Tag: family

Everyday People

Prepping the feet – Every day beautiful people.

jacquelineobyikocha15 Comments

Toe nail cutting

Watching the old man go about the seemingly mundane business of trimming his toe nails takes me back to my younger years when my grandparents were still alive.

I would trim my grandma’s nails and massage her feet with a special ointment made out of shea butter and I recall how she would praise and call me pet names that only she had the privilege to 😊

Now, I feel nostalgic.

Jacqueline

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Gratitude

But I want some more…

jacquelineobyikocha26 Comments

As I spent some early morning moments attempting to reach in deep into the reflection of my inner spirit to draw strength from there, I oscillated between moments of thankfulness and the selfish wants of human nature to ask and want for more.hands[1]

I totally appreciate this Summer time spent with family doing things together without the harried mix of school runs and homework in the mix. I was even persuaded to rejoin Karate Dojo classes despite my debacle several years back and yes, yours truly is inching up to a yellow belt in no time (though I suspect that the Sensei (Trainer) is treating me nice 😉

The beautiful times spent discovering new things and many raucous moments of sibling squabbles and motherly scolds are all cherished, and surprisingly, my grey hairs didn’t multiply in anguish. We are a palette of individualities meshed together to form one loving and sometimes maddening unit and I can’t have it any other way. If truth be told, I hate to see the Summer season fly past in such a hurry – the good side is that the heat will come down a notch as well – all things being equal.

Underlying my state of thankfulness is certain discontent that I can’t disregard but it doesn’t diminish my gratitude for the blessings of these past days. I guess the Oliver Twistish part of me simply wants more of such goodness so I’ll strive to keep enjoying and living fully in the moments that I’m given.

I hope your heart is grateful for something today.

Shalom

P.S: There are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfilment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Featured Blogs

Featured Posts 114 – Share your posts.

jacquelineobyikocha

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Stock Photo: I can’t count how many times I’ve had this tussle in my mind, most especially when those cows look at me with such pitiful eye’s and sometimes I spy disdain in their looks 😉

You composed me: there are articles you read and you are simply left feeling satisfied.

The post office box: this short, flash fiction is so tightly woven. The spare words say so much and leave me hungry to know more.

Times change. A little post to make you smile.

In need of a friend: what a heartwarming testimony and tribute. Sometimes, when we least expect it and even when we resist it, love creeps up on us and clings with all it has to give. I enjoyed reading this 🙂

Disue: Step in and say hello. A new blogger friend of mine with lots of interesting posts to enjoy.

Do step in and show some love.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together. 

 

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I hear the reverberations of the magic that’s hidden within.

Support Me.

Guest Posts

Getting to know the beautiful, delightful, smart and prolific writer; Amanda Eifert.

jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

It’s an honour for Mandi to accept to do such a personal interview with me. Ever since I started blogging Mandi has been a staunch and heartwarming friendly support. Mandi, I wish you all the best in your endeavours and appreciate your hand of fellowship.

  • Introduce yourself, a bit about your background, your likes, dislikes and general outlook towards life.

Hi, my name is Amanda or Mandi as some of you know me. I am from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and have lived here all my life. I live by two gorgeous parks and off-leash trails for dogs. I enjoy walking the off leash trails. I miss my old dog and enjoy the other dogs on the trail. I also love how peaceful it is on those paths.image1.JPG

I have been on disability for over eight years now. I used to be an admin assistant in construction for a commercial development company. I became ill, not realizing what was happening to me because I had never experienced mental illness before December 2008. I left work my last day emotionally distraught, embarrassed, and not realizing I was hearing echoes after certain people talked. I would hear what someone usually said, then hear an echo of their voice which would comment and say something mean.
On December 24, 2008, I waited in the emergency with my Dad. We discovered I was experiencing a psychotic episode. I went into the hospital in January. Once I started a certain antipsychotic, I stopped hearing things. For some reason my now doctor told me when you hear things, it’s always the worst things you can think of. After, the psychosis I had a mini depression.
I have never had another psychotic episode since 2008 but now experience depression and severe fatigue. Severe fatigue meaning, I cannot mentally or physically do things for a long enough period to work or do many activities in life.
After trying countless medications and developing insomnia along with my depression, I went into the hospital to overhaul my cocktail of medications in July 2015. I’m finally, on a helpful and tolerable med called Clozapine.
It acts as an antidepressant, antipsychotic, and causes me to sleep through the night. Before Clozapine, not being able to sleep and becoming so used to sleep medications that they stopped working was miserable. Now, I have more freedom in everyday life as well and can do some exercise and concentrate better.
I’m a determined writer and I’ve been working on improving my writing for years. I have a BA in English Literature, a certificate in Residential Design, and am pursuing an online MFA at UBC for May 2017. I love being creative and imaginative in my writing; I enjoy drawing and acrylic painting at times; and I adore dogs, hanging with my friends, Netflix, scrapbooking, and yoga. I’m told I’m intuitive and thoughtful.
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I don’t like it when people push me into a corner and force me to decide something, I need time to weigh matters for significant decisions. Because of my illness, I need a bit more control over my life than some people realize. I have to plan down-time to relax and can’t do activities out of the house every day. I hate it when people are discriminative of people with mental illness or disabilities of any kind. I regret that because of my disabilities, I missed a lot of time with my best friends and are not as close to them as I would like. But maybe that’s life and it happens as a person grows older.
I’m extremely close to my family and I’m drawn to people who are close to their family too, including pets. I’m a proud Christian and would not have made it through what I have, if not for God’s grace and the love of my family and friends.
  • Tell us about your blog and your purpose for starting it. Did you have any set goals in mind when you were setting up your blog? What do you think about the blogging phenomenon itself? What has your blogging experience being? Here, you can share some links of your top posts or blog posts that you particularly like with us.
I mentioned earlier, I have been working on my writing for years now. After my mini depressive episode, I couldn’t read books such as Harry Potter and it was hard for me to even write. Daily, I increased my ability reading, starting with easier books such as the Twilight books and other Young Adult books, eventually, moving into more difficult reads such as the books I read in university English classes.
My goal with writing was to bring my writing to the point it was at in university, but I hope I’ve surpassed that goal. I had read some of my friends blogs and had a friend who blogged on WordPress. I signed up and started blogging.
In the beginning, my blog was a place to share about my mental illness and my daily life, the disappointment I felt at not being able to live and be like a normal girl of my age back then, and the classes I was taking. I also started writing for a young woman’s magazine and I enjoyed writing about these current events twenty-somethings would be interested in.
I also started taking some editing course through Simon Fraser University online. Quickly, I discovered I would never be perfectionist enough to be an editor, but I loved to write so I focused on creatively explore writing. It has always been my passion and I’ve been writing poems since I was eleven or so as stress relief and because it always felt right to me.
The editing courses were useful and I did learn when editing others work, to leave it as their own work and not completely change it as my editor for the young women’s magazine had done to my articles often. But I did need to work on my spelling and grammar and my blog and the editing courses aided me there.
At the same time, I was working on a Residential Design certificate. It was good knowledge to know had I been able to return to work, but it wasn’t my passion. I signed up for a few creative writing courses, and participated in many versions of the WordPress online courses. I started writing posts for my blog everyday. Gradually, I fell head over heals in love with writing fiction and especially, poetry.
I have made it my goal to visit www.shadowpoetry.com and learn to write using as many poetry types as I can master. Poetry always comes out the easiest for me, usually in free verse. Fiction requires more thought. Through Flashfiction challenges, through writing my own novel, and learning the whole process behind developing a novel, my writing has improved substantially, since I began blogging nearly five-years ago.
As a writer, I realize a blog is a necessary part of sharing your work with the public, by commenting, participating in prompt challenges with other bloggers, and sharing your work over social media. I never realized even a few years ago, how all these social media accounts add to a writer’s audience.
Twitter is a big one. I have many followers on there and quite a few new ones every day. I write some poetry only on Twitter and have found places to publish my poetry through Twitter. Mainly, www.spillwords.com. I also love the WordPress community. It’s so supportive and I love brightening someone’s day by telling them how wonderful their writing piece is or what it makes me think about. Critiquing is so helpful as long as it is done in a helpful and kind manner and I try to do this when I comment. I would rather in my own work, have someone be honest with me if it doesn’t sound right (etc.) than tell me it’s fantastic and lie. But not everybody likes such honesty.
  • Take us with you on a typical day spent with you. Show us a bit of your World and yes we love photos of  your pets if you’ve got any.
Honestly, my average day is not interesting. I set out with a list of tasks to accomplish and try my best. Sometimes, it’s a bad day, and I end up staying mostly in bed and sleeping. Other days, I do chores I need to around the house, make healthy meals, do twenty to thirty minutes yoga or walking, clean, comment on other blogs and read blog posts, catch up on writing for different prompts, read books or magazines, or work on editing my novel in second draft. I research a lot online, try to stay up on current events, and watch Netflix or TV at times.
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A day out, I plan ahead. I go to a festival in Edmonton in the summer; go to the mall for necessities and sometimes clothes shopping; I go for coffee and meet a friend or sometimes on my own for a change of environment; I go for a longer walk in the river valley; go to a farmer’s market on a Saturday; get my hair or nails done; attend an appointment or go to a movie; and whatever else I want to do or need to do. I can only go out every couple of days usually, but sometimes I manage two-days out at a time. I’m limited to about four-hours out at a time, unless I’m simply sitting, such as for a movie. After a while, an extremely noisy or loud place is difficult to remain in on certain days.
On weekends, I often do something with my Mom in the day. I’m pretty constantly texting friends or messaging them and connected to the online world throughout my week, but sometimes even I need a break.
  • What’s the next pit-stop for your blog’s outreach and publishing?  Any plans in the offing? You can also share some of your published works here.
Well, like you, I’ve started doing interviews of other poets and Bloggers. It’s fascinating to learn about other writers, their writing processes, how they publish their work, and to find their unique take on life and writing in general. It’s been a success for me on my blog. I was extremely pleased to have you as my first interview. Now, I’ve got a whole list of interviewees until October at least. The interviews are informative for readers such as blog followers, as well as myself.
I’ve had poetry published in www.spillwords.com and www.sicklitmagazine.com since June 2016. I continue to send out my poetry to literary magazines and journals, as well as websites which publish poetry and fiction. My goal is to have a short story in fiction published.
Fiction is harder for me as I said, but I love it. Rejection makes me all the hungrier to have it published. Even when I receive rejection emails, I’m happy a publisher/magazine took the time to reject me and often tell me what I need to work on.
I want to eventually publish my novel which is a paranormal romance. I’m working on rearranging and polishing the second draft of my manuscript. Then, I need to look at editors because as it is my first novel, I need an editor to read through the whole piece and tell me what works and what doesn’t. I think I’m going to try querying for an agent after, but I will see. There are advantages to self-publishing, but given my health, it may be better for me to have a publisher take care of editing the manuscript, doing the cover, the marketing etc.
Thanks for interviewing me, Jacqueline. I appreciate your generosity.
Here are some current links to some of my work and some photographs:
5. Interview With Marquessa Matthews – Nonfiction –https://mandibelle16.wordpress.com/2016/07/18/interview-with-marquessa-matthews/
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This is Nikki. My long-passed on pet, but as I said I miss her 🙂
Featured Blogs

Featured Posts – Share your posts.

jacquelineobyikocha

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Narrow:  We can find beauty behind the prickly as well.

How much is too much? All those beautiful moments that passes in the blink of an eye. How do you hold on to them?

Domestic Diva: have you been to domestic diva’s abode yet? Why not peek in and say hello 🙂

Make the choice: What’s your choice going to be?

Peaceful Journey: Join Yvonne on an endless, peaceful journey to self-realization.

Do step in and show some love.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together. 

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I hear the reverberations of the magic that’s hidden within.

Support Me.

Gratitude

We Never Know…

jacquelineobyikocha38 Comments

On Wednesday an Emirates plane crash-landed at DXB tarmac and burst into flames. Thankfully, all 300 passengers made it out alive but it was all so surreal to me.

It felt surreal because less than half-an-hour before the incident occurred, I had just picked up my husband from a long haul 19hrs flight from the US where he went for an Award ceremony – he’s also an award recipient. As we watched the plane blaze on television, I couldn’t even imagine the horror the passengers must have felt when they knew that their plane was going to crash-land.

It dawned on me that though a minute might seem so small, a minute can change everything. Things that we take for granted like a loved one saying, “see you soon,” just the way my husband did before he boarded his flight in NewYork, might very well be the last words exchanged forever.

It drew it close home to my mind that not only should we live fully in the moments that we are given – not just existing, but love living and never fail to let those who are dear to us know how we feel about them. I am not trying to sound like a prophetess of doom but to face the reality of the life that we live.

I am grateful that the crashed plane’s situation was contained and well managed. I am grateful for my husband’s safe return even as I watch him reschedule his travel plans to Lisbon since all flights from Dubai have been suspended in the interim. I hold onto hope that as Grace kept him and brought him home safely, journey mercies will also proceed to Portugal with him.

Let us never forget that a thankful and grateful state of mind is to have a great attitude and a whispered prayer that keeps our earnest hope bright in our hearts.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S: There are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfillment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.

InLinkz

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I hear the reverberations of the magic that’s hidden within.

Support Me.

Short Stories

The Harvest…

jacquelineobyikocha22 Comments

Jeremiah wiped beads of sweat from his brows intermittently as he carried on with his garden work…raking, sowing, watering, mulching…

Raised on the acres of his parents’ farmland where they had cultivated all manners of crops for sale and for food, gardening was work that he could do with eyes closed.

However, today, as much as he tried to concentrate, he worried. He worried over the poor harvest of the cropping season; he worried over the weather forecast of heavier rains and the flood that ensued which always affected the crops; he worried about how he would fend for his growing family even as his wife’s painful groans and the encouraging voice of the midwife floated into the backyard.

A baby is a blessing he reminded himself, though he hadn’t been too happy when Ruth broke the news that she was expecting. He had expressly told her to be more careful after they had Gideon their sixth child.

An unmistakable wail of a newborns’ voice rang from the house and his lips curved in a wide smile; his family was certainly growing in numbers.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Thank you, Louise  for the photo and Priceless Joy for hosting this charming platform where we unleash our stories:-)

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

‘A Richly Layered and Passionate Read.’ Jan Cliff

Out of the silent breath

If you enjoy my works and would like to do so, you can fuel my creativity with a slice of cake or coffee😉

Guest Posts

Meet my friend, The Candid, Vivacious and Smart Lady, Daisy.

jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

Daisy’s refreshing posts filled with candour drew me to her. When you read them, the bubbly spirit of the soul behind the writing seeps out and she has a way of making me smile. She’s been a supportive presence in this space and I enjoy our witty banters.

Daisy dear, thank you for taking the time from your busy life to share more of you with us. I truly appreciate you and extend my warm regards.

Jacqueline

Hi – I’m Daisy as I like to be called on my Blog. My real name can be  found on my website. I love the daisy because like it, I have felt like a weed most of my life and like the daisy when it turns its face to the sun it blooms. I liken myself to the Daisy because I am 100% imperfect. I’ve done terrible things, some amazing things too. I’m human.

Daisy 1

I have had a colourful life. I was born in South Africa and lived there until I was 18.

I am a French nationality, mixed with Russian and English and would liken myself to what I call ‘a pavement special’ or a mongrel. A good mix.

I have travelled a lot and lived in many different parts of the world. Miami, Marseille, Grenoble, England, Barcelona.

 

I am proud of my family. One of my aunts is from the Dominican Republic, another is Mexican and my cousin is married to a Chinese woman.

So, to say I was brought up in the Apartheid era, I can say that the government’s plan failed atrociously when it came to my family. Ha, Ha!

I love to socialise, write, connect, act, and write.

I am two months away from starting my Masters in Creative writing with the Open University. My aim is to become a creative writing specialist in the mental health sector.

Here is  a video of  me graduating  with my BA (Hons) in Art and humanities  in November 2015.

https://www.facebook.com/daisyinthewillows1/videos/10205820565647360/

I do a lot of volunteering with different mental health charities. I love doing workshops to raise mental health awareness and reduce Stigma.

We all have mental health and are all subject to good and bad moments. I think people need to really wake up and face up to the fact that having mental health issues does not make you crazy.

It’s something I am passionate about.

I really love going to music gigs, festivals and the theatre, movies and I love drinking cocktails.

Unfortunately, I have not had much of a social life for the past 3 years – we were saving up for our wedding. This is my G and my beautiful daughter Bella Bee – (as I like to call her).

I love writing stage scripts. I think I have always been creative but I had a few issues and many people saw this vulnerability in me and I let people take advantage of me .

I started this blog because I am always up for a challenge. If someone tells me, I can’t do something or have something or someone even.  🙂 I have a damn good go at making it my goal to get it. I sound terrible. Yes, I can be but I do have a good heart. I wear mine on my sleeve.

NANOWRIMO 2015 GOAL ACHIEVED
NANOWRIMO 2015 GOAL ACHIEVED

It has taken me many years to realise I am a good person and not crazy or insane.  I displayed “crazy” symptoms at an early age. I got involved in drugs, bad eating habits – I grew up way too fast and people judged me for it. I hear about people I used to know going through similar problems only now in their own lives.

It’s so easy to judge.

An example. In a place where I lived, there was a person who happened to dress as a woman. I do not know if he wanted to be a woman or just enjoyed it. It wasn’t my problem. It wasn’t a problem to me at all. People used to make fun of him. Take his pictures and put them on social media websites. It’s deplorable. I found out a bit about his background and it turned out his mother wanted a daughter but got him instead and forced him to act and dress as a girl.

So, I am one of those people with a lot of passion and drive and will stand up for the issues I am passionate about.

I remember way back in 20008/09 – I had just come out of an 8-month stint in an Eating disorder clinic.

GETTING NAKED FOR ISSUES I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT
GETTING NAKED FOR ISSUES I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT

I signed up to do a degree in acting performance. My confidence was way down in the gutter. People didn’t know how to take me. I know I had moments where I went manic and went on benders and was most certainly not stable- some people did try and reach out to help. I didn’t even know how to help myself. I got into a bad relationship.

Think: black, blue, purples, and yellows.

Lots of drinking and over-dosing to escape my situation. Arguments. Sexual boundaries blurred.

I had an abortion.

I then had my daughter Bella Bee and when I finally left the relationship – I got punished for it.

Long story short, social services got involved – I was fighting my ex and a draconian system to prove I could look after my child with support and some life-style changes. After 16 months, I won.

So, yeah – I am no innocent but then again not many people are. I think what bothers me the most is people who pick out vulnerable people to cover up their own insecurities.

The amount of secrets people have confided in me then  make out as if I am less of a person because nobody knows their story. They are not my secrets to tell but don’t wonder why I react the way I do when someone I know acts like they have never done a wrong thing in their life and well…..Whatever, right.

Smell your own crap before pointing fingers at someone else. Some people are in a better place than others and others are  not.

Life changes all the time. Nothing is fixed. The wheel is always turning.

I think I am a good person. I do shitty things,  but mostly my heart is in the right place.

So , back to why I started this Blog. I was sick of whispers and finger pointing so I went public and said – I am this person who is awesome, has a life, a heart , a brain , goals –purpose and so what if I have mental health issues.

I was very passionate about sharing my experience of  a 12-week course I had done with a volunteer charity – the program is  called WRAP.

HERE IS THE PROMO VIDEO:  https://vimeo.com/153148446

My WRAP  page: https://daisywillows.wordpress.com/category/wrap/

WRAP GRADUATES CLASS 2015
WRAP GRADUATES CLASS 2015

One year later (end of September 2016 )  and I will have done the training to be a WRAP group co-facilitator:  ready to reveal and create a supportive and safe environment  for other  people to explore other ideas about how they might like to look at how they deal with their lives and issues.

I’ve been completely blown away by just the WordPress community. I can’t believe how much support and praise I get. I don’t get this from people I have known or even met in my life, yet a total stranger can read my story and read what I have to say and actually validate that, in a positive manner.

It has really given me a new perspective.

I used to think everything that went wrong was because of me.

That’s kind of egotistical –I mean –there is more than little old me in this world. I finally know that many people like to project their shit on to another person.  I am not saying I haven’t done some messed up things. I’m the first to put my hand up when I do wrong.

Blogging has helped me see people differently. I am learning where and who to invest my emotional energy on and who is not significant. This is an ongoing process.

In the real world and the blogging world.

I –uh –am active in the WP community. I get to know people. I am learning that sometimes, there are only so many times I can reach out and if I get no reciprocation then I have to move on. There are only 24 hours in a day and life is short. Life is be lived.

I have found better-coping mechanisms over the last few years. There is a part of me who is impulsive and does want and does go out and seek out my chosen vices.

These moments –gladly are becoming less and less frequent as I grow as a person.

Yeah, what you see is what you get. Ha ha.

I don’t know what post links to share. My blogging content has evolved massively. I even write poetry now. Which is something I  have never thought I could do  –  until a few months ago.

I’m very much a free flow writer… I don’t do a lot of prepping unless it is to do with writing a script or fiction but even them I think the less planning and the more doing is where the work and my  best ideas and creativity are found.

I have said so much already…..

What is a typical day like for me?

I have my daughter and my Husband. I am very close to my Mom and my two Grans. My Gran is in the last stages of Vascular Dementia, I try and support my Mom as much as I can, even though it breaks my heart to see what this illness has done to my Gran and to my Mom.

I Blog, a lot of time goes into volunteering. Soon that will include lots more work with me studying again.

I think it is good to keep busy. Idle hands and all that … ha, ha!

I have a first born who happens to be a Bengal – here is Miss Tatiana

MISS TATIANA- FIRST BORN
MISS TATIANA- FIRST BORN

I do normal stuff, really. Nothing terribly exciting.

I was turned  down for a writing job recently but I got some feedback so that helps.

In terms of what is next for me and Blogging or publishing something. I don’t know yet. I need to find some balance and time for myself too. I want to use my Blog in some way as a platform for what I do in volunteering, in the future, to help people.

I’ve published one short story (totally on impulse) at kindle. The First story of mine ever graded in uni and I was super proud.

Here is the link: http://bit.ly/EBOOKNUMBERONE

Yeah… Lame, right. I know I am on a good path, right now. I’m enjoying the journey. The destination is moving forwards and bettering my life.

As I grow as a person –my idea of what is the “perfect” life may change. Happiness is the main goal –

That is it really. I have gone on for quite a bit.

Thanks Jackie for giving me this opportunity to share a bit more of myself with others.

It always seems impossible when I think about doing something and then I start writing /typing or doing whatever it is and all of a sudden I am at the finish line. I look back and I go” How the hell  did get here? “

‘Always Look for the silver linings’ is one of my favourite quotes.

Below is a song I love to listen to when I feel despondent “Make believe by Nora Bayes.”

Many people tell me to become a life coach.

Ha ha! The skies the limit.

P.S: If you are interested in guest posting, send an email to JacquelineObyIkocha@gmail.com.

You are cordially invited to our monthly blog party happening right now. Join in through this link.

 

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Suicide and the Artful Mastery of Self-Deceit – Stream of consciousness Saturday.

jacquelineobyikocha16 Comments

It was startling and extremely disheartening to learn that a friend’s husband committed suicide three days ago. He shot himself and it wasn’t by mistake. It was a premeditated action.

To say the least, my mind meandered from pillar to post. I couldn’t even begin to fathom the horror his wife and daughter must be living through. I couldn’t even begin to think of how brokenhearted they must be.SoCS badge 2015

It’s a nightmare that never goes away. The questions of ‘why’ will forever dance around in their heads. The first question that popped into my mind was equally why and the second question as foolish as it might sound was ‘how did he get a gun?’ 

Guns are not easily obtained back home in Nigeria and I have only ever had a gun close to me when armed robbers pointed it to my head and I found myself staring into the nozzle of the gun and praying as fast as I could in my mind.

Jokes apart, I stared my death in the face and I grew cold. I know that it’s Grace and Mercy that saved me. That Grace and Mercy stopped the robber from going trigger happy and coldheartedly shooting me.

In my ruminations, I realised that for a partner or anyone to decide to take his/her life then their sense of despair must have been horrendously hopeless. It’s just sad. It also makes me realise that a lot of artful concealing of emotions and self-deceit must have played a role until things got out of control.

The worst deceit that one can indulge in is the artful deceit of self. Indulging in such cover-up cheats one of the ability to be true to themselves and to reach out for the help they need. The saying ‘fake it until you make it,’ has always made me ask the question, to what extent should someone fake it until they have to pause and take stock of their fakery?

How long should one walk around wearing an artfully decorated mask that smiles, laughs, chit-chats and conceals the pain going on behind their mask? There are days that I felt a small wild animal growling in my head about one thing or the other but yet, I apply my gloss, wear my glad rags and get on with my to-do list like the World is all bright and beautiful. However, I’ve learnt to express and share my emotions when I feel overwhelmed and it’s not only cathartic to do so, but also offers the opportunity to hear good counsel as well.

Here was an upwardly mobile young man, who by all appearances had things going well for him, but for some reason, his thoughts fell apart to such an extent that he felt suicide is the only way forward. If he had sought help is it possible that he wouldn’t have resorted to this?

In core African societies, mental ill health is grossly overlooked and neglected and it’s almost seen as a taboo to insinuate that a person has Bipolar disorder or PTSD. Its results are far-reaching though suicide is not particularly a common phenomenon possibly due to the strong social and family system in existence, nonetheless, the dearth of professional care in this regards especially with the increasing level of stress and societal dysfunction in our present World makes this a cause for concern.

SOC’s prompt for this week coincided with my thoughts on the art of masking emotions based on the suicide incident.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. You are cordially invited to our monthly blog party happening right now. Join in through this link.

Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha’s poems portray images that stare us right in the face. Images of love, joy, death, pain, challenges, violation, and freedom. She writes in a language that’s rich in imagery, earthy, honest, vulnerable, yet full of the promise of hope, of loving and of Grace. A collection of light and dark soulful prose.

Writer's Quote Wednesday

My Beliefs…Thursday Writing Challenge

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Beliefs are like seeds sown over time. Some will fall on fertile ground and yield good fruits, some not at all and some will become thorns – Jacqueline

I believe in God.

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I believe in the ultimate power of love.

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I believe in the power of positive thinking.

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I believe in the strength of family and unity.

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I believe in the resilience of the human spirit.

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I believe in seeds sown for positive growth.

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I believe that caring and kindness elevates us.

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I believe that all men are born equal and each must be treated fairly.

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I believe that we are all chosen for a higher purpose and can all make a difference.

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I believe in the healing power of forgiveness.

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I believe in God.

Since the beginning of time, societal beliefs have been passed down from generation to generation. Some beliefs are true. Some beliefs are half-truths borne out of the perception of the believer. Some are outright lies that have been perpetuated over time that they become accepted as true for the benefit of the perpetrators.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Believe – WQWWC

P.S. You are cordially invited to our monthly blog party happening live on this blog Saturday 30th – Sunday 31st July 🙂

Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha’s poems portray images that stare us right in the face. Images of love, joy, death, pain, challenges, violation, and freedom. She writes in a language that’s rich in imagery, earthy, honest, vulnerable, yet full of the promise of hope, of loving and of Grace. A collection of light and dark soulful prose.