Blogging · WordPress · writing challenge

Toddling down memory lane…

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Well, today’s prompt took me a few minutes or so to give my memory a jig and I must say that as I meandered through lanes of memories of yester-years, searching the nooks and crannies to see if I can pinpoint my earliest memory tucked away neatly in the recesses of my mind, waiting to be discovered as it jumps out at me and says ‘hello there, here I am and good to see you,’ I find fuzzy memories melding into each other and I am not quite sure again what happened when and which one came before the other.

Images of my childhood home, of close family members old, gone and alive; of lovely frocks, of sunny days and smells of the soursop, mango and cashew fruits, of the various sounds of music playing on my dad’s Grundig turntable, of the cries of younger siblings, the laughter and soft scolding of my mother, the pounding of the mortar and pestle – preparing native foofoo – the cosy smell of my grandmother and her shea butter, the drizzle of the rain and images of running out in the rain with neighbourhood friends as our mothers yelled at us to come out of the rain all flip through my mind like a TV series. Dainty echoes of yester-years wrap itself like gossamer across my mind and like the spiders cobweb, they all interconnect.

I do have some recollection of early days of kindergarten and some of the nursery rhymes learnt have stuck with me all these decades. One particular memory of having being left perched on a fence where I sat and cried so badly sticks out like a sore thumb. The boy, who happened to be so much older and bigger refused to put me down and I was unable to come down by myself. I think I refused to go back to the nursery after that incident and my mother was rightly concerned. I can’t remember how she resolved the issue and I don’t know why I have held onto this memory and why it didn’t get lost in the annals of my life.

I wish I could say that I have extra – ordinary – recollection and clarity of my toddler years in sequence, but I daresay that I truly don’t recall as much as I would have loved. Maybe, if I had an encounter with a hypnotist, who knows what one will discover under the intense state of concentration. I am not so sure that I really care to know as I doubt if delving so deeply into the past at this point in time in my life is truly worth the price. After all, the past is simply a memory trace of time lived and as whimsical or as eager as we may feel, we can’t go back there as we are living in this present moment.

I do understand that the exercise of reliving one’s memory can be essential as they not only teach us important life lessons that we can apply in our present and possibly the future, they also give us a sense of continuity, identity and purpose. Indeed, our memories shape us and make us who we are.

Keep making beautiful memories.

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Blogging · WordPress · Writing

I am brave or am I?

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When we think of the word ‘brave’ our minds automatically switch to the endurance of pain, performing daunting tasks and facing danger without fear. Our minds go to the images of brave soldiers at the war front, selfless, daring, heroic and protecting us from intrusion at the risk of their own lives. I am not that soldier, yet, I daresay that I am brave. Yes! I am.

Not to thump my fists on my chest, belting out a war cry, I can puff up with a little sense of pride that I do stand up to daunting and unpleasant situations – often with trembling knees and trepidation. Most times, in all the places that I have worked over the years, I have been that voice that speaks out for those who don’t know how to or feel too intimidated to speak up.

On a regular basis, I am not afraid to question the status quo when my perception of rightness prompts me to do so even if it means that my voice is the only dissenting voice in a crowd of many. What that has achieved over time is not only to draw the attention of those in positions of authority to review any ‘questionable circumstance’ but has served as a catalyst for positive change and gradual inculcation of healthier work cultures.

As much as I like being comfortable, I have also grown to understand that the space of comfort stifles personal growth and as such, I endeavour to try new things – albeit sensibly – and to push my boundaries in many ways. Taking such steps brings a new sense of power and exhilaration and also takes some level of bravery as most of us are creatures of habit who find changes unsettling. Those things that we fear can keep us bound in invisible chains and as is commonly said, ‘you don’t have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.’

Personally, putting myself out there on social media through videos, baring my thoughts in writing for others to read sometimes feels as if I am exposing the inner parts of my soul to friends and strangers alike, because we live in a world where people are far more at ease to criticize and judge than to empathize and to keep an open mind. ‘

However, the sense of freedom that comes from doing so daily propels me to keep showing up, to keep being brave in my little world and I am not about to stop anytime soon.

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Blogging · Networking · WordPress · Writing

This year I want to achieve…

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Happy New Year to you and your dear ones! So, I joined bloganuary and the first prompt is what-is-something-you-want-to-achieve-this-year, which I think is appropriate given the fact that most of us tend to think of new goals to accomplish and new resolutions for the year.

The general idea for me is to use this opportunity to connect with a wider blogging community and friends as well as kindle my writing zeal which went into some sort of hibernation most part of 2022. My expectations this year is to continue to grow stronger spiritually, practice mindfulness and staying in the present, staying happy and centered, actively tapping into the law of attraction and living it, achieving my writing goals, sustaining the healthier lifestyle that I have been aiming for, increasing my social media presence, growing multiple streams of income, venturing into new things and becoming more financially independent. Each of this aspect is broken down to short term, medium term and long-term goals and I sincerely hope to stay focused and diligent.

The truth is that we can wish all we want for our dreams to become actualized but without matching our wishes with actions and of course faith, it simply remains wishful thinking and thus unattainable.

I will surely share my journey here as a way of holding myself accountable and hopefully inspiring others. I believe that you and I will be seeing more of each other in this space in the coming days and I do wish you the best of 2023.

Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Lots of love from Jacqueline

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@beyondexisting.j

Declarative prayer #fyp #foryoupage #christiantiktok #Prayer #jesus #Godsplan #nigeriantiktok #faith Declarative prayer speaks out loud the truth found in God’s word and in God’s being. We boldly pray and then walk in faith.

♬ Omemma – (Live) – Judikay
Inspiration - Motivation · Philosophy of Life

The journey to a happier you.

There are many gateways that lead us to our individual pleasures but there’s only one true pathway to happiness and the track runs through you. 

The key that unlocks our happiness lies within us and can’t be found elsewhere. Outer factors may contribute to our state of bliss now and again, such as: recognitions and prestigious awards, salary raise, exciting new relationships, fancy gadgets, weight loss, new home, travelling etc. These things can contribute in making us feel great at the initial stage, however, that buzz and thrill does not last very long as we are quick to adapt to changes and those positive things that made us happier at first fast become our new normal and we return to our previous happiness baseline.

Positive psychology shows that a person can truly increase their happiness and overall satisfaction with life which does not necessarily entail winning lottery ticket or material stuff or some sort of drastic change of circumstances. What it takes, is an inner change of perspective and attitude and this is something that anyone can do.

When we fail to settle down and dig deeper to unlock the essence of who we are, we tend to fill our days with activities, going through the daily motions of surviving and are left feeling listless and dissatisfied with life.

If you feel like this, now’s the time to start searching for the missing link and hopefully, the answer will click. The journey to a happier you can often be lonely but you can improve your experience by surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, value yourself and your relationships, keep the beautiful memories and positive experiences closer in mind, achieve goals and appreciate them no matter how small.

  • Train your brain to be more positive: express gratitude, give sincere thanks to others, find the positive sides of negative events from  your past (not the easiest task but you can reevaluate a negative past event keeping your eye on what you learned or how you became stronger, wiser, or more compassionate.
  • Go spiritual and seek to understand one’s inner life better in order to act more wisely.
  • Nurture and enjoy your relationships: Make a conscious effort to stay connected, invest in quality time with the people you care about, offer sincere compliments, take delight in the good fortune of others, seek out happy people 
  • Live in the moment and savour life’s pleasures: meditate, practice mindfulness, adopt enjoyable daily routines, minimize multi-tasking, recollect happy memories and do stop to smell the coffee or the roses. 
  • Focus on helping others and living with meaning: practice kindness, volunteer, play to your strength by building your activities around those things that allows you to use your strengths for greater good.
  • Take better care of your health: get quality sleep, eat balanced and nutritious meals, exercise, relax the mind…

We all want to live happier lives and this is possible. I hope that you found this article useful. 

Feel free to check me on Tiktok below and you can always join my Livestream to make new friends. Hope to see you one of these days.

Life

The power of the present…

collection of retro wall clocks in antique store
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There’s a lot of power in living in the now. but a whole lot of times we are so focused on the past; reliving events that have come and gone, living in the regret land of ‘I wish’ I should have, I could have, I would have… which is a sheer waste of our limited time and energy. We can never regain the past as it is more or less a memory trace and the more we sit in the past, the more we lose the power of being fully present and enjoying the ‘now’ that we have.

Again, a lot of times we spend enormous time and energy planning and projecting for a future and a tomorrow that we don’t have in hand whilst at the same time losing steam and failing to ensure that we are living our best lives moment by moment.

When we know better we do better. Wishing that I had understood this concept earlier on in my life is moot and praying for a period in time that can never be regained.

The truth is that time is an illusion and all we truly have is this present moment that we been blessed with. If we channel our energy into staying present by making the best of our moments, taking charge of our day by focusing on the things that concern us such as our health (spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, financial…) our finances, our relationships, our careers/jobs/business then we put in ourselves in better standing and will no longer keep looking back in regret or looking forward to an anticipated better future because we are dissatisfied with the present.

I hope your day is going well and as planned. Bless you.

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Musings · Poetry/Poems

I Am Still Holding On…

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Sometimes it seems letting go…

is easier than holding on.

Sometimes it seems holding on…

is better than letting go.

Sometimes the see-saw of life…

leaves you pondering;

which end to let go

and which end to hold on to…

©Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Uncategorized

Lovely and Wonderful…

person writing on pink sticky notes
Photo by Bruno Bueno on Pexels.com

What word do you find yourself using frequently? I think I use these two words ‘lovely and wonderful‘ ever so often, especially when complimenting others or their work. Most times, I endeavour to read what someone wrote, to connect with the post before making a constructive comment that relates to it.

I must say that I hesitate in using unnecessary superlatives which sometimes almost comes across as superfluous and fake. I do indulge when I come across something that genuinely deserves the superlatives. Sometimes, when my thoughts are all over the place, I fail to truly connect with a piece writing and as such, I hesitate to make a comment; and a like suffices at such times.

However, it is interesting to say that I have observed some readers making asinine comments that has nothing to do with the post and I can’t help but wonder at the following:

  • Is it that they are unable to read and comprehend?
  • Is it that they simply choose to be obtuse?
  • Is it that they are simply in such a rush but want the writer to feel their presence through their like and odd comments?
  • Do they think that they writer is so simpleminded that any silly comment would be pleasing to them?

As we always seem pressed for time and people’s attention span shrinks to the size of an ant, with social media interaction becoming more fast-paced, it does appear like the art of reading is equally suffering a blow and genuine readers dwindle daily.

I could think many things pertaining the readers thought pattern and may never arrive at the right answer, but I most certainly do hope that I haven’t fallen into that category of asinine comment makers and that I never lose the joy derived from reading and truly appreciating the art of the writer.

Blogging · Monday Motivations · Quotes For You

Tuesday Thoughts…

There are many gateways that lead us to our individual pleasures but there’s only one true pathway to happiness and the track runs through you.

The key that unlocks our happiness lies within us and can’t be found elsewhere.

When we fail to settle down and dig deeper to unlock the essence of who we are, we tend to fill our days with activities, going through the daily motions of surviving and are left feeling listless and dissatisfied with life.

Now, that’s the time to start searching for the missing link and hopefully, the answer will click. You can improve the experience by surrounding yourself with positive and happy people, value yourself and your relationships, keep the beautiful memories and positive experiences closer in mind, achieve little goals and appreciate them.

I found this oldie sitting in my draft. Still rings true.

Poetry Cards · Poetry/Poems

My tomorrow…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

my tomorrow came
when today arrived…
for yesterday I waited
on a day that I hadn’t seen…
hoping that if and when
it does come around…
there will be the light of change.

my tomorrow is here
yet my thoughts ain’t truly there…
for how can it be
when in fragmented pieces…
I watch…

the broken circles

of many yesterdays

Personal · Personal story · This Is My Life

These are not easy days…

My family is going through a very difficult financial time right now that each day is burgeoned with struggle. Each waking moment comes inundated with its own portion of challenges that goes beyond just getting through the day.

There are times when it’s truly hard to say that all is well when the struggle is tedious.

I go through bouts of depression and mental stress these days that I lose sleep and some days are much harder than others. Sometimes, I literally feel as if the quagmire of life is bent on swallowing me and I struggle to drag myself out of the funk.

Now as I grow older, I understand better and empathize with those who become overwhelmed with life and seek easy ways out of their pain. Sometimes, we are in so much unseenSerenity pain that the person right next to us does not even grasp the magnitude of our internal struggles.

Most times, these pains are not only in the mind, they affect other aspects of our body and who we are and a lot of times they are triggered by events out of our control. I am trying not to focus too much on the problems but to redirect my energy on possible solutions as focusing on the problems only amplifies them. I am also repeating the ‘serenity prayer’ to help me keep calm and absorbing the words

If you find it in your heart and with any change to spare, you can support me in your own little way. Shalom ♥