Tag Archive | Life’s Experiences

Old Age? Don’t Take It Lying Down!

Senior-Woman-Monochrome-Bicycle-Sitting-Aged-Bank-Relaxing

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Once you get past a certain age, it’s very likely that you think you’re going on the scrapheap of life. You may feel yourself waning, your energy levels dipping, and you may think that it’s time to calm down and give in. In short, don’t! Instead, why don’t you try a few simple techniques to help you address the key things that may be missing in your life, so you can enjoy it more, and quite possibly feel a bit younger?

Keep The Oil Fresh

in other words get checkups on every single faculty. Go to a doctor, go to an ophthalmologist, spend time getting those regular checkups, and make sure that you are fighting fit. Also, you need to keep yourself healthy by moving! Your body is a machine, don’t forget this. It was built to be active, so use it as best as you can. On the topic of health, your body is like a car, and you wouldn’t put the wrong fuel in your car, so why should you put the wrong fuel in your body? Start to eat well, think about getting more omega-3 in your diet, more fish, and a general smorgasbord of fruit and vegetables.

Dress With Some Flair!

Look at the French fashion icons in their 70s, take some inspiration from these. Then dress with some style and finesse yourself, they don’t go to recapture their youth by dressing young, so take their lead and go for some style. Look at French and Italians; they seem to get better as they get older. Do some research, and get inspired!

Start To Feel Good!

No doubt you may have been doing things that please everybody in your early years because you had to get on with it. It’s now your time, so do what makes you happy. Yes, we look after others, and it’s not to say that it’s time for you to be selfish, but start to prioritize more time to get to know yourself. Enjoy that quiet time with a glass of wine, sit outside with a crossword and a coffee. It’s these little pleasures in life that you will remember more than anything. And who’s to say that you need to not go out on dates with your partner? There are so many great ways to stimulate the mind and body.

Socialize!

The main concern about the descent into old age is that you could possibly feel isolated or a bit hemmed in at home. And regardless of your age, there is always someone who is going through the same thing as you, nobody is ever alone in these things, no matter if you feel you are on your own. Start to make more time for your friends, go out for meals, and enjoy a healthy and stimulating conversation. Negativity is something that can begin to creep in, and much like a midlife crisis, we can feel that we don’t have a use anymore in life. So, start to enjoy your time, do something that makes you stimulated. Read a book, learn a language, learn an instrument. Just because you are older in years doesn’t mean that you are past your sell-by date! So enjoy yourself.

Age is viewed as a negative thing, so let’s try and reverse this trend. Age is not a negative thing; it is about experience and vitality!

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Just Thinking – Book Review

The words on the cover aroused my interest. I wanted to know what the little writings were and what thoughts I would have.

A
little book,
for when
you have
a little time,
with some
little writings,
which may
produce
some little
thoughts.

Colin Chappell’s collection of verses ‘Just Thinking’ published in July 2017 is a volume of quiet and pleasantly smooth lines covering a cross-section of life’s experiences that takes you through a gamut of feelings. I love feelings.

I enjoyed retiring in the evening to read and mull over his words for several days when I was done with the daily run-around chasing after life’s this and that.

He painted emotions and thoughts in a way that I could visualize the scenarios captured in the verses. Sharing his experiences with his best friend Ray, a German Shepherd made me think a lot about my Alsatian ‘Sheila’ and how her life was laid short with Cancer. They are thoughts pet owners can relate with.

Snippets of a well-deserved tribute to his loyal friend.

You wanted to be friends.
I was rather surprised.
A nose touch… yours to mine
Was all it took to melt my heart.
A nose touch… and a moment of time.

Perhaps our souls indeed did touch.
The inner me perhaps was found.
Perhaps it was just your big brown eyes
Saying so much… yet with no sound.
But that’s history… to you and I.

Going further, his evocative lines continually keeps the mind moving toward richer connections. Many pieces will leave you teary-eyed and melancholic and some will leave you with a sense of lightness and peace.

But I’ll see you quite soon,
If tomorrow ever comes.
My mind is racing through time.
But the clock is so still,
And there’s an eternity to kill,
But then… once again…
Will you be mine?

I appreciate the simple feel of this book, yet it’s rich in thoughts and texture. Being in free verses, it didn’t have that contrived feel of traditional rhymes and stanzas.

Just Thinking, Collin Chappell, Poetry Book, Author Zone

Available on Amazon

Naked but not Ashamed…

My silhouette

If I took the experiences

that life handed me deeply to heart

I would have committed suicide.

I am glad that I didn’t

because that’s a cowardly way out.

I see these experiences

as the hand of fate steering me in a direction.

—∞—∞—

I realise that life is hard and not fair

that life can be a bitch (forgive my French)

but the Spirit of Hope and Fight in me

tells me that new every morning

is a gift from the Lord and

I must unwrap this gift of the day

with utmost gratitude, grace, and belief.

©

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Staring Nightmare in the Face…personal story

This is one of my stories that I have found a bit difficult to write, but sometimes, just sometimes, we have to write to encourage, we write to strengthen, we write to heal and we write for ourselves, reliving our stories and letting it out.Eternal memory

Fear is one intangible menace that lurks in dark corners on one’s path of life. It may be invisible to the eye but felt sharply in the heart.

It can destabilize us, cause emotional distress and worry. It will assume as many disguises as possible and taunt as wickedly as possible.

I am not quite sure when the spirit of fear cloaked my being as a child, but when I reflect on it, I think it might have been consciously triggered when I witnessed the simultaneous loss of my beautiful siblings.

It was an experience in my young mind, which left my mum very distraught and I remember vividly her attempt to jump out of our moving vehicle when we were going for the burial.

I was seated in the back of the car clutching her and as small as I was, around 7 years, I remember pleading with her not to go. She was devastated.

I developed that fear of losing my loved ones, that I would find myself staying awake at nights in my bed and listening until my dad came home, then I would fall asleep.

My parents were pretty close and I not only feared losing my dad, but I worried about the effect of his loss on our family in general and my mother in particular.

I had to stare that fear in the eye just over two years ago.

Following various symptoms and a battery of painful tests, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and the battle for his life commenced.

It was an emotionally stretching journey for the entire family, but what amazed me was that, not for one day, not even once did my dad grumble despite all the pains that he was having.

I would call morning and night to talk to him, fly down to see him and sit with him and he never muttered one word of complaint.

Stoically, he ate all the vegetable concoctions my mother came up with through research, took his drugs and went through all the paces in good spirit – I am doubtful that my mouth would not have spewed all the grumbling under the sun.

Few weeks before he passed on, I started having anxiety attacks and frequent diarrhea without any specific reason. Medically nothing was detected but this continued for a bit. As always, I spoke to both of them everyday, praying with and encouraging them and my dad sounded pretty strong.

On Friday, May 4th evening, 2013, I decided to travel down with the red eye flight to see them for the weekend, luckily I was in Lagos at that time, and I spoke to my dad telling him that I would see him the following morning. We had a good chat.

At 4:00a.m. my phone rang and once I saw the number on the screen my heart froze. I was afraid to pick my phone. All sorts of thoughts raced through my head as I held the ringing phone. It was my mother and I knew.

I knew that something dreadful had happened. I knew that she wouldn’t call at that time for nothing when she knew that I was coming in within the next few hours.

I picked up the phone and my mum’s piercing cries cut into my heart.

The rushing noisy sensation in my head and lightheaded feeling was immense. My bowel movement simply got violent and I started hyperventilating. Fortunately my husband was with me and he held me, he was simply my rock.

How I got on that flight is a hazy memory. My husband helped me to get ready, put me on the flight, made arrangements for my pick up at the airport because I was falling to pieces and almost insensate.

I joined my mum and the picture of my dad stretched out as if he was in deep sleep remains in my eyes.

I called him. I praised him. I sang to him, but he never answered.

The tempest broke. I wailed. I asked him why? Couldn’t he have waited just a little longer? Not a word. Hah! Death you have stung me badly!

In the face of my mum’s instability I had to be strong. I had to be strong for her even as I tore up inside. She had just lost her husband of 40 years plus and I knew that our lives was about to change.

One of my brothers had hurried over to join us as well. We made arrangements and took my dad to the mortuary. Arranged for his handling, started his burial arrangements and coincidentally, my worrying diarrhea stopped suddenly the way that it had started.

It was not an easy journey. Burial arrangements in my place and I daresay in Africa, is a major feat and since he was a traditional title holder, it was more expensive but my dad deserved the befitting burial that he received.

Can I claim that having faced that, that I no longer have fears? That would be telling a blatant lie.

Did the experience make me stronger? A bit. I had no choice but to be strong and luckily as a family we supported each other.

I learnt that things could turn in a blink of an eye and never to take life or my loved ones for granted.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Friday, November 6

What was your biggest fear as a child? Do you still have it today? If it went away, when did your feelings changes?

My Roller-Coaster….personal story

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Life is a constant flux of change and naturally as all humans are prone to, mine has evolved in little and huge ways.

My cycles have gone through mountain peaks and deep valleys, through Tropics and Savannah and each evolution has contributed to my story; to my growth in personality and maturity of mind; to the pathway of better understanding of myself as a complete entity.

Some changes have been premeditated while some, were thrust on me by Providence, but the most important aspect of these changes has been the strengthening of my inner mental core, resilience and spiritual walk.

For close to two decades, I have gone from a care-free single, all career guns blazing young lady to become a wife and proud mother. From formal employment, to part-time/voluntary service and self-employment/entrepreneurship.

In this space of time, I have migrated within 3 different Continents and when you are talking about leaving; I just left Texas to United Arab Emirates a couple of moons ago!

It has been a major shift especially in culture mentality. I am still in the bid of catching my breath even though I know that my sojourn in this place will not tarry for too long.

The challenges that such changes predisposes you to, which goes beyond leaving your comfort zone and familiar grounds to places of new beginnings are numerous, that the experience alone can constitute a book.

However, the trick in handling these things, is to keep a very broad and positive mind. Make a concerted effort to have a positively motivated outlook and become a sponge that soaks in all the good vibes around you.

That way, you will acquire the best experience that your life is teaching you at that point in time.

I am presently focusing on self-development and as I continue to transform, my hope is to cascade my support outwards to others and also to persevere in my efforts as a writer.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to The Daily Post prompt If You Leave

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?