The school year is almost done over here, and I am left with so much mixed feelings. I am thankful for the fact that I will get some downtime to relax and rejuvenate as well as pursue my personal interests and passion. I most definitely won’t miss the early morning rush, though I still plan to wake up early and start my day with early morning walks and some work on personal projects. So, instead of lazy mornings during the holidays, I will fit in power naps and binge-watching movies during the day.
Some of my mixed feelings come from existential crisis of asking myself ‘is this it?’ ‘Are there other things that I should be doing instead of being confined within the margins of just getting by?’ ‘What next?’
Over the years, I have dabbled into so many things, my career trajectory has changed over and over again and except for the years before getting married and having children, I realize that most of my choices thus far have bordered on having a job and living in a survival mode of work, pay bills, repeat again and again, and to say the least, I am disenfranchised with living in such manner. My life is meant to be lived beyond mere existence and having near and dear one’s battle to save their lives from terminal illness has only highlighted this quandary for me.
I am praying that these forthcoming days of vacation will not only be tranquil, but they will also allow me time for deep reflection to gain more clarity. I may not know the direction of the future that lies before me, but I know that God knows and as He keeps my heart with Him, He will grant me uncommon understanding and vision.
Sometimes, I worry that I am not setting enough challenging goals for myself and as such not achieving as much as I could especially financially – and then such thought sends me into a heated effort to up my ante and push harder.
Then, I realize that what gets the better of me is that when I get caught by this bug, I go into overdrive and oftentimes, I end up setting too many goals and exorbitant expectations to match them; all with good intentions, but I tend to fail in following through when out of the blues, life chooses to start lifing and things then get overwhelming.
I am nudged with the fact that I am getting older and that if I don’t have certain ducks set in a row soon, that would be that, and I will be left clutching feathers. It is not that the thought is giving me sleepless nights, now and again, it simply feels like a hard knot sitting in my throat.
I am naturally a multitasker but recently, I chose to start practicing single-tasking as well as slow-living in most aspects of my life, where possible. Unfortunately, the exigency of paid employment makes it unaffordable to practice the 100 % slow-living approach. Nonetheless, consciously choosing to be intentional, to calm down and not rev my engine as hard and as furious as before, is proving to be far more helpful and even more productive than before.
My business right now is to really to strike the right balance and harmony in everything that concerns my life by focusing on quality over quantity, mindfully enjoying the present moment, prioritizing my values and experiences. Embracing this slower paced lifestyle has increased my sense of well-being, reduced my feelings of anxiety, helping me to cultivate a deeper connection with God and the world around me.
I’m finding that the case of ‘not how fast, but how far’ stands true and possibly wins with time.
Though it’s not always easy, being grateful for the positives in life can have a profound impact on your life. Consistently showing gratitude can be surprisingly difficult as many of us get caught up in the negativity bias, where we linger on bad news, unpleasant experiences, and allowing moments of positivity and good things to fade into the background.
Fortunately, gratitude is like a muscle that you can build. With the right approach and practice, you can find at least something small to appreciate even on the bleakest of days.
Gratitude is a way for us to appreciate what we have, instead of always reaching for something new in the hope to be happier, or thinking that we can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met.
Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have instead of what we lack. And, although it may feel pretentious initially, this mental state grows stronger with practice till it becomes a way of life.
Approaching life with a more positive mindset has cascading benefits in every area of your life.
Indeed, a grateful heart finds in every hour, some heavenly blessings to relish.
I love this time of the year; yes indeed, it could be the most wonderful time of the year for a whole lot of people – but truth be told, this statement might not hold the same sentiments for everyone out there due to personal reasons. However, that’s not what my post is about.
I totally love the Christmas season not only as a firm believer and practicing Christain, but I also love the gaiety, the cooler atmosphere, the sense of wholesomeness et al. Nevertheless, this is one of the seasons that I find financially stressful where I find myself struggling to make the frayed ends meet and to satisfy certain obligations which entails buying meaningful and useful gifts, travel, upkeep etcetera.
Trying to choose the right gifts of family, friends, colleagues can become tedious especially when the money math is not mathing as it should, and you are struggling to ensure that you get something that they would appreciate and use. In all honesty, this year I simply decided that I would not go overboard with all the Christmas do’s and to keep things as simple as I possibly could.
I started making my purchases a bit earlier by not leaving my shopping to the last minute and from September I was adding gift items to my budget and sourcing for bargains/shopping deals. This approach has been immensely helpful. It was not only about the economics of things, but it is timesaving, less of a headache and allows one to exhale.
No matter how you are spending your Christmas – with loved ones, alone – or not at all, I wish you great compliments of the season and hope that we don’t lose sight of the reason for the season and stay kind to each other.
Why do we have to wait for someone to die before we let them know how much we appreciate them and how much they mean to us. Why do we have to wait for someone in our lives to die in the midst of their struggles before we realize that maybe there’s something we could have done to make their lives a little bit better, even if what we can do is only in small measures.
A lot of times we shy away from helping others because we are so caught up the quicksand or miry bog of our own issues and life’s challenges that we lose patience with anyone else who comes to us with their problems. We love success stories but never the messy journey that led to the success, and sadly, if someone is not a ‘success’ based on parameters set by society, they often get lost and forgotten in the midst of a crowd.
In this week alone, I have come across posts of people’s passing – known and unknown – some were under very pathetic circumstances and caved under the weight of their struggles.
You don’t have to do so much to make a difference in someone’s life today. Let those you care about know how much you do care about them. Buy them flowers whilst they still live and not a bogus wreath to place on their tombstone or shallow grave when they are no longer there.
It’s been ages since I participated in SOC’s and this prompt ‘left alone’ for the stream of consciousness that I just came across made me laugh out loud and sigh as well, as it pretty much sums up my situation at present. Though I have been dodging writing about this situation due to my mixed feelings, but I guess this is my prompt to talk about it.
These past couple of months, we sent off the children to continue their schooling in Canada as college fees in these parts are literally untenable and you need to have heavily lined pockets to afford putting your children through college/university here. For nationals it is freely funded whilst immigrants have to sell some vital organs in order to get their offspring educated in the higher institutions. So, being that my kiddos are Canadian citizens, it’s far more reasonable for them to continue over there, to reacclimatize and to start charting their course in life.
Whilst on one hand I feel relieved that we have this major aspect of things sorted, I feel bereft at being left alone in the interim. I have never been apart from my children and their physical absence leaves the house far too quiet for my liking, that I have taken to leaving the TV on for background noise which is simply out of character for me as I am not much of a TV person.
Thank the Gods of technology that we can make video calls and talk for as long as we want. It helps to take the bite off the ‘flown the coop’ feeling that I keep having, but it is not the same at all. I feel lonesome and I miss being needed. I miss the warm hugs. I miss their squabbles and laughter. I miss the ‘mum I am hungry’ requests. I miss the delight that they express after enjoying a nicely prepared home-made meal. I miss listening to their ideas. I miss my shopping companions. I even miss having the kitchen dirtied up when they try their culinary fingers on one recipe or the other. I miss many things that a list would be endless.
I presume this is a precursor to what it means to be an empty nester and I can categorically state that ‘I don’t like being left alone.’ I look forward to joining my kids in some months down the line and I will savour all the moments spent together.
For those of you who are empty nesters, what are your coping mechanisms?
Laughter. Music for the soul that’s absolutely contagious. When you see someone laughing at a joke that you can’t hear, chances are that you will smile anyway – even if you don’t realize it.
You do know that laughter improves your overall health? It is a strong medicine that triggers healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. It is a stress buster that diminishes pain, boosts mood and improves our emotional health, strengthens the immune system and grants us a better outlook to life – it even adds more years to our lives.
When we were younger, we laughed over little things countless times a day but adulting makes us become unduly serious about life, with laughter growing less frequent in our lives. Just like the way that we seek out food to fill our belly’s we must seek the nourishment of humour and laughter. Have you ever wondered why comedians never go out of fashion? People pay them to make them laugh.
Sweet peals of laughter trigger the release of endorphins – the body’s natural feel-good chemicals and these endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being. We cannot undermine how much laughing is good medicine for the mind and body. A powerful antidote to conflict and stress. These peals lighten your burden, uplifts your spirit, relaxes your whole body, helps you connect to others, inspires hope and lightens your mind of anger and unforgiveness.
A recent fad I learnt off boasts that laughter burns calories, though I wouldn’t ask you to quit your gym subscription, your daily dose of walking or to join a laughter fest, but finding ones’ funny bone is worth its weight in any priceless gem that you can think of. This priceless serum is absolutely free. It comes without any manual and fun to use.
How to bring more laughter into your life Laughter is your birthright. Babies start smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born and even if you did not grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life.
Set aside special times to seek out humor and laughter, as you would with any hobby that you are interested in cultivating. Eventually, you’ll want to incorporate humor and laughter into the fabric of your life, finding it naturally in everything.
Spend time with fun, playful people. Those who laugh easily at themselves and at life’s absurdities–and who routinely find the humor in everyday events. Their playful point of view and laughter are contagious. Even if you don’t consider yourself a lighthearted, humorous person, you can still seek out people who like to laugh and make others laugh.
An essential ingredient for developing your sense of humor is to learn not to take yourself too seriously and laugh at your own mistakes and foibles. As much as we’d like to believe otherwise, we all do foolish things from time to time. Instead of feeling embarrassed or defensive, embrace your imperfections.
Life brings challenges that can either get the best of you or become playthings for your imagination. When you “become the problem” and take yourself too seriously, it can be hard to think outside the box and find new solutions. But when you play with the problem, you can often transform it into an opportunity for creative learning. It is important to use humor to overcome challenges and enhance your life. Laugh out Loud!
I know that millions of us have faced this dilemma and sometimes, we are not sure which way to take out of the quandary. You are in a scenario where you are working just to make ends meet and find yourself stuck in a job rut for years on end. You are afraid to quit – because bills have to be paid, you don’t feel like searching for a new job – because you are comfortable in your stagnation and the uncertainty of starting anew occupies space in your mind, hence, it’s a case of the evil God known is better than a good God unknown. You are not particularly enthused with your colleagues maybe because of so many reasons better left unsaid. Simply put, the job has lost its allure.
There are ways to pick yourself up, to boost your mood and to get past the difficult period at work.
Take time away from your desk
Doing so does not equate scrolling the pages of social media, surfing the internet or idling by the water cooler when you should be creating a document or filing a report. Ensure that you take the necessary breaks owed to you and use them diligently. Try and fit in something that you truly you love during your lunch break whether it’s reading a book, going for a cup of coffee at the café in the neighbourhood, meeting up with a friend, heading to the gym, taking a walk, or a Zumba session, the time spent away from your desk will become something to look forward to and will boost your spirit.
Friends
In this aspect you can apply a two-pronged approach. Firstly, create time for your buddies no matter how tied up or how down you’re feeling. It is pretty easy to throw a pity party, retreat to the sofa and vegetate with a tub of ice-cream, pizza and what not, but at this point in time, what you truly need is to spend time with the people you love, people who love you and uplift you. Even a brief chat will remind you there’s more to your life than your present job. You can even pick up an activity, hobby or class to attend together and create more bonding time.
Additionally, make the necessary effort to build friendships with worthwhile colleagues. Though we are to remember to create the right boundaries in our workplace, It’s very rare that there won’t be even one person you get on with, and getting closer could make things more fun. Ask if your friend would like to go for lunch or borrow your book – anything to forge a bond.
Find laughter
Don’t be too glum faced and grimly serious about your job with your mouth turned down or in a straight line and a permanent frown on your face. Indeed, work has its serious aspect, but when you develop a playful aspect for yourself, you will be more lighthearted whilst accomplishing your set goals. As we laugh, we are better able to enjoy things. We release that sense of anxiety, frustration, pressure and undue stress.
Try harder
Truly, it’s a challenge not to develop an apathetic mindset when you’re interest in your job has waned, but don’t forget that at some point in time, you wanted this job. Putting in extra effort can be the difference in feeling bored at work and also makes time go quickly, besides, it gets you noticed. Portray yourself as someone who gets things done and others will be interested in offering you different projects etc. You really need to take things in hand and it might lead to a new, enjoyable and rewarding path.
Furthermore, you can think of better ways of improving your work processes and make suggestions to your boss or those who need to hear your thoughts. It will show that you are someone who thinks outside the box.
Personalitypep-up
Though the workplace is an arena where everyone has to temper themselves a bit, but it’s vital that you don’t go too far to dampen your lively or interesting character. If you someone who never has anything to contribute or interesting to say, as a matter of fact, people will be least interested in talking to you or being around you. Engage in work related social activities, share your thoughts of interesting outside the job related topics when discussions are being held. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Inasmuch as you are unique, also remember to be a part of the whole.
There are those times when we think that things are not going the way that we hoped or planned. Our plan(s) seems to fall apart instead of coming together and as humans, sometimes, that sense of frustration sets in.
Countess times, our most important journeys becomes the ones that seem to lead us on a winding path that seems like the dead-end cul-de-sac, but to the glory of God there are no dead-ends. Adversity offers us opportunities to learn, to hope, to be patient, to trust, and to grow. Such seasons are inevitable in our lives and how we navigate them matters most.
When next you are experiencing life’s inevitable disappointments, don’t despair or panic. Never be reluctant to switch to plans, approach but don’t lose sight of the goal. Consider such setback as an opportunity to choose a different, more appropriate path.
Always have faith that God may actually be guiding you to an entirely different direction, a direction of His choosing and in line with His purpose for your life.
A dead-end to you may in actual fact be a highway set by God for you.
I find such questions like ‘who is your favourite author and why‘ truly mundane and it almost seems as if eclectic, voracious readers like me are strange. I had to give this a hard thought and sadly came up short in choosing a favourite fiction, non-fiction author or writer.
Again like colors’, it makes me wonder why I can’t simply be simple in my choices and just pick a name. I usually don’t sit on the fence when it comes to voicing my opinion even if it is a dissenting thought and I can be a bit too straightforward in saying what I think or feel.
I love reading and when I was pretty young, I stuck with my Enid Blyton’s and my teenage years were spent reading uncountable numbers of Harlequins, Mill & Boons, Hadley Chase, Tom Clancy, Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway and many more.
My reading tastes has been generally diversified and having taken an in-depth look at why this might be so, I have arrived at the conclusion that it is because I like multiple things, I see the world from multiple perspective, that I am a pluralist and many things are good and not just a singular thing.
I also see that liking different things will ultimately improves my social life and that’s fine not to fit into a mould clustering around any particular taste. Liking multiple things makes me, me.
Without trying to sound proud, I think that a wide taste in reading is a sign of intelligence, of intellectual curiosity, open mindedness, and a willingness to absorb new ideas.
Sometimes, I find that though a lot of people can be extremely intelligent but have very closed minds but the love of all kinds of literary genres implies the love of creativity, of actively seeking out new approaches and ideas and the ability to appreciate different paradigms.
a cooking pot and twisted tales 