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A ball of sadness in me…Streams of Consciousness Saturday.

Linda mentions ‘ball’ as today’s prompt and I think of the different balls that I am playing with right now.SoCS badge 2015

The fleeting thought of my young sons ball comes to my mind and I pray his fever will break so that he can play happily.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I should be preparing to have a ball, but I am just not feeling it.

A few days ago, I was excited and gearing for an awesome day and I still hope to, but when you have a child a little bit down, the last thing on your mind is a ball.

However the big ball that forms in my stomach makes me feel so sad and almost reluctant to talk about it.

As much as I can, I avoid race talks because it only stirs up strong emotions.

Last night a friend sent a video of a black girl being pushed around and insulted and insulted by some guy’s – white.

I wanted to stop watching it, but I continued. By the end of that short video, I had tears in my eyes and just felt so heavy.

I can’t even begin to articulate all the thoughts that went through my head.

My question has always been, are we not all human? Why are some people like this? What’s the benefit of such ugliness and discrimination?

We claim to be different, to be enlightened, we claim not being racists, yet at every turn it stares us in the face.

These boys who pushed a young girl about and called her ugly names, learnt it from somewhere and most likely their homes.

Racism is learnt ‘cos no child is born that way.

I have no answers just a ball of sadness that sits in me and I obviously went to bed with that thought and it’s been more so on my mind after watching the fiasco of American campaign trails in Chicago.

I strive to teach my children to work hard and rise up and above expectations.

I try to teach them that before God all men are equal.

I try to teach them to embrace life with an open mind, but sometimes society makes playing this ball so hard.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Life · Short story · Social Issues · The Daily Post · Writing · writing ideas

A Day in the life of a Maid…..a true recount

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When we came here for a look-see in December, to help facilitate our migrating decision-making process, we spent weeks in a glitzy, glam hotel having a tour of the lovely city.

Hotels spuriously dot Dubai’s landscape to meet the needs of a teeming tourism industry which keeps blooming by the day. From the 0 stars to 5 stars and the only 7 Star hotel in the World!

Naturally, I got a bit friendly with a few of the staff, especially a young lady that tended to our room. I have no idea if I was drawn to her because she is of African descent, but I remember observing her very earnest yet polite demeanour as she rushed through her duties like a fire-ball in a haste to get her job done in record time.

The little tips that I gave her were highly appreciated and by the end of a few days, we became a little more friendly. I even suggested to her that I would like to share a day working with her for the heck of the experience to her alarmed and vehement refusal.

Out of piqued curiosity an interview ensued on one of the days that she was making up the room, little did I know that I would use the excerpts one day!

I will keep her name different and no mention is made of the hotels for privacy sake:

Me: “Lydia, where are you from?”

Lydia : “Somalia.”

Me: “How long have you been living here?”

Lydia : “Three years now.”

Me: “Wow!”  “That’s been a while!” “Do you live close by?”

Lydia: “Not at all.” “The outskirts, after Sharjah.” “It’s too expensive to live in the city.”

Me: “That’s far! (I exclaimed with the little idea that I had to the terrain). ”What time do you leave home?”

Lydia: ”Most times 5 or 5:30 in the morning!” ”I have to be at work by 7:30.”

Me: “And I see you here till late evening around 9.00pm or so when the bus is taking a bunch of you home.” “Doe’s the bus take you home?”

Lydia: “No it stops us at a metro station and we find our way from there.”

Me: “Oh good!” “So how do you like it living here?” “Was it easy to transition from your place?” “I thought it was a bit difficult to move here as a single woman, given the rules and regulations?” A battery of questions came from my end and all these while she busily went about her duties in the apartment, changing sheets, fluffing pillows etc.

Lydia: “It’s okay to live here even though it is more expensive than Somalia, but this place is better.” “An employment agency engages a lot of us.” “We cannot apply directly by ourselves and they are the ones that obtain the visa after medical tests and other requirements have been satisfied.” ”The agency gets a fraction of our income – they are actually our employers and they deploy us to work in places where they get contracts.”

Me: ”How did you get to know about the agency?” ”Are you happy with the work?”

Lydia: ”My cousin told me about them.” ”We were searching for a proper way to leave Somalia because of certain hardship due to conflicts.” I observed the flitting of emotions on her pretty face, but I didn’t interrupt as I was regaled with bits and pieces of what home meant to her.

Me: ”So what about the job?” ”Is it tedious?” ”Is it okay?” ”What has your experience been like?” I asked leading questions trying to probe a bit beyond the surface.

Lydia: ”Sometimes, I do about 35 check-outs in a day.” I got to understand that, that meant putting rooms in immaculate states when an occupant has checked out.

Some days can be very stressful especially when some occupants are difficult and don’t want you to disturb them until when they are ready.” ”Then they call and tell housekeeping that nobody has done up their rooms; meanwhile, they are the ones that put a do not disturb sign on the door.” ”What can you do?” ”You just have to manage.” She stated philosophically

Every job has it’s problems, but if I get money, I will open a hairdressing salon.” ”I know how to make hair very well.” Her face lit up at such an anticipated prospect.

This is actually my second place of work.” ”At the first hotel that I worked in, I was nearly assaulted by a client.” ”It was during a festive season and the hotel was fully booked at that time.” ‘I was assigned to work that floor for the week and this man kept making overtures but I ignored him.” ”On one of the days that I was cleaning up the toilet (and he is a very messy guest), he followed me into the bathroom, got aggressive and tried to force himself on me.” ”I barely managed to extricate myself without getting seriously hurt, but the Indian housekeeping manager informed me two days later that I was fired for upsetting a customer.”

I was lucky that the agency was understanding and they deployed me to this place.” ”This is a better hotel, she enunciated quietly in her sing-song drawling accent. ”The manager is a nice Egyptian Christian.”

I was very disquietened and left the interview at that with a bigger tip than usual.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to The Daily Post prompt FAQ

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

Creative Writing · Fiction · Short Stories

Hiding…..a Short story

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Patting the blonde wig, she stares at her face in the gaudy mirror.

This would be her last night, yet she feels uneasy. Is it the anticipated move? Maybe! She thinks.

She is tired of moving. From one horse-shoe town to the next. One harshly lit stage to the other. How many wigs? How many stages? How many towns? How many names? She had lost count! Sometimes, her days start as Rita and ends as Melinda, or Mirabelle, Belinda, Katerina, Chloe and even Zoe!

Young Luc now asks questions.

“This will be the last time my love, she promises.” Finally, she has enough money to start allover in a sleepy town, with a new identity and new things away from stage lights.

The introductory act wraps up. Her cue is next.

Her crooning voice belts out heartrending tunes of a broken heart. The crowd soaks it in.

Her eyes wander nonchalantly across faces. His sizzling gaze hits her. Her pitch warbles to a halt!

Staring in wide-eyed disbelief, like a deer caught in bright lights, its her Nemesis and his goons.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to prompt photo from The Storytellers Abode for Flash Fiction For Aspiring Writers. Thank you Etol and Priceless Joy for providing this platform.

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Life · Poetry/Poems · Social Issues · The Daily Post · writing ideas

The Face Of Evil..

In response to The Daily Post prompt Wicked Witch

Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.

Love most important

Evil lies at every door!
Sneaky and eager to slip in,
When the door is left unlocked,
Evil slips in unwatched!

In each of us exists a Jekyll and Hyde,
Always a tussle between Good and Bad,
Who wins is left for you to say,
Because, indeed, evil lies at the door!

She doesn’t look like the wicked witch from East-wick,
Neither does she resemble the witch from Far East,
But resides in all those, with malevolent eyes,
Indeed, evil lies at the door!

She needs not have a hooked, pimply nose,
Nor cast spells over,
Pots of mumbo-jumbo,
A minutes delay, the spell is done,
Indeed, evil slips in through the door!

S/he comes well packaged in lovely gift wraps,
S/he comes sensuous, sleek with soft touch,
Glossy and sweet, like everything nice,
A little taste and then its doom,
Indeed, evil lies at the door!

S/he needs no crooked black hat,
Nor a black cat that spits with squinted eyes,
She needs no broom,
To get her vroom,
Yes indeed, evil lies at the door!

At the door of an unrepentant heart,
With no sense of remorse!
At the door of wicked pleasure,
From others pain and misery!
At the door of abuse, loneliness, violence and more,
Yes indeed, evil lies at the door!

Guard your hearts and minds!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Creative Writing · Hope · Poetry/Poems

Where’s happy?…..

Happiness

”Where’s happy?” she asked the Four Winds,

Digging in the rubble of hurt, lonesomeness, misguided thoughts,

hopelessness and more hurt,

Her fingers bloodied from sharp pricks of the jagged rocks of pain,

despair, mistreatment and more.

The Four Winds kept still in its gentle sway,

And not a peep, did it utter at all.

She hurried left and she scurried right, In a frantic search for happy;

Under plumped pillows and beneath feathered billets;

She languished, seeking happy with anguish.

Across the gin counter and inside many bottles,

”Where’s happy?” She asked, but bottle wouldn’t share its model.

Under the lights, she took to flight;

Strange lips kissed, but happy still missed;

”Where’s happy, Strange lips?” she asked;

Strange lips mumbles and fumbles;

Humbly admits, ”I don’t know and I need happy too!”

Dejected and weary, bloodied to the bone;

A moment of stillness, she maintained in her soul;

“Where’s happy?” She whispered to her soul;

”Right here with you,” little Happy said.

”Right here, where I have always been, my dear.”

”How come you are right here?” She asked in surprise,

”Whilst I ran helter, skelter, looking far and wide,”

”But you were no where to be found!!”

”You looked in the wrong places!” Happy declared.

”And asked the wrong faces,” Happy shook her head.

”I am always here, right within you,”

”If only you will keep still for a moment or two.”

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation

From pain to prayer…

Trust GodWhat do you do, when each day seems like a struggle?
What do you do, when you are weary?
What do you do, when you are depressed?
When you are feeling ugly with negative emotions?
And everything around you seems to conspire to make it worse?

What do you do?
When the internal turmoils seems as if they will eat you up alive, from within?
What do you do when the anguish of your pain makes your eyes turn red?
And you feel like having a tiny switch button that you can turn on and take it all away?
So that you can experience blissful silence,
All your blues taken away.

Your vitriolic pain, your shame, your ugliness, your addiction, your anger, your depression, your fear, your bitterness, your mental anguish, your lack….,
All taken away at the flick of a button.

Your family have failed,
Your friends have failed,
The system has failed,
It all doesn’t seem right,
No human love seems enough,
To erase how you feel. That addiction has you in a choke hold, But you lack the will to stop,
That abusive relationship is killing you,
But stay in it you must,
No lover of yours, can fill the empty void inside you,

No booze, no drugs, no sex, no form of addiction, seems to help you out of the rabbit hole,
Hurt and pain of feeling lost are your steady companion,
Your grief hanging like a heavy cloak,
On your bowed shoulders from dawn to dusk,
Further pulling you down.

Yet you wear your smile,
Hiding your struggles behind the mask of your face,
Which is falsified like a clay cast,
You are trying to be strong,
Pretending to be strong,
Losing the essence of your authentic self, as each day goes along,
Pervaded by the feeling that you are not enough,
And that you can never be enough.

You float like a listless buoy, cast on roiling seas,
BECAUSE you seek for constant validation of fellow man,
Forgetting that he or she is equally fallible,
A mere human like you,
Bogged down by his/her own struggles, inner turmoils and pain,
Who cannot endorse neither the wind, nor the dust they were made of.

Ponder on the courage that you have to get up everyday.
The courage to face that job, to shoulder that pain, the hurt, the hunger, the loneliness, the lack, the emotional upheaval, the addiction and all the extra baggage.
Where do you think it comes from?
It comes from no other source; but from within you.
And you can do better
You can build that courage
Into a resilient dam of an over-comer.

BY CHOOSING NOT TO WALK ALONE!
The journey is harder when you walk alone,
BUT WHEN YOU CHOOSE GOD
Through Grace and Mercy
Through Faith and Hope
He leads you to Victory
A step at a time, out of the rabbit hole
A day at a time, to joy and peace
BUT ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE…

BE still and know that there is GOD.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha