Tag Archive | Fear

Turmoil – Friday Fiction in Five Sentences

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Her heart thumped in nervous apprehension once she heard his Ford pickup pull into their drive.

What mood would he be in today? Belligerent? Happy? Drunk?

She just never knew what to expect from one moment to the next…explosive anger or a bouquet of flowers.

Of late, living with him was like constantly walking on eggshells.

On second thoughts and in no mood for any confrontation, she quickly turned off the television and tiptoed off to bed.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

So, what is the alternative? Personal – Writers Quote Challenge

If the truth is to be told, it is hard to stay thankful and grateful in the face of suffering and sometimes I silently question how Job withstood his painful ordeals without grumbling. Didn’t his heart even murmur a bit?invitation-shel-silverstein

For many months I’ve tried not to dwell on negativity, to remain thankful in everything because the truth is that the alternative to ingratitude sows bitter seeds of discord and cynicism, but in the past few weeks it’s been a struggle to stay upbeat and sometimes I feel as if I am a fraud spouting thankful words that are not deep-seated within my soul.

My rancour comes from watching a beloved young family member deteriorate healthwise – my younger sisters husband is battling an invasive brain tumour and sometimes I feel so afraid that we are fighting a losing battle. Such thoughts simply make my heart stop in fear and my prayers clog my throat. It is hard!

I remember watching my father decline from Cancer and the pain of watching his pain broke my heart many times over. Yet, through all his struggles, he remained stoic, never voicing a word of grumble and held his Faith through it all.

Sometimes, I wondered where he got such grace in the face of such adversity and I remember this quote that he shared with me,

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live as if there isn’t and to die to find out that there is – Albert Camus

This quote has stuck in my head and always comes up when I’m between the hard rocks of fear, doubt and dwindling faith. It reminds me, that during the times of tribulation, are the times to hold on tighter. Though the difficult season may seem insurmountable, thankfulness lightens the burden of one’s load and I remind myself not to let go of gratitude especially when troubled.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Please join us for the reconvened Writer’s Quote Challenge that Bernadette, Haddons Musings and I have started. We would love to have you with us. Check this link for details.

Midnight Motivations and Musings 109…

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The niggling doubts that hound our efforts are the enemy of our progress and once undue attention is paid to such doubts, fear sets in.

It’s natural to question and think through a project that you want to embark on, but our reasoning and decisions have to be taken from a logical standpoint.

Like my people would say ‘not everything that crawls on its belly is a snake,’ in other words, not every doubt that comes up is worth the time of the day. Keeping focused may be difficult but it’s worth the while to keep one’s eyes on the objectives.

Over the past few months, I’ve had struggles, but I’ve refused to let these struggles define nor stop me and each day, the burden of doubt reduces.

Jacqueline


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Midnight Motivation and Musings 105

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Worry and fear are intermarried and no one likes how both make you feel, yet it’s often difficult to stop and they tend to grow in enormity until they become huge factors that occupy they mind of the troubled person.

Worrying can be helpful if it spurs you to take the necessary actions to solve a problem.

However, if you’re preoccupied with all the what if’s and the worst-case scenarios, it turns into fear and becomes a problem.

Persistent doubts and fears can be paralyzing because they will sap your emotional energy, raise your anxiety levels even induce possible panic attacks and affect your daily life as well as how you view things.

Persistent worrying is a mental habit that you can break, but it will require training your mind and body to stay calm while maintaining a more positive perspective towards life.

There’s a little trick that I’ve been implementing for years now and it’s helped me in enormous ways.

  • I created a worry period by choosing a specific time and mostly early in the morning when I wake up and about to do my meditative prayer. This way, I de-clutter my mind as much as possible and reduce all sources of anxiety before my day takes off. If possible choose a set time and place for worrying and during the worry period, let yourself dwell on the issues on your mind but for the rest of the day, maintain a worry-free zone.  The best way to get a handle on this is by writing down the things bothering you and go over them one by one, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for it.

Having a period to worry over issues is effective because it helps you to break the habit of dwelling on them when you’ve got other things to do. You are neither suppressing these thoughts but simply apportioning time to them as you do your other daily activities and as you keep up with the practice you will find that you have the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts and to be in better control.

All the best.

Jacqueline

P.S: I hope to see you at our online party this weekend. It’s always a good time 🙂


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

‘A Richly Layered and Passionate Read.’ Jan Cliff

Out of the silent breath

If you enjoy my works, you can fuel my creativity with a cup of coffee or a slice of cake😉

Midnight Motivations and Musings 104

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To draw a line between fear-based and love-based decisions can be daunting even when our choices are made out of love.

However, we can get better hold and clarity of our choices when we invest a little time in thinking over the basis of our decisions. Am I doing this because I am afraid? If I wasn’t afraid, would this still be my choice?

Try to get to that fearless place in your imagination and figure out those thoughts and decisions that still have energy and those that their fire has dwindled when the steam of anxiety/fear is taken out.

Choices made out of love and true conviction are far more enduring.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

I absolutely love this book of poems. My favorites are “Love Rations” (for those who love to give the silent treatment) and “Beggars Supper” (which definitely pulls at the heart strings). Two thumbs up!!

Out of the silent breath

If you enjoy my works, you can fuel my creativity with a cup of coffee or a slice of cake 😉

Just hang in there…personal

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Honestly, I’m thankful that it’s almost weekend over here and the school exams will be done with tomorrow.

I notice that not only is my mental acuity flagging from all the drilling revisions with the children, coupled with other responsibilities, I also feel a bit tense, so the weekend will be a most welcome pleasure.

The brilliant aspect is that all the grilling revisions are paying off. My first son’s exam grades came in looking shiny, so such news energized me a bit and I’m totally grateful because his subjects gave me more concern than those of his siblings.

The truth is that I secretly nursed an occasional thought of anxiety at his results at the back of my mind but I knew that since fear or worry wouldn’t solve any problems, the best thing to do is to work hard and commit the rest into the hands of God and I am not disappointed 🙂

Gratitude has been teaching me a lot. It has changed my perspective and has enriched my life far more than I can say.

There’s always something to be thankful for. I hope you find some reason to be.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Featured Posts # 59 …Share your post links.

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

The revengewogger: Breidengale’s blog is a totally inspiring journey of an awesome lady. In her own words below:

Started off wanting revenge in a race against a friend. Turned into getting revenge on my body that attacked me with cancer. Learning to adapt and laugh at the curveballs life has thrown my way while still focusing on running that race next year harder and faster!

ShiVibes: Shihana is a young blogger friend of mine 🙂 In her own words below, she introduces herself. Please show some warm welcome 🙂

Hey there! I am Shihana Nachiya. Eighteen years old Indian girl bought up in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Another lost soul, wandering on this planet, trying to find a purpose in her life.
Words keep buzzing in my head, often leaving me restless.
I’m a dabbler in many things; poet, writer, photographer, bathroom singer, cook and a huge foodie, feminist, voracious reader, a music lover, life enthusiast and a good friend.

Give me a break: Very tenacious Squirrel. This will put a smile on your face for sure 🙂

Finding faith in fear: I truly enjoyed reading Susan’s article. It’s concise, practical and inspiring and here’s my comment.

This is so inspiring and equally practical. Our faith is active and we let go of the fear and trust in the Lord. I like the idea of sitting down and identifying the facts and the root of our fear. That way we get a better grip of it. I enjoyed reading this.

Please do step in and show some love.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

P.S. Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together.’

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

I hear you in my thoughts…

Your words of wisdom,

of love and encouragement…

They are etched upon my soul.

They keep me warm.

**

*an excerpt from my poem*

14 steps to find your Hope…

An African proverb says that “hunger that has expectations does not kill.” The expectation might be the knowledge that there’s Yam in the barn to be roasted to satiate the empty stomach.

Webster dictionary defines hope as a desire accompanied by the expectation of or belief in fulfilment.

Hope is an active and confident expectation which is not only dynamic in it’s evolving nature but also life-sustaining and it stresses on two things that are invisible as well as futuristic.

At times, people struggle to find meaning and purpose in their daily lives and to them, the word ‘Hope’ sounds like a vague concept that’s irrelevant in their lives.

The fact is that if you want to start to see your life in the possibilities that you wish, you need to take certain steps to achieve that. These steps can be broken down into segments.

  1. Envision your life: This might take some practice but it’s worthwhile to take the time to try and envision what you want your life to look like. What type of life do you imagine is the best for you? Write your vision and do a review from time to time.
  2. Do a comparative analysis: Compare your life at present with your ideal vision for where you want your life to head to or to be. Is your analysis far apart? Are you headed in the right direction? Have some aspects of your vision materialised? These are pointers to note and beside each point, take note of the basic steps that you are required to take, broken down in simple, realistic goals.
  3. Are your expectations unreasonable? It is a good thing to dream big, but your big dreams have to be dreams that are realisable over time when the necessary steps are gradually put into practise. Are you dreaming of being a millionaire when you don’t even bother to acquire the understanding and mindset required to pursue such dream? Start with goals that are more effective in your current circumstance and when that has been put in place, you will find that the next step becomes easier.
  4. Don’t take on too many things at a time. That can lead to a sense of hopelessness when it seems as if everything is slow.
  5. Push your boundaries beyond your comfort zone as often as is reasonable without getting it totally imbalanced that it becomes overwhelming.
  6. Set SMART goals that are relevant to achieving your vision. SMART stands for specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic and time-bound.
  7. These steps will help to teach you how to acknowledge your strength and to build on them. Keep an eye on your positive accomplishments no matter how little they may seem. Appreciating yourself now and again, goes a long way to boost your confidence in yourself.
  8. You must cultivate supportive relationships that boost your morale, inspires and motivates you. As much as possible, eliminate toxic relationships and replace them with enabling connections.
  9. Engage in activities that will enhance your personality and life such as new skills or sports and also other causes that give you an opportunity to give back to others, like volunteering in your community. Don’t alienate yourself.
  10. Keep track of your progress by writing a progress report or journaling at the end of each week. This should also take your emotions into cognizance, how you feel about each day, what you are happy or not happy about…
  11. Don’t neglect yourself. As a matter of fact, this is the first duty that you owe yourself. Eat properly balanced meals, rest sufficiently 6-8 hours each night, hydrate, exercise and nourish your mind.
  12. As you progress, identify the stressors that bring on your anxiety and sense of hopelessness and develop anticipated steps to counter them, such as deep breathing, detoxing the mind, brisk walking, talking to others….sometimes, a bit of counselling from the right quarters can go a long way.
  13. Don’t discount your negative feelings. Face your negative thoughts and stop letting them get the better of you by questioning and understanding them.
  14. Keep your focus on the things that are within your circle of influence and take it a day at a time.

Hope has unquestionable results, but we must realise that it’s an attitude that we must work on each day.

Working on hope helps to change the way we see and value ourselves.

It positively affects what we do with our lives, our talents and time.

It brings us inner peace and a sense of well-being.

It builds our endurance level, our courage and confidence.

I have found from experience that reading books, materials of those who dared to hope and surmount challenges, encourages and motivates me.

My hope rests on God’s Grace. I hope that you will find this article to be useful.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

The Spirit Of Doubt…personal

Waking up with the spirit of doubt trying to invade my mind is not my idea of a fun way to rise in the morning. This spirit of doubt was implanted by events outside my control, which affects a member of my loved and extended family *unfortunately, I can’t disclose nor breach their confidence, but nonetheless, this issue weighs heavily on my mind that I found myself entertaining seeds of fear and worry.

Fear and worry add no value, but rather, they take away from the person inflicted by the noisome presence.

They are like creeping plants that grow so fast and try to smother everything good along the way. I am still a fledgling Christian in the sense that I cannot lay claims of having it all sorted out spiritually, but I am so grateful that I have matured enough in the spirit to always remember that God gave me the spirit of love and of sound mind and not of fear.

It may sound juvenile to some, but please believe me, when I say that I deliberately started recounting the positive things of just the previous days and not only did I drown out the voice of fear and worry, but I experienced such upliftment inside me.

The Spring break is over and we are back to the hustling shift of rising early, school runs and what not. I am so grateful for my children and the beautiful time spent together.

My babies are growing up, enough to slap gooey peanut butter sandwiches together, to flip pancakes and make light breakfast for themselves so that their mother can get a little extra lounge time in bed.

For a beautiful, caring soul in my husband who showed me lots of surprising sweet spots through his concern and ministration to my needs these past few days and brought loads of laughter to my lips.

I am thankful for Grace. Grace not to wilt in the sight of pressure. Grace that has stood by my loved one in their trying times and lest I forget, I am thankful for earning my first 34 cents in this blogging space as well as the sustenance to keep at it and not to lose focus.

A lot of times, life brings temptation that seems quite burdensome, but if we keep our face up, the load will slide off our shoulders.

I hope that you are thankful for something today. You can join Colline’s  or Maria Jansson gratitude challenge platforms.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Image credit: Pixabay

Midnight Musings and Motivations # 45…

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A lot of times, we have challenges that we face but lack the zeal to take them on.

Once our spirit to take them on is down, we find that the voice of pessimism and all the possible excuses will offer themselves on shiny platters for us to choose from.

However, the downturn to helping ourselves to the platter of excuses is that it’s often accompanied by a cane for self-flagellation and guilt, which will eventually show itself when the consequences of our actions or inactions dawn on us.

Sometimes, we need not have huge amounts of faith or courage.

Indeed,  a peanut-sized one will suffice, but if we can dig in our heels and get started with it, you find that the zeal and courage required to continue surfaces.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha