Guide To Better Living · Health

It’s in the leaves…

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It seems that I have developed an interest to gain an in-depth understanding of herbs and their functions, though I believe that this interest has always been there but was lying fallow somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

Now and again, the desire to start the journey into the jungle of herbs and its usage briefly bubbles to the surface and I picture myself standing before a steamy cauldron of nose tingling mixture, dishing out timeless wisdom of the ages.

I can still recall the voluminous black and yellow book ‘Where there is no doctor’ that sat on my parents’ bookshelf for ever and by the way, still sits there. As a young girl, I thumbed through that book uncountable times and marveled at how people knew what to do for different ailments etc.

Was that a cue that I should have dabbled into medicine and pharmacology? Not sure, just a side thought. My mother used to prepare many concoctions and what not from plants gathered from her garden and foraged around us and they worked.

Till date, when having a conversation with my mama and I complain of anything, she will say, ‘ah, have you tried turmeric, or ginger, or milk thistle or this and that,’ and her recommendations are always quite helpful.

Incidentally, we have forebears who were medicine men/women who knew both the good, the bad and the ugly sides of plants. I vividly recall the night I was stung by a scorpion on my left foot whilst we played outside, the horrible pain that shot up my leg seared itself into my memory. I can vividly recall the swift manner in which my aunt swung into action to take care of me.

My left thigh was bound tightly with a belt, an action taken to stop the scorpion’s venom from spreading. I was given a fat ball of raw onion to chew on whilst my aunt with the precision of a surgeon made an incision in the area where I was stung with a blade and applied some black poultice to that spot.

I felt the painful extraction of the venom by this marvelous black thingy and after the arduous process of sucking out the venom, she dropped the black mass into a bowl of evaporated milk and a yellowish liquid oozed out of it. By the following morning, I was as right as rain.

Unfortunately, most of these relatives passed on without getting their rich knowledge documented. Now that I think of it, I think it is kind of sad that in the bid to embrace Western ways, it seems like we have left valuable parts of our culture behind.

Anyways, back to my awakened desire to delve into herbalism especially stoked by the fact that as I grow older, my body keeps speaking foreign languages to me. I have been researching and reading lots of articles – it seems overwhelming, and I don’t even know which end of the stick to hold.

I plan to take short, affordable courses to enrich my learning and my life. I wonder where the journey will take me, but I doubt very much if I will be reading tea leaves anytime soon. Will let you know how I progress and maybe share a tincture or two.

Till next time.

mental health · Musings

Is IT still ‘Happy New Year?’

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Hello there,

Is it still okay to say Happy New Year, given that the barrage of eventful incidents around the world already makes the year feel prematurely hectic?
Nonetheless, I would still like to wish a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. I hope you had a fairly decent Christmas and New Year holidays?
Personally, I had a good one, and I am thankful for that. The tail-end of December 2024 saw several fatal plane crashes and 2025 began with the mayhem of a terrorist attack on New Year’s Eve.
I am not sure I will ever understand how any human becomes so evil-minded that they construe despicable ways to harm others needlessly. Severe mental ill-health aside, it takes another level of twisted mind and depravity for anyone desire and to meticulously plan on how to carry out certain nefarious acts.
The total disregard for the sanctity of human life in today’s world makes one wonder. What manner of diabolical pleasure drives such people? How did they become like this? So many questions swirl in my head and leaves me feeling sad at times that such people exist alongside those who simply want to live their lives happily and peacefully.

I sincerely pray that the rest of the year brings better tidings and brighter days for every single one of us and that the year 2025 is indeed a happy and prosperous one. My condolences to the families affected by these tragedies and may the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace.

Health · How To Tips

3 Days Water Fast – My 1st Attempt

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It has been on my mind to do a 3-day fast for various reasons, but I wasn’t so sure if I could see it through as it is my first time of embarking on such on a long fast. Nevertheless, I chose to give it a go and to hopefully stick to it.

I kicked off my fasting the evening of the 28th after a sumptuous dinner at 6.30pm and a prayer that I will be able to survive voluntarily going without food for 3 days.

My desire to do the fasting were underpinned by the following reasons:
– to gain more mental clarity,
– a spiritual retreat,
– body detox,
– healing from inflammation, i
– improve my health through Autophagy (body’s process of cleaning out damaged cells)
– possibly break through a weight loss plateau that I have been experiencing.

I am well into day 2 of my fast and this is what I have to say. “IT is not for the faint-hearted, ‘cos the hunger pangs will make you feel like diving into the fridge every second to find something to munch on. You feel like saying ‘to hell with this and ordering a huge pizza or burger for good measure.”

On the positive side, I feel more energized, I feel less heavy and have zero bloating. The pain in my knees have reduced so much and for the first time in ages, I can truly say that I am fine if someone were to ask me, how are you. I have spent some extra time reflecting, reading the bible, praying and listening to uplifting messages.
I am hoping that by the end of the 3-day fast tomorrow, I would have dropped a few pounds and plan to keep them off.

Tips that have helped me so far, is drinking warm water, keeping busy and trying to think less about the food and more about how good I feel.

This is just my personal experience and before you embark on such, check yourself to be sure that it is something you can do from a medical standpoint.

Have you ever done an extended fasting and would you consider doing it?

Social critic · Social Issues

It’s getting too much…

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Respect. Sometimes, I think this word has become overrated and has led to so much trouble all around the world because people have fragile oversized egos and can’t seem to get over themselves. Some treat this so-called ‘respect’ as a whipping stick and with such people, life would be a nightmare. They tend to forget that respect is earned and reciprocal.

In the past week, I have come across several horrifying posts from different parts of the world (so it’s a global problem) and each one portraying a man un-aliving either his wife or girlfriend for one absurd and often flimsy excuse, simply because he couldn’t control his emotions. It reminds me of the saying that ‘if you can’t control your emotions, your emotions will control you.’

Dear Mister man, what happened to going your separate ways if it’s no longer working? If she’s not respecting you as you would like to be respected, separation, divorce is an option. Nothing gives anybody the right to take another person’s life because they are all in their feelings and can’t get a grip of themselves.

Sadly, these egregious acts are 99.9% of the time perpetrated on women by men because he felt disrespected. They fail to remember that women absorb so much more of their nonsense, forgives them and does not resort to killing anyone. The annoying aspect is that the punishment for these acts is not severe enough to deter repeated acts of grievous bodily harm. See the pathetic sentence given to the 50 men involved in the case of Dominique Pelicot.

As a woman, I know that it’s easier said than done, but please, if you are in a toxic relationship that endangers your life, get out whilst you still have a life to live. Leave to live. Making the mistake to love the wrong person should not be a death sentence.

This is a rant and not my usual type of post! I have so much to say but choose to be civil.

PS. What does respect really mean?

Guide To Better Living · Health · Lifestyle

Slow – Living

Sometimes, I worry that I am not setting enough challenging goals for myself and as such not achieving as much as I could especially financially – and then such thought sends me into a heated effort to up my ante and push harder.

Then, I realize that what gets the better of me is that when I get caught by this bug, I go into overdrive and oftentimes, I end up setting too many goals and exorbitant expectations to match them; all with good intentions, but I tend to fail in following through when out of the blues, life chooses to start lifing and things then get overwhelming.

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I am nudged with the fact that I am getting older and that if I don’t have certain ducks set in a row soon, that would be that, and I will be left clutching feathers. It is not that the thought is giving me sleepless nights, now and again, it simply feels like a hard knot sitting in my throat.

I am naturally a multitasker but recently, I chose to start practicing single-tasking as well as slow-living in most aspects of my life, where possible. Unfortunately, the exigency of paid employment makes it unaffordable to practice the 100 % slow-living approach. Nonetheless, consciously choosing to be intentional, to calm down and not rev my engine as hard and as furious as before, is proving to be far more helpful and even more productive than before.

My business right now is to really to strike the right balance and harmony in everything that concerns my life by focusing on quality over quantity, mindfully enjoying the present moment, prioritizing my values and experiences. Embracing this slower paced lifestyle has increased my sense of well-being, reduced my feelings of anxiety, helping me to cultivate a deeper connection with God and the world around me.

I’m finding that the case of ‘not how fast, but how far’ stands true and possibly wins with time.

Life · Lifestyle · Philosophy of Life

A pinch of gratitude, a basket of grace.

A little gratitude can do lots of wonders for your overall wellbeing.

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Though it’s not always easy, being grateful for the positives in life can have a profound impact on your life. Consistently showing gratitude can be surprisingly difficult as many of us get caught up in the negativity bias, where we linger on bad news, unpleasant experiences, and allowing moments of positivity and good things to fade into the background.

Fortunately, gratitude is like a muscle that you can build. With the right approach and practice, you can find at least something small to appreciate even on the bleakest of days.

Gratitude is a way for us to appreciate what we have, instead of always reaching for something new in the hope to be happier, or thinking that we can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met.

Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have instead of what we lack. And, although it may feel pretentious initially, this mental state grows stronger with practice till it becomes a way of life.

Approaching life with a more positive mindset has cascading benefits in every area of your life.

Indeed, a grateful heart finds in every hour, some heavenly blessings to relish.

Just A Thought · kindness · Lifestyle

It’s the most wonderful time…

I love this time of the year; yes indeed, it could be the most wonderful time of the year for a whole lot of people – but truth be told, this statement might not hold the same sentiments for everyone out there due to personal reasons. However, that’s not what my post is about.

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I totally love the Christmas season not only as a firm believer and practicing Christain, but I also love the gaiety, the cooler atmosphere, the sense of wholesomeness et al. Nevertheless, this is one of the seasons that I find financially stressful where I find myself struggling to make the frayed ends meet and to satisfy certain obligations which entails buying meaningful and useful gifts, travel, upkeep etcetera.

Trying to choose the right gifts of family, friends, colleagues can become tedious especially when the money math is not mathing as it should, and you are struggling to ensure that you get something that they would appreciate and use. In all honesty, this year I simply decided that I would not go overboard with all the Christmas do’s and to keep things as simple as I possibly could.

I started making my purchases a bit earlier by not leaving my shopping to the last minute and from September I was adding gift items to my budget and sourcing for bargains/shopping deals. This approach has been immensely helpful. It was not only about the economics of things, but it is timesaving, less of a headache and allows one to exhale.

No matter how you are spending your Christmas – with loved ones, alone – or not at all, I wish you great compliments of the season and hope that we don’t lose sight of the reason for the season and stay kind to each other.

This Is My Life

Working out the kinks…

Isn’t it just wonderful when your body starts having aches and pains out of the blues and for no just cause. These days, I can step out of the house with no troubles and come back home limping – not due to a fall or such thing, but simply my aching joints choosing to protest.

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I recall yesteryears when I could twist myself into a pretzel, do deep squats without needing the ambulance and hold yoga poses that would make my present older self hyperventilate. If I must say so, getting older definitely requires more maintenance and one cannot slack off if they wish to age well and not have rigor mortis set in whilst they are still alive.

I have tried to cultivate the regular habit of exercising for at least half an hour or more, but my default mode is that my brain tries to get out of the exercising if it can. Since my gym subscription has expired and I am yet to renew it, I have resorted to good old-fashioned walking in the interim and for the first time, today, I did some chair yoga though I didn’t complete the session, I hope to carry on with it on a daily basis and see how that goes.

Honestly, a whole lot of stuff that we often took for granted when we were younger becomes a lot more hassle with time that right now, I find that I am so much more grateful for the little, mundane things that I never used to bother about before.

Hope you are keeping body and bones together. Much love.

Musings · This Is My Life

Mulling over things.

Don’t get me wrong, I am most certainly grateful about the gift of my life. I am happy to see each light of the day and to know that I have been blessed with another lovely opportunity to be in the land of the living.

Yet, there are days I wake up to how old I am, and I wonder how time ran so fast. Sometimes, I feel like I am still at the cusp of starting life ‘cos life begins after your 40’s after all, but my creaking joints tell the real truth of the matter and seeing obituaries of people you grew up with or once knew makes you realize that from the moment you were born, every day takes you closer to the grave.

I hate to sound morbid, but the fact is that none of us will get out of here alive, even the vampires had to die to continue to live in the dark. It’s just that my senses have become heightened to the fact that we don’t have all the time in the world especially since one of the persons I love most in the world has been diagnosed with Cancer.

I wonder how it is possible to feel numb and hypersensitive at the same time? I wonder why I feel as though all the past years of my life were lived with eyes half open and simply trying to tick the right boxes.

The human experience is common to us all and yet unique in our individual experiences. I may never be able to rewind the clock of the past and relive things with eyes fully open, but it has dawned on me that living intentionally and purposefully takes more than having a to-do list that is completed at the end of the day. Time to realign.

Blogging · mental health · Musings · Poetry/Poems

In My Head…

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He whispers.

planting ugly seeds

of despair,

 

a cacophony

from the messenger

 seeking to take refuge

 

in my head.

 

I whisper back,

not today, Satan!

never ever!

 

My whisper, more like a roar,

reverberates in my soul,

leaving shivers running from my tippy toes.

 

to my head.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha