Guest Posts · Lifestyle · Parenting

Parenting in the Diaspora – A guest post from Joan.

jacquelineobyikocha

Today’s guest post is brought to us by Joan and indeed she raises pertinent thoughts for those of us who are raising children outside our home countries.

How do we maintain our heritage while living in the diaspora? How do we pass on our culture to these younger generations even as they also embrace those of the places where they are being raised?

Please feel free to contribute to the discussion with your constructive feedback.

If you are interested in guest posting, you can check out this link.

For many parents, raising children in the Diaspora especially the US is such a daunting task. The reasons are many; however, cultural difference is a leading factor.

The African culture is far different from that in the Western world. This presents a serious dilemma for parents. Those that can afford or have got a proper structure back home usually send their children back home so that they learn the African values and mingle with the people. However, what can the rest do in order to keep their children more of Africans?

One thing to consider is that children learn by observing, so what are you showing them? What are you saying to them? That matters a lot from the word go. You can’t be perfect as the cultures around will obviously rub off on you in one way or another, but they will not completely change you.

As you raise your children, this is the best time to relish the African in you, hence pass it on to your babies. Besides that, children are resilient, they will know when a mistake is made, and that is if you care to acknowledge your mistakes before them.

They will also know when you are living a hypocritical life. That is when they will go out there to look for what is real. There is no harm in acknowledging your mistakes, for, through them, we learn. It also teaches them a lot such as the beauty of humility.

Another thing to note is that children are affected by nature (biologically and spiritually acquired traits) and nurture (traits acquired from surroundings).

Therefore, it would be great to surround your children with people that will positively impact their lives. In addition to that, take them to African churches, and then make it a point to make friends of families that cherish the same values as you do. That will in a long way help with raising a child that will give you joy.

While at church, encourage your children to join the various church groups, more so those that help them have a deeper understanding of their heritage. Besides that, when your little ones are deeply absorbed in Christianity from the get-go, their roots are more firmly established than when they start doing it at an earlier stage.

You could also enforce a policy where only the local language is spoken within the house. This is not as easy as it sounds more so when the children enrol into school.

However, even if they just have a basic comprehension, it is better than nothing at all. If it is possible, you could also try and live in communities that resonate with your specific African background.

You may not be able to send your children back home for extended stays for one reason or another. However, you could organise a trip for them back home once in their youth life. This will help them have a deeper understanding and appreciation of their culture, society and country on a whole. They will also get a chance to meet their extended family and better their local language prowess.

In as much as it is not easy to raise your child in the Diaspora, not all hope is lost.

Happy Parenting!

P.S. You can connect with Joan, the guest author on her blog Family, parenting and beyond where she shares her stories, aspirations, tips on parenting, family life and much more.

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

I absolutely love this book of poems. My favorites are “Love Rations” (for those who love to give the silent treatment) and “Beggars Supper” (which definitely pulls at the heart strings). Two thumbs up!!

Out of the silent breath

Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

14 thoughts on “Parenting in the Diaspora – A guest post from Joan.”

  1. A wonderful post. As a language teacher I can say that there is so much value in celebrating the diverse backgrounds of students and encouraging them to know and respect their cultural roots. The richness that people who know both their own backgrounds and how to blend this with their current realities is a gift for everyone. Sadly many people seem to think that their cultural heritage is something to keep in the background. Best wishes and thanks for making me think! TJ 🙂

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  2. Wonderful post, and a challenge, to retain your unique cultural identification while blending into a new world. I think of the immigrants who came to America in the early 1900’s, passing through Ellis Island, having their names changed so they’d be easy to pronounce. Many settled in communities here where they could keep their traditions sacred, bonding with generations in the process.

    Economic issues forced their children out of town, away from that place. But they took the culture with them, honoring it as they moved forward. Some returned. But it never really left them at all.

    I’m wishing that for all of us. 💘

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  3. I have always wondered about how such children raised in the Diaspora get the African culture embedded in them, however Joan has given us pieces of advice which may not be so easy to follow but I’m sure will help African Parents in the diaspora.

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  4. I found that through story-telling my children found it easy to make a connection with Africa and wanted to know more. My children were insatiable for stories about Africa and my experiences growing up. It gave them a sense of pride because basically the lessons to be learnt from them were similar to those from stories and fables from other parts of the world. It brings an awareness that they have a heritage. Your post gives valid points of how we can achieve the best of this situation under discussion. Not all are easy to do, it requires dedication. Bringing children up in the Diaspora to carry on the African culture and values definitely requires an early start of teaching by example, honesty and humility. The thing is,if we don’t, life issues concerning these soon catch up with the family at one time or another. I agree too that holidays to see family and places to get a first hand knowledge is a must for them at least once but ideally more times. Church and social organisations must be monitored so they don’t undo your hard work. So many times you hear of children who are anti Church and anti African culture. We know that deep down what we taught them about Jesus Christ and our culture is still there, we must continue to love and nurture them. I wish I could have done more on their language skills but I thank God for the few words/sentences they know.

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..