Blogging · Little rants

Shaking My Head…A Little Blogging Thought

Sometimes, you read some things that make you shake your head in wonder.1455163144750[1]

It makes you realize that even though humans are inherently selfish, some have extra doses of it.

Here I am feeling happy with my stats that seems to be jumping up in bits and I read someone’s blog only to hear them complain about having just 500 views which they consider as ‘piddling views.’

How ungrateful is that? In my opinion, you ought to be grateful for even one view!

It’s a privilege that people come to your site to read your articles and not your right. They are not obliged to do so.

Maybe, you should consider paying for the views, that way, the line would grow so long, hmm?

You ain’t no superstar yet, so just why do you think that 500 views are piddling for you when there are so many other bloggers who are scrounging for 100 views?

What have you been doing for these faithful readers of yours, that should make them glad to be around you?

Possibly, Ziltch, Nada, Nothing, Rien.

Maybe, you don’t even bother to read other peoples blogs, because you are too busy feeling like God’s gift to blogging Earth and caught up in your own World.

We all want millions of views, but it comes at a price and with  lots of sacrifices.

I keep reminding myself each day that ‘yes, I love the stats, but I should never lose focus on the reason why I am writing.’

When you lose focus on why it is that you are mingling with others, you stand the chance of becoming ungracious.

You stand the chance of developing unnecessary anxiety over the numbers and spend all your time comparing notes.

Appreciate where you are at each point in time. Adjust if need be.

Otherwise, not only will you begin to suck, but over time, your blog will suck as well.

Attitude is everything and I honestly can’t stand selfish people.

There it is! I have had my little rant and I hope someone will read this and make some sense out of it, especially the whiner.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Social critic · Uncategorized

Pornography… 10 reasons why you should stop the views.

good advice

Simple defined: “pornography is the depiction of sexual behavior that is intended to arouse sexual excitement in its audience” – The legal dictionary.

What set me down this path of thinking you might care to ask? Well, let me tell you a little bit why. I sat in the library several days ago, trying to wrap my mind around a book that I am putting together. I had escaped the confines of my home, trading it for a little slice of time at the public library so that I could escape having my children come barging in now and again, to ask for this or that and derailing my train of thought.

Okay. So I settle down with my paraphernalia of notes and different colored pens and laptop and lunch and all, trying to dig deep in my memory bank to fish out those words that I search for. Not far gone in my quest, the infernal chit-chat behind my back commences. I ignored it a little bit, but the consistent drip, drip of voices in the library behind my back, drew my curious mind to identify the culprits. I squelched every inclination to give them a good scold on etiquette.

Three young heads are planted close to each other, gasping and awing over the contents of a smart phone. My curiosity was piqued to no ends – I am a people watcher (if any hobby can have that title) so, I rose from my chair and I craned my neck. Voila! They were actively engaged in a watching a torrid sexual session of group sex on their Iphone, in the public library. If I could blush, I am sure my face would have taken the color of beetroot.

The best thing to do: I politely took my things and moved myself, a little reluctantly to another position (that seat, which I had appropriated gave me a vantage point to observe everything going on in that vicinity and I still struggled to let go of the desire to give that scold 🙂

Now my train of thought had digressed from creating the perfect murder scene, to wondering about the scene that I just witnessed and thinking of a storyline in that aspect.

I doubt if Porn makes a polite dinner conversation? It is hard to picture one’s dad slicing through that steak, your ma picking her peas and your maiden aunt Virginia sipping on her Earl Grey tea whilst you engage in recounting lurid details of a BDSM scene, they would probably choke to death.

Yet, this topic that does not make a rousing discourse at the dinner table, is a thriving billion dollar industry which keeps growing and is virtually available at the slightest click of the fingers. What a waste of good funds!

I may not be an expert in analyzing sexual matters, but at my age, I do know a thing or two I can assure you.

I think that irrespective of religious inclinations or belief, pornography affects its viewers negatively for so many reasons. I don’t want to sound like a righteous and sanctimonious preacher, so,  I will keep it simple, enunciate just a few reasons and encourage you to reason with me.

1. It rewires the brain and it’s short term gratification can lead to long term negative effects through the Coolidge effect of automatic response to continuous craving for more and more new excitement. The trappings of cyber-sex gives an opportunity to view millions of boobs and all which can span several life times in a few minutes and after years of consumption, the same material ceases to excite the viewer, thus the compulsion to delve deeper and explore newer grounds.

2. It then becomes an addiction. The repetition of this specific behavior leads to the release of the feel good hormone Dopamine, thus the continuous craving for repeats which is akin to what addicts of other substances experience.

3. It can actively damage or erode family relationships due to the unrealistic expectations from your relationships and in some cases, real women/men cease to arouse your interest as much as those that you see on the internet.

4. It causes decrease in sexual libido (testosterone) and erectile dysfunction, which will inevitably lead to depression, low energy level and lack of satisfaction.

5. Its leads to the development of thoughts and fetishes that would not have been encountered without porn.

6. This act reaches in and destroys the hearts, minds and bodies of its participants.

7. Waste of so much valuable time and funds surfing the net for an activity that eventually leaves the viewer depleted and possibly indebted through purchases made online for viewing rights to these sites.

8. It could even lead to loss of livelihood and reputation.

9. It promotes destructive practices and sexual perversions out there such as child porn, bestiality, necrophilia, rape and sadism and this in turn leads to increase of sexual crimes, human trafficking etc.

10. By viewing, the viewer supports this industry and facilitates its growth. The viewer also wittingly and unwittingly contributes to the sexual exploitation of whoever or whatever object he/she views.

We can no longer shy away from the realities of today by hiding our heads in the sand like Ostriches and hoping these things will go away.

We owe it to our young ones to educate them of the dangers that lurks in such habitual practice and hope that eventually, they will make the right choices.

Indeed, it is a danger in itself to allow them to flounder in their need to acquire information.

That’s it folks. I have said my piece and if I must say so, my digression from my initial assignment for my book, gave me quite an education. Maybe, as time goes on, we can explore ways that this habit can be broken.

Feel free to re-blog and share, you might be saving a soul 😉

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha