Tag Archive | Humour

Boobs, Breasts and Bras…

Yes, you read the topic ‘boobs, breasts and bras,’ correctly. This is a little chit-chat about your bosom buddies and they are nothing to fear or dread. Being a woman, you can’t disassociate from parts of you that accentuate your femininity and if you’re like most women, you know your breasts intimately – their ups and downs, how they fit into your bras, the way they look in certain dresses, what they feel like at different times of the month and perhaps if you are getting on in age, the changes they go through as the law of gravity helps them head downhill.

Interestingly, it took me getting to the ripe old age of my 30’s to get comfortable with my gals, and I attribute our delay in getting to know each other well to two main things: frustrating bra shopping escapades and lack of better insight on how to find the right kind of bras for me.

As odd as it might sound, choosing the right bra for your shape and size isn’t always that easy, and sadly, most women find the experience to be such an ordeal that sometimes after scouring through dozens of bras, sweating, huffing and puffing in the changing room, you end up leaving the store with nothing at all, or sometimes you leave with a bra that’s entirely wrong for you, which I presume is worse.

For those of us who have been well endowed in the upper chambers of boobs department, finding comfortable, yet beautiful and efficient bras that help to support our buddies and boost their confidence is truly a path to wellness and peace of mind. I vividly recall my last months’ foray into a well-known top brand store that I shall keep a secret, every bra – even though they were meant to be my attributed size – left me thinking that I had supplementary breasts and by the end of the frustrating escapade I’m not sure who felt more pained between the attendant and me. The whole experience left me feeling like an elephant trying to wear fripperies and negligees and I couldn’t help venting a little on my Facebook update.

Following my little update, a friend sent me the image below which not only made me chuckle, but made me realize that the journey of the bras is a common denominator among women and with my tongue in my cheek, I dare ask, which illustration matches your predicament?

I have reached an age where I am no longer going to part with my money for flimsies that don’t uphold me no matter how pretty they look. In search of great, high quality bras with good support, I have abandoned those infernal underwire cups that most times leave you feeling pinched, caged in and out of breath. Let the truth be told, at a certain age, the law of gravity brings the perkiness of your boobs down by several notches and though you don’t want to look ridiculous trying to push your boobs up to the high heavens, you equally don’t want them dangling to your knees. What you want is the right upliftment of comfy, beautiful and supportive bras that will treat your bosom buddies right.

Quick Tips on How to Make Bra Shopping Less of a Pain

  • It pays to know your size. To find your bust size, measure around your ribs just under your breasts and measure around the fullest part of your breasts. Subtract the band measurement (ribs) from the bust measurement to get your cup size.
  • Make sure that your entire breasts are in the cup, not spilling over or to the sides.
  • Check that the straps are not digging into or sliding off your shoulders.
  • The centerpiece between the two cups should lay flat on your sternum.
  • The thicker the band, the more support you will get.
  • Be patient and have fun with it.

Cosy Party…Ronovan Writes Weekly Haiku Challenge

A cheerful prompt ‘Party & Enjoy,’ for this week’s haiku from Ronovan. Many haikus silly haikus came to mind, but I settled on these ones.

eating chocolate

Cosy party for me and I,

lazy couch, books, cookies, music to enjoy,

now that is just divine.

Image result for party pooper images

 

He is such a mooch

and a known party pooper to boot

nothing to enjoy around him

ζ

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The King and I

When I saw Ronovan’s haiku prompt for this week, ‘King & Day’  I couldn’t resist being naughty and poking fun at a certain ‘King of The Free World.’

Forgive me 😉

Image result for images of the naked King

Should the arrogant naked King and I
spend a jolly day together
I would tell him ‘you are ignorant.’

The King would probably be so mad
yelling ‘off with her head,’
‘cos he hates the truth any day.

©

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Image courtesy: Pinterest

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Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Do step in and show some love.

Borders have been breached  Protect your peace and cut out the drama.

Surviving my past I AM NOT WEAK, JUST HUMAN. Please watch this short video from the Good Men Project.

Unlikely probiotics Well you don’t say. This is absolutely interesting and squirmy stuff. Sometimes to treat ailments we really do the dirty stuff. Take a read.

Pomegranate fever With my tongue in my cheek, I must ask you this question. ARE You underperforming? If per chance you hesitate, maybe this post is for you. Enjoy 😉

7 effective tips on how to stay healthy when your family member is sick As a parent, I know how tasking it can get nursing a sick child/children. Sometimes, they all come down with the flu which makes it’s round from one person to the next that holding it together without breaking down becomes a major feat. Useful, practical tips to help you keep on top of things.

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Ringing my bell…

Image result for image of christmas door bell

The children press my doorbell in mischief,

it’s ringing, jingling Christmas tune

has become their temporary source of delight

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

I smiled when I saw the prompt for Ronovan’s weekly haiku door & bell because it was easy to choose what to write about.

My Christmas doorbell that I put last week has been pressed twice more than usual, sometimes by my own children and sometimes, I hear the high excited voice of the neighbours little daughters as they press it and run down the passage.

Their squeals make me smile 🙂

My Bathroom Genie

Image result for images of shower

My bathroom muse always appears like a genie with the bulb

under the lavish stream of water and soapsuds.

Brilliant writing tips pop into my head

in a perfect plot, sequence and all.

Yet, once I sit at the desk

in an attempt to capture it all,

the fickle muse fizzles away

just like those soap bubbles.

Short of repeating the thoughts

mindlessly like a mantra in my head,

I guess I must start taking the notepad

into the shower as well 😉

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

 

Awkward Moments – Streams of Consciousness Saturday.

I guess we all have an awkward moment now and again, but as long as it’s not fatal, we live through it and sometimes even find them quite amusing later. One of the moments I constantly feel that awkward silence is getting on a lift with strangers. I wonder if it’s the confining space, but there’s always this pervasive silence that hangs thick in the air and sometimes I try to break the silence by saying hello.socsbadge2016-17

On the other hand, I brought on my latest mortifying moment while doing a vegetable smoothie cleanse. I know that it’s a good thing but believe when I say that it does have its downsides as well 🙂

Two weeks ago, I was tired of feeling tired and heavy, so I decided to do a three days vegetable smoothie cleanse to flush my system because it felt sluggish, so I prepared a jug of veggie smoothie and took it overnight.

By morning time, I was happy to let out the junk in my trunk and went to the gym for a quick workout. I was happily trudging away on the stepper with my headphones and fave music blasting away when I had a grip of tummy rumbling gas. Feeling flustered, I gingerly tried to step off and get to the restroom, but alas, I didn’t make it!

Some noisome toot unwittingly  escaped by themselves overriding my will and grace to be ladylike. Based on the startled and judging looks that other patrons gave me, I guess it was loud enough (though I didn’t’ hear them because of my headphones).

Not my best moment yet, but hey, we all have those awkward moments in our lives and it’s just fine. Sometimes nature gets the better of you 😉

Our SOC’s prompt for today is ‘awkward’ and our gracious hostess for this weekend is Joey of Joeyfully Stated. Good job my lady.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. Are you coming to the party? It’s LIVE right now and you can join the fun through this link. See you 🙂


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Yippee! Yes I Can! – Personal

Today, I am thankful for the fact that I passed my Karate-do grading test, graduating from novice white to yellow belt. Yes!

As an overweight mom in her early forties, I found every reason under the blue sky to discourage myself from taking Karate classes – I used my age, my weight, time and every excusable excuse – but the desire in me was stronger than my excuses.picsart_09-21-05-08-501

I felt that I would be out of place and yes I’m still out of place – the only mama in the crowd of young children and men.

I told myself that my painful knees wouldn’t take it and would probably break.

Somedays, I felt too lazy to go for the night class and each day I had a class, I literally had to ask for the grace to survive it and I bought knee braces.

I knew within me that sticking to it was not going to be easy, but it would be far more empowering as against standing by the sidelines and watching others.

My children encouraged me and became my private coach at home even as I bungled all my moves 🙂

Yes, I burst into tears when I did my test and passed my katas to the cheer of everyone around – I can get emotional.

No, I didn’t tear my dojo pants as I feared I would and made sure I wore nice unmentionables just in case 😉

My heart felt full last night when I received my grading certificate.

I don’t care that I might be the elephant in the house entertaining others with my trundling moves, but you know what, I said I would do it, I had to ask for grace each day to do it and I did it 🙂

I’m sharing this post to encourage those who have things they want to do, but for some excuses are not able to.

Each day grace and gratitude take me higher; get your thankful suit on.

There are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfillment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


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Bursted!…

Image result for burst balloon

His ego was so huge,
that everyone thought it was spectacular;
no one knew that it was just a bubbly, jellied balloon,
that beneath the gigantic elastic words,
lay a fragile, small mind.

They helped him to blow it up and massaged it,
it grew and grew until the center could no longer hold,
and the gigantic ego bubble burst,
all the fragility was set amok,
to open-mouthed looks of shock.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Fragile – The Daily Post


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