Make The Most Of It!…

December 2, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha36 Comments

Sometimes, our approach to everything is a case of mind over matter especially when it comes to weather issues that we have no control over.

To an extent it might be true that peoples moods are highly affected by the weather, maybe there might even be a scientific explanation for this.

However, I maintain that since we have absolutely no control over sultry summer heats or bitter winter chills, we can only exercise control over how we choose to react to either situation.

Each season has it’s beauty, even the harsh seasons like Winter which comes with a lot of challenges, dampness and grayness.

Nonetheless, if we choose to look at things with the attitude of acceptance and positivity, it will also elevate our mind and change our altitude, that we will begin to actively seek ways to make that period pass more pleasurably.

There is no point in wasting a good couple of months sitting in the doldrums of misery, for a situation that cannot be changed. It is a case of Lord give me the grace to accept and endure the things that I cannot change.

When we moved to Dubai in July, the heat was second to none.

It sweltered so badly that one would have surely suffered from heatstroke from being out in such fiery heat.

We simply adjusted and found ways of keeping out of the heat, living and hydrating.

Now the temperature has cooled sufficiently and the weather is absolutely divine.

I intend to wring out every moment of it to the best of my ability whilst it last because, who knows what Madam Winter has to offer next time around.

My little ditty might make you catch a cold but will put a smile on your face.

The Daily Post prompt Climate Control

The idea that the weather and people’s moods are connected is quite old. Do you agree? If yes, how does the weather affect your mood?

Image credit: Pinterest/funny2014.com

Inspiration - Motivation · Social critic · Uncategorized

Pornography… 10 reasons why you should stop the views.

July 2, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha19 Comments

Simple defined: “pornography is the depiction of sexual behavior that is intended to arouse sexual excitement in its audience” – The legal dictionary.

What set me down this path of thinking you might care to ask? Well, let me tell you a little bit why. I sat in the library several days ago, trying to wrap my mind around a book that I am putting together. I had escaped the confines of my home, trading it for a little slice of time at the public library so that I could escape having my children come barging in now and again, to ask for this or that and derailing my train of thought.

Okay. So I settle down with my paraphernalia of notes and different colored pens and laptop and lunch and all, trying to dig deep in my memory bank to fish out those words that I search for. Not far gone in my quest, the infernal chit-chat behind my back commences. I ignored it a little bit, but the consistent drip, drip of voices in the library behind my back, drew my curious mind to identify the culprits. I squelched every inclination to give them a good scold on etiquette.

Three young heads are planted close to each other, gasping and awing over the contents of a smart phone. My curiosity was piqued to no ends – I am a people watcher (if any hobby can have that title) so, I rose from my chair and I craned my neck. Voila! They were actively engaged in a watching a torrid sexual session of group sex on their Iphone, in the public library. If I could blush, I am sure my face would have taken the color of beetroot.

The best thing to do: I politely took my things and moved myself, a little reluctantly to another position (that seat, which I had appropriated gave me a vantage point to observe everything going on in that vicinity and I still struggled to let go of the desire to give that scold 🙂

Now my train of thought had digressed from creating the perfect murder scene, to wondering about the scene that I just witnessed and thinking of a storyline in that aspect.

I doubt if Porn makes a polite dinner conversation? It is hard to picture one’s dad slicing through that steak, your ma picking her peas and your maiden aunt Virginia sipping on her Earl Grey tea whilst you engage in recounting lurid details of a BDSM scene, they would probably choke to death.

Yet, this topic that does not make a rousing discourse at the dinner table, is a thriving billion dollar industry which keeps growing and is virtually available at the slightest click of the fingers. What a waste of good funds!

I may not be an expert in analyzing sexual matters, but at my age, I do know a thing or two I can assure you.

I think that irrespective of religious inclinations or belief, pornography affects its viewers negatively for so many reasons. I don’t want to sound like a righteous and sanctimonious preacher, so, I will keep it simple, enunciate just a few reasons and encourage you to reason with me.

1. It rewires the brain and it’s short term gratification can lead to long term negative effects through the Coolidge effect of automatic response to continuous craving for more and more new excitement. The trappings of cyber-sex gives an opportunity to view millions of boobs and all which can span several life times in a few minutes and after years of consumption, the same material ceases to excite the viewer, thus the compulsion to delve deeper and explore newer grounds.

2. It then becomes an addiction. The repetition of this specific behavior leads to the release of the feel good hormone Dopamine, thus the continuous craving for repeats which is akin to what addicts of other substances experience.

3. It can actively damage or erode family relationships due to the unrealistic expectations from your relationships and in some cases, real women/men cease to arouse your interest as much as those that you see on the internet.

4. It causes decrease in sexual libido (testosterone) and erectile dysfunction, which will inevitably lead to depression, low energy level and lack of satisfaction.

5. Its leads to the development of thoughts and fetishes that would not have been encountered without porn.

6. This act reaches in and destroys the hearts, minds and bodies of its participants.

7. Waste of so much valuable time and funds surfing the net for an activity that eventually leaves the viewer depleted and possibly indebted through purchases made online for viewing rights to these sites.

8. It could even lead to loss of livelihood and reputation.

9. It promotes destructive practices and sexual perversions out there such as child porn, bestiality, necrophilia, rape and sadism and this in turn leads to increase of sexual crimes, human trafficking etc.

10. By viewing, the viewer supports this industry and facilitates its growth. The viewer also wittingly and unwittingly contributes to the sexual exploitation of whoever or whatever object he/she views.

We can no longer shy away from the realities of today by hiding our heads in the sand like Ostriches and hoping these things will go away.

We owe it to our young ones to educate them of the dangers that lurks in such habitual practice and hope that eventually, they will make the right choices.

Indeed, it is a danger in itself to allow them to flounder in their need to acquire information.

That’s it folks. I have said my piece and if I must say so, my digression from my initial assignment for my book, gave me quite an education. Maybe, as time goes on, we can explore ways that this habit can be broken.

Feel free to re-blog and share, you might be saving a soul 😉

Hope · Love · Musings · Uncategorized

No color for these young ones….

June 7, 2015 jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

It was a pleasure to sit and watch my youngest and his team mates work together during their field day in school to eventually come out tops in their little unit with several points ahead.

The previous night, he had been sniffling with a touch of cold and like a mother hen, I had fretted that it might get worse and that he may not be able to participate in his field day and he kept asking for my assurance that he would be fine, so that he can support his team to do well. Well, thankfully, mummy the magician did her best, and here we are.

Amongst that cell of small human bodies, I saw excitement, I saw camaraderie, I saw joy, I saw teamwork and cooperation, but with my jaundiced eye as an adult I also saw black, white, olive and everything in between.

A lot of shrieks and squeals were associated with each score or loss, tugs of war were won and lost, a tear or two shone in bright eyes, but above all things I saw love.

No dissension of voices did I hear, no untoward discrimination did I perceive nor segregation did I observe amongst these young ones. They all supported each other to achieve common goals. I saw bonding and friendship built possibly to last a life time, who knows?

If only we, the adults will hold our peace and not pollute the minds of these little ones, who in their simple-minded innocence are accepting of each other as equals without differentiation.

I remember back in the days when I was growing up as a young lady in the Eastern region of Nigeria, a community of fiercely traditional but hardworking people, I had dared to deviate from the norm to date a non-black gentleman.

I can still recall the askance attitude of supposedly concerned citizens, the gradual sidelining of some so- called friends who had felt that association with me would automatically taint them, the furore that had been associated with my boldness and the rottenness of my behavior for having the audacity to publicly date a white man and the pretentious support of two-faced friends who helped to stoke the fire of my dare-devil reputation; but in all that, what mattered most to me was how I was treated by whoever I chose to date.

It was more important to me to be cared for and respected by the man I chose to date than to fit into a miserable relationship for political correctness, so as not to rock the boat.

I came to realize that those who sought to mold me into their idea of where I should fit in, did not in any way contribute an iota of positivity to my life, nor was their effort done because they sought my happiness.

I got to understand that most time’s, achieving greatness and living your life to the fullness of its capacity, meant ignoring some naysayers, pushing boundaries and adamantly refusing to fit into the round holes created by the limitations of other people’s expectations and simply remaining a square, but happy peg.

I look back in wry amusement and ask myself if I would I do the same today, assuming the clock was rewound? Oh yes! In a heartbeat! I have not changed much in the broadness of my thinking but have matured enough to cut off any foolishness and distracting noise that drains my energy. I choose to live generously and my generosity starts with me.

Life has taught me that the best people in life are not based on their race or otherwise. They are just humans who seek to give their best, changing the World around them in their own little way positively, one day at a time. They are not occupied in segregating their World in little batches of color for reasons better known by them.

Now for my progeny, I will encourage them to see and treat all men as equals. I will encourage them not to see in absolute colors or to be color blind, but to look for the fine shades of gray and pastels in between because that is the way the creator chose it to be; the beauty is in the variety.