A Nanny Goat and Her Young Ones….

November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

When we analyze the state of things and how it appears that norms and values, respect and everything have been eroded, it also occurs to me that as adults, parents, custodians and educators of the young ones under our care, we are equally failing in passing on these expected values, right norms, respect and all that is deemed to constitute a responsible human onto these young ones.

Behavioural skills, social norms and beliefs are learnt and they do not grow on trees. They are acquired through constant teaching and emulation. A child is only radicalized through the teachings of an adult or someone in a position of respect. A child is equally taught respect from early days!

The younger generation did not wake up spoilt! Not at all!

We the older generation loaded them with ammunition like kegs of gunpowder and it takes just a strike of a match for them to combust.

They watch and learn from us, add their own individuality and whatever the end result turns into is a product of that.

In essence a child is a by-product of his/her upbringing and society.

We should therefore hold ourselves 90% responsible for the spate of violence, moral decadence, loss of respect and every other vice that rears up its ugly head in today’s World.

We should not lose sight of the fact that we wield a lot of authority in helping these young ones form, therefore we should exercise it in the right manner.

A lot of times, when I take a look today at the my own life cycle, it does not fail to occur to me that the tenets which I have held mostly onto are those ones inculcated in me in my formative years and I daresay that those tenets are the ones that kept me from sinking, even when I furiously dug pits that could have caved in on me. “When a child is raised in the way that he should go, when he grows, he will not depart from it.”

Let me share a couple of African proverbs for today, and bid you a good day.

”When the nanny goat eats grass, it’s young ones watch her mouth and imitate.”

”If a child shoots an arrow that reaches the top of a tall palm tree, then it must be that an elderly person carved the bow and arrow for him.”

”The instruction of a child in youth is like engraving on a stone.”

”When a mother hen has been caught and killed, her chicks become easy prey.”

Once again, Chape thank you for inviting me to the quotes challenge. I shall extend the same courtesy to these awesome bloggers:

Danny

Maria Jansson

Jennifer Calvert

Kind regards,

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Feeling like an outsider is not a memory that I can latch on to easily as a child because while growing up, my parents home was teeming with family members, hard work and a lot of play that there was no room left to feel left out.

However, these silly pangs showed their green eyes during my semi-adult early years at the University.

I was a freshman and boy-friendless at that point in time, my senior roommates all had their heartthrobs, going out for parties and what have you and in a bid to feel like part of the crowd, I bowed to peer influence (which is not only very real but can be dangerous as well) and duly started dating to foster my own false sense of belonging.

Peer pressure can be subtly or out-rightly intimidating and when a budding young person is ensnared by some of these trappings of false freedom (away from home and parental influence that have cocooned you for so long) for the first time, it can be a combustion of a whole lot of factors, without paying mind to extraneous complications or consequences.

Sometimes, I look back and truly thank God from the depth of my soul that I did not wind up dead by some of the youthful escapades and exuberance that my adventurous self ventured into – a story that can create a book.

Now as a full grown adult, I have grown into my own sense of self-assurance, self-love, self-inclusion and belonging, sufficiently enough, to create my own windows and not have to peep into the neighbours own.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Outsiders

Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story · Tips for the day

I came, I live, I laugh, I love….What about You?

November 18, 2015November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

No one likes to dwell on thoughts of death, but the grim reaper is a visitor that likes to call uninvited. He doesn’t ring any door bells when he arrives otherwise he will not meet anyone at home.

So like a thief in the dead of the night, he slinks in!

Since death is an inevitable fact of life that can happen at any time, should it matter to us that our sojourn here on mother earth is remarkable?

Should it not matter to us that we live our lives in such a way that when we kick our individual buckets we would have left a mark that warms the heart of those who remember us and not a shudder of dread with a muttered “good riddance to bad rubbish?”

For all that it is worth, the part of leaving heartwarming thoughts behind appeals to me far better than being a grimace on someone’s face.

If I am well off enough to leave a few heirlooms to loved ones here and there, that would be very nice and dandy, but I think the most important things that I would like to be remembered for are encapsulated in these simple words:

”I came, I lived, I laughed and I loved.”

I came, because I am presently here and was purposefully brought into existence.

I am no mistake (no child is a mistake no matter the circumstance of birth).

I lived.
By being myself
By doing what I love…writing, reading, learning, dancing, talking, drawing, eating and so on…
Living a purpose driven life.
By spending time with my loved ones.
Helping others and sharing with others as much as I can.
By being thankful.
By keeping healthy and exercising.
By mentoring and life coaching both for others and for my own benefit.
By keeping stress at a minimal level.
By dumping the negative thinking.
By forgiving and moving on.
By appreciating nature.

I laughed.

Growing a sense of humour even self-deprecatory humour is healthy.
Laughter is a healer. It is music and fireworks to the soul. Life is so much better with laughter and I want a life enriched with laughter.

I loved.

I would love as much as my heart can expand and the heart can expand so, so much when we give it the chance to do so.

I want to live so that when I die, even the undertaker would be sorry that I am gone.

Not a particularly cheery topic right? However, when you dwell on it, it actually helps to streamline ones purpose and priorities.

So do tell, what part would you like to be remembered for? Heartwarming or Grimacing?

NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?

Devotions · Gratitude · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

In Everything…

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha31 Comments

It is often too easy to express gratitude and thanksgiving when everything seems to be in the right place in our lives and around us, and such a hard task to have a grateful heart when everything seems to be falling apart.

No doubt, it is not an easy task to remain on the upbeat and positive, but we should not tarry too long in the doldrums.

Nature abhors vacuum and if at the point in time when our spirits are very low and we fail to fill that gap made with edifying and uplifting emotions, habits, thoughts, reactions etc, the vacuum will be filled with defeatist spirits, with oppressive moods that will suck us down into a pit that requires so much energy to climb out of.

Sometimes, some are never able to regain their sense of self and things spiral out of control.

When things are falling apart, we must struggle to keep our sense of grace, gratitude and thanksgiving, because in deed, in everything we give thanks and our heart of thanksgiving, of gratitude will only expand our coast.

There is a time and season for everything and though darkness may come at night, surely there will be light at day.

For today’s gratitude choice, I am grateful for the light of day.

I am grateful to be among the living and know that I still have the chance today to make better that which I failed yesterday.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to dwell on the things that are important.

I am grateful that even in the time of war that there is still love existing.

I am grateful that I am safe and of sound mind.

I am grateful that the simple things of life are accorded to me from above.

I am grateful that I have met friends such as you in this space and thankful for all the love that I see floating around in this space.

I am thankful for a friend like Oneta Hayes who has gone out of her way to say lovely things about me; I heard through the grapevine 😉 My lady, you are a gem 🙂 Bless your golden heart.

Let us not lose sight of the fact that no situation is permanent that ”this too shall pass” whatever it is and we must make each day count in beautiful ways.

What are you grateful for? When you count your blessings and name them one by one, it will surely surprise you at how much you are blessed.

Shalom

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life

Accepting Me….

November 17, 2015November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha40 Comments

Arriving at a state of confidence has been a journey of a lifetime for me. False bravado can be easily mistaken for confidence but the difference in the two lies in that one can be likened to a wisp of cloud that fizzles away and the other the formation of a whole sky.

It has been a hard won process of learning to love and accept myself, mistakes, warts and all; not because I am perfect but because I am enough, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, because I am a blessing and not an illusion, because I can and will be.

It hasn’t always been so, but time and grace has made me grow very comfortable in my own skin, able to hold my own fort and sensible enough to know that honesty and integrity makes a wholesome human. Honesty breeds confidence because you can stand tall.

In the process of regeneration, there have been times when I have felt like a fraud.

When I felt like I wasn’t up to snuff and that I was simply putting on a facade, but faith and positive affirmations stood in the gap for me and reminded me that I am what I choose to be, that I should not have fear of being found wanting but to have courage because He is.

The Daily Post prompt The Great Pretender

Are you full of confidence or have you ever suffered from Imposter Syndrome? Tell us all about it.

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

How Complete Do You Feel?…

November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha29 Comments

As the days go by, I have truly realized that contentment and peace are not items that can be borrowed, purchased or stolen.

No amount of prosperity or material gains can put something in a soul that is derelict or lacking and no other human is responsible for my happiness but myself.

One can aim to attain the satisfaction of living a complete life from within themselves and not from without.

Personally, I don’t tie the state of my well-being to anything that lacks intrinsic value outside myself and God.

It is a continuous pursuit for me and I strive to achieve this state of being by:

Trying to understand myself and what truly makes me happy.
Staying in tune with my responsibility.
Seeking enabling ways to free my mind and de-stress.
Finding positive things to do.
Strengthening my health and finances.
Extending kindness to others.
Pursuing my passion and interests.
Maintaining good relationships.

Keeping my life simple and trying not to worry as much about things that are not within my power to change but doing my absolute best to change those that are within my line of sight and control.

With all these things on a balanced scale, I feel excited and alive, knowing that each day, I give life my best shot because tomorrow is not guaranteed anyone.

I cannot afford to extend the promise of living and feeling as complete as I can in expectation of events which are merely temporal and may never arise.

Traveling to see new places, buying the little niceties that I can afford to buy are just toppings on a life to be savoured.

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Tuesday, November 17

What is one place you need to see to feel like your life is complete?

Creative Writing · Devotions · Family · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You

A Single Palm Frond Cannot Weave A Basket…

November 17, 2015November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha23 Comments

Honestly, I enjoy quotes because these short words tell succinctly, lessons that an entire book may be unable to tell. Thank you Chape for inviting me for a round of 3 quote challenge.

Events of the past couple of days have made me dwell so much more on thoughts of unity and prayer, because as we know very well that, in unity we stand, but in division we fall.

I remember when we were much younger and would get into squabbles with each other, my mother was the constant peace broker and she would use simple demonstrations to teach us certain things. Let me share one of them with you.

We had several old woven baskets which were used for storing spices or herbs in the house and she would fetch two of these baskets which were special handiwork of Nsukka tribeswomen – it’s weaving was not so intricate yet effective.

She loosened a bit of the frond at one end and asked each of us to pull at a strand, and the basket unraveled.

‘‘Can one palm frond make a basket?” She inquired.

”NO, Ma!” We answered in unison.

Comparing the unraveled basket and the one that stood intact, she asked us which one was useful in its state and we pointed at the one which was still intact.

”You are one when you stand together and you would be of good use.” ”When you choose to unravel and stand alone, you serve no purpose to anyone and you are weakened because your frond can be bent and broken, while the fronds that are intact cannot be broken together.” She intoned.

Let us remember to band together in prayers, in wisdom, in strength and in positivity to be of good use.

On that note, I will leave you with these African proverbs:

”If you wish to go quickly you go alone, but if you wish to go far, you go together.”

”When trees stand together they make a forest.”

”When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.”

”Two ants do not fail to pull one grasshopper.”

I would like to invite these awesome bloggers to participate in the quote challenge:

Dr Meg Sorick

anghulinghugotero

Maria Holm

Blogging · Family · Little rants · Social critic · Social Issues

Puhleez! Just Stop!….

November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha52 Comments

It is hard for me to desist from ranting about this dark sexual communication nonsense, because I have never felt that unnecessary railing over social issues resolves the problems, but consistent positive acts are the only way our society can change for the better.

No, I am not a hater and I am not discriminating! I also appreciate the good side of sex very much, but that is hardly the topic of my vexation.

It is not a religious rant! Being a christian does not make me any better than anyone else out there, neither does it place me in a position to judge anyone.

I am just a community minded human, who sees the wicked seeds planted carelessly out there with disregard to its consequences and they are disguised under the ambiguous blanket of freedom of expression.

I have plenty of my own planks that needs to be removed from my eyes each day, but one thing that I will not fail to try is to respect others, their sensibilities and propagate as much positivity as I can.

In the bid to be politically correct these days, truth is shunned and lies encroach like a wily burglar that calls when the owner is not around.

Stop hiding under the voluminous cloak of seeking sexual equality rights to propagate your filthy degrading acts.

These prolific dark pornographic communication targeted at young children are no different from those of men who use the cloak of religion to perpetrate heinous acts!

Excessive propagation of insane, extreme sexual proclivities in the name of campaign for sexual equality, is very much part of today’s problem.

Do these adults who spend time in selling these items for material gains, infiltrating the entire web with filth that should be kept in their dark minds and rooms where it belongs realize the wicked seeds of indiscreet promiscuity, sexual degradation and laxity that they sow into the lives of the upcoming generation?

Nowadays, such materials are available at the click of a finger which is such a crying shame.

Young impressionable children are targeted and fed with pornographic nonsense which takes root in their minds and breeds so much more negative repercussions than you care to think of and most of these young ones have these gadgets at their disposal.

We all wish for a better World and it starts from each and every one of us.

If you think that your acts don’t count, please think again!

Do show some care for the future generation.

Life does not end with perverted selfishness.

An intelligent person can make their arguments known without the graphic bestial nonsense that is put out there.

I was thoroughly shocked this morning as I went through my reader and opened a seemingly innocent blog only to have my eyes pop with the graphic pornographic video content of this blog.

Nowhere did it indicate adult above 18 content.

I am not preaching to anyone to change their lifestyle.

Far from it! Someone’s lifestyle is their prerogative.

Just Act Responsibly! Or is the mental decency acuity dead as well?

This is simply irresponsible of this blogger and wrong on so many levels.

Pornography gives birth to hydra-headed monsters. You may like to read this article.

You know yourself and I am chewing your ears.

It might not mean anything to you, but know this and know it well, PROVIDENCE never forgets.

Have we become such a selfish generation filled with entitlement and gratification that we have become so desensitized while we are busy selling ourselves the mantra that it’s only our happiness that matters?

I rest my case.

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Little rants · writing ideas

One-In-Town! Limited Edition!….

November 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha34 Comments

In my opinion, the dish washing machine producers simply didn’t think the production of this useful apparatus through when they were making it, except they indirectly created an automated cupboard for washed crockery.

It is really tiresome to engage in loading plates and off loading plates, then using the same plates within hours of washing and offloading and the hamster cycle continues.

My plates seem to live in the dishwasher more often than not except my fine china, which is brought out for auspicious August visitors and I dare say, that this is the case in a lot of homes.

With my tongue in my cheek, I know several African friends of mine whose dishwashers are mere items to decorate the kitchen and only put to use once in a while.

As a matter of fact, we actually end up washing the dishes ourselves and putting them on a plate rack to dry. Less trouble that way.

In that light, I am embarking on reinventing the dishwasher with an assistant attached to do the loading and offloading. Not that I am much of an inventor 😉

Who knows, I might come up with a fangled sophisticated new plate loader and off-loader.

Please queue up for your own limited edition of this one-in-town apparatus.

You can put down your name below, with required specifications and preferred colour 🙂

It’s first come, first serve basis!

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Monday, November 16

Pretending you have the expertise to make the product a reality, what do you wish you could invent?

image credit: gogobambini.com

Creative Writing · Fiction · Love · Short Stories

The Red Head and Her clunker….

November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha16 Comments

What! Pierre held from cursing himself blue in the face.

His bicycle was bent out of shape by the colourful clunker belonging to his new neighbour.

It was time to have a word with her.

He was intrigued more than he admitted. For reasons unidentified, her humming as she carried pots and bouquets of flowers back and forth got under his skin.

Endless aroma of baked goods which wafted constantly through her open french windows did not help matters.

In the evenings, her tinkering with pots and pans and sound of music floated up to his apartment. He deliberately left his window open to hear her, telling himself that it was for the fresh air.

She opened her door at the very first rap.

Her sunny smile showed perfectly capped teeth, unruly red locks tumbled over freckled shoulders and shiny hazel eyes that crinkled with mischief gazed up at him.

As he calibrated his thoughts to reprimand mode…

“Would you like some freshly baked brownies and coffee?” Offered her fruity voice.

An argument, he has just lost.

Inlinkz code

In response to the FFfAW photo prompt above. Thank you Priceless Joy for this challenge platform.