I always thought that I was strange till I became totally estranged not knowing when things would change or if one would become deranged
this is where I am truly me yet I feared my space for many moons caught in the mire of an arid desert that bogs us down getting through each day of life like a clown
with many faces that smile and scares with glinty tears, recurring fears and frozen scars forgotten in the sirens of deaths mounting toll and staying thankful to every lifesaving call
My state of being towards my blogging and writing has felt like a butterfly caught in a glass jar, but I guess it can’t be classified as anything other than ‘inertia.’ I have searched for the appropriate words, but they elude me. Every day, making a post has been on my mind and most times, I’ve opened my blog, stared at it, not knowing what to say, I simply close it.
A bazillion thoughts, yet none coherent enough to stay attentive. I wanted to say hello and ask how you are doing? I wanted to say Merry Christmas. I wanted to say Happy New Year. I wanted to share all my news – unfiltered – with you – and I will.
I need to get reinspired and reinvigorated. Life has had me on a rollercoaster of vicious challenges that sometimes, I feel as if my breath is being slowly cut off, but I will not dwell on such things at this moment. It sure feels good to type again, however, let me pause my typing and go visiting.
Rivalry has some positive sides. It might energize and motivate you. However, it should never hold such power over you that it diverts you from your own path and individual strength in a blind pursuit of others.
Daddy always said‘rise with the Sun so that you set the tone of your day,’ and throughout my growing up years, like clockwork, we rose way before the Sun.
Today the most important things I inherited from my dad are the ethics, the values, the wise words, the memories and the parenting influence that he had on my life.
Ever so often, a saying of his will echo in my mind and I feel suffused with the warmth of his presence albeit through his words.
As a child, I truly had no deep understanding of losing loved ones’ – not sure that I still do – and like the sunrise and sunsets of my young days, I felt that those that mattered most would always be there.
Well, I am deadly wrong. I think that life is so unfair to take away those we love and yearn for, on the other hand, I am deeply thankful that I had the opportunity to know such love.
Knowing what I know now, the glorious rise of each Sun, reminds me that I’m alive, that I must embrace the day and that there’s no time to waste in looking back at yesterday. By the time the sun sinks low, I’m reminded to leave every form of acrimony and as much as is humanly possible to end my day with a cleansed mind.
Below is a little tune from me. Excuse the croaky voice 😉
Oh I often sit and ponder
when the sun is sinking low
where shall yonder future find me
only God in heaven knows
shall I be amongst the living
shall I mingle with the free
wheresoever my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee
Oh the future lies before me
and I know not where I’ll be
wheresover my path may lead me
Saviour keep my heart with thee
My target was to come up with a poem using 7 days prompt words from Daily post. I almost abandoned ship, but glad I stuck to it and only 30 minutes later, I like the message that I derived from the compilation.
Fine. What does it really mean to be fine? Can I truly from the depth of my spirit say that I’m fine? Or is it just a superficial response to ‘how are you,’ so that I don’t make anyone feel discomfited by my true response which I suppose would be ‘heck no, I feel all raggedy and angry a lot lately.’
I wouldn’t even know where to start with my venting but here goes ‘ I’m not fine with the fact that my body does not want to age like fine wine.’ I have deep aches and pains from Fibromyalgia that not only causes discomfort but makes me grumpy a lot of times when the pain flares up.
I’m not fine with the fact that at this juncture in life I’m still struggling hard to get my dream of being an accomplished writer and blogger kick-started.
I’m not fine that the basic needs of life are still a huge hustle and that if I don’t work as hard as I do, I would probably be one pay cheque to destitution.
I’m not fine with the fact that I want to go back to school to obtain a degree in Writing & Publishing but that aspiration is still a pipe dream due to lack of finance.
I’m not fine that I’m grumbly and I feel ashamed at the deep-seated feeling of dissatisfaction that has found its way to wedge in my soul in recent times.
I’m not fine with the status quo and not prepared to keep quiet about it. I believe that to find a solution to a situation, you’ve got to be willing to bring it out into the open air and look at it candidly. Phew! I feel better just letting some of these thoughts out.
La di la, in all honesty, life is a struggle and not fine and dandy for many of us but it’s up to us to take a good look at our issues and to make extra efforts to live a fine life.
Would you donate your body parts? The thought of death always seems such a morbid topic, but it often comes to my mind especially after losing a loved family member. This is the reality of life; none of us will get out alive so we live with death drawing closer with every tick of the clock.
I pray that I will grow well into doddering old age, however, should fate decide otherwise and I cross the bridge whilst parts of me are still useful, would it not be better to give up any part that could help to keep someone else alive?
I know that my culture may not particularly favour such practices, then again, I won’t be needing them again, will I? I reckon that I would be smiling from wherever I am seeing someone else keeping a part of me alive and spreading love.
