Blogging

Mini pause…

September 21, 2025 jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment

I haven’t been posting as much for various reasons. I needed to take a mini pause. Sometimes, you pause in life to recount your plot and your steps. You pause to trace and ensure that you are still walking in alignment with your aspirations and goals. Sometimes, we stop running on auto and pause to take a deep breath, to review things with a clearer mind and regain or retain our vision.

The challenge with running on autopilot is that it begins to feel like someone else is driving, and not us. Our brains tend to develop an unconscious decision-making system so we can take care of routine tasks. It prevents us from overloading, yet at the same time it creates a monotony that can become predictably boring.

I realized that my days had quietly slid into autopilot, and I almost didn’t know how to backtrack and switch off. Here are some of the things I noticed about my autopilot mode:

My routine became highly predictable and filled with repetitive activities that were no longer so satisfying.

It seemed as if I was always on the go even when I wasn’t moving. I was not pausing long enough to reflect on how I was feeling or what I was doing. I was either busy, distracted, or both.

It felt as if I never had enough time to accomplish much and I was left feeling guilty, with the need to meet so many expectations.

A lingering sense of dissatisfaction and that need to meet up with unnamed expectations.

I have to keep consciously reminding myself that the autopilot mode of lifestyle is not the only form of living, but slow, intentional and conscious lifestyle helps me stay focused on my purpose and goals. Am I meeting them? Are they satisfying? If not, why not?

For me, a pause is more than slowing down. It means creating space to start paying attention, it means not letting my routine dictate my life and become like a noose. It means bringing more mindfulness to my daily life.

Unapologetic…

June 10, 2025 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

When I was much younger, I was never too comfortable in my own skin. At some point, I felt too tall and lanky and at other points, too busty and whatever not.

Gradually, I learned to do things with false bravado and doing them scared. I worked hard at trying to fit in by shrinking myself just to be liked by others.

My naivety was painful and I ended up being used or abused.

Life is a real teacher and I have long realised that shrinking myself from who I am to who I am not has never been about me, but about those who I struggled to fit into the box they wanted me to be in.

I have long learned that life created you to create a life for yourself and oftentimes, it means relearning how to live and be yourself authentically.

It means taking up space unapologetically without pushing anyone down to do so.

It means that I am enough and not too much. Anyone who thinks that I am too much doesn’t matter and should not belong to those I call my tribe.

My shift in mindset stems from the need to live fully. It emanates from a desire to prioritize self-authenticity and self-respect.

I know that standing my ground, could potentially discomfort others, but I have also come to understand that the right people will accept and celebrate all of me, will not be afraid of my living out loud nor seek to cut me down to manageable size.

The decision to no longer shrink, to take up space came after so many years of self-sabotage. I refuse to be a “background player” in my own life struggling to fit into strictures designed by others.

“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and herself only.” Maya Angelou

Guide To Better Living · Health · Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Finding my new balance.

March 29, 2025March 29, 2025 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

I stumbled across an old photo taken on a holiday trip to Strasbourg in 2000 and did a double take. Me. Younger of course. More energetic and much slimmer without putting in any effort. Twenty plus odd years ago, I never thought I would have to fight middle-age spread with gusto, come to think of it, in my teens and twenties, I truly never gave much thought to what older adulting entailed. I just lived life as it was, somewhat through rose-colored spectacles and very high expectations from life. Oh well!

Fast forward to present. I have hit the older lady age and it’s been a struggle to maintain a healthier body weight and lifestyle. Doing so is absolutely important, as it helps to keep many ailments at bay. The quest to lose the excess pounds has been an uphill task for me especially as it appears that just passing the confectionary aisle whilst shopping causes my scale to wince from extra pounds gained just by looking at cakes and cookies, coupled with the fact that some body parts are no longer as efficient as before.

To my surprise, keeping my balance has surreptitiously become a concern. It seems like I have unlocked a new fear; the fear of falling down and breaking something. This phenomenon started after my bout with plantar fasciitis 2 years ago, which thankfully, I’ve defeated through various lifestyle changes and losing over 10kg. However, one of the outcomes of this experience is that nowadays, I always think carefully about footwears that I purchase and how to pair them with my outfit before stepping out of the house.

Although I fancy thinking of myself as a fashionable lady, when it comes to my shoes, I truly have to consider not only what is suitable for the occasion but also its comfortability. At this point in time, as much as I admire those strutting around in heels and would love to do same every given moment, there’s no sense in me perching on stilettos and then hobbling back home with broken toes.

One thing I can say for sure, as a fashion enthusiast, I am never ever going to let myself fall to bits. No matter how old and wrinkly I grow, so long as I have my faculties ticking along, I will always do my best to look well put together. The teens and twenties were surely wonderful, but there’s a whole lot of magical years ahead and I will move with the times, creating my own rhythm and new balance.

Musings

Tuesday Thoughts…

March 25, 2025 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

I am on a short break and having a lazy morning. Last night, I had planned on having an early night so that I would wake up with the early bird and go for a walk – getting an early start on my day, but because I was up late nattering away with a friend who had called at night, I went to bed later than planned and my morning didn’t start off as I had wanted.

I could have easily ended the convo, but she was in such a chatty and cheerful mood that I chose to extend the chit-chat. When I woke up this morning, the sun’s rays were already licking my windowpanes that the early morning walk was dead on arrival.

I reshuffled my itinerary – pushing my walk to the later hours of sundown and sat down to attend to other things and to take a measure of my thoughts. I realized I wasn’t feeling so chipper maybe due to sleeping late and whatever but quickly decided that I didn’t want my mood to go south and get funkier.

Instead of mulling over the fact that my itinerary was impacted and a bit askew, I quickly responded to a couple of emails/proposals that if all goes as well as it should, the expected response will definitely put a smile on my face.

As I measured my thoughts, I reinforced these perspectives:

My focus throughout this year is to hold the reins of my thoughts in control as much as is humanly possible, to dwell more on the positives and to quit magnifying the negatives.

My focus is to remind myself of and to appreciate the bridges that I’ve crossed and not the paths where I fell.

My focus is to remind myself that sometimes, a late-night chit-chat adds more flavour to life than an early morning rise and that an evening walk might even pan out better today.

My focus is to be grateful for friends who find time to spend with you, for moments of gratifying laughter and meaningful chit-chats ‘cos as life’s stress mounts, such moments get further far and few in-between.

My focus throughout this year is to keep my energy flow in a high-vibrational frequency so as that my thinking, and feelings are aligned with positivity, love, compassion, and overall well-being. As such, I attract positive experiences and people into my life, and this includes my online experiences.

I eschew all forms of negativity that reduces my frequency and will avoid people who harbour such as they only emit negative emotions and energy, which can lower one’s vibrational frequency. They may have a pessimistic outlook on life, engage in negative habits, and spread negativity to others. Their low vibration affects your spiritual energy which is associated with negative emotions such as persistent feeling of sadness or anger, sluggish thinking, constant fatigue, apathy etc.

On a closing note, whilst partaking in online interactions, avoid those pages that only offer toxic, negative, distressing, gender-biased, dehumanizing posts. Those people are miserable and looking for company. They have nothing better to offer. Be wise ‘cos bad company corrupts good manners.

Inspiration - Motivation · mental health · Self Help

Stop the needless waiting now!

March 24, 2025 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

Time is ticking past.

How can you go through life postponing being happy and waiting for all the right situations to happen before you can feel happy? Here’s the sad news. The government will always consist of unconscientious and shitty people. Life will never truly balance. Things may never align perfectly at every point in time which therefore means that your wait is wasted effort.

However, the good news is that every new day we open our eyes presents fresh choices and chances and reasons to be happy. Life can be likened to a busy airport terminal, where happiness arrives and departs around the clock. The likelihood is that the opportunity to be happy has already arrived and probably departed whilst you were so busy fussing over your excess luggage. Most times, joyful, happy moments are right in front of you, but your mindset is unable to shift for you to notice and appreciate it because you are stuck on all the negative things going on around you.

Irrespective of all that may be going on around you, you can truly feel happier, be more productive, attract success, manifest your dreams and enjoy yourself whilst at it. Yes, it is not easy. It requires a lot of intentionality, and purposefulness, but when you shift your focus and the way you think, your perspective changes. When shift happens, your life changes. So, let’s keep getting our shift together.

Inspiration - Motivation · Monday Motivations

Never let yourself go!

March 17, 2025 jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

It is so easy to fall into a rut especially when life becomes monotonous that you can literally function on autopilot without paying much mind to what you are doing.

Consequently, weeks of functioning like that can lead to dissatisfaction which creeps in and we start feeling that life is a tedium and getting stuck in a rut can be frustrating and demotivating.

Life will seem like a tiresome cycle of chore, responsibilities, bills and expectations. Getting out of this sense of drudgery is seriously essential for our total well-being especially as adults who have a lot of burden to bear.

Every single day, I make conscientious effort to engage in wholesome activities that enhance my sense of purpose, peace and harmony.

I listen to music, I dance, I read, I go for walks, I exercise, I watch movies and comedies, I pray, I think good thoughts. I write, I create. I live in a dream world. I try to do things a bit differently.

Often, I wear vibrant clothes and colors as much as possible. I affirm myself every single day and so on and so forth. Practicing some form of self-care peps up one’s spirit and pulls you out of the doldrums.

What works for me, might not be your cup of tea, nevertheless, here are some strategies to help you avoid getting stuck:

Shake Up Your Routine regularly
Try something new: Engage in a new hobby, activity, or class to challenge yourself and discover new interests.
Change your environment: Rearrange your workspace, take a different route, or travel to a new place to stimulate your mind.
Mix up your social circle: Meet new people, attend events, or join a club to expand your social network.

Set Goals and Challenges
Set SMART goals: Create Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals to focus on.
Break tasks into smaller steps: Divide large tasks into manageable chunks to maintain momentum.
Create a challenge for yourself: Set a personal challenge, like running a marathon or learning a new language.

Practice Self-Care
Get enough sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep to help your brain function at its best.
Exercise regularly: Engage in physical activity to boost your mood and energy levels.
Meditate and practice mindfulness: Take time to relax, focus on the present, and reduce stress.

Seek Inspiration and Support
Read inspiring stories: Explore books, articles, or podcasts that share stories of overcoming obstacles.
Find a mentor or accountability partner: Connect with someone who can offer guidance, support, and motivation.
Join a community or group: Participate in online forums, social media groups, or local meetups to connect with like-minded individuals.

Embrace Failure and Learning
View failure as a learning opportunity: Recognize that mistakes are an essential part of growth and development.
Reflect on your experiences: Take time to analyze what went wrong and how you can improve in the future.
Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

You must remember that life is what we make of it and each day, we owe it to ourselves to make our living worthwhile.

Till next time.

Life · Lifestyle · Philosophy of Life

A pinch of gratitude, a basket of grace.

December 21, 2024 jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment

A little gratitude can do lots of wonders for your overall wellbeing.

Though it’s not always easy, being grateful for the positives in life can have a profound impact on your life. Consistently showing gratitude can be surprisingly difficult as many of us get caught up in the negativity bias, where we linger on bad news, unpleasant experiences, and allowing moments of positivity and good things to fade into the background.

Fortunately, gratitude is like a muscle that you can build. With the right approach and practice, you can find at least something small to appreciate even on the bleakest of days.

Gratitude is a way for us to appreciate what we have, instead of always reaching for something new in the hope to be happier, or thinking that we can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met.

Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have instead of what we lack. And, although it may feel pretentious initially, this mental state grows stronger with practice till it becomes a way of life.

Approaching life with a more positive mindset has cascading benefits in every area of your life.

Indeed, a grateful heart finds in every hour, some heavenly blessings to relish.

Creative Writing · depression · mental health · Poetry/Poems

Silently Loud…

August 4, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Photo by Juris Freidenfelds on Pexels.com

The silence in her life

rang like a loud bell

she wanted no one to hear.

The raging loneliness

sank into her bones

solace became one with her

she no longer knew

how not to be alone

The need to end her pain

beckoned in a beguiling manner

to succumb; an option she pondered.

Humans · mental health · Nature · Philosophy of Life · Poetry/Poems · Wellness

across the bridge…

July 20, 2022 jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

as we laid
your body down
and you crossed the bridge

to the other side

the airy wind
blew it’s gentle breeze
around us, it flowed

to the other side

a lone tear
escaped my eyes
racing to my mouth

I had promised
that I would
stop crying

but the calmness
of the air
reminds of your gentle ways

when will we
see you again, if ever,
my heart is pained.

For you my dear friend – departed – I wish not to say. May your soul find rest after all the pain. May you know peace and may your wings continue to flap gently in the wind. I see your smile. Though we know that none of us will get out of here alive, that death is part of life, yet, its sting is never lessened.