Blogging · How To Tips · Life

Work woes…

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I know that millions of us have faced this dilemma and sometimes, we are not sure which way to take out of the quandary. You are in a scenario where you are working just to make ends meet and find yourself stuck in a job rut for years on end. You are afraid to quit – because bills have to be paid, you don’t feel like searching for a new job – because you are comfortable in your stagnation and the uncertainty of starting anew occupies space in your mind, hence, it’s a case of the evil God known is better than a good God unknown. You are not particularly enthused with your colleagues maybe because of so many reasons better left unsaid. Simply put, the job has lost its allure.

There are ways to pick yourself up, to boost your mood and to get past the difficult period at work.

Take time away from your desk

Doing so does not equate scrolling the pages of social media, surfing the internet or idling by the water cooler when you should be creating a document or filing a report. Ensure that you take the necessary breaks owed to you and use them diligently. Try and fit in something that you truly you love during your lunch break whether it’s reading a book, going for a cup of coffee at the café in the neighbourhood, meeting up with a friend, heading to the gym, taking a walk, or a Zumba session, the time spent away from your desk will become something to look forward to and will boost your spirit.

Friends

In this aspect you can apply a two-pronged approach. Firstly, create time for your buddies no matter how tied up or how down you’re feeling. It is pretty easy to throw a pity party, retreat to the sofa and vegetate with a tub of ice-cream, pizza and what not, but at this point in time, what you truly need is to spend time with the people you love, people who love you and uplift you. Even a brief chat will remind you there’s more to your life than your present job. You can even pick up an activity, hobby or class to attend together and create more bonding time.

Additionally, make the necessary effort to build friendships with worthwhile colleagues. Though we are to remember to create the right boundaries in our workplace, It’s very rare that there won’t be even one person you get on with, and getting closer could make things more fun. Ask if your friend would like to go for lunch or borrow your book – anything to forge a bond.

Find laughter

Don’t be too glum faced and grimly serious about your job with your mouth turned down or in a straight line and a permanent frown on your face. Indeed, work has its serious aspect, but when you develop a playful aspect for yourself, you will be more lighthearted whilst accomplishing your set goals. As we laugh, we are better able to enjoy things. We release that sense of anxiety, frustration, pressure and undue stress.

Try harder

Truly, it’s a challenge not to develop an apathetic mindset when you’re interest in your job has waned, but don’t forget that at some point in time, you wanted this job. Putting in extra effort can be the difference in feeling bored at work and also makes time go quickly, besides, it gets you noticed. Portray yourself as someone who gets things done and others will be interested in offering you different projects etc. You really need to take things in hand and it might lead to a new, enjoyable and rewarding path.

Furthermore, you can think of better ways of improving your work processes and make suggestions to your boss or those who need to hear your thoughts. It will show that you are someone who thinks outside the box.

Personality pep-up

Though the workplace is an arena where everyone has to temper themselves a bit, but it’s vital that you don’t go too far to dampen your lively or interesting character. If you someone who never has anything to contribute or interesting to say, as a matter of fact, people will be least interested in talking to you or being around you. Engage in work related social activities, share your thoughts of interesting outside the job related topics when discussions are being held. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Inasmuch as you are unique, also remember to be a part of the whole.

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Blogging

Is this the end of an era?

For those of us who enjoy putting our thoughts down in writing and etching our memories in journals and blog pages hopefully not to be forgotten, it is kind of disheartening to realize that there seems to be a natural decline in blog posts, bloggers and blogging. Correct me if I am wrong, but it does appear that the continuously evolving, newer and shinier ways of Social media interaction such as Tiktok and many others that I don’t know of keeps eroding into the audience that was initially dedicated to blogs.

Readers keep minimizing and engagement has dwindled down to the barest minimum. From my own perspective, I think this can be attributed to various reasons,

Personal blogging is quickly becoming a thing of the past, but as I mentioned above, there are multiple types of blogging.

The type of blogging that’s still alive is probably content marketing.

I think that the main shift here is that personal blogging is focused on the writer/blogger whilst blogging with the purpose of content marketing is focused on the reader.

The question online writers today are faced with when content writing is “how to their readers solve their problems?”

And from my observation is that the bloggers thriving nowadays are the ones who are:

  • creating problem-solving content
  • recommending products (either affiliate products or their own) that further solve their audience’s problems

I feel that in as much as content marketing has exploded in other areas of the internet, like YouTube, Instagram, podcasting etc. the written word still remains powerful.

Nowadays, for the most part, I don’t think people are logging onto their computers or phones excited to check up on their favorite blogger/writers like before. Maybe it’s me, but I would love to hear your thoughts about the blogging phenomenon.

But Do People Really Still Read Blogs?

Photographs

The tale of 3 dogs…

“I don’t care for your type,’ she ruffed, strutting away with an air of importance, her cute little nose up in the air.

“Well, he’s a big boy and looks well-mannered.” “I don’t mind him,” Ms. Poodle sighed.

Here they go again, he thought.

Book · WordPress

Books, books and many more to read…

At various stages in my life, books that I have read and some that I recently discovered have impacted and shaped my life; including my own poetry books, and I know for sure that there are many fabulous treasures and invaluable words tucked away in many pages of books waiting to the discovered.

My childhood days were shaped by fairy tales and Enid Blyton books. My teenage years was a time of voracious and eclectic reading, from Harlequin Romance, Mills & Boon, James Hadley Chase, John Grisham and to anything legible and so forth. I soaked up many fictional literature like they were going out of fashion and spent a better portion of my pocket money on books.

It is said that knowledge is power, and the more we know, the more we can better ourselves. Now that I am well into my adulthood, many books have impacted my life and are still doing so. I find myself reaching out these days for books that don’t only help me to introspect, but serve as catalyst for change and growth in my life. Books that promote self-awareness and development, spiritual awakening, living purposefully, mindset, health, wealth and harnessing my potentials have become my staple although certain novels have tugged at my heart strings of late such as ‘And the mountains echoed by Khaled Hosseini.’

In recent times, it is no longer strange for me to be reading multiple books within the same frame of time and in the past few weeks, I revisited The Alchemist by Paul Coelho (previously read it because it was a rave at that time and now, reading it once again and discovering all the hidden gems/omens), No more Excuses by Brian Tracy, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I can credit the Bible and these books for the positive changes and growth that I experience each day

Writing and publishing two poetry books have played a major role in helping me heal from past traumas and given me an invaluable sense of self that was gained during the process. Right now, I am caught in the middle of authoring two books (well overdue) and what I have discovered so far in this writing journey is that words are living and breathing. They become you. They shape you.

Wellness · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The simple things…

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Joy. A simple word, yet it carries a whole lot of weight in it for far too many people are constantly in search of joy and many fail to find it as often as they should. I think the fault lies in having great expectations and waiting for things that are exceptionally good before they can have some iota of pleasure.

Connecting with my spiritual side and aiming to grow more spiritually aware, diligently practicing gratitude, choosing to have an optimistic and positive mindset, staying as fully present and living in the moment are conscious steps that I take daily and these have helped me to continually create more positive emotions for myself.

For me, the simple every day things of life bring joy to me and helps enhance my sense of wellbeing. When the work day is over, the thought of going home to my place of comfort consistently brings me pleasure. It’s not that I don’t like going to work, but knowing that I get to return home to my place of refuge where I can choose to lounge in my pajama’s, relax, exhale, be with my family etc. makes those hours spent pursuing the daily bread worth the effort.

My children are a constant source of joy for me. Listening to them share their dreams and work towards them, watching them grow into independent young adults and experiencing their wins in life brings me an immense source of wellbeing and accomplishment.

At the start of each day, I make my to-do list and set little goals that ultimately contribute to achieving my bigger goals definitely makes one feel good. There are many days that I am unable to do all the things that I set out to do, but I have also learnt not to guilt trip myself, to be thankful for the things that I was able to do and not to dwell inordinately on the things that I failed to do.

As adults, we get bogged down with so much in form of rules, responsibilities and life that we often forget how to feel that unadulterated sense of bliss. I truly believe that living mindfully helps us to create, recreate and really experience that sense of happiness and bliss that we deserve.

I wish you joy.

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@beyondexisting.j

How to manage stressful mornings #fyp #deepthoughts #advice #decisionmaking #selfcontrol #emotionalintelligence #stress #Howto Our daily lives can start off on a stressful not and may even take unexpected turns that will make or mar an ordinarily simple day. In such situations, what matters most is not about what is happening to us, but how we respond to our experiences. How we exert self control knowing that wrong decisions taken under duress can be defining.

♬ Дикая львица – ALEX&RUS

Blogging · WordPress · writing challenge

Toddling down memory lane…

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Well, today’s prompt took me a few minutes or so to give my memory a jig and I must say that as I meandered through lanes of memories of yester-years, searching the nooks and crannies to see if I can pinpoint my earliest memory tucked away neatly in the recesses of my mind, waiting to be discovered as it jumps out at me and says ‘hello there, here I am and good to see you,’ I find fuzzy memories melding into each other and I am not quite sure again what happened when and which one came before the other.

Images of my childhood home, of close family members old, gone and alive; of lovely frocks, of sunny days and smells of the soursop, mango and cashew fruits, of the various sounds of music playing on my dad’s Grundig turntable, of the cries of younger siblings, the laughter and soft scolding of my mother, the pounding of the mortar and pestle – preparing native foofoo – the cosy smell of my grandmother and her shea butter, the drizzle of the rain and images of running out in the rain with neighbourhood friends as our mothers yelled at us to come out of the rain all flip through my mind like a TV series. Dainty echoes of yester-years wrap itself like gossamer across my mind and like the spiders cobweb, they all interconnect.

I do have some recollection of early days of kindergarten and some of the nursery rhymes learnt have stuck with me all these decades. One particular memory of having being left perched on a fence where I sat and cried so badly sticks out like a sore thumb. The boy, who happened to be so much older and bigger refused to put me down and I was unable to come down by myself. I think I refused to go back to the nursery after that incident and my mother was rightly concerned. I can’t remember how she resolved the issue and I don’t know why I have held onto this memory and why it didn’t get lost in the annals of my life.

I wish I could say that I have extra – ordinary – recollection and clarity of my toddler years in sequence, but I daresay that I truly don’t recall as much as I would have loved. Maybe, if I had an encounter with a hypnotist, who knows what one will discover under the intense state of concentration. I am not so sure that I really care to know as I doubt if delving so deeply into the past at this point in time in my life is truly worth the price. After all, the past is simply a memory trace of time lived and as whimsical or as eager as we may feel, we can’t go back there as we are living in this present moment.

I do understand that the exercise of reliving one’s memory can be essential as they not only teach us important life lessons that we can apply in our present and possibly the future, they also give us a sense of continuity, identity and purpose. Indeed, our memories shape us and make us who we are.

Keep making beautiful memories.

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Personal · Personal story · This Is My Life

These are not easy days…

My family is going through a very difficult financial time right now that each day is burgeoned with struggle. Each waking moment comes inundated with its own portion of challenges that goes beyond just getting through the day.

There are times when it’s truly hard to say that all is well when the struggle is tedious.

I go through bouts of depression and mental stress these days that I lose sleep and some days are much harder than others. Sometimes, I literally feel as if the quagmire of life is bent on swallowing me and I struggle to drag myself out of the funk.

Now as I grow older, I understand better and empathize with those who become overwhelmed with life and seek easy ways out of their pain. Sometimes, we are in so much unseenSerenity pain that the person right next to us does not even grasp the magnitude of our internal struggles.

Most times, these pains are not only in the mind, they affect other aspects of our body and who we are and a lot of times they are triggered by events out of our control. I am trying not to focus too much on the problems but to redirect my energy on possible solutions as focusing on the problems only amplifies them. I am also repeating the ‘serenity prayer’ to help me keep calm and absorbing the words

If you find it in your heart and with any change to spare, you can support me in your own little way. Shalom ♥

Everyday People · Family · Health · Life · Parenting

All in a brisk walk…

This morning I woke up with a foggy feeling in my head and it was as if I hadn’t slept at all. I felt lazy, and just wanted to continue lying on my bed, but I knew that doing so would simply set the wrong tone for my day and literally muttering ‘mind over matter, mind over matter’ I basically cajoled myself to crawl out of bed and take my antidote – which is to go out for a brisk walk, to get some fresh air and hopefully feel more alive in the process.

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My brisk walk can involve various things depending on my mood, either listening and humming to music that I enjoy with an occasional shake and a jig to accentuate the notes that hit home, listening to a podcast or any talk that piques my interest, venting in my head and going over an argument that I had with hubby and realizing that maybe I should have used a better punchline than I had; mentally deciding to save a punchline and use it to drive home my point, going over my to-do list in my head, making a shopping list, thinking of random stuff and just watching people go about their business…

I had almost come to end of my walk when an idea popped into my head out of the blues and I was so excited at the thought that I made a mental note not to forget to include it in my soon to be executed plans. Right as I turned into the bend leading to our apartment block, I ran into a young dad and a toddler – who by my assessment is barely more that 24 months – attempting to play football, and I slowed my pace to absorb the scene.

The man kept a few paces apart and kicked the ball towards his son. It’s either because the baby was wholly new to the game or wasn’t sure what to do; he missed it not once but four times. After each miss, his dad patiently walked towards him, picked the ball and kicked it again. I was silently rooting in my head for the little one and just as soon as I thought that he would miss it yet again, his little foot finally connected with the ball and he kicked it back with gusto. The ring of his delight and joy from his accomplishment had me applauding both of them and a huge smile made its way to my face.

A brisk walk of 40 minutes not only brought me such unexpected fullness, it drew home several pointers and set a positive tone for my day. During my grudgingly taken walk, I got inspired, I saw love and patience, I saw resilience and joy, I became energized, I gained more clarity and buzz that I wouldn’t have found in my cup of coffee. These little things we often overlook, they are the things that matter.

How is your week going so far?

Love · Musings · Philosophy of Life

To love or not to love?

Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most – Socrates

Sometimes, it seems far easier for our peace of mind to walk away from those in our lives who are so hard to love. Such situation is certainly a paradox in life. It can be tough and even most times exasperating loving someone who is indifferent to your attempts. I believe that the problem of such people stems from unresolved issues and they may have developed this mental defensive mechanism as a way of coping and in response to their secret concerns. Do we then stop loving them and walk away?

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Love is a choice; sometimes a deliberate decision. You can’t force it down someone’s throat or make them reciprocate what they don’t feel. I should think that it is far more pragmatic to love such a person and to pray for them from a distance because loving them up close can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.

Walking away from them should not be about abandoning them ‘cos love is what feeds and fills our soul. Love does not rush. It is patient! I guess we love them because we hope for and see potential for change.

Finance · Guide To Better Living · Health

Health and You.

My recent struggle with plantar fasciitis and aching body parts has made me stop and reflect seriously on the fact that the more advanced we supposedly become, the farther things change. From back in the days when my mother had the voluminous ‘where there is no doctor’ as a go to reference for most home remedies that she concocted and used to keep us germ free and as healthy as ever, and the time when your family doctor knew every nitty gritty detail about you and your family – from your scraped knees to your menstrual cycle, what your family liked for Sunday lunch, your dad’s finances and what have you – between then and now, there’s a vast difference in doctor and patients relationships.

It does appear that those days when your community doc would look at your hands, listen to your heartbeat galloping along, asks you to stick your tongue out and say ‘ah‘, checks your eyes and inquires about your bowels whilst palpating your tummy and so on have become history.

As I get along in age, the realization that visiting hospitals these days is no longer like my mother whisking me over to Dr. Ndukwe’s familiar consultation room, armed with her magical purse that contained all our medical cards and other mysterious objects, makes me not only sad about the golden times past but has also left me wondering how one can truly afford medical care in these times. It’s not as if any reasonable insurance is the most affordable thing in these parts.

It becomes steadily clear that with fewer overworked doctors and far more patients to see, your visit to see the doc might very well be a rushed affair that leaves you more perplexed than when you arrived. You are most likely not going to get a lollipop and a pat on the back and you will also be out of pocket if the visits become too frequent as you will have to pay for consultation fee and for other costs that pop out of the woodwork.

Truly, we need to take control of our bodies and have our own ‘where there is no doctor,’ sitting on our shelves. What’s your go to home remedy for aches and pains? Please feel free to share. You might be saving someone a lot of pain.