me in a position to judge anyone.

I am just a community minded human, who sees the wicked seeds planted carelessly out there with disregard to its consequences and they are disguised under the ambiguous blanket of freedom of expression.

I have plenty of my own planks that needs to be removed from my eyes each day, but one thing that I will not fail to try is to respect others, their sensibilities and propagate as much positivity as I can.

In the bid to be politically correct these days, truth is shunned and lies encroach like a wily burglar that calls when the owner is not around.

Stop hiding under the voluminous cloak of seeking sexual equality rights to propagate your filthy degrading acts.

These prolific dark pornographic communication targeted at young children are no different from those of men who use the cloak of religion to perpetrate heinous acts!

Excessive propagation of insane, extreme sexual proclivities in the name of campaign for sexual equality, is very much part of today’s problem.

Do these adults who spend time in selling these items for material gains, infiltrating the entire web with filth that should be kept in their dark minds and rooms where it belongs realize the wicked seeds of indiscreet promiscuity, sexual degradation and laxity that they sow into the lives of the upcoming generation?

Nowadays, such materials are available at the click of a finger which is such a crying shame.

Young impressionable children are targeted and fed with pornographic nonsense which takes root in their minds and breeds so much more negative repercussions than you care to think of and most of these young ones have these gadgets at their disposal.

We all wish for a better World and it starts from each and every one of us.

If you think that your acts don’t count, please think again!

Do show some care for the future generation.

Life does not end with perverted selfishness.

An intelligent person can make their arguments known without the graphic bestial nonsense that is put out there.

I was thoroughly shocked this morning as I went through my reader and opened a seemingly innocent blog only to have my eyes pop with the graphic pornographic video content of this blog.

Nowhere did it indicate adult above 18 content.

I am not preaching to anyone to change their lifestyle.

Far from it! Someone’s lifestyle is their prerogative.

Just Act Responsibly! Or is the mental decency acuity dead as well?

This is simply irresponsible of this blogger and wrong on so many levels.

Pornography gives birth to hydra-headed monsters. You may like to read this article.

You know yourself and I am chewing your ears.

It might not mean anything to you, but know this and know it well, PROVIDENCE never forgets.

Have we become such a selfish generation filled with entitlement and gratification that we have become so desensitized while we are busy selling ourselves the mantra that it’s only our happiness that matters?

I rest my case.

Family · Life · Love

We Gyrate Till Day Break!…

November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Most Nigerians I know love to have a good party or what we Lasgidi people (I was once a Lagos babe, so I am always a Lagos babe) call Owambe, where you will wiggle your waist to vibrant music till the wee hours of the morning.

The social scenery is such a robust one with all manners of lavish events going on every weekend from child dedication, to birthday party, weddings (always tops the list) anniversaries, burial ceremonies and so on.

We do not do these things in half measures and even a man whose pockets are to let by society standards, will still manage to put something together that will bring his neighours gathering.

If I were to put an owambe together for my closest one, my husband or my mother, out of all the countries that I have visited, I would still choose to have my party in Naija. We know how to rock it well!

Our parties are never small, so we generously prepare for lots of guests (even uninvited ones who will tag along).

You need a large enough space to accommodate all and sundry that will gather to celebrate with you.

Our parties are most times preceded with a church thanksgiving depending on the occasion, before everybody convenes at the party venue.

Of course, the Dee-Jay would have the music on a spin with a good mix that will bring most people to their feet and in between dancing, small chops, drinks, party favours are handed out.

We also sew elaborate or buy very glamourous outfits to suit these occasions and the jolliness is usually infectious.

We never bother with RSVP because we always make sure that Rice and Stew is Very Plenty! (Just spoke it with my pidgin accent on my mind)

Quick Glossary for words that you may not know:

Lasigidi – A nickname for the city of Lagos state, Nigeria.

Owambe – A Yoruba word which means ”it (party) is happening here.”

Naija: Naija is another name for Nigeria, the patriotic name for Nigerians to show their strength and smartness.

Image courtesy: Nairaland.

The Daily Post prompt RSVP

Plan the ultimate celebration for the person you’re closest to, and tell us about it. Where is it? Who’s there? What’s served? What happens?

Family · Life · Love · Personal story

A Frolicking Day….

November 13, 2015November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha36 Comments

Ever since I became a wife and mother, my views about days off and such luxury changed. Ideal days off or should I say hours off are found in snatches here and there.

It all depends on what is happening in our lives at that point in time. It would start with waking up and finding that my family are in good state of health. No major dramas except the usual hungry humans, school/work related matters, housekeeping blah, blah.

It’s a day off to go shopping quietly all by myself and return without settling a thousand squabbles of my offspring along the way.

It’s a day off in my mind when I have that me time to unwind and read my book, listen to music, dance, take a walk or savour a good meal.

However, there are also extra special days such as the one that I spent today with the kiddos at Jumeirah Beach.

It’s weekend already in this part of the World and we decided to generally go lounging and frolicking in the water and sand.

It is rewarding in so many ways to spend time like this with them.

Lounging and enjoying the fresh breeze coupled with people watching is an awesome sport too 😉

The beach presents you literally with humans of all shapes and sizes. You can watch and make up stories in your mind to your hearts delight, then again, some real time stories get to happen right before your eyes.

We caught some odds and ends on camera (like the Air Force formation in the sky), we had a greasy lunch and came home happy.

Day offs are really what one chooses to make of it. For me it is a state of well-being/mind and finding my peace in the midst of each days ups and downs.

In response to NaBloPoMo, Friday, November 13

Describe your ideal day off. What would you do with your time?

Street art captured in the glare of the sun

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream

How much?…

November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha32 Comments

Haggling is an art! To live in an African society with it’s rowdy markets, you need to perfect the art of haggling over goods.

Recollections of days spent traipsing after mother or grandma at the market, trudging from pillar to post haggling over goods in order to get the best bargains makes me smile.

It was never a straight journey!

Purchases were made in-between hundreds of greeting exchanges.

These grown women would hug, chatter, ask about the entire family and their well-being, exclaim over the incessant climb in the price of goods, natter about the latest African prints fabric, discuss their next meetings and what have you, while you stood patiently with the basket waiting for that conversation to be over, only for another encounter of another auntie to occur down the line where yam tubers were sold.

The haggling dance between the seller and the buyer was one done in camaraderie.

A piece of yam tuber would be lifted, passed from the buyers one hand to the other to check how weighty, inspected to ensure that it was still fresh and when mother was satisfied with the selected yam piece, the pricing war begins with “how much?”

This could go on from one market stall to the other and the basket on your head got heavier with the items purchased.

On a good day, your assistance would be rewarded with some boiled groundnuts, fried puff-puffs or something little to nibble at.

Please do remember not to grumble when the haggling is going on otherwise, you might be rewarded with a proverb that says “a child carried on the back, does not realize that the journey is very far.”

For today’s quote, I shall leave you with these African proverbs:

“Life is like shopping in the market, when you finish your purchases, you go home.”

”One does not throw stones in the market square, because you don’t know whose head it might break.”

”Marriage is like eating groundnuts in pods! You have to crack it to see what is inside.”

I have totally enjoyed reminiscing over these proverbs for the past couple of days Oba all thanks to you.

I invite these awesome bloggers to feel free and share some quotes: