Blogging · Philosophy of Life · WordPress · writing challenge

Success: small and large…

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I am aware that most would define success based on the amount of material wealth someone has and will consider those who are struggling with poverty as unsuccessful especially in today’s society, but I dare to disagree with this one-dimensional point of view.

Success is quite subjective depending on who is defining it or experiencing it and my thoughts about success might differ a bit from what others and society may consider as success. Success for me is checking off my to-do list at the end of the day and realizing that I accomplished all my outlined tasks. It gives me a great sense of pleasure and morale boost when I stay consistent in working towards achieving my goals and those daily tasks eventually culminate to achieving my bigger goals.

Success comes in many shapes and sizes, small or large. For instance, I deem it success when parents raise children who become responsible, empathetic and productive members of the larger society. Encouraging someone who is probably struggling to get through a rough day, getting out of bed and getting things done when my state of mind is only asking me to stay under the duvet and do nothing, a toddler taking those first steps without falling down at every attempt, getting a promotion at work, reaching your set financial goal for the month, a middle school kid being able to finally understand a mathematical concept, a homeless person finally being able to have a place to call their own, and so forth.

People are living their success each day in their own way and it is truly important that at each point in time, we set parameters of success that agrees with us and our circumstances. To each his own. May you find your success small and large.

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Book · WordPress

Books, books and many more to read…

At various stages in my life, books that I have read and some that I recently discovered have impacted and shaped my life; including my own poetry books, and I know for sure that there are many fabulous treasures and invaluable words tucked away in many pages of books waiting to the discovered.

My childhood days were shaped by fairy tales and Enid Blyton books. My teenage years was a time of voracious and eclectic reading, from Harlequin Romance, Mills & Boon, James Hadley Chase, John Grisham and to anything legible and so forth. I soaked up many fictional literature like they were going out of fashion and spent a better portion of my pocket money on books.

It is said that knowledge is power, and the more we know, the more we can better ourselves. Now that I am well into my adulthood, many books have impacted my life and are still doing so. I find myself reaching out these days for books that don’t only help me to introspect, but serve as catalyst for change and growth in my life. Books that promote self-awareness and development, spiritual awakening, living purposefully, mindset, health, wealth and harnessing my potentials have become my staple although certain novels have tugged at my heart strings of late such as ‘And the mountains echoed by Khaled Hosseini.’

In recent times, it is no longer strange for me to be reading multiple books within the same frame of time and in the past few weeks, I revisited The Alchemist by Paul Coelho (previously read it because it was a rave at that time and now, reading it once again and discovering all the hidden gems/omens), No more Excuses by Brian Tracy, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I can credit the Bible and these books for the positive changes and growth that I experience each day

Writing and publishing two poetry books have played a major role in helping me heal from past traumas and given me an invaluable sense of self that was gained during the process. Right now, I am caught in the middle of authoring two books (well overdue) and what I have discovered so far in this writing journey is that words are living and breathing. They become you. They shape you.

Blogging · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The gifts received…

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Can one’s children be considered as memorable gifts from God as I always feel so delighted to have mine in my life – except when they are driving me up the wall 😉 I recall the birth of each one with clarity and I also remember the fullness of heart each time I received each bundle of joy.

As most parents, I cherish my kiddos to bits and as I watch them grow and mature into independent young adults, I feel an enormous sense of pride and gratitude. They are my world and my life will not be the same without them. I can’t even begin to picture life without them.

Now in reflection, I realize how we tend to take the beautiful gifts that we have received for granted most especially when they have become part and parcel of our lives. How much we value them often gets lost in the doldrums of running after the daily needs of life. This serves as a reminder to ALWAYS stay grateful and mindful.

Another gift that comes so readily to mind is my engagement ring and the spectacular way that it was presented to me by my husband in front of family and friends. I knew that he wanted to propose based on all the indications from him and thought he would do so privately as my husband is reserved by nature and not as gregarious as I. It was quite a surprise when he proposed in front of a gathering of family and friends and their words of prayers, approval and encouragement made it all the more momentous.

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Blogging · Life · WordPress

Connecting the ancestral dots…

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I truly come short attempting to dig into my family tree and see how far back I can go. I recall my maternal and paternal grandparents very easily as I got to know them well enough before they passed on. I only have a fuzzy recollection of my great-grandparents on both sides, a couple of great grand uncles and aunts who were already long in tooth and wizened in age when I was still pretty young.

It does make me wonder what I would find if I embark on the journey of tracing my family tree/ancestry several generations back. I am doubtful if any concrete information will be there to guide one’s search or if any one amongst those living will remember. A lot of one’s history does get lost with the passage of time and honestly speaking, this exercise truly brings home the thought that when we die, our loved ones mourn us for such a time, but within decades or less, we become mere memories that fizzle away like the mist and some may never even recollect who we are at all.

This also makes me realize that one day when the sun sets on our lives, we will also become the ancestors, and though it is sad that our progenies may never get to know who we are, we can leave indelible marks behind that will make them proud if and when they discover that we shared the same roots.

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Poetry/Poems · WordPress · Writing

Raindrops…

She stood in the elements…

tears mingled with raindrops…

a mix of nature and emotions…

soaked her chiffon kaftan.

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Rain evoked numerous feelings…

It reminded her of how they met…

of days cuddled under the blanket…

sharing stories and breathing each others air.

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It reminded her of home…

of cups of warm broth…

and woolly socks for her feet…

as she listened to his heartbeat.

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It reminded her of the things lost…

of his last words ‘I will be back soon’…

but never to be fulfilled…

he died on a rainy day.

Jacqueline 2023

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WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

Etch it in ink…

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I write because I do not know how not to. As far back as I can recall, I owned diaries and in them I would scribble my deepest thoughts. It was primarily a way of finding release, venting and setting free those expressions that ran around in my head. It slowly became a way to have my voice heard. It gave my thoughts a medium and ever since I started blogging and writing on other social media platforms I never stopped. Writing is my super power. It energizes, rejuvenates, helps me to refine my thoughts, gives me a sense of visibility and permanence.

The feeling and pleasure that I derive from writing is indescribable. To say the least, it is cathartic. I have been through extreme crisis situations that voicing my thoughts through writing has been a healing process. It helps bring more clarity to my thoughts, ideas and perceptions and I hope that it also gives the reader a better understanding of the messages that I share. One day, I hope to own an old traditional typewriter and will type beautiful letters and send to the people I love.

For me, writing is life and asides for all the other obvious reasons why writing is important, I believe that writing has been my sense of relief, a healing tool, a friend, a passion and purpose.

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Wellness · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The simple things…

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Joy. A simple word, yet it carries a whole lot of weight in it for far too many people are constantly in search of joy and many fail to find it as often as they should. I think the fault lies in having great expectations and waiting for things that are exceptionally good before they can have some iota of pleasure.

Connecting with my spiritual side and aiming to grow more spiritually aware, diligently practicing gratitude, choosing to have an optimistic and positive mindset, staying as fully present and living in the moment are conscious steps that I take daily and these have helped me to continually create more positive emotions for myself.

For me, the simple every day things of life bring joy to me and helps enhance my sense of wellbeing. When the work day is over, the thought of going home to my place of comfort consistently brings me pleasure. It’s not that I don’t like going to work, but knowing that I get to return home to my place of refuge where I can choose to lounge in my pajama’s, relax, exhale, be with my family etc. makes those hours spent pursuing the daily bread worth the effort.

My children are a constant source of joy for me. Listening to them share their dreams and work towards them, watching them grow into independent young adults and experiencing their wins in life brings me an immense source of wellbeing and accomplishment.

At the start of each day, I make my to-do list and set little goals that ultimately contribute to achieving my bigger goals definitely makes one feel good. There are many days that I am unable to do all the things that I set out to do, but I have also learnt not to guilt trip myself, to be thankful for the things that I was able to do and not to dwell inordinately on the things that I failed to do.

As adults, we get bogged down with so much in form of rules, responsibilities and life that we often forget how to feel that unadulterated sense of bliss. I truly believe that living mindfully helps us to create, recreate and really experience that sense of happiness and bliss that we deserve.

I wish you joy.

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@beyondexisting.j

How to manage stressful mornings #fyp #deepthoughts #advice #decisionmaking #selfcontrol #emotionalintelligence #stress #Howto Our daily lives can start off on a stressful not and may even take unexpected turns that will make or mar an ordinarily simple day. In such situations, what matters most is not about what is happening to us, but how we respond to our experiences. How we exert self control knowing that wrong decisions taken under duress can be defining.

♬ Дикая львица – ALEX&RUS

Blogging · Family · Personal · WordPress · Writing

Their absence leaves us bereft…

As treasure connotes something truly special, my lost treasures are intangible and irreplaceable. Three people come so easily to mind: my dad, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law.

Death can be so final even when it comes slowly like the way my dad and my mother-in-law lost their battle with Cancer after a valiant battle. It was a heart wrenching and intensely difficult time for our family and what amazes me till today is how graceful these two humans were in the face of such debilitating illness. I loved and still love my dad to bits and his passing hit me really hard. Just writing this makes my heart flood with sadness. I have grown to bear the pain of his loss and to ruminate in the beautiful memories that he left behind and appreciate him over and over again. I think one of my regrets is not telling him often how much I loved him and that my kids did not have enough opportunity to really get to know him. He was a gentleman and a good man. I believe that I was in a state of denial and had kept hoping that God’s mercy would prevail and that he would win the battle with cancer. Till his last moments I stayed hopeful, but death robbed me.

My mother-in-law and I grew close especially considering how much my husband adored her. She was not just the matriarch of the family, but became my ally as well. Her name was Grace and indeed she was such a graceful and beautiful soul. Although her passing wasn’t sudden as she fought breast cancer for several years but her last day with us is forever etched on my mind as I was there in her last moments when she transitioned.

You truly never understand the enormity of what you have until you have lost it, more especially when the loss is sudden. My brother-in-law’s passing was like a bolt of lightening. It was a rude shock. He drowned. Till this moment, the circumstances surrounding his demise in Toronto is still unclear to us. He was quite a gregarious young man and his absence is felt.

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would love to have my family members back and relive all the beautiful moments with them. These people were gems and to know them was simply to love them.

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Blogging · WordPress · writing challenge

Toddling down memory lane…

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Well, today’s prompt took me a few minutes or so to give my memory a jig and I must say that as I meandered through lanes of memories of yester-years, searching the nooks and crannies to see if I can pinpoint my earliest memory tucked away neatly in the recesses of my mind, waiting to be discovered as it jumps out at me and says ‘hello there, here I am and good to see you,’ I find fuzzy memories melding into each other and I am not quite sure again what happened when and which one came before the other.

Images of my childhood home, of close family members old, gone and alive; of lovely frocks, of sunny days and smells of the soursop, mango and cashew fruits, of the various sounds of music playing on my dad’s Grundig turntable, of the cries of younger siblings, the laughter and soft scolding of my mother, the pounding of the mortar and pestle – preparing native foofoo – the cosy smell of my grandmother and her shea butter, the drizzle of the rain and images of running out in the rain with neighbourhood friends as our mothers yelled at us to come out of the rain all flip through my mind like a TV series. Dainty echoes of yester-years wrap itself like gossamer across my mind and like the spiders cobweb, they all interconnect.

I do have some recollection of early days of kindergarten and some of the nursery rhymes learnt have stuck with me all these decades. One particular memory of having being left perched on a fence where I sat and cried so badly sticks out like a sore thumb. The boy, who happened to be so much older and bigger refused to put me down and I was unable to come down by myself. I think I refused to go back to the nursery after that incident and my mother was rightly concerned. I can’t remember how she resolved the issue and I don’t know why I have held onto this memory and why it didn’t get lost in the annals of my life.

I wish I could say that I have extra – ordinary – recollection and clarity of my toddler years in sequence, but I daresay that I truly don’t recall as much as I would have loved. Maybe, if I had an encounter with a hypnotist, who knows what one will discover under the intense state of concentration. I am not so sure that I really care to know as I doubt if delving so deeply into the past at this point in time in my life is truly worth the price. After all, the past is simply a memory trace of time lived and as whimsical or as eager as we may feel, we can’t go back there as we are living in this present moment.

I do understand that the exercise of reliving one’s memory can be essential as they not only teach us important life lessons that we can apply in our present and possibly the future, they also give us a sense of continuity, identity and purpose. Indeed, our memories shape us and make us who we are.

Keep making beautiful memories.

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Blogging · WordPress · Writing

I am brave or am I?

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When we think of the word ‘brave’ our minds automatically switch to the endurance of pain, performing daunting tasks and facing danger without fear. Our minds go to the images of brave soldiers at the war front, selfless, daring, heroic and protecting us from intrusion at the risk of their own lives. I am not that soldier, yet, I daresay that I am brave. Yes! I am.

Not to thump my fists on my chest, belting out a war cry, I can puff up with a little sense of pride that I do stand up to daunting and unpleasant situations – often with trembling knees and trepidation. Most times, in all the places that I have worked over the years, I have been that voice that speaks out for those who don’t know how to or feel too intimidated to speak up.

On a regular basis, I am not afraid to question the status quo when my perception of rightness prompts me to do so even if it means that my voice is the only dissenting voice in a crowd of many. What that has achieved over time is not only to draw the attention of those in positions of authority to review any ‘questionable circumstance’ but has served as a catalyst for positive change and gradual inculcation of healthier work cultures.

As much as I like being comfortable, I have also grown to understand that the space of comfort stifles personal growth and as such, I endeavour to try new things – albeit sensibly – and to push my boundaries in many ways. Taking such steps brings a new sense of power and exhilaration and also takes some level of bravery as most of us are creatures of habit who find changes unsettling. Those things that we fear can keep us bound in invisible chains and as is commonly said, ‘you don’t have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.’

Personally, putting myself out there on social media through videos, baring my thoughts in writing for others to read sometimes feels as if I am exposing the inner parts of my soul to friends and strangers alike, because we live in a world where people are far more at ease to criticize and judge than to empathize and to keep an open mind. ‘

However, the sense of freedom that comes from doing so daily propels me to keep showing up, to keep being brave in my little world and I am not about to stop anytime soon.

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