Where Did My Easter Eggs Go?

April 4, 2018 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Easter came and sidled past like any other day – not like the Easters of my yesteryears. As much as I try to recreate and inculcate some of these joyous traditions for my children, I sometimes feel defeated by the lack of that communal warmth, excitement and feel of such seasons because we live in a place where most Christian celebrations aren’t much of a thing, and as a matter of fact, they mostly happen to be work days as well. I guess it’s one of the sacrifices that come with living in a cosmopolitan city where most times feel you invisible, overwhelmed and lost in the frantic lifestyle.

Sometimes, I question myself about the choices that we have made migrating and I silently wonder where the road will eventually lead. I guess as a parent most of us want to pass on the wonderful experiences of our childhood to our children and this is one of the times that I feel as if I suck as a parent ‘cos I just don’t think that I’m doing enough to create those beautiful memories that they can hold on to and possibly pass on to their progeny. I hope you had a lovely Easter break.

What My Mama Said To Me…16

March 21, 2018 jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment

Wisdom, Mother Knows Best, Proverbs, Mother and Child

Mama said to me, baby
never go borrowing
those things meant for others

be prepared
to live with the discomfort
that accompanies them.

Jacqueline

This piece is an excerpt from my work-in-progress.

You can read my book, Unbridled on Kindle Unlimited for free.

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Kindle

Family

Transform Your Kids Into Pagemasters

September 13, 2017 jacquelineobyikocha10 Comments

You might be thinking about trying to get your kids more interested in reading. There are plenty of kids who just aren’t interested in reading at an early age and have to be encouraged at a far later stage usually, in teenage years. Of course, we teach our kids the basics but once they have grasped this many only read when they are forced to, rather than in their spare time. That said there are many benefits of encouraging your kids to read in their spare time.

First, research shows that reading boosts a child’s vocabulary as well as their general level of intellect. Reading may also lead to improvements in memory and general cognitive performance. Through reading, some children may also be encouraged to write in their spare time, finding a passion for creative writing that could serve them well over the next few years. You might think that it’s too late to get your kids interested in reading, but it’s never too late. Some people find a love for reading well into adult life and become people who can’t go through a week without picking up a good book. But how do you get your kids interested in reading?

Passive Reading

Pic Credit

You might struggle to get your kids to pick up a book or download one, but how about listening to a book? There are some fantastic audio books out there that kids will love. For instance, you can pick up the Harry Potter books read by famous British comedian Stephen Fry. The man reads with such expression and adds his own unique magical wonder to this truly fantastic book series. You might think that passive reading isn’t as beneficial for children as picking up a book. It’s true that some of the words will wash over them, but others will stay in their mind. They might even hear a word that they don’t understand and look it up later.

Find A Book They Love

Credit Source

The problem that most people find when trying to get their kids to read is that they push the classics into their hand. The Call Of The Wild is a brilliant book, and some kids are going to find the novel from a dog’s perspective enthralling. Others, however, will be completely bored. They might be more interested in a novel series such as Alex Rider. This book series is based on the adventures of a teenage spy and is just one in a sea of similar books in the genre. However, the brilliance of this particular trilogy is that it’s written by a prestigious murder mystery writer who has worked on classic shows like Foyle’s War and Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple. As such, the books have such pulse pounding tension that kids find them hard to put down. The books also have a fairly loyal adult following.

Introduce Them To The Digital World Of Books

Source of Pic

If you really want to get your kids into reading, you might want to think about buying them a Kindle. This will allow them to read and download as many books as they want without buying each individual hard copy. This gives kids a lot of freedom to let them read what they want, how they want. You probably already have a Kindle yourself. If you do, you’ll know one of the major benefits is that there are a lot of free books available by great authors that are slightly less well known. If you’re wondering where to get free Kindle e-books, there are lots of different options, with some even recognized and recommended by popular published authors. This allows kids to go off the beaten path a little more and find writing that they have probably never heard of before. Don’t worry, kids won’t be able to read whatever they want on their Kindle. There are parental controls to ensure you are still in control of their reading.

Family Reading

Family, Reading Time, Bonding Flickr Picture

Finally, if you have younger children, you may want to try family reading times. Family reading works a lot like reading in school. The children get to pick the book to read, and you all take turns reading it out loud as a family. It’s a great way to share reading together, and kids often love hearing the expression that their parents put into it when it’s their turn to take a chapter.

I hope you use these tips to get your kids a little more involved in reading, outside the typical books that they will usually find in school. It can bring fantastic benefits.

Mundane Monday

Forgotten Blade… Mundane Monday

May 22, 2017 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Mundane Monday challenge is created to find beauty in almost everything.

The challenge is simple. Find beauty in everyday mundane things, capture the beauty and upload the photographs.

I wonder what happened to the other blade? The little owner obviously didn’t quite want them again or simply misplaced it. I guess her mother gave her ears some talking to?

Writers Quote Challenge

Emulation – Writers Quote Challenge

January 18, 2017January 18, 2017 jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

Image result for images of nanny goat and kid

‘When the nanny goat eats grass, her kid watches her mouth.’ African Proverb

I heard this proverb over and over as a child that I have no atom of an idea how many times that could possibly be, but even as a child, I knew my parents meant that I should emulate them by watching what they did. invitation-shel-silverstein

In essence, it’s not just what they said that I should look at but at the examples that they set.

Of course, believe me when I say that I fell flat millions of times in emulating their examples, not due to any fault of theirs but due to stubborn individuality and sometimes outright foolishness.

It took Higher Grace not to have killed myself with my own foolishness despite all the words of correction and examples set by my parents.

The interesting thing is that now as an adult and parent, I catch myself sounding just like my own parents to my children, repeating the same words of wisdom that they drummed into my ears and hopefully portraying some sensible and responsible behaviour for my ‘kids’ to emulate.

Then again, kids will be kids after all. However, with sustained repetition and the right examples, the lessons planted will be retained and eventually mature with them as they grow and hopefully, their ears will turn out to be more than fancy bits of their body.

Written for the Writers’ Quote Weekly challenge prompt from Joan “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
― James Baldwin

Rononvan's Weekly Haiku Challenge

Skip, Hop, Life is a Joy – Ronovan Writes Weekly Haiku

January 3, 2017January 3, 2017 jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

Her laughter, little skips, and spins

around the dancing tinkling water fountain,

a simple statement of Life’s joy.

Are you looking for something fresh to do? You could join Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Personal Memories – Streams of Consciousness Saturday

November 12, 2016 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Memories are powerful parts of who we are, where we are coming from and most times they inform how we venture further afield into life. Some memories fade with time, while some hold dark moments in our lives even when we try to suppress them.

Some memories burn vivid and bright in our minds and evoke a sublime state of happiness in our lives that we unwittingly wish to cling to such memories even when that time has long passed. These are the memories that I wish I could hold in the palm of my hands, but I store them in a better place – my heart.

A lot of times, I remember moments in time of my childhood when all I knew was the cocooning love of my parents and as an adult, I crawl back into my head into those moments that suffuse my entire being with softness and warmth.

Each day that passes by brings memories of my loved ones’ who have passed on to the other side to my mind. They are the one’s who shaped my life and molded my values as the human that I am today. My late dad and my beautiful, enigmatic grandmothers.

My dad is/was a man amongst men. A gentleman to the letter. A firm, fair-minded and peaceful fellow. He loved music. He was creative and diligent. He loved people. He worked hard. He was a good man, good father, and provider. He loved me.

Sometimes, memories of him bring bittersweet tears to my eyes’ that even after 3 years of his passing, I get a lump in my throat whenever my thoughts dwell on him. He was my anchor.

Memories of my grandmothers’ are filled with softness, with laughter, with tales of folklore, proverbs and life lessons. With pampering with one hand and a hard smack on the butt for misbehaving, with eating freshly prepared meals made on firewood and earthenware pots. They are filled with remembrance of massaging aching muscles with locally prepared shea butter and the heartfelt thank you that my gran would say. As I write this I can hear the echo of her voice in my head as she says ‘Nnedim, Ezigbo nwa.’

Now I have the great urge to eat from an earthenware pot, to sit on a three-legged stool in the small kitchen back in my village and to watch the pregnant nanny goat as she chewed a portion of yam peels with certainty.

Linda, thank you for taking me down memory lane with today’s prompt. As we remember the heroes in our lives, the heroes past, it comes to my mind to point out that heroes are not only those who fought armed battles but all those who make sacrifices every day to ensure that our future is better. Go and be someone’s hero today.

Quick glossary:

Nnedim – In Igbo language means ‘my husbands’ mother.’ My gran believed in reincarnation and that I’m her mother-in-law who she spoke of with such fondness and love.

Ezigbo Nwa – means ‘good child.’

Writer's Quote Wednesday

Chastity breached – Writers Quote Wednesday Writing Challenge.

August 11, 2016August 11, 2016 jacquelineobyikocha24 Comments

Harsh reality destroys innocence. Jacqueline

Chastity breached;

innocence is stolen;

when no eyes were looking.

Bewildered child-hood;

bore pain of betrayal;

with the mask of innocence.

Beneath multi-layers;

lies an embittered spirit;

deprived of girlhood innocence.

It’s never a comfortable topic to write about the abuse of the girl-child and even grown women and an issue most would like to wish away and hide under the veil of humour. Yet, the statistics and spate of abuse and violation of females are horrendous.

A lot of times, violation comes from close quarters. These incidents leave a not so strong female broken, disillusioned, embittered and bearing the burden of guilt and shame. Her silence costs her everything and it takes a lot of grace for a victim to overcome the burden of violation.

Society has not helped by casting silent and even vocal blame on victims, thereby making their burden a lot heavier and their silence more ominous.

Innocence – #WQWWC

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Rononvan's Weekly Haiku Challenge

Magical Time – Ronovan writers weekly haiku challenge.

July 12, 2016November 8, 2016 jacquelineobyikocha10 Comments

Once I saw the prompt for Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge ‘time and grow,’ my thought went to my children who are galloping up so fast before my eye’s that sometimes it gives me mixed feelings to watch them become more independent each day, knowing that soon they will be full-fledged adults and fly my coop.

Ah! I love these blessings of mine with every breath that I have.

Indeed time does create magic,

each day I watch you grow up,

my heart fills with gratitude.

∼

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Wonderful, evocative poetry by a talented writer. Left me hungry for more. Jacqueline can write! Linda Bethea

If you enjoy my works and would like to do so, you can fuel my creativity with a slice of cake or coffee

Guest Posts · Lifestyle · Parenting

Parenting in the Diaspora – A guest post from Joan.

June 26, 2016August 8, 2016 jacquelineobyikocha14 Comments

Today’s guest post is brought to us by Joan and indeed she raises pertinent thoughts for those of us who are raising children outside our home countries.

How do we maintain our heritage while living in the diaspora? How do we pass on our culture to these younger generations even as they also embrace those of the places where they are being raised?

Please feel free to contribute to the discussion with your constructive feedback.

If you are interested in guest posting, you can check out this link.

For many parents, raising children in the Diaspora especially the US is such a daunting task. The reasons are many; however, cultural difference is a leading factor.

The African culture is far different from that in the Western world. This presents a serious dilemma for parents. Those that can afford or have got a proper structure back home usually send their children back home so that they learn the African values and mingle with the people. However, what can the rest do in order to keep their children more of Africans?

One thing to consider is that children learn by observing, so what are you showing them? What are you saying to them? That matters a lot from the word go. You can’t be perfect as the cultures around will obviously rub off on you in one way or another, but they will not completely change you.

As you raise your children, this is the best time to relish the African in you, hence pass it on to your babies. Besides that, children are resilient, they will know when a mistake is made, and that is if you care to acknowledge your mistakes before them.

They will also know when you are living a hypocritical life. That is when they will go out there to look for what is real. There is no harm in acknowledging your mistakes, for, through them, we learn. It also teaches them a lot such as the beauty of humility.

Another thing to note is that children are affected by nature (biologically and spiritually acquired traits) and nurture (traits acquired from surroundings).

Therefore, it would be great to surround your children with people that will positively impact their lives. In addition to that, take them to African churches, and then make it a point to make friends of families that cherish the same values as you do. That will in a long way help with raising a child that will give you joy.

While at church, encourage your children to join the various church groups, more so those that help them have a deeper understanding of their heritage. Besides that, when your little ones are deeply absorbed in Christianity from the get-go, their roots are more firmly established than when they start doing it at an earlier stage.

You could also enforce a policy where only the local language is spoken within the house. This is not as easy as it sounds more so when the children enrol into school.

However, even if they just have a basic comprehension, it is better than nothing at all. If it is possible, you could also try and live in communities that resonate with your specific African background.

You may not be able to send your children back home for extended stays for one reason or another. However, you could organise a trip for them back home once in their youth life. This will help them have a deeper understanding and appreciation of their culture, society and country on a whole. They will also get a chance to meet their extended family and better their local language prowess.

In as much as it is not easy to raise your child in the Diaspora, not all hope is lost.

Happy Parenting!

P.S. You can connect with Joan, the guest author on her blog Family, parenting and beyond where she shares her stories, aspirations, tips on parenting, family life and much more.

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

I absolutely love this book of poems. My favorites are “Love Rations” (for those who love to give the silent treatment) and “Beggars Supper” (which definitely pulls at the heart strings). Two thumbs up!!