At a point it was sinking sand…

mountain tops

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mountaintops and Valleys.”

Describe a time when you quickly switched from feeling at the top of the world to sinking all the way down (or vice versa). Did you learn anything about yourself in the process?

Despite conscious efforts not to be a depressing wet blanket, to maintain a sunny and optimistic outlook in life, there are times when life throws you sucker punches that leaves you gasping for breath and almost asphyxiated.Ā  You are left grappling at anything that will keep you from sinking down the bog that is eager and willing to swallow you whole greedily.

I can think of personal events that hit me in the solar plexus and dragged me from high to rock bottom.

I hate to pull out the tissue box, but I have also learnt that talking about these things, helps to heal gaping wounds.

  • The loss of my preemie baby.
  • 2 consecutive miscarriages.
  • The loss of my dad.
  • A car accident that took the life of a young man. I was the driver!

Without expending a lot of adjectives and flowery prose, losing a baby or even a pregnancy plunges one from the delight of expectancy to nothing… to the pits of despair, hopelessness, anger, sadness, and a multitude of emotions that I can barely define. I leave the rest for you to imagine.

Hearing placating words during such occurrence was barely sufficient if not upsetting. I remember when I suddenly lost my 28 week old baby, and a friend said to me “don’t worry, another baby will come” all I asked was whether a child is a replaceable item like furniture?

My dad’s passing was not a sudden event. It was a painful, grueling battle with cancer and it was not the best of times. Watching the strong man whom I loved so much bowed down by a vicious ailment which left him the ‘sufferer’ and those around him stricken beyond words is not something that I would wish anyone.

We fought like Tigers, but we were left beaten, bruised, bloodied and we lost. Knowing that he was ill did not make the pain any less. My sole joy is that I can honestly testify that my late dad was a good, gentle and upright soul. I will always miss him.

Another event that struck like a bolt of lightning out of the blues was a car accident that I was involved in. You might want to read this A letter to the young man that died. That saying, that a split second can change everything about someone’s life remains true.

I did not come away from these experiences empty handed. I have learnt and still learning to live in the moment and appreciate it. That I can be strong when there is no other choice and not to take anyone or anything for granted.

My biggest lesson so far has been a spiritual journey in Trusting, Believing, and having Faith in God. He has been my source of strength, sanity and boundless peace during these stormy times.

If per chance sharing my experience (that it is possible for someone to rise from the shadowy doldrums to face the light) serves as a source of inspiration and hope for anyone, then something positive would have been achieved.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. No more soppy prompts please. I am out of tissue box. Thank you šŸ˜‰

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25 thoughts on “At a point it was sinking sand…

  1. O my God! what can I say? I salute your courage for sharing. I pray that He who gives beauty for ashes,strength for fear,gladness for mourning and peace for despair will continue to strengthen you. I feel you Sis.*hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello jacqueline,I don’t know what to say to this post,But that what you are doing is really admirable.I hope God gives you courage through the difficult times,And you get through this.And you are a brave woman,from what I have known you through your posts,so I hope and wish you all the happiness you deserve:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh you have really had some terrible experiences Jacqueline and more than your fair share of emotional trauma. I am so sorry that you lost your dad and your precious baby, hopefully they are together and happy I hope that you continue to find strength in your faith and I wish you lots of well-deserved happiness for the future šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Edwina, at some point I was living in fear and wondered why the trauma’s but I learnt to stop asking those questions and learning to live by faith. Those have been painful experiences but the future looks a whole lot brighter. I didn’t want to share this initially but over time, after a women’s fellowship that I used to attend, I found a lot of women who were hurting from so much but because they were ashamed and found it difficult to reach out and speak out, their suffering was worse. Thank you for your kind thoughts, I do appreciate them šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think what others can give to heal us most during the times you’ve described is validation and anytime we share our most painful, life altering experiences they are validation for someone suffering in the same way. You’ve lived through a lot Jacqueline and I’m sorry for your loss but I also, know those losses have helped form your character and you are a blessing. Loss in you has been turned to gain.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I believe it’s not easy to pen all these sorrows into words.Thank you so much for sharing. Your great faith is admirable. May God bless you and your family always.

    Liked by 1 person

I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

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