If the truth is to be told, it is hard to stay thankful and grateful in the face of suffering and sometimes I silently question how Job withstood his painful ordeals without grumbling. Didn’t his heart even murmur a bit?
For many months I’ve tried not to dwell on negativity, to remain thankful in everything because the truth is that the alternative to ingratitude sows bitter seeds of discord and cynicism, but in the past few weeks it’s been a struggle to stay upbeat and sometimes I feel as if I am a fraud spouting thankful words that are not deep-seated within my soul.
My rancour comes from watching a beloved young family member deteriorate healthwise – my younger sisters husband is battling an invasive brain tumour and sometimes I feel so afraid that we are fighting a losing battle. Such thoughts simply make my heart stop in fear and my prayers clog my throat. It is hard!
I remember watching my father decline from Cancer and the pain of watching his pain broke my heart many times over. Yet, through all his struggles, he remained stoic, never voicing a word of grumble and held his Faith through it all.
Sometimes, I wondered where he got such grace in the face of such adversity and I remember this quote that he shared with me,
I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live as if there isn’t and to die to find out that there is – Albert Camus
This quote has stuck in my head and always comes up when I’m between the hard rocks of fear, doubt and dwindling faith. It reminds me, that during the times of tribulation, are the times to hold on tighter. Though the difficult season may seem insurmountable, thankfulness lightens the burden of one’s load and I remind myself not to let go of gratitude especially when troubled.
© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha
Please join us for the reconvened Writer’s Quote Challenge that Bernadette, Haddons Musings and I have started. We would love to have you with us. Check this link for details.
a cooking pot and twisted tales 
Hope he recovers soon. My prayers are with him. Great post!
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Thank you dear Shivangi.
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God is definitely at work…beckoning you closer. There is peace the closer we are to him. I’ll pay for you and your family, Jacqueline. I’ve been right where you are. Hold on.
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Thank you, dear Michelle for your wise counsel and support. Words from friends fill my spirit with strength.
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Indeed. Know that we have a Comforter in the Holy Spirit. ❤
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Oh, that pain is raw. Watching dad die slowly but gradually still makes me cringe. I pray and hope against hope that it is not a losing battle. May the Healer intervene
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It’s a disheartening situation to be in but we keep holding on to God’s grace each day.
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We have lost many in my family to cancer and other prolonged illnesses – it is heart wrenching. Thank you for the quotation from Camus. I plan to share it with my husband who faced with cancer and heart failure has begun to wonder what he believes.
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Arrgh! I can quite imagine your husbands’ situation. It’s a tough and heart-wrenching position to be in both for the person suffering and their loved one’s.
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It sure is!
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What a great post powerful and raw.
Our faith will be tested time and time again. Just the other day a very similar topic came up in discussion. God is out there but the world has not reached that state that everyone or the majority believe that only God can come down and save us. We have reach that point then….
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Thank you so much. I believe that God is there for us to reach out to and all that is required is faith as tiny as mustard.
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Jacqueline, I am so sorry to hear of your families health tribulations. Brain cancer is heartbreaking. Yes, just as your quote says faith is a choice. I will repost on Thursday on my site so that your post gets the attention it deserves.
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Faith is truly a choice and the best choice as it is. Thank you so much Bernadette. I appreciate your kind words and support.
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I LOVE that quote!!
I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law! Prayers out to you and your family.
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Thank you my dear. We are holding on to prayers.
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Dear Jacque, sometimes one just needs to draw on strength of friends and friends need to be called on for prayer and love. We care. And there is no way possible that God’s heart is not broken to see the distress of children he loves. Doesn’t the Bible say something about the whole earth groaning – I think for the peace that will come to us sometime? Don’t worry about the negative thoughts and words sometimes. You mention Job. He has the reputation for patience, but his words belie that reputation. He rued the day he was born; he groaned and complained. What he did not do was give up on God! As you question – what is the alternative? Our sorrow is with God, or without Him. As you father proved to you, the greater good was “with God.” Comfort to you, dear friend.
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Dear Oneta, your words are like balm to my soul right now. It’s been real low moments for me and I appreciate friends like you who offer their words of succour and wisdom so easily. Thank you.
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Hi Jacqueline, these are beautiful and honest words and I love the quote. I too find it hard to keep being grateful in times of adversity because I feel like a fraud. I pray for that peace that passes understanding for you. Thank you as always for your inspiration. 🙂
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Each life has its challenges. All we can hope for is the journey along the way is a rewarding one no matter what path we take. Prayers and blessings, Jacqueline.
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I really hate to “like” a post like this one….but I wanted to let you know that my heart breaks for you and your family. You are human Jackie….and I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say….we are OK with you being the human that you are! You uplift us so much that in times like these it’s only natural that we reciprocate the encouragement and love. Let’s all hope that your brother-in-law will be OK when it’s all said and done. Blessings to you and yours….as well as a great big ‘ol bear hug. You need it sis!
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