Tag Archive | Raising Children

Posts That Caught My Interest #6

I was reading Danny’s post this morning: I call this surviving by sheer grits. It couldn’t have been easy, to say the least. An amazing journey of survival. Please read.Image result for images of sharing

When the enemy stands by the sidelines waiting for you to fail, you make sure you don’t give him/her the pleasure, hang on by the tentacles and succeed.

A Letter To Someone

Though the letter is fictional I quite enjoyed reading this letter written by Damyanti ‘I’ll be your father’ and here’s my comment below:

What a letter! Blunt yet loving, empowering and liberating. I enjoyed reading this.

Today’s Inspiration

An awesome quote and here’s my comment:

Some would love to hold people’s mistakes over their heads like a sword of Damocles for the rest of their lives.

What’s In A Name?

Grab this quickly. Sally Cronin’s book ‘What’s in a name,’ is available for free; offer ends Sunday 13th. I got me a copy and will be doing a review soon 😉

What do we teach our children?

One of my nightmares in life is the thought of failing to raise my children well. It bothers me. I know that there are no perfect parents and that children will still express their individualities, but it’s alarming when you observe how some parents are not even concerned with the fact that they pass on some nasty attitudes on to their children.

Comments closed to encourage you to visit the featured links.

Regards,

Jacqueline

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Moments Like This…. Personal

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I must be doing something right somewhere, though many times I question my own authority as a mother and call myself out for messing up now and again, but when you get a letter from your child’s school authority inviting you to an investiture ceremony because he has been chosen to be the school’s Head Boy, your heart can only swell in pleasure and gratitude.

Believe me, when I say that in a community where the percentage of black children is negligible, nothing prepared my mind to think that my child would be selected. It’s a new precedent for the school to have a black child as their head boy and moments like this make me thankful and a proud mother.

I don’t have all the material wealth to give to these young blessings who adorn my life, all that I have to give is my love, teaching them basic human values and hoping to do my best in raising children who will be worthy ambassadors of the humanity that they belong in.

Moments like this make me thankful for these things that bring warmth, hope, and rays of sunshine into my life.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

If you wish to participate in a gratitude challenge, there are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfilment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog,Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.

Homemade Juices and Smoothies – A Click A Day.

 

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One of the decisions I made earlier this year is to reduce as much as possible, my families consumption of fizzy pops, KoolAids, Caprisun, Tang and all such drinks and to replace them with fresh, healthier options.

Initially, it was not an easy sell to the children and Dear Himself.  I heard a lot of moans and groans to start with, but it caught on right  after the first trial run. Now, we bulk purchase a variety of fruits, juice them, mix them, make smoothies out of different blends and bottle to freeze.

The children participate in doing this, from washing the fruits, to peeling, to juicing with the electric juicer….

The process is fun since they get to eat the sweet pulp from the fruits and to label their hard work. Each school morning, a bottle of frozen homemade juice is tossed into their lunch box (it retains its freshness from freezing and would have melted by break time) and they bring back the bottles, rinse it out with warm water and reuse.

The interesting thing is that when we eat out these days, the kids compare the drinks they get outside to the one that we make at home and their verdict is that our’s is better 😉

How do you get your children to assist in the house? I love to learn from others.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


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When The Cock Crows At Dawn…

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Phew! We are halfway there before the first weekend since school resumed. Thanks to the alarm clock we have been able to crawl reluctantly out of bed again, even before the rooster crows – not that I have heard or seen any rooster in this concrete jungle that I live in; except on a plate – but this hardwired brain of this African child still remembers the cocks crow at dawn back in my fathers’ house.

I recall those days when we would wake up early, sweep the house with the broom made from palm fronds and bent to the waist, after which you dusted the furniture and ran several errands for my mother as she prepared the meal before you could get ready to go to school.

Things haven’t changed so much except the broom sweeping part – thank God for vacuum cleaners – I still wake up early to do the necessaries before we set off for the days business of school, work, after school etc.

It’s ironical that when I was back in my parents home, I thought that when I got married and had my kids, I would become what we refer to back home as ‘Thick Madam,’ who would roll around in bed and rise like an indolent Cleopatra with a retinue of handmaiden’s waiting to rub cocoa butter on my feet 😉

Well, the opposite of Thick Madam is the case. I hop out of bed, reluctantly resisting tossing the alarm clock out of the window whilst I hustle the children to get ready like a Sergeant Major as I run a mental list in my head of all that needs to be attended to for the day.

Today as I watched my trio file out after the runaround of getting ready, I acknowledge once again the beauty of having these blessed children. My house might be a bit messy most of the time but I wouldn’t have it differently. I appreciate the daily shebangs as these young souls grow, for I know that one day in the near future they will fly my coop, no longer littering the counter with breadcrumbs, dumping their stuff where it shouldn’t be and warming the house with their noise.

Who knows maybe in the near future, my house would look like the pages of an interior decor catalogue and I just might get to become a ‘Thick Madam,’ after all, but for now, it’s all wonderful and I am thankful to be like a Sergeant Major rising when the cock crows at dawn.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

There are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfilment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.

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Sweet Dates…Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Oh! My dates! I smiled when I saw the prompt ‘dates,’ that Linda gave us for SOCs. How apt! It’s as if she knew that I had some homemade date juice last night – I’ll share the recipe in another post tomorrow – and now I hasten to finish my blog posts, respond to comments, read some blog posts and get ready for my date night with my one and only Dear Himself, my main Boo-Gatti 😉socsbadge2016-17

I need to kick up my dancing heels a wee bit and having young children means that date nights for just the two of us are not as often as they should be. However, to keep stoking the embers of our 16year old romance, we get to squeeze a candlelit, stare into your eyes mushy stuff now and again.

On the other hand, I also try to construct cheap and cheerful stay-at-home dates as well.

Enjoy the weekend folks and a sweet date; be it the fruity type or one with yourself, a book and a delicious cup of beverage 🙂

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


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Not a piece of cake…Streams of consciousness Saturday.

We all came from a parent and some people have foster, adoptive, and step -parents.SoCS badge 2015

All the interactions that I have had with other parents lay emphasis on the fact that parenting is not a game or sport that comes with a one-size fit all manual.

Before I became a parent, I had absolutely no concrete idea what it would involve. Beyond imagining my cute babies in diapers, with ribbons in her hair or boys in baby blues, reading lots of motherhood literature, it’s been a case of trying, to the best of my ability and not losing my marbles while at it 🙂

As a matter of fact, it’s the hardest responsibility with far-reaching results that I have ever had to take on and you very well can’t resign from it. You are on duty 24/7 for the rest of your life even when they are old and have flown the coop and now it makes me appreciate my parents so much more.

I remember almost driving myself bonkers reading all  The Dr. James Dobson Parenting Collection books that I could find until I realized that yes indeed, the books are very good guides and insights, but the books didn’t know me, my background, nor my child. So, a whole lot also had to be uniquely experienced.

A parents duty as a custodian of these young ones involves imparting the right values, a sense of well-being a wholesome identity, attitude and an endless list of scenarios to work with.

Leaving a legacy for generations after is no piece of cake. The wrong path can cause a whole lot of damage to a child and alienate them. We learn to balance love and discipline, to apply authority and gain their confidence without being oppressive.

In my opinion, the act of procreation is not sufficient to make one a parent. As a matter of fact, in some instances, procreation simply makes the person a biological vessel that brought the child to being because I’ve seen instances where I question how some humans treat the child/children who have been bestowed on to them.

My greatest fear as a mother is failing in my duty to raise upstanding, responsible children who will be a positive testimony to their generation.

Apparently, without over-stressing it, raising children requires lots of grace and wise counsel from above.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Apparently a parent, SoCS


Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Dance to your heart’s delight my African child, until echoes of your stamping feet, beating heart; bright eyes, smiling lips; and waving hands, resonates over and over like thunder claps, reverberating throughout the Universe.

Just dance.