A letter to the young man that died…

September 17, 2015July 29, 2018 jacquelineobyikocha74 Comments

Dear Sir,

I killed you and I am truly so sorry!

A dash into a six lane highway in pursuit of something that no one could tell, cost both of us so much.

They called it an accident, yet my spirit has grieved for long and the incident replays itself over and over in slow motion in my head. The screech and skid of the tires, the spinning and the abyss of blackness…

You died! How I came out of that vehicle with just a few scrapes was by the Mercy of God. I felt that I should have been more hurt than I was. The months that followed were extremely hard and it has taken a lot of Grace to forgive myself.

I always ask myself these rhetorical questions:

What was pursuing you or what were you pursuing?
What if I had left a tad earlier that day, would that have made a difference or would someone else be saddled with this burden of guilt?
Should I blame the Local Government for not installing pedestrian crossings on a highway; where it shouldn’t be?
Should I blame your foolhardy self for dashing into a six lane express by 10:30 in the morning?
Should I blame fate for putting me in your path and reconcile that it was meant to be?

I don’t drink, neither do I do drugs, so blaming intoxication is even out of the question!

My heart bleeds every moment that I think of this.

Every time that I wonder if you are okay where you are? If you ever had the chance to make peace with your God?

You were in your late 20’s and I wonder what dreams you had for the future; if any at all?

You have forever changed my perspective about life.

I guess I will never know the answers to my questions, but this I know for sure;

I will always offer a prayer for you.

Jacqueline

Writing

Just my two cents worth of an opinion….

September 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha53 Comments

Yesterday as I went through my mails to read the posts of fellow bloggers, an article from A Loco Viva Voce on birth control and unconventional methods piqued my interest and I decided to follow my nose to see if anything new has been discovered.

Well, to my disappointment no new methods have been found but I became privy to titillating gossip that Kate Middleton could be expecting another child – mind you this is still at rumor stage. Of course, my investigative senses couldn’t resist this morsel of information so I followed the link.

Digesting the rumor and the attendant comments of busy-bodies, I left a comment on A Loco Viva Voce’s blog which reads:

“Interesting! Let’s not be hasty in casting aspersions at anyone yet for getting pregnant a tad too early if that rumor is true. So many people have been caught in the heat of the moment 😉

I had a whole lot that I wanted to say about the post and the rumor which we can twist around from here to seven Sundays, but I will just stick to a few observations.

About the birth control methods:

I wanted to express my disappointment that after reviewing the proposed methods of birth control, it is still the same proffered methods that have been available for decades, which are by the way heavily skewed to the female gender. That no new alternatives have been developed for the menfolk asides from good old condom and abstinence (when they are forced to abstain).

I have been privy of a situation where a lady got pregnant after a failed family planning method and her husband went bonkers. It took the intervention of third parties to calm the swirling emotions (and my question was, did he not participate in the act? Is the responsibility of planning their family not for both of them? A whole new conversation in itself).

I have also been privy to the situation of a friend who got sterilized based on her husbands insistence, whilst he guarded his family jewels and continued his licentious affair with the nanny. Today, they are separated and she regrets getting sterilized.

Where am I heading to with these examples, you might care to ask?

My question is: Why is it that the pertinent issue of family planning seems to be borne by women mostly and in a whole lot of instances, prolonged application of some of these methods leads to one health complication or the other? When will more inroads be made to develop alternate methods for men? Some pills should be good for them too 😉

Let’s not delve into the moral side of these things for now.

About the Rumor:

In the case of Kate Middleton getting pregnant shortly after having a baby:

I wanted to say, whose business is it anyway? The last time I checked, they are legally married and it is their prerogative what they choose to do in their matrimonial home.

I wanted to add that it is not our affair to dictate to a married couple how many kids they should have and how they should have them – except in the circumstance of life and death.

I needed to voice an opinion that sometimes these accidents do happen in the bedroom shortly after a new baby, because at the best of times, even the best of brains tend to become scrambled when looking after very young ones.

Is there an explanation as to why she gets insulted for an act that is her marital right and indulged in by both parties – it is not as if she was caught in flagrante delicto with an outsider?

About the comments people made:

I wanted to remind people that, in as much as there is freedom of expression and the anonymity which the virtual World offers, it is wrong to write very insulting commentary about others – but then again, we have some miserable humans and in a World where leaders and Presidential aspirants can spout virulent nonsense, anything is almost permissible.

We should remember that our manners count both online and offline.

Whose business is it anyway?

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to: Writing 101 – Day 8: Expand a comment

Inspiration - Motivation · Poetry/Poems · Writing

I put it to you….

September 15, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha68 Comments

I have learnt that your happiness is that which you seek diligently. That you should grab it with both hands and guard it like chosen treasure.

That the state of happiness can be a cultivated state of mind, by applying simple but life changing attitudes.

A forgiving heart and a generous spirit.
Learning to turn mistakes into lessons.
Always revert within and seek your inner peace.
Leave the sweating of the small stuff behind.
Be grateful and thankful always.
Learn to love yourself and cascade it to others.
Build relationships.
Drop the mental slavery and stop dwelling on the past. It will never come back.
Spend your time on meaningful ways of looking forward to the future.
Rough it through even though it might start out difficult, that situation too shall pass.

Let me share with you a little article I wrote a while ago:

Your real home lies within you.
Not the bricks and mortar house of glamor that you reside in.

All painted and glossy with every top of the range appliance that money can buy.

That my friend, is just your physical abode.

Your real home lies within you,

Yet the home within you is neglected, in shambles and in quandary,

That even a stray pet would not want to live in there,

Take care of the real home that lies within you;

Fill it with good things,

A large portion of love,

A fresh harvest of thanksgiving

A handful of forgiveness,

Some tablespoons of honesty,

A jug of faith,

A dash of loyalty,

An ounce of friendship,

Three tablespoons of tenderness,

A whole shake of patience,

One big barrel of laughter

And a large dose of prayer.

Blend it all together, and bake it in the oven of your heart with a pan of Hope until it is well done.

Serve your guests daily with generous portions,
And your real home will definitely gleam with splendor.

In response to: Writing 101 – Day 7: Hook ’em with a quote

Blogging · Writing

Fomenting Ideas…..

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

For me, ideas can be formulated anywhere. It could be in the market square, a shopping mall, in a moving vehicle, in the shower, from a shared conversation, at the park, in the gym and the list goes on.

Everywhere serves as a potential generator of a thought, a poem, a story or even a joke. My ears and my eyes are my first major supplies for writing. My notepads, my Hello Kitty assistant purse filled with multi-colored pencils, pens, eraser, sharpener and God knows what else is inside are my second supplies and are easier to lug around.

When I am out and about (taking a walk) without these items, my phone steps in to the rescue; should anything that might be deemed interesting pops up. Sometimes, I deliberately visit a place of interest to gain more depth for an article that I am working on; for example, I had to walk into a police station at Jersey Village to ask some questions about something that I was writing on and they were very forthcoming. People usually are forthcoming when you ask nicely 🙂

My fomented ideas are transcribed into legible content on my laptop during the wee hours of the morning when the household still sleeps or alternatively, after the dust of the days activities have settled.

I prefer to work in a well lit room, on a comfortable chair with some cushioning for my tush 😉 and a good reading table to spread my paraphernalia for writing and then, I am good to go.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In respect of Writing 101 Day 6 assignment: The Space to Write

Uncategorized · Writing

Little Tweets….

September 11, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha32 Comments

In response to Writing 101, Day 5: Let social media inspire you:

One of the goals of Writing 101 is to tap into new and unexpected places for post ideas. Today, let’s look to Twitter for inspiration. Don’t worry — you don’t need a Twitter account to participate in this prompt. Below, you’ll see five tweets: each tweet is interesting in its own way, and we hope one will elicit a response from you.

I chose to respond to all tweets:

My Response: To empty oneself each time, is no mean task.

My Response: Home is that feeling embedded within you.

My response: That shows the capacious nature of brain. It stores all the gems and junks.

My response: The more you procrastinate, the less the zeal.

My response: There is so much to learn. You never stop, until life stops.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Fiction · Writing

Mindless….

September 10, 2015September 10, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Time had halted ages ago. The filtered light through the reinforced window the only sign that life still existed. The rays create colored rainbows and sometimes, when she looks hard enough she sees a bird soar past. A desire for freedom rises once again within her shriveled bosom.

Voice cords long broken from screaming herself hoarse, from days to months to years and decades, she knows that no one cared, for no one came.
No sound filters in, no sound leaks out. This concrete walls covered in etchings of her mindless rambling. Pleading with the jailer to do away with her, to end the madness of the dementia, but he preferred to keep her.

Each day he comes with scrapes to keep her alive.
Each day he reads to her and combs her unruly long locks with trembling hands.
Talking to her in yet another soothing manner. Reminding her of the years that belonged in another life.

Her strength has grown feeble over incarcerated years, her limbs long waxed and waned from disuse, her only strength, are the spurious thoughts of her mind. She always waits for the imaginary one to come. To talk to her, to caress her itchy scalp and drive her round in the imaginary car.

The twinge of the iron latch, breaks through mad reverie and he walks in softly, bearing warm oats and a comb.

In response to Writing 101 assignment 4: A story in a single image

Poetry/Poems · Writing

Little Nuggets….

September 9, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha23 Comments

Treasure

Seek Wisdom like nuggets to treasure;

Embrace her with every pleasure;

For she will give good measure;

Under all forms of pressure.

Secret

If I should tell you my secret;

Would you chirp it like a cricket?

Dragging down my spirit;

Just for a meal ticket.

Home

To my heart, home is where you are;

Your warm embrace and distinct fragrance;

Pulls me in and gives me anchor;

From place to place;

Through seasons of time;

and the parade of many faces.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to Writing 101 Assignment 3: Prompts come in many different forms. Sometimes, a single word is all you need to get your mind’s wheels turning. Here are six words: Treasure, Regret, Home, Love, Uncertainty, Secret

Musings · Writing

Over the Years…

September 8, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha28 Comments

My alarm tinkles and I know it’s 4:30 a.m. For one moment I ask myself what on Earth inspired me to set the alarm at such a time. I shuffle to the table to shut it down – I keep it away from the bedside, because I have known myself to stuff it under the bed in blissful moments in snooze land and then spend the next two days trying to find it – and I can’t resist taking a peek at my phone to check for Writing 101 prompt.

The prompt helps to clear the cobwebs from my eyes and makes me pause to think. I think of the things that I like and that is pretty easy to think of – it stretches from here to Armageddon; I think of the things that I wish for, which ties a bit with the things that I like, but the difference is that my wishes change now and again.

I then think of the things that I have learnt over my conscious years on Earth and that really got me thinking:

Over the years, I have learnt that:

No matter how many years that pass by, that the loss of a loved one still leaves sharp, poignant sentiments in my heart.
That life really goes on, even if you wanted it to stop.
To cherish the little moments of life because, it really floats by so quickly.
To dwell on my possibilities because it stretches the scope of my horizon and makes my life more interesting.
To love and accept myself wholeheartedly. I have learnt to live as myself and not as a mimic of someone else.
That dreams and ambitions do change and it’s okay. Not to beat myself to death over the head about it, but to dream anew and look for means to arrive at my goal.
To grow a sense of humor. It is common knowledge that life is often too short; thus, I don’t want to waste it stewing and sweating the small stuff.
I should take better care of myself, health wise, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
To have Faith, because that is really all that I have.
To keep an open mind. To welcome new perspectives and to never stop learning. The day we stop to learn, is the day that we begin to die within ourselves.
To have a sense of value for ethics and good morals without which I am less the person that I am.
To give. I have learnt that when you open your heart and hands to give, they are also open to receive.
To fall in love with as many things as possible and to give myself the permission to find out the things that I am really passionate about.
There is always room to improve on something.
Not to crowd myself with pessimistic ‘wet blankets’ in human form.
That my life is an evolution.