Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story · Tips for the day

I came, I live, I laugh, I love….What about You?

love-laughter-and-friendshipNo one likes to dwell on thoughts of death, but the grim reaper is a visitor that likes to call uninvited. He doesn’t ring any door bells when he arrives otherwise he will not meet anyone at home.

So like a thief in the dead of the night, he slinks in!

Since death is an inevitable fact of life that can happen at any time, should it matter to us that our sojourn here on mother earth is remarkable?

Should it not matter to us that we live our lives in such a way that when we kick our individual buckets we would have left a mark that warms the heart of those who remember us and not a shudder of dread with a muttered “good riddance to bad rubbish?”

For all that it is worth, the part of leaving heartwarming thoughts behind appeals to me far better than being a grimace on someone’s face.

If I am well off enough to leave a few heirlooms to loved ones here and there, that would be very nice and dandy, but I think the most important things that I would like to be remembered for are encapsulated in these simple words:

”I came, I lived, I laughed and I loved.”

I came, because I am presently here and was purposefully brought into existence.

I am no mistake (no child is a mistake no matter the circumstance of birth).

I lived.
By being myself
By doing what I love…writing, reading, learning, dancing, talking, drawing, eating and so on…
Living a purpose driven life.
By spending time with my loved ones.
Helping others and sharing with others as much as I can.
By being thankful.
By keeping healthy and exercising.
By mentoring and life coaching both for others and for my own benefit.
By keeping stress at a minimal level.
By dumping the negative thinking.
By forgiving and moving on.
By appreciating nature.

I laughed.

Growing a sense of humour even self-deprecatory humour is healthy.
Laughter is a healer. It is music and fireworks to the soul. Life is so much better with laughter and I want a life enriched with laughter.

I loved.

I would love as much as my heart can expand and the heart can expand so, so much when we give it the chance to do so.

I want to live so that when I die, even the undertaker would be sorry that I am gone.

Not a particularly cheery topic right? However, when you dwell on it, it actually helps to streamline ones purpose and priorities.

So do tell, what part would you like to be remembered for? Heartwarming or Grimacing?

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?

be-your-own-man-quote

Devotions · Gratitude · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

In Everything…

Gratitude 4

It is often too easy to express gratitude and thanksgiving when everything seems to be in the right place in our lives and around us, and such a hard task to have a grateful heart when everything seems to be falling apart.

No doubt, it is not an easy task to remain on the upbeat and positive, but we should not tarry too long in the doldrums.

Nature abhors vacuum and if at the point in time when our spirits are very low and we fail to fill that gap made with edifying and uplifting emotions, habits, thoughts, reactions etc, the vacuum will be filled with defeatist spirits, with oppressive moods that will suck us down into a pit that requires so much energy to climb out of.

Sometimes, some are never able to regain their sense of self and things spiral out of control.

When things are falling apart, we must struggle to keep our sense of grace, gratitude and thanksgiving, because in deed, in everything we give thanks and our heart of thanksgiving, of gratitude will only expand our coast.

There is a time and season for everything and though darkness may come at night, surely there will be light at day.

For today’s gratitude choice, I am grateful for the light of day.

I am grateful to be among the living and know that I still have the chance today to make better that which I failed yesterday.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to dwell on the things that are important.gratitude 5

I am grateful that even in the time of war that there is still love existing.

I am grateful that I am safe and of sound mind.

I am grateful that the simple things of life are accorded to me from above.

I am grateful that I have met friends such as you in this space and thankful for all the love that I see floating around in this space.

I am thankful for a friend like Oneta Hayes who has gone out of her way to say lovely things about me; I heard through the grapevine 😉 My lady, you are a gem 🙂 Bless your golden heart.

Let us not lose sight of the fact that no situation is permanent that ”this too shall pass” whatever it is and we must make each day count in beautiful ways.

What are you grateful for? When you count your blessings and name them one by one, it will surely surprise you at how much you are blessed.

Shalom

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life

Accepting Me….

Arriving at a state of confidence has been a journey of a lifetime for me. False bravado can be easily mistaken for confidence but the difference in the two lies in that one can be likened to a wisp of cloud that fizzles away and the other the formation of a whole sky. confidence

It has been a hard won process of learning to love and accept myself, mistakes, warts and all; not because I am perfect but because I am enough, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, because I am a blessing and not an illusion, because I can and will be.

It hasn’t always been so, but time and grace has made me grow very comfortable in my own skin, able to hold my own fort and sensible enough to know that honesty and integrity makes a wholesome human. Honesty breeds confidence because you can stand tall.

In the process of regeneration, there have been times when I have felt like a fraud.

When I felt like I wasn’t up to snuff and that I was simply putting on a facade, but faith and positive affirmations stood in the gap for me and reminded me that I am what I choose to be, that I should not have fear of being found wanting but to have courage because He is.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Great Pretender

Are you full of confidence or have you ever suffered from Imposter Syndrome? Tell us all about it.

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Weave that Dream

How Complete Do You Feel?…

1447768353272[1]As the days go by, I have truly realized that contentment and peace are not items that can be borrowed, purchased or stolen.

No amount of prosperity or material gains can put something in a soul that is derelict or lacking and no other human is responsible for my happiness but myself.

One can aim to attain the satisfaction of living a complete life from within themselves and not from without.

Personally, I don’t tie the state of my well-being to anything that lacks intrinsic value outside myself and God.

It is a continuous pursuit for me and I strive to achieve this state of being by:

  • Trying to understand myself and what truly makes me happy.
  • Staying in tune with my responsibility.
  • Seeking enabling ways to free my mind and de-stress.
  • Finding positive things to do.
  • Strengthening my health and finances.
  • Extending kindness to others.
  • Pursuing my passion and interests.
  • Maintaining good relationships.

Keeping my life simple and trying not to worry as much about things that are not within my power to change but doing my absolute best to change those that are within my line of sight and control.

With all these things on a balanced scale, I feel excited and alive, knowing that each day, I give life my best shot because tomorrow is not guaranteed anyone.

I cannot afford to extend the promise of living and feeling as complete as I can in expectation of  events which are merely temporal and may never arise.

Traveling to see new places, buying the little niceties that I can afford to buy are just toppings on a life to be savoured.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Tuesday, November 17

What is one place you need to see to feel like your life is complete?

Creative Writing · Devotions · Family · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You

A Single Palm Frond Cannot Weave A Basket…

Honestly, I enjoy quotes because these short words tell succinctly, lessons that an entire book may be unable to tell. Thank you Chape for inviting me for a round of 3 quote challenge.

Events of the past couple of days have made me dwell so much more on thoughts of unity and prayer, because as we know very well that, in unity we stand, but in division we fall.Nelson Mandela

I remember when we were much younger and would get into squabbles with each other, my mother was the constant peace broker and she would use simple demonstrations to teach us certain things. Let me share one of them with you.

We had several old woven baskets which were used for storing spices or herbs in the house and she would fetch two of these baskets which were special handiwork of Nsukka tribeswomen – it’s weaving was not so intricate yet effective.

She loosened a bit of the frond at one end and asked each of us to pull at a strand, and the basket unraveled.

‘Can one palm frond make a basket?” She inquired.

”NO, Ma!” We answered in unison.

Comparing the unraveled basket and the one that stood intact, she asked us which one was useful in its state and we pointed at the one which was still intact.

You are one when you stand together and you would be of good use.” ”When you choose to unravel and stand alone, you serve no purpose to anyone and you are weakened because your frond can be bent and broken, while the fronds that are intact cannot be broken together.” She intoned.

Let us remember to band together in prayers, in wisdom, in strength and in positivity to be of good use.

On that note, I will leave you with these African proverbs:

”If you wish to go quickly you go alone, but if you wish to go far, you go together.”

”When trees stand together they make a forest.”

”When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.”

”Two ants do not fail to pull one grasshopper.”

I would like to invite these awesome bloggers to participate in the quote challenge:

Dr Meg Sorick

anghulinghugotero

Maria Holm

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

Creative Writing · Devotions · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Musings · Poetry/Poems

Victorious Peace Even When The Tempest Rages…

Glorious sunset

The winds whispered and then they howled,

The thunder clapped and began to roar,

The lightning danced, throwing fire darts in mad glee,

The Earth rumbled in the quake,

It’s groaning and shivering,

A disheartened statement from deep tectonic plates.

We thought that all would be rendered asunder…..

…..But then came The voice and whispered into the ravaged Earth,

Dripping red with blood,

Peace! Be still!

……and the Earth stood still.

May the peace that transcends common understanding,

Be your portion today and always.

PEACE!!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Victory

Forget the sad times. This week, it’s all about reveling in a win.

Devotions · Life · Little rants · Poetry/Poems · Social Issues

Vive La Republique Du France!…

1447500820472[1]

I had my post for today all ironed out and set to go, until I woke up this morning and saw the news and I simply lost the desire for a light and chatty post.

A sick feeling settled in my stomach as I watched in utter stupefaction, the constant replay of attacks on innocent people gathered together for a concert, gathered to cheer their teams at the stadium; coldly murdered.

It wearies one to ask why? Why this hysterical, senseless killing? It just no longer makes sense.

Just several days ago we were reeling from this and now this.

I have a very special affinity for Paris and France as a whole. It means more to me than just a lovely holiday spot.

I am bilingual ( English /French ) a language that I spent 5 years to learn and I owe loyalty to this beautiful Nation for the opportunities it presented to my life.

For several years, I worked for the Embassy of France and the European Union.

I met my husband at “Maison de France” and I always feel like a part of me has come home when I visit Paris.

They welcome and throw their doors open to all and sundry who come to pay homage to this iconic city of European heritage and they are the least discriminating people that I happen to know from my sojourns in different parts of the World.

Shame on this infamy!

Shame on humans whose behaviour are nothing less than cowardly and dishonourable!

Even as the bloodbath and carnage of innocent ones soaks into the soil of its land, France’s pride and it’s beauty can never be cut down!

Hearts bowed in pain, we grieve.

Thrumming heat in our veins we scream.

Why do you kill me?

For I have done you nothing!

I have dined with you!

I have lain with you!

I cried with you and I laughed with you!

Yet you gather like locusts,

To feast on my flesh!

Have I done you any wrong?

That you kill us in throngs?

A mother weeps for a lost child!

A father bemoans his loved ones!

For the souls cut down in cold blood!

Who have done you no wrong!

Let our courage not fail us!

Nor our hearts cease to beat within us!

For they shall never know peace!

For the loss of the deceased.

The torment of their souls shall never cease!

Until they seek to find peace!

Peut les âmes des défunts reposent en paix/May the souls of the departed rest in peace!

Vive La France!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Life · Love

We Gyrate Till Day Break!…

Naija party

Most Nigerians I know love to have a good party or what we Lasgidi people (I was once a Lagos babe, so I am always a Lagos babe) call Owambe, where you will wiggle your waist to vibrant music till the wee hours of the morning.

The social scenery is such a robust one with all manners of lavish events going on every weekend from child dedication, to birthday party, weddings (always tops the list) anniversaries, burial ceremonies and so on.

We do not do these things in half measures and even a man whose pockets are to let by society standards, will still manage to put something together that will bring his neighours gathering.

If I were to put an owambe together for my closest one, my husband or my mother, out of all the countries that I have visited, I would still choose to have my party in Naija. We know how to rock it well!

Our parties are never small, so we generously prepare for lots of guests (even uninvited ones who will tag along).

You need a large enough space to accommodate all and sundry that will gather to celebrate with you.

Our parties are most times preceded with a church thanksgiving depending on the occasion, before everybody convenes at the party venue.

Of course, the Dee-Jay would have the music on a spin with a good mix that will bring most people to their feet and in between dancing, small chops, drinks, party favours are handed out.

We also sew elaborate or buy very glamourous outfits to suit these occasions and the jolliness is usually infectious.

We never bother with RSVP because we always make sure that Rice and Stew is Very Plenty! (Just spoke it with my pidgin accent on my mind)

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Quick Glossary for words that you may not know:

Lasigidi – A nickname for the city of Lagos state, Nigeria.

Owambe – A Yoruba word which means ”it (party) is happening here.”

Naija: Naija is another name for Nigeria, the patriotic name for Nigerians to show their strength and smartness.

Image courtesy: Nairaland.

The Daily Post prompt RSVP

Plan the ultimate celebration for the person you’re closest to, and tell us about it. Where is it? Who’s there? What’s served? What happens?

Family · Life · Love · Personal story

A Frolicking Day….

Caught in the mesh of street weaving.
Caught in the mesh of street weaving.

Ever since I became a wife and mother, my views about days off and such luxury changed. Ideal days off or should I say hours off are found in snatches here and there.

It all depends on what is happening in our lives at that point in time. It would start with waking up and finding that my family are in good state of health. No major dramas except the usual hungry humans, school/work related matters, housekeeping blah, blah.

The young ones
The young ones

It’s a day off to go shopping quietly all by myself and return without settling a thousand squabbles of my offspring along the way.

It’s a day off in my mind when I have that me time to unwind and read my book, listen to music, dance, take a walk or savour a good meal.

However, there are also extra special days such as the one that I spent today with the kiddos at Jumeirah Beach.1447418857488[1]

It’s weekend already in this part of the World and we decided to generally go lounging and frolicking in the water and sand.

It is rewarding in so many ways to spend time like this with them.

Lounging and enjoying the fresh breeze coupled with people watching is an awesome sport too 😉

The beach presents you literally with humans of all shapes and sizes. You can watch and make up stories in your mind to your hearts delight, then again, some real time stories get to happen right before your eyes.1447419147767[1]

We caught some odds and ends on camera (like the Air Force formation in the sky), we had a greasy lunch and came home happy.1447419287689[1]

Day offs are really what one chooses to make of it. For me it is a state of well-being/mind and finding my peace in the midst of each days ups and downs.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to NaBloPoMo, Friday, November 13

Describe your ideal day off. What would you do with your time?

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream

How much?…

Haggling is an art! To live in an African society with it’s rowdy markets, you need to perfect the art of haggling over goods.African proverb 5

Recollections of days spent traipsing after mother or grandma at the market, trudging from pillar to post haggling over goods in order to get the best bargains makes me smile.

It was never a straight journey!

Purchases were made in-between hundreds of greeting exchanges.

These grown women would hug, chatter, ask about the entire family and their well-being, exclaim over the incessant climb in the price of goods, natter about the latest African prints fabric, discuss their next meetings and what have you, while you stood patiently with the basket waiting for that conversation to be over, only for another encounter of another auntie to occur down the line where yam tubers were sold.

The haggling dance between the seller and the buyer was one done in camaraderie.

A piece of yam tuber would be lifted, passed from the buyers one hand to the other to check how weighty, inspected to ensure that it was still fresh and when mother was satisfied with the selected yam piece, the pricing war begins with “how much?”

This could go on from one market stall to the other and the basket on your head got heavier with the items purchased.

On a good day, your assistance would be rewarded with some boiled groundnuts, fried puff-puffs or something little to nibble at.

Please do remember not to grumble when the haggling is going on otherwise, you might be rewarded with a proverb that says “a child carried on the back, does not realize that the journey is very far.”

For today’s quote, I shall leave you with these African proverbs:

“Life is like shopping in the market, when you finish your purchases, you go home.”

”One does not throw stones in the market square, because you don’t know whose head it might break.”

”Marriage is like eating groundnuts in pods! You have to crack it to see what is inside.”

I have totally enjoyed reminiscing over these proverbs for the past couple of days Oba all thanks to you.

I invite these awesome bloggers to feel free and share some quotes:Africa-travel-quote

Gradmama

Haddon Musings

Adamma

Blessed love.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha