For Sanity’s Sake…

December 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha30 Comments

I have always felt that evenings are meant for kicking back and relaxing after a days hectic job, either with family, doing what families do; eat, talk, laugh, squabble, watch TV, do homework etc.

I would rather close my day reading a good book, or browsing the dailies and just talking off my husbands ears with tidbits of the news.

I also enjoy the quiet time of going through my mailbox or lazily catching up with the blogs, with the sounds of my household in the background.

On days that I feel like stepping out for the night, we could just take a leisurely drive through town, grab a pizza or watch a movie with pop-corn and all the works.

I simply cherish my evenings and due to that, I prefer to do my work in the mornings; bright and early, I am ticking to go and by evening time, I am mentally not in the mood to burn.

The downside with that is that what I cannot get done with by 7pm, gets shoved over to the next day.

It does not escape my mind that there are some whose livelihoods revolve around night jobs.

I truly cannot fathom how they do it, year after year without turning into grumps.

I would go bonkers and probably turn into an ogress – QED.

The Daily Post prompt Because the night.

Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?

A link to my neighbours/Community · Creative Writing · Fiction · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Love · Photographs · Short Stories

No Shoe Chromosone!..He Said, She Said…

December 1, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha26 Comments

Jennifer at INK and QUILL has invited me to participate in 5 day photo story challenge.

Thank you my fair lady Jennifer. I appreciate the nomination and I am excited to jump into this challenge!

Challenge Guidelines:

Post a picture each day, for five consecutive days. Attach a story to your image.

*can be fiction / non-fiction
*poem / short paragraph
*each day nominates another blogger

“Oh look! Isn’t that just gorgeous!” she said.

“Not another shoe!” He whined.

“It’s not just another shoe.” She emphasized.

“Can’t you see it’s lovely red and those cute buckles and bows.”

“They go quite well with my other bag.” She affirmed.

“Which other bag?” He asked in a half-hearted attempt to sound like he even noticed the bags.

”The red one with the purple and white trimming and the feathered straps” She responded offhandedly.

He looked utterly lost.

”Oh never mind! You just never bother to notice.” She chastised.

”How can I keep up with the 100 pairs of shoes in 20 shades of red, 50 shades of black and blue, plus a dozen other shades of colours not described in the colour palette along with so many bags?” He countered.

“How many shoes and bags does a girl really need?” He muttered under his breath.

She: Pursed her lips in pouting thought, he had lost her to shoe chromosome which he seemed to lack.

“Oh Come on! Be a darling and just hold on to these bags while I try it out.” She cajoled.

In a sigh of deflated defeat, he sank into the shop chair and prepared his mind for a round of appropriate admiring oohs and aahs!

I nominate Deb to join the photo story challenge. I look forward to reading from you if you choose to participate. Enjoy 🙂

Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You · Social Issues · Success

A Nanny Goat and Her Young Ones….

November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

When we analyze the state of things and how it appears that norms and values, respect and everything have been eroded, it also occurs to me that as adults, parents, custodians and educators of the young ones under our care, we are equally failing in passing on these expected values, right norms, respect and all that is deemed to constitute a responsible human onto these young ones.

Behavioural skills, social norms and beliefs are learnt and they do not grow on trees. They are acquired through constant teaching and emulation. A child is only radicalized through the teachings of an adult or someone in a position of respect. A child is equally taught respect from early days!

The younger generation did not wake up spoilt! Not at all!

We the older generation loaded them with ammunition like kegs of gunpowder and it takes just a strike of a match for them to combust.

They watch and learn from us, add their own individuality and whatever the end result turns into is a product of that.

In essence a child is a by-product of his/her upbringing and society.

We should therefore hold ourselves 90% responsible for the spate of violence, moral decadence, loss of respect and every other vice that rears up its ugly head in today’s World.

We should not lose sight of the fact that we wield a lot of authority in helping these young ones form, therefore we should exercise it in the right manner.

A lot of times, when I take a look today at the my own life cycle, it does not fail to occur to me that the tenets which I have held mostly onto are those ones inculcated in me in my formative years and I daresay that those tenets are the ones that kept me from sinking, even when I furiously dug pits that could have caved in on me. “When a child is raised in the way that he should go, when he grows, he will not depart from it.”

Let me share a couple of African proverbs for today, and bid you a good day.

”When the nanny goat eats grass, it’s young ones watch her mouth and imitate.”

”If a child shoots an arrow that reaches the top of a tall palm tree, then it must be that an elderly person carved the bow and arrow for him.”

”The instruction of a child in youth is like engraving on a stone.”

”When a mother hen has been caught and killed, her chicks become easy prey.”

Once again, Chape thank you for inviting me to the quotes challenge. I shall extend the same courtesy to these awesome bloggers:

Danny

Maria Jansson

Jennifer Calvert

Kind regards,

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Feeling like an outsider is not a memory that I can latch on to easily as a child because while growing up, my parents home was teeming with family members, hard work and a lot of play that there was no room left to feel left out.

However, these silly pangs showed their green eyes during my semi-adult early years at the University.

I was a freshman and boy-friendless at that point in time, my senior roommates all had their heartthrobs, going out for parties and what have you and in a bid to feel like part of the crowd, I bowed to peer influence (which is not only very real but can be dangerous as well) and duly started dating to foster my own false sense of belonging.

Peer pressure can be subtly or out-rightly intimidating and when a budding young person is ensnared by some of these trappings of false freedom (away from home and parental influence that have cocooned you for so long) for the first time, it can be a combustion of a whole lot of factors, without paying mind to extraneous complications or consequences.

Sometimes, I look back and truly thank God from the depth of my soul that I did not wind up dead by some of the youthful escapades and exuberance that my adventurous self ventured into – a story that can create a book.

Now as a full grown adult, I have grown into my own sense of self-assurance, self-love, self-inclusion and belonging, sufficiently enough, to create my own windows and not have to peep into the neighbours own.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Outsiders

Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story · Tips for the day

I came, I live, I laugh, I love….What about You?

November 18, 2015November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

No one likes to dwell on thoughts of death, but the grim reaper is a visitor that likes to call uninvited. He doesn’t ring any door bells when he arrives otherwise he will not meet anyone at home.

So like a thief in the dead of the night, he slinks in!

Since death is an inevitable fact of life that can happen at any time, should it matter to us that our sojourn here on mother earth is remarkable?

Should it not matter to us that we live our lives in such a way that when we kick our individual buckets we would have left a mark that warms the heart of those who remember us and not a shudder of dread with a muttered “good riddance to bad rubbish?”

For all that it is worth, the part of leaving heartwarming thoughts behind appeals to me far better than being a grimace on someone’s face.

If I am well off enough to leave a few heirlooms to loved ones here and there, that would be very nice and dandy, but I think the most important things that I would like to be remembered for are encapsulated in these simple words:

”I came, I lived, I laughed and I loved.”

I came, because I am presently here and was purposefully brought into existence.

I am no mistake (no child is a mistake no matter the circumstance of birth).

I lived.
By being myself
By doing what I love…writing, reading, learning, dancing, talking, drawing, eating and so on…
Living a purpose driven life.
By spending time with my loved ones.
Helping others and sharing with others as much as I can.
By being thankful.
By keeping healthy and exercising.
By mentoring and life coaching both for others and for my own benefit.
By keeping stress at a minimal level.
By dumping the negative thinking.
By forgiving and moving on.
By appreciating nature.

I laughed.

Growing a sense of humour even self-deprecatory humour is healthy.
Laughter is a healer. It is music and fireworks to the soul. Life is so much better with laughter and I want a life enriched with laughter.

I loved.

I would love as much as my heart can expand and the heart can expand so, so much when we give it the chance to do so.

I want to live so that when I die, even the undertaker would be sorry that I am gone.

Not a particularly cheery topic right? However, when you dwell on it, it actually helps to streamline ones purpose and priorities.

So do tell, what part would you like to be remembered for? Heartwarming or Grimacing?

NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?

Devotions · Gratitude · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

In Everything…

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha31 Comments

It is often too easy to express gratitude and thanksgiving when everything seems to be in the right place in our lives and around us, and such a hard task to have a grateful heart when everything seems to be falling apart.

No doubt, it is not an easy task to remain on the upbeat and positive, but we should not tarry too long in the doldrums.

Nature abhors vacuum and if at the point in time when our spirits are very low and we fail to fill that gap made with edifying and uplifting emotions, habits, thoughts, reactions etc, the vacuum will be filled with defeatist spirits, with oppressive moods that will suck us down into a pit that requires so much energy to climb out of.

Sometimes, some are never able to regain their sense of self and things spiral out of control.

When things are falling apart, we must struggle to keep our sense of grace, gratitude and thanksgiving, because in deed, in everything we give thanks and our heart of thanksgiving, of gratitude will only expand our coast.

There is a time and season for everything and though darkness may come at night, surely there will be light at day.

For today’s gratitude choice, I am grateful for the light of day.

I am grateful to be among the living and know that I still have the chance today to make better that which I failed yesterday.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to dwell on the things that are important.

I am grateful that even in the time of war that there is still love existing.

I am grateful that I am safe and of sound mind.

I am grateful that the simple things of life are accorded to me from above.

I am grateful that I have met friends such as you in this space and thankful for all the love that I see floating around in this space.

I am thankful for a friend like Oneta Hayes who has gone out of her way to say lovely things about me; I heard through the grapevine 😉 My lady, you are a gem 🙂 Bless your golden heart.

Let us not lose sight of the fact that no situation is permanent that ”this too shall pass” whatever it is and we must make each day count in beautiful ways.

What are you grateful for? When you count your blessings and name them one by one, it will surely surprise you at how much you are blessed.

Shalom

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

How Complete Do You Feel?…

November 17, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha29 Comments

As the days go by, I have truly realized that contentment and peace are not items that can be borrowed, purchased or stolen.

No amount of prosperity or material gains can put something in a soul that is derelict or lacking and no other human is responsible for my happiness but myself.

One can aim to attain the satisfaction of living a complete life from within themselves and not from without.

Personally, I don’t tie the state of my well-being to anything that lacks intrinsic value outside myself and God.

It is a continuous pursuit for me and I strive to achieve this state of being by:

Trying to understand myself and what truly makes me happy.
Staying in tune with my responsibility.
Seeking enabling ways to free my mind and de-stress.
Finding positive things to do.
Strengthening my health and finances.
Extending kindness to others.
Pursuing my passion and interests.
Maintaining good relationships.

Keeping my life simple and trying not to worry as much about things that are not within my power to change but doing my absolute best to change those that are within my line of sight and control.

With all these things on a balanced scale, I feel excited and alive, knowing that each day, I give life my best shot because tomorrow is not guaranteed anyone.

I cannot afford to extend the promise of living and feeling as complete as I can in expectation of events which are merely temporal and may never arise.

Traveling to see new places, buying the little niceties that I can afford to buy are just toppings on a life to be savoured.

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Tuesday, November 17

What is one place you need to see to feel like your life is complete?

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Love · Poetry/Poems · Social Issues

We can, Can’t we?….

November 16, 2015November 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

You know,

Empty dreams,

Don’t make beautiful Worlds!

The consistent actions of you and I, do!

So tell me, what do you propagate around you?

Are you engaged sowing seeds of accord or discord?

Would you just take a moment and check your circle of influence!

Plant that seed that you want to reap! It will grow into a tree of bounty!

Cease wasting time on wishful thinking!

We can be the World that we wish to see!

Shalom!

Images: Pinterest

Family · Life · Love

We Gyrate Till Day Break!…

November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Most Nigerians I know love to have a good party or what we Lasgidi people (I was once a Lagos babe, so I am always a Lagos babe) call Owambe, where you will wiggle your waist to vibrant music till the wee hours of the morning.

The social scenery is such a robust one with all manners of lavish events going on every weekend from child dedication, to birthday party, weddings (always tops the list) anniversaries, burial ceremonies and so on.

We do not do these things in half measures and even a man whose pockets are to let by society standards, will still manage to put something together that will bring his neighours gathering.

If I were to put an owambe together for my closest one, my husband or my mother, out of all the countries that I have visited, I would still choose to have my party in Naija. We know how to rock it well!

Our parties are never small, so we generously prepare for lots of guests (even uninvited ones who will tag along).

You need a large enough space to accommodate all and sundry that will gather to celebrate with you.

Our parties are most times preceded with a church thanksgiving depending on the occasion, before everybody convenes at the party venue.

Of course, the Dee-Jay would have the music on a spin with a good mix that will bring most people to their feet and in between dancing, small chops, drinks, party favours are handed out.

We also sew elaborate or buy very glamourous outfits to suit these occasions and the jolliness is usually infectious.

We never bother with RSVP because we always make sure that Rice and Stew is Very Plenty! (Just spoke it with my pidgin accent on my mind)

Quick Glossary for words that you may not know:

Lasigidi – A nickname for the city of Lagos state, Nigeria.

Owambe – A Yoruba word which means ”it (party) is happening here.”

Naija: Naija is another name for Nigeria, the patriotic name for Nigerians to show their strength and smartness.

Image courtesy: Nairaland.

The Daily Post prompt RSVP

Plan the ultimate celebration for the person you’re closest to, and tell us about it. Where is it? Who’s there? What’s served? What happens?

Family · Life · Love · Personal story

A Frolicking Day….

November 13, 2015November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha36 Comments

Ever since I became a wife and mother, my views about days off and such luxury changed. Ideal days off or should I say hours off are found in snatches here and there.

It all depends on what is happening in our lives at that point in time. It would start with waking up and finding that my family are in good state of health. No major dramas except the usual hungry humans, school/work related matters, housekeeping blah, blah.

It’s a day off to go shopping quietly all by myself and return without settling a thousand squabbles of my offspring along the way.

It’s a day off in my mind when I have that me time to unwind and read my book, listen to music, dance, take a walk or savour a good meal.

However, there are also extra special days such as the one that I spent today with the kiddos at Jumeirah Beach.

It’s weekend already in this part of the World and we decided to generally go lounging and frolicking in the water and sand.

It is rewarding in so many ways to spend time like this with them.

Lounging and enjoying the fresh breeze coupled with people watching is an awesome sport too 😉

The beach presents you literally with humans of all shapes and sizes. You can watch and make up stories in your mind to your hearts delight, then again, some real time stories get to happen right before your eyes.

We caught some odds and ends on camera (like the Air Force formation in the sky), we had a greasy lunch and came home happy.

Day offs are really what one chooses to make of it. For me it is a state of well-being/mind and finding my peace in the midst of each days ups and downs.

In response to NaBloPoMo, Friday, November 13

Describe your ideal day off. What would you do with your time?