Blogging

Mini pause…

I haven’t been posting as much for various reasons. I needed to take a mini pause. Sometimes, you pause in life to recount your plot and your steps. You pause to trace and ensure that you are still walking in alignment with your aspirations and goals. Sometimes, we stop running on auto and pause to take a deep breath, to review things with a clearer mind and regain or retain our vision.

The challenge with running on autopilot is that it begins to feel like someone else is driving, and not us. Our brains tend to develop an unconscious decision-making system so we can take care of routine tasks. It prevents us from overloading, yet at the same time it creates a monotony that can become predictably boring.

I realized that my days had quietly slid into autopilot, and I almost didn’t know how to backtrack and switch off. Here are some of the things I noticed about my autopilot mode:

My routine became highly predictable and filled with repetitive activities that were no longer so satisfying.

It seemed as if I was always on the go even when I wasn’t moving. I was not pausing long enough to reflect on how I was feeling or what I was doing. I was either busy, distracted, or both.

It felt as if I never had enough time to accomplish much and I was left feeling guilty, with the need to meet so many expectations.

A lingering sense of dissatisfaction and that need to meet up with unnamed expectations.

I have to keep consciously reminding myself that the autopilot mode of lifestyle is not the only form of living, but slow, intentional and conscious lifestyle helps me stay focused on my purpose and goals. Am I meeting them? Are they satisfying? If not, why not?

For me, a pause is more than slowing down. It means creating space to start paying attention, it means not letting my routine dictate my life and become like a noose. It means bringing more mindfulness to my daily life.

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If only the world is run by women…

No, it is not a biased view because I am a woman, but because by virtue we are more empathetic, considerate, peaceful, and it does seem that we have more commonsense right now. Hear me out and after, you can argue with your keyboard.

I am tired of waking up each morning to one ugly news or bombing and goodness knows what; all perpetrated by narcissistic men with inflated egos, trying to show whose balls are bigger – meanwhile, some balls are shriveled, and some are non-existent.

I went to sleep with heavy concern about the bombing in Doha, after having to leave the mall where I was running some errands a little earlier than expected as the air was tense with whispers and they closed earlier than usual. It’s not so easy to cozy up under your duvet when trouble seems to be brewing all around the world and you are left wondering where all these shenanigans would lead.

Now back to my main thoughts, if women ruled the world there wouldn’t be any wars except maybe cold, silent wars with blocking each other here and there. We would have countries jealous of each other and trying to outdo themselves in the contest of ‘my country is the most beautiful country in the world.’

As women in leadership, we won’t start any needless skirmish that would require sending our sons to fight in another man’s land – maybe our exes if need be 😉

Our offspring will have no need to migrate to another woman’s home because we will do our darned best to see that they are fed and cared for in our beautiful country so that they won’t have to go to live in our jealous neighbour’s country to disgrace us.

We will definitely have disagreements that result into juicy gossips, long silences, countries unfollowing each other, blocking on all social media platforms, international shading and side-eyes, fighting through coded photos on Instagram, WhatsApp groups, Twitter, text messages et al.

If women ran the helm of affairs, we would be so focused on working hard at creating beautiful, clean and stylish cities, improving our health systems, educational systems, public infrastructures, homes for all, and raising decent men and women… so much so that the world would generally progress even if a lot of the progress is as a result of envy and jealousy borne out of the zeal to outdo each other.

If women ruled the world… a fantasy that might seem so far-fetched right now, but who knows what the future holds. At present, Finland is a case in point and whilst destructive missiles are floating over our heads in destructive mode, let me make my thoughts happy with my imaginations.

Though this is written in humour, deep inside I do know that the world would be way safer and happier with women running it.

Over to you.

Personal story · This Is My Life

Unapologetic…

When I was much younger, I was never too comfortable in my own skin. At some point, I felt too tall and lanky and at other points, too busty and whatever not.

Gradually, I learned to do things with false bravado and doing them scared. I worked hard at trying to fit in by shrinking myself just to be liked by others.

My naivety was painful and I ended up being used or abused.

Life is a real teacher and I have long realised that shrinking myself from who I am to who I am not has never been about me, but about those who I struggled to fit into the box they wanted me to be in.

I have long learned that life created you to create a life for yourself and oftentimes, it means relearning how to live and be yourself authentically.

It means taking up space unapologetically without pushing anyone down to do so.

It means that I am enough and not too much. Anyone who thinks that I am too much doesn’t matter and should not belong to those I call my tribe.

My shift in mindset stems from the need to live fully. It emanates from a desire to prioritize self-authenticity and self-respect.

I know that standing my ground, could potentially discomfort others, but I have also come to understand that the right people will accept and celebrate all of me, will not be afraid of my living out loud nor seek to cut me down to manageable size.

The decision to no longer shrink, to take up space came after so many years of self-sabotage. I refuse to be a “background player” in my own life struggling to fit into strictures designed by others.

“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and herself only.” Maya Angelou

Guide To Better Living · Health · Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Finding my new balance.

I stumbled across an old photo taken on a holiday trip to Strasbourg in 2000 and did a double take. Me. Younger of course. More energetic and much slimmer without putting in any effort. Twenty plus odd years ago, I never thought I would have to fight middle-age spread with gusto, come to think of it, in my teens and twenties, I truly never gave much thought to what older adulting entailed. I just lived life as it was, somewhat through rose-colored spectacles and very high expectations from life. Oh well!

Fast forward to present. I have hit the older lady age and it’s been a struggle to maintain a healthier body weight and lifestyle. Doing so is absolutely important, as it helps to keep many ailments at bay. The quest to lose the excess pounds has been an uphill task for me especially as it appears that just passing the confectionary aisle whilst shopping causes my scale to wince from extra pounds gained just by looking at cakes and cookies, coupled with the fact that some body parts are no longer as efficient as before.

To my surprise, keeping my balance has surreptitiously become a concern. It seems like I have unlocked a new fear; the fear of falling down and breaking something. This phenomenon started after my bout with plantar fasciitis 2 years ago, which thankfully, I’ve defeated through various lifestyle changes and losing over 10kg. However, one of the outcomes of this experience is that nowadays, I always think carefully about footwears that I purchase and how to pair them with my outfit before stepping out of the house.

Although I fancy thinking of myself as a fashionable lady, when it comes to my shoes, I truly have to consider not only what is suitable for the occasion but also its comfortability. At this point in time, as much as I admire those strutting around in heels and would love to do same every given moment, there’s no sense in me perching on stilettos and then hobbling back home with broken toes.

One thing I can say for sure, as a fashion enthusiast, I am never ever going to let myself fall to bits. No matter how old and wrinkly I grow, so long as I have my faculties ticking along, I will always do my best to look well put together. The teens and twenties were surely wonderful, but there’s a whole lot of magical years ahead and I will move with the times, creating my own rhythm and new balance.

Musings

Tuesday Thoughts…

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels.com

 

I am on a short break and having a lazy morning. Last night, I had planned on having an early night so that I would wake up with the early bird and go for a walk – getting an early start on my day, but because I was up late nattering away with a friend who had called at night, I went to bed later than planned and my morning didn’t start off as I had wanted. 

I could have easily ended the convo, but she was in such a chatty and cheerful mood that I chose to extend the chit-chat. When I woke up this morning, the sun’s rays were already licking my windowpanes that the early morning walk was dead on arrival. 

I reshuffled my itinerary – pushing my walk to the later hours of sundown and sat down to attend to other things and to take a measure of my thoughts. I realized I wasn’t feeling so chipper maybe due to sleeping late and whatever but quickly decided that I didn’t want my mood to go south and get funkier. 

Instead of mulling over the fact that my itinerary was impacted and a bit askew, I quickly responded to a couple of emails/proposals that if all goes as well as it should, the expected response will definitely put a smile on my face. 

As I measured my thoughts, I reinforced these perspectives:

My focus throughout this year is to hold the reins of my thoughts in control as much as is humanly possible, to dwell more on the positives and to quit magnifying the negatives.

My focus is to remind myself of and to appreciate the bridges that I’ve crossed and not the paths where I fell.

My focus is to remind myself that sometimes, a late-night chit-chat adds more flavour to life than an early morning rise and that an evening walk might even pan out better today. 

My focus is to be grateful for friends who find time to spend with you, for moments of gratifying laughter and meaningful chit-chats ‘cos as life’s stress mounts, such moments get further far and few in-between. 

My focus throughout this year is to keep my energy flow in a high-vibrational frequency so as that my thinking, and feelings are aligned with positivity, love, compassion, and overall well-being. As such, I attract positive experiences and people into my life, and this includes my online experiences. 

I eschew all forms of negativity that reduces my frequency and will avoid people who harbour such as they only emit negative emotions and energy, which can lower one’s vibrational frequency. They may have a pessimistic outlook on life, engage in negative habits, and spread negativity to others. Their low vibration affects your spiritual energy which is associated with negative emotions such as persistent feeling of sadness or anger, sluggish thinking, constant fatigue, apathy etc. 

On a closing note, whilst partaking in online interactions, avoid those pages that only offer toxic, negative, distressing, gender-biased, dehumanizing posts. Those people are miserable and looking for company. They have nothing better to offer. Be wise ‘cos bad company corrupts good manners. 

 

Philosophy of Life · Self Help

It’s a new year after all…

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

As always, the hand of time turns effortlessly and before you finish clinking your champagne glass, a day goes by, the 2, 3, and they all roll along to weeks, months and then its year end again, when we rush to meet deadlines, get to sing Christmas carols, feel warm and fuzzy and hey presto! Happy new year greetings are being exchanged once more and we are caught in the New Year resolution fever. 

Armed with good intentions, gratitude for the blessings of the past year and surviving the vagaries that comes with living, we eagerly usher in the New Year completely determined to do our best and to get the best out of the year.

A lot of us say things like: ‘this is my year,’ ‘this year will be magical,’ ‘I will have so many breakthroughs this year,’ etc. and the list goes on.

All well and good. Seeking to be better than we were and doing better than we did is always commendable, but the question remains, how dogged, dedicated and passionate are we to truly arrive at these demanding goals that we set for ourselves at the beginning of each year? Or are we just going forward making a wishful list without the backbone to see them through thereby leading ourselves down the path of breaking of resolutions before they have even taken off and multiple disappointments over time? There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but goals without the right systems put in place will place will most certainly fall apart.

As always, I say, live your best life in the moment, try to stay accountable so that you can be the best version of you each day every day in all ramifications and as the moments roll by, it is far easier accomplishing those aspirations. Of course, life happens and sometimes things outside our control happens. Nonetheless, it is not always about what happened to us that’s the issue, it’s about how we react to what happened. It’s about how we rise from the dust of a situation, dust ourselves off and keep pushing and most times, it is easier to pick up from where you left off when your actions are almost second nature.  

Think on these thoughts succinctly whilst attempting to revamp your entire life.
What are the deep lessons that you learnt the last 365 days of 2023 and how do you intend to leverage on them?

Happy New Year to you and your beloved ones’. May 2024 be kind to all of us.

Blogging · Writing · writing challenge · writing ideas

Days of my life…

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I can bet my last dollar or should I say dirham that I am the only person still writing Bloganuary prompts. Anyways, it’s the way things are and I have been balancing many nuts per se. Do I wish I had stuck to the prompts judiciously during the last week? Yes, I do, but unfortunately, I didn’t and I won’t beat myself over the head for it knowing all that I have been handling lately.

The thought of writing an autobiography has never been too far from my mind, though I still had to process the prompt. The need to write my autobiography is borne out of a survivors need tell their story and though it is a project that I plan to tackle during the sunset days of my life, hopefully many many more years ahead (who knows) maybe, it is time to chalk it down on the drawing board.

When reflecting on how I would title the chapters of my autobiography, I think it will be broken down in 3 main chunks – not cast in stone of course, but my thoughts twirl around:

Chapter 1: The early years of ignorance

Chapter 2: Then comes turbulence

Chapter 3: Survival and peace

Poetry Cards · Poetry/Poems

My tomorrow…

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my tomorrow came
when today arrived…
for yesterday I waited
on a day that I hadn’t seen…
hoping that if and when
it does come around…
there will be the light of change.

my tomorrow is here
yet my thoughts ain’t truly there…
for how can it be
when in fragmented pieces…
I watch…

the broken circles

of many yesterdays

Creative Writing · depression · Haiku · Poetry/Poems

strange and estranged…

I always thought that I was strange
till I became totally estranged
not knowing when things would change
or if one would become deranged

this is where I am truly me
yet I feared my space for many moons
caught in the mire of an arid desert that bogs us down
getting through each day of life like a clown

with many faces that smile and scares
with glinty tears, recurring fears and frozen scars
forgotten in the sirens of deaths mounting toll
and staying thankful to every lifesaving call

© Jacqueline


…life is never truly sunshine and butterflies

Life · Quotes For You

Unscripted…

Image result for images of life

Life is so unscripted,

that most times

when we struggle so hard

to get the best lines

we end up with the wrong parts.

©

Jacqueline