A ball of sadness in me…Streams of Consciousness Saturday.

Linda mentions ‘ball’ as today’s prompt and I think of the different balls that I am playing with right now.SoCS badge 2015

The fleeting thought of my young sons ball comes to my mind and I pray his fever will break so that he can play happily.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I should be preparing to have a ball, but I am just not feeling it.

A few days ago, I was excited and gearing for an awesome day and I still hope to, but when you have a child a little bit down, the last thing on your mind is a ball.

However the big ball that forms in my stomach makes me feel so sad and almost reluctant to talk about it.

As much as I can, I avoid race talks because it only stirs up strong emotions.

Last night a friend sent a video of a black girl being pushed around and insulted and insulted by some guy’s – white.

I wanted to stop watching it, but I continued. By the end of that short video, I had tears in my eyes and just felt so heavy.

I can’t even begin to articulate all the thoughts that went through my head.

My question has always been, are we not all human? Why are some people like this? What’s the benefit of such ugliness and discrimination?

We claim to be different, to be enlightened, we claim not being racists, yet at every turn it stares us in the face.

These boys who pushed a young girl about and called her ugly names, learnt it from somewhere and most likely their homes.

Racism is learnt ‘cos no child is born that way.

I have no answers just a ball of sadness that sits in me and I obviously went to bed with that thought and it’s been more so on my mind after watching the fiasco of American campaign trails in Chicago.

I strive to teach my children to work hard and rise up and above expectations.

I try to teach them that before God all men are equal.

I try to teach them to embrace life with an open mind, but sometimes society makes playing this ball so hard.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


25 thoughts on “A ball of sadness in me…Streams of Consciousness Saturday.

    1. I just saw your comments Shandra and appreciate your kind wishes. He’s doing well now, thankfully.
      Let me use this opportunity to invite you over for the brunch party that I am hosting on my blog today and tomorrow. The link will go live in 2 hours. The title will be BRUNCH PARTY live link 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. May your sons fever go away so you all can have a grand time for your birthday tomorrow! As for the racism part – it’s learned. It’s a shame these folks learn it from somewhere / home/ friends.


  2. Happy birthday, dear friend. Hope the young one is better. I saw the campaign images on the news and it looked awful. It’s an embarrassment that other humans act that way. I think it’s that group mentality thing where a lot of it would not happen except there’s safety and stupidity in numbers. Hugs.


  3. Racism and tribalism (in my country) remains that one monster we seek to conquer. It stares rudely in our faces each time we think we’ve conquered. I hope families all over the world will teach our young that our worth do not lie in the color of our skins…


  4. I hope your son’s fever breaks soon too and he is back playing again! Happy Birthday, Jacqueline! My birthday is in a few days. LOL! I agree with you about racism. That video you saw could have been “put on” just so they could video it. Racism is hateful, useless, and shouldn’t exist. I watched what happened at Donald Trump’s rally and it is sad to see things like this happen. This is suppose to be a “democratic” country.


  5. As Oscar Hammerstein said “You have to be carefully taught to hate.” You are doing what you can by bringing your loving light to the world. Shine on. Happy Birthday and I hope your dear son is better.


  6. I’m sorry there is so much focus on the protest disasters surrounding our election campaigns. They are not in the majority, and don’t deserve all the attention. We are so much better than that. The incidents you witness in person are much more troublesome, and yes, that kind of bigotry is taught/learned. We still have a long way to go. Healing thoughts for your son, Jacqueline, as you prepare to celebrate your birthday. 💕


  7. Let’s make your birthday a better day! Hopefully your son’s fever break and for a day, put all these other things aside and focus on you and your family. Have cake and be silly. All those balls will still exist the next day (again, hopefully not the fever). Racism is always there, it’s taught from parents to children and we can impact our own house and hope that our children will rise above and stand for their belief. It’s frustrating to still witness


  8. First, I wish a speedy recovery to your son.
    Secondly, yours is a normal reaction to outright cruelty and a testament to your own loving nature and sense of justice. So, I found this quote for you:
    “The African race is a rubber ball.  The harder you dash it to the ground, the higher it will rise.” ~ African Proverb
    Knowing this doesn’t make it easier, but enlightenment will prevail over ignorance. Your blog is a shining example of the efforts to enlighten and share messages of love and inclusiveness.
    Thirdly, plan a wonderful celebration for your birthday and eat cake! 🙂


  9. I’m sorry for what happened to that girl and that racism exists at such a level. There are good people in the world, and we can find good news and videos on heroism and people fighting racism but unfortunately we have to go looking for those stories, because popular media…..
    I hope your son feels better as I’m writing this and that you have a lovely birthday full of Grace and Love.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy Birthday.
    Sorry to hear your son is under the weather. I am sure it will be hard to enjoy your birthday while your child isn’t feeling well.
    Yes, most bad and unacceptable attitudes are learned in the home, passed on through the generations, and this needs to end. Bless you for teaching your children something different. There’s hope if more are like you in that regard.


    1. Thank you so much for your comments. I just saw them right now and appreciate your taking the time to visit and read. Much regards.
      Let me use this opportunity to invite you over for the brunch party that I am hosting on my blog today and tomorrow. The link will go live in 2 hours. The title will be BRUNCH PARTY live link 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. The way I understand this, some folks decide to bully others for whatever reason is easier to; I believe there’s a name for this in psychology.

    The ‘others’ however are not limited to only one race. For example, Jews oftentimes are discriminated. How about ‘hard-headed Irish’? Some folks hate Japanese and Vietnamese, and call them all kinds of names. Italians! I remember reading a book of Lee Iacocca in which he described the way he was given a hard time when he was a kid because of his Italian origin.

    Oh and immigrants, isn’t that something. Remember, ‘Give me your tired, your poor…’ this is long forgotten. Instead, all immigrants are lumped together in a negative way. Everyone who isn’t American, can be potentially discriminated against. Mexicans especially. Back in the day I dated a Mexican man who wasn’t treated well at work. He however didn’t skip a beat. When someone asked him about his green card, he said, “I have a pink card” lol. He btw was an American citizen.

    Hang in there. We ARE all human. Happy birthday!


  12. Yes, we are all the same inside. And your words look exactly like mine. 🙂
    Hope your little one is better soon. It’s never easy when they’re sick, is it? Precious things they are. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, my dear. 🙂


  13. I seem to have a kind of positive color blindness that seems to be becoming more prevalent in American society. Most kids grow up in much more diversity than in the past and see no real difference. I heard a black lady the other day comment when asked if it bother her that her kid was the only black boy in his class if that bothered her she said she never really noticed. They’re all just kids!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I heard about what happened to that young girl as well as those peaceful protesters. It really is a shame and saddening. Could you imagine a toddler hating another toddler because they have different color blankets? That’s how stupid racism is…you have the same anatomy but hate another because of their shade of skin. Racism would probably make more sense if each race were a complete different species altogether lol


  15. Hi Jackie,

    I’ve observed that most of the atrocities being committed in the world are deeply rooted in either religion or race.

    You are right “Racism is learnt ‘cos no child is born that way” . Children absorb ideologies from society, beginning from their homes. Charity does begin at home.

    Unfortunately racism comes with unpleasant secondary effects of bias, prejudices and unfair stereotypes. I wonder if it will ever go away. In God’s eyes all men are equal. 🙂


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