Blogging · Creative Writing · Life · Travel

The GPS Route of My Heart…

UNN Entrance

We are asked to use our maps as our muse. To tell you about where we’ve come from. About where we’ve been and the places that we have not been to but would like to be and how all these ‘where’s‘ have shaped who we are through our connections with them.

Now, this is a tough choice for me, because my roaming heart has roosted in many places. Some sojourns brief and some for extended periods of time and yet it hasn’t stopped roaming.

I have fallen in love with them all. You may question ”how can she fall in love with so many things?” I will tell you that I believe in going wherever I go or doing whatever I do with all my heart.

I will tell you that falling in love with many things, makes you see the beauty of these things/places/people beyond the peripheries. If you care to say; why would you invest so much emotions into this places? My question would be, Why not?

I choose to love the places that I have lived or been to because I go there, not seeking for things to criticize about their culture or place, but seeking to understand, to know more and to appreciate more.

Thus, all the places that my feet have rested on, have one way or the other decorated my heart.

Join me for a brief and quick jaunt with the GPS of my heart and see these places through my rose-spectacle vision.

I flit like a delicate butterfly;

Over expanses of space and through cycles of time;

I perch on many lovely petals;

Inhaling intoxicating fragrance;

Sensitized by lushness and soft feels;

It draws a sigh from me;

When they say hello!

University of Nigeria Nsukka: A peaceful, sleepy enclave situated in Nsukka, which is a small town and Local Government Area in South-East Nigeria in Enugu State.

The place of my birth and where I lost my milk teeth. A home to thousands of great academics who have passed through it’s corridors and are dispersed all over the diaspora doing great exploits. From The First President of Independent Nigeria – Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, to Nobel Laureate – Chinua Achebe, Chimamanda Ngozi-Adichie, my humble self and so many others.

Let us wander a bit down the red earth beaten path of this charming campus of academics which my parents were part of. I am doubtful if our GPS would work, but I can follow my nose because it knows.

Lovely bungalows occupied by university staff, line the campus quarters streets, from the twining streets of Fulton Avenue to Margaret Cartwright, from Alvin Loving to Eze-Opi crescent, from Odim Street to Mbonu Ojike; just to name a few.

The bungalows are only separated by well kept Cashuarina hedges, Queen of the night flowers, Purple Hibiscus, Honeysuckle plants or Bougainvilleas. The whistle of the swaying whistling pines pierces through the air frequently. It is also a breezy and cool town.

A community where everybody knows everybody else and their business. Birthdays, marriages, deaths, successes and failures were shared alike. A place where you know that Mr. Francis the shoemakers daughter would be getting married next Saturday and a communal bus is obtained to convey neighbours for the event. A place where Mama Uju was sure to inform you when Uju has put to bed and she is off to stay for weeks of ”Omugwo” in her daughters house.

It is a town that reminds me of mango trees heavy laden with fat juicy fruits, of sweet sticky cashew fruits, of the best bananas this side of the planet, of lazy summers spent with friends, of the cold harmattan seasons when red dust curled up in the air painting us in light earthy dust and we glittered like happy urchins.

Nostalgic recollections of school days and bicycle races, of promenades and church bazaars, of picnics and the end of year parties, something was always going on and you could smell Christmas around the corner coupled with the pursuits from local masquerades.

All escapades were duly taken note of and oftentimes, an honorary auntie or uncle was willing to straighten you out even before your parents were privy to the embellished version of your hell-raising ways. Of course, this will be followed by more straightening from your parents and sufficient catechism to exorcise every rebellious spirit that might be festering in you 🙂

By the way, the Reverend is probably not just the towns priest but also a good friend of the family, so your confessions had better be sanctified enough not to make him suffer palpitations.

Enugu:

A brief detour through Enugu, the city of my undergraduate days where I discovered my nubile young self. Getting up to mischief that would definitely turn our Reverends hair white in an instant. The city where this young girls heart first knew what it meant to feel deflated. My first independent move away from daddy’s sharp eyes and mummy’s apron strings.

Lagos:

If you ask me, I will always tell you that I am first and foremost a Naija woman, secondly an Achi native (my homestead), thirdly, an Nsukka child fourthly a Lasgidi babe and lastly a citizen of the World.

Lagos my Lagos: One of the most fascinating metropolis that you will ever visit. You hardly have an idea of what to expect next minute. It is the largest city in Africa, teeming wall-to-wall with people, bumper-to-bumper with cars, noise and pollution beyond belief. Highways and flyovers are jammed with hold-ups and go-slows on top, and tin-and-cardboard shacks underneath.

It is the economic and cultural powerhouse of the country, with much thanks to an absurd wealth of oil money, it has an exploding arts and music scene that will keep your ”yansh” gyrating far past dawn at ”Owambes.”

Lagos holds a lot of good memories for me; from my working years at The French Embassy and British American Tobacco to the actual succumb to throes of love for my husband whom I met in Lagos, before he whisked me off on a whirlwind nomadic journey.

If you’re headed to Nigeria, you’ll have no choice but to jump right into the madness here.

One day, I shall talk about the stints in other places:

Of France and a romantic dalliance;

Of Switzerland and the quaint apartment on Rue de Geneve;

Of London and Liverpool and the tale of the accents mingled with near drowning episodes in Earl Grey Tea;

Of the West African States, the neighbours like brothers;

Of Amsterdam, Brussels, Strasbourg and the likes;

Of Johannesburg, Cape Town and my thoughts;

New York, New Jersey, Maryland, Baltimore, Houston, California, Austria, Venice, Kenya, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Sao Tome Principe, Istanbul……..the GPS of my heart is really busy.

I wander through life;

From place to place ;

From State to state;

I am no rolling stone;

I do gather a lot of moss;

They cling to my make up as I roll along;

A resting place for many who come along;

As they listen to tales of the big green acres.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Quick Glossary:

Omugwo:  The birth of a baby In Igboland and other eastern Nigerian ethnic groups means that the nursing mother and child has to be ministered unto by a very close and experienced female relation. In most cases, the person who takes care of her, is her mother. If the mother is not alive or around, her step-mother performs the functions.

Yansh: Your backside.

Lasgidi: Another name for the city of Lagos, Nigeria’s largest city.

Naija: Naija is another name for Nigeria, the patriotic name for Nigerians to show their strength and smartness.

Owambe: It (party) is happening here.

Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · The Daily Post

A Step back into Childhood….

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Life’s a Candy Store.”

BookstoreWhat a delightful day this would be! I am six years old again and I get to spend it as I please and with whom I choose.

Well! Well! Whoever says that life doesn’t have it’s pleasant sweet spots and that the lines don’t fall in the right places is a big, fat lying Pinocchio! Just watch me 🙂

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. Of course, I am still young enough to get excused from doing serious chores, apart from brushing my teeth properly, taking my shower and eating sumptuous helpings of mummy’s homemade pancakes with dripping drizzles of maple syrup, nicely done omelets (no vegetables please), sausages, baked beans and a nice warm cup of cocoa.

We all pile into my daddy’s lovely blue Renault Saloon car. It has seen a lot of good mileage and made lots of beautiful memories.

Off we go to Leventis super stores in Enugu; a forty-five minutes drive from our abode in Nsukka, through the old road and past the Milken hill.

Milken hill is a verdant wilderness and as I peer through the wound up windows of our beloved Renault with plate number ”ECH 480” winding, its way through the snaky, precarious, hilly road with its scary drop, my child eyes imagine the trumpeting Elephants, the roaring Lions and the curious monkeys that inhabit that wilderness.

The scary drop seems like a bottom less pit and one must negotiate it with care. Many cars have been known to meet a fatal stop on this part of the road.

We make it safely to Leventis. It is a store of a child’s dream and every book and toy that my mind can conjure is stocked here.

Chinny, you and your siblings can go and select three items each for yourselves.” ”Two books and one toy each.” ”We have two hours to spend before we go to visit your cousins, daddy says to me.”

Daddy is such a wonderful man. He knows I love books and he stokes it rather nicely by buying lots of them for me 🙂

I make a beeline for the huge outlay of more books than I have ever seen.

Rows and rows of beautiful, vibrantly coloured story books fill my eyes. A browse and a selection of the two books that I want to go home with are made. I then settle down at the children’s corner where I quickly digest  another one whilst waiting for mummy to finish making her purchases.

I debate in my mind whether to exchange my toy option for a third book. I know that on a good day when we are not squabbling, my sister will allow me to play with her new doll and I want all the books in the book store to belong to me.

I negotiate very nicely with daddy and I end up with four books instead of two. I have diligently checked the prices on all the girly toys and they far outweigh the price of two extra books; somehow, I feel sensible and smart. I think daddy appreciates my consideration.carousel

Don’t be mistaken, I love toys like all children, but my love for books far outweighs my love for toys. Besides, I already saw my parents looking at Raleigh bicycles. I know that they would be purchasing one for each of us.

Our shopping is done! We make a quick stop at No 1. Chief Alex Ekwueme street, the home of my favorite cousins. They don’t need too much coaxing to join us for a picnic party at Polo park.

At the expansive Polo park grounds, we take turns on the rides, on the swings and slides. We play ”Swe” and ‘‘Uga” until hunger pangs kick in and it is time to tuck into the goodies that mummy has dutifully packed.

The picnic basket  bulges with all sorts of goodies – enough to feed an army.  Fizzy pops, cake, cookies, sandwiches, jollof rice with chicken, etc are generously marshaled out on paper plates by mum. picnic at the park

Daddy has a sweet tooth (I think the sweet tooth thing is genetic) and never fails to get those lovely ice lollies on cones for us for dessert.

Our palates are sated and our tummies nicely rounded from food.

Evening is fast approaching. A quick decision on whether to drive back home through the Milken hill or to spend the night at the cousins is made. Auntie Christie always graciously opens the door to her home.

She would always say “Jay-Jay, Alberta (shortened for my dad’s name: James Joseph and my mum’s name Alberta-Bianca), it is too late to go driving back to Nsukka o, you guys must stay over till tomorrow o.”

With delight we turn the house upside down with our horse-play until we were tuckered out.

They had a very big house, with lots of room.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. This article is based on ”my real life story” as recalled from my minds eye as a child.

Quick Glossary

Milken Hill: These hills are found at Ngwo in Enugu North LGA, they are 100 meter above sea level, offering beautiful standpoint for a panoramic view of Enugu metropolis, especially at dawn and dusk. The hill was named after one of the earliest colonial administrator in Enugu. The first road into Enugu city winds through the foot of the hill bounded by a deep gully. Underneath the hills are relics of coal mines and its beautiful tunnels. Beneath the Milken hills is the Iva valley. The hills are good for mountaineering. However, drivers are advised to drive slowly with caution through the meandering roads.

Enugu – One of the State’s in the Eastern part of Nigeria.

Nsukka – A town and Local Government Area in South-East Nigeria in Enugu State

Chief Alex Ekwueme: Former Vice President Alex Ekwueme is one of Nigeria’s most respected statesmen alive today.

Swe – I think this is what is called hopscotch.

Uga – synchronized clapping rhythm of hands followed with feet competition to outwit the other.

Jollof Rice – A popular meal eaten in most West African homes, a one-pot meal made with fried tomato and pepper stew, rice, meat and spices

Life · Love · The Daily Post

Its a Hardworking Love….

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Yin to My Yang.”

Good relationships

There are no perfect relationships! They all require some modicum of work!

Some relationships are fantastic, some are marginally okay whilst some are an absolute lesson in “who not to be with” and probably meant to be tossed into the garbage can.

The term soul mate is a misleading concept that hints at perfectionism, which is not a word that can be ascribed to any human.

We all are works-in-progress, who spend a better part of our lives trying to figure out who we are and this process cascades down to everything that concerns our lives. ”There is always room for improvement.”

That said, The Yin and The Yang of soul-mating, are those parts in our relationships that keep chipping at each other, until their rough surfaces are smooth enough for the jigsaw puzzle of our characters to blend in seamlessly, or, alternatively, they chaff at each others bits until the edges are so jagged and worn out that ”would be” Soul mates become Stab mates.

It’s a reciprocated effort.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Hope · Life · Poetry/Poems

How Do You Heal A Heartsick Heart?…….HELP me!

sad-black-woman

I know all that I want to say;

There are drafts, lots of them;

The words are not lacking at all;

The ideas are bounteous and overflowing;

Yet I have no words to say anything;

Because I am heartsick!

How do you heal a sick heart?

How do I get my happy again?

I know the words in my treasured Bible;

I know that they comfort me;

I ask for a silver lining in this dark cloud;

But I see nothing; not yet at least;

Is it under my bed?

Maybe I should take a look!

Is it in a bottle?

I have no head for such!

Is it in prayers?

A heavy heart, all I do is sigh!

In the pages of a book?

My drifting mind goes here and there!

Where is it?

But still my heart sickens within me;

I feel empty like a hollow drum;

And I hate to feel this way;

Or to have a pity party;

It is said that time heals;

I think time just covers the sores;

Of oozing wounds;

But the scar tissues are left behind;

To remind us of the battles behind;

I try all the positive pick me ups;

I do hate to be in the doldrums;

I stuff myself with sugary bites;

Hoping to find some delight;

Yet nothing seems to work!

At least I can try to write the pain away!

How do you heal a heartsick heart?

Does anyone know?

Because this struggle is real!

I am human not machine;

I feel things like every other like me;

Despite the upbeat state of mind;

That I choose to maintain;

Sometimes, the pain is so real

It consumes your entire being;

You cannot seem to think of anything else;

The laughter is forced;

The companionship is wanted and not wanted;

The placation placates and annoys;

Your feelings are all twisted and upside down;

Sometimes, I wish that it is easy to stop feeling;

To become an Island and create a buffer around your heart;

That way you loose no one and you feel nothing;

But that would be a sad waste wouldn’t it?

The struggle is real!

Some may think it is a show of weakness;

To wail and to seek for help;

But I know that I don’t have all the answers;

Neither do I care for toughies who know it all!

Tell me; how do you heal a heartsick heart?

P.S. When the grim reaper deals a blow; Someone must be left grappling with the wicked show!

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Devotions · Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · The Daily Post

That Thing That Niggles Me…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Must Not Fail.”

Not failingThe fear of failure when it comes to the aspects of life’s material wants has ceased to bother me, because I have really come to realize that we can exist on far less than we tend to surround ourselves with.

I literately and completely believe in the word of God in Ezekiel 34 v 26: that says: I will make them and the places surrounding my hill a blessing. I will send showers in season; showers of blessing.

I have seen this proven true time and time again in my life even when I neither earned it nor deserved it.

I know that as long as life exists that hope exists. That faith and perseverance will sustain me.

It is always wise to keep in mind that failure is only a setback and not the end of the street. It is an invitation to learn from, to grow from and an opportunity to start again.

However, as a mother blessed with lovely children, there is a fear that niggles my heart each day and that is the fear in my ability to do a good job in raising my children.

With the amount of corrosive erosion in human ethics and values, I am concerned and wonder if I am doing enough to raise upright children who will be blessings to their generation. Therefore, I must continue to try.

On a personal note, I live with the fear of failing as a Christian in the true sense of the word. Not the picture of me that the World sees through the acts of Earthly Godliness but the intrinsic me that no one else is privy to.

I however remind myself that it is only by the Grace of God that I am redeemed and not by the arm of my flesh.

These two thoughts drive me everyday and if I do not fail in these two things, then I must count myself as extremely successful.

Let us not fail to remember that success is relative. What count’s as success for me, may be viewed as idiosyncratic nonsense to another.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Life · Musings · Poetry/Poems

Tormented Heart….

Grieving

In the doldrums lies my Soul;
Cast in the deep shadows of melancholic sadness;
Adrift with the lack of sense of it all;

I remember your fair sparkle;
Your gentle modulated tones of speech;
Your laughter that tinkles like little bells;
and your eyes that dance in merriment.

No preceding warning;
Not anything at all!
You were here;
Now you are gone;

Like a wisp of wind, floating…floating away;
You have sailed away;
Never to be seen again.

Your dancing eyes sleep, dimmed in forever;
Your gentle ways a resounding loss;
Your sense of humanity gone…so gone…

Oh! My Soul grieves at the pain of it all;
For the young ones that you have left behind;
Their shocked bewilderment and despair;
Staggering at the blow that fate just dealt;

My eyes are dry and tear ducts sealed;
I am in open-mouthed disbelief;
Yet, I remind myself of the transience of life;
That it shouldn’t come as a surprise;
That Souls journey often to another realm;

Yet, it does surprise and it hurts;
I am as sore as an angry bear!
Shall I say goodbye?
I have no idea how…….

Best friendJacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Life · The Daily Post

When its Over, its Done With…

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Out of Reach.”

The past

Frankly speaking, as the days go by; which by the way is turning out to be one of my favourite statements, I have no regrets about Ex’s that have been left behind!

They came into my life at the point in time that they should have and we moved on at the juncture when the show was over and their time was up to move on. Not all relationships are meant to last forever even when they were absolutely delicious. Nothing in life has permanence!

In my opinion, no place is out of reach to travel to if you want to and set your mind to. It is all in one’s perspective! One place that I visited and stayed for a while and wanted to stay longer than I was entitled to was Geneva – Switzerland. I fell in love with that city; its mix of ancient and modern. No Swiss gentleman was forthcoming to sweep me off my feet and other things in life were beckoning to me, so I had to journey forth 🙂

I don’t believe in dwelling on a past that is out of reach and done with. Thus, I don’t bother looking back at things that are not in my ability to resolve. Minor skirmishes with loved ones, where I need to apologize and make amends, I do that as swiftly as possible and try to mend fences.

I would rather continue my transformation by expending positive energy in creating better moments in the NOW. Moments that would translate to a better tomorrow when it arrives!

Yesterday is gone!

Today is now!

Tomorrow does not lie in my hands and will take care of itself!

Live within the moment and live it in full!

The future

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Hope · Life · Love · Short story · Writing

The Birthing…A short story

Pregnant

Nagging painful pangs wake her from sleep. It is still a week to the Expected Delivery Date (EDD) but she knows that it is time. A cursory glance at the half parted window curtains shows the pale orange hew of the rising Sun. The day has dawned and it seems like it will be an interesting day.

The contorting of her stomach compels her to tap Desmond on the shoulders in an attempt to wake him up. He hardly rouses. He sleeps so deeply that wild horses would enter the room and take the bed under him and he would sleep through it all, she thinks to herself.

Desmond!” “Wake up!” She orders loudly; wishing that she has a bell to peal close to his ears.

He grunts, snuffles and rolls over to his left side.

Desmond!” “Desmond!” “We have to get to the hospital, right now!” “Except you want me to have the baby here in bed, you need to wake up.”

That magic word baby! His eyes quickly fly open, the cobwebs of sleep recede fast as his scrambling thoughts quickly process the information.

Baby, as in baby?” “Right now?” His eyes fly to her contorting belly in stupefaction.

Yes baeeby, dear.” “I think we are having the baby today.” “No more false alarms this time.”

He gathers his wits and quickly jumps into a pair of jeans, throws on a shirt, a hasty mouth wash and helps Debbie to the car.

She walks funny and sluggishly. Her belly feels like it is being ravaged from inside out and her stiff lower back, as if an ill-fitting screw is being tightened into it in slow degrees. She is panting and trying to keep calm, but this is her first baby and all the lessons taught in the birthing class fly out of the window.

They manage to get to the car, without baby popping out when Desmond realizes that he doesn’t have the keys and rushes back inside to pick it up. It is a good thing that they place a stick-on hook on the cabinet in plain sight. Too many times of searching for the keys have been reduced and less gray hairs sprouted!

He spy’s the cute new baby bag that Debbie has put together with things that she wants to take to the hospital still sitting by the new cot and grabs it, rushing out to his doubled-over Mrs. who was looking quite red in the face and growing waspish by the minute.

It is a hair-raising and palm sweaty drive to the hospital, the early morning work rush and the frequent traffic stops are not helping matters along.

Honey, try the Lamaze breathing” he suggests, tapping his fingers on the wheel as he counts the minutes for the light to turn green; it wouldn’t do to run a red light, he had nearly run a red light at the other junction.

And just what to you think I am doing?” ”Practicing my ballet steps?” She snaps at him.

The sudden rush of warm fluid down her thighs, her exclamation, growing pants and whimpering all turn Desmond’s stomach. He feels like using the loo all of a sudden, however, spying the hospitals cross a few meters across the road, calms him down a notch.

Hopefully, the hospital will be ready for them. He had remembered to place a call to Debbie’s Obstetrician.

A quick dash to the reception and with the help of waiting attendants, they are whisked to the labour room. A quick examination and a disappointing observation. “You are 3cm’s dilated.” “You should be ready in a couple of hours” the mid-wife intoned. She sets up of an IV line and a heart rate monitor.

The hours are crawling. Debbie is almost hyperventilating. The pain has grown hydra-heads and the waves of doubling contractions are like the twist of a hot rod. She now wishes that she had opted for an Epidural instead of satisfying her desire for a natural birth.

No one had explained precisely that it would be this excruciatingly painful and so mind numbing, that she begins to see pin points of white light zooming in and out of her pain riddled brain and Desmond is driving her crazy with his placating words.

At a point, she wants to jump off the birthing bed and run away. As if her running would leave the pain behind.

Bend you legs and breathe deeply” Debbie, “Let’s see how things are getting along” the OB/GYN directs. A quick swipe with sterilized swabs, some pokes and prods and he expresses a satisfaction that things are moving along rather well.
You are 7cm dilated. Almost there! Almost there! Just hang in. The baby should be coming within the hour or so, he pronounces.

The back rub helps and annoys her at the same time, the poor dear Desmond is trying but nothing seems satisfactory at the moment. She wants him there but not standing on her last nerve.

Her short, smart bob is now damp. The tendrils hang in lanky strings like limp noodles. The herculean effort not to scream her head off can no longer be contained as the desire to bear down and push grips her.

A flurry of organized movement, the OB/GYN utters words of caution and encouragement not to push so that the cord around the babies neck can be gently disengaged to avert the danger of choking her wind pipes. Seconds, minutes tick past in a blurry, a surgical episiotomy cut…. at last, with that big push and heave of the uterine muscles, the hardworking baby slides out of her mom heads first, in a slippery bath of amniotic fluid and blood.

The squalling perfect cherub is placed on her mothers semi-concave belly. A crying and laughing mommy, a dewy eyed proud daddy admire the sweet red-faced bundle that nature just gifted them.

They sigh in gratitude, pleasure and relief.

She is ours,” Desmond whispers in utter amazement. “Our Mary-Louise” – the combined names of the little one’s grannies.

It’s been an exciting, hardworking nine hours since dawn.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In fulfillment of Writing 101- Day 14 Assignment: Recreate a Single Day

Devotions · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life

Let us PRAY…

Prayer

We thank you Lord for days and times such as these ones;

For your constant shield through life’s challenges.

You raise us, from deep places of despair, doubt and regret;

To higher grounds of Faith, Grace and Hope.

From places of discontentment;

To the overflow of fulfillment.

May our tedious tests become uplifting testimonies.

May the meditation of our hearts and mouths;

Be acceptable before you Lord.

May your blessings that come from the Deep and the Four winds;

Be ours today and always.

Amen.

Prayer 2

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · The Daily Post

At a point it was sinking sand…

mountain tops

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mountaintops and Valleys.”

Describe a time when you quickly switched from feeling at the top of the world to sinking all the way down (or vice versa). Did you learn anything about yourself in the process?

Despite conscious efforts not to be a depressing wet blanket, to maintain a sunny and optimistic outlook in life, there are times when life throws you sucker punches that leaves you gasping for breath and almost asphyxiated.  You are left grappling at anything that will keep you from sinking down the bog that is eager and willing to swallow you whole greedily.

I can think of personal events that hit me in the solar plexus and dragged me from high to rock bottom.

I hate to pull out the tissue box, but I have also learnt that talking about these things, helps to heal gaping wounds.

  • The loss of my preemie baby.
  • 2 consecutive miscarriages.
  • The loss of my dad.
  • A car accident that took the life of a young man. I was the driver!

Without expending a lot of adjectives and flowery prose, losing a baby or even a pregnancy plunges one from the delight of expectancy to nothing… to the pits of despair, hopelessness, anger, sadness, and a multitude of emotions that I can barely define. I leave the rest for you to imagine.

Hearing placating words during such occurrence was barely sufficient if not upsetting. I remember when I suddenly lost my 28 week old baby, and a friend said to me “don’t worry, another baby will come” all I asked was whether a child is a replaceable item like furniture?

My dad’s passing was not a sudden event. It was a painful, grueling battle with cancer and it was not the best of times. Watching the strong man whom I loved so much bowed down by a vicious ailment which left him the ‘sufferer’ and those around him stricken beyond words is not something that I would wish anyone.

We fought like Tigers, but we were left beaten, bruised, bloodied and we lost. Knowing that he was ill did not make the pain any less. My sole joy is that I can honestly testify that my late dad was a good, gentle and upright soul. I will always miss him.

Another event that struck like a bolt of lightning out of the blues was a car accident that I was involved in. You might want to read this A letter to the young man that died. That saying, that a split second can change everything about someone’s life remains true.

I did not come away from these experiences empty handed. I have learnt and still learning to live in the moment and appreciate it. That I can be strong when there is no other choice and not to take anyone or anything for granted.

My biggest lesson so far has been a spiritual journey in Trusting, Believing, and having Faith in God. He has been my source of strength, sanity and boundless peace during these stormy times.

If per chance sharing my experience (that it is possible for someone to rise from the shadowy doldrums to face the light) serves as a source of inspiration and hope for anyone, then something positive would have been achieved.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. No more soppy prompts please. I am out of tissue box. Thank you 😉

Image credit: Sayquotable.com