Chef Extraordinaire…personal

November 26, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha29 Comments

Bending over to stoke the firewood, blowing at it with gusto and fanning the crackling flames till they lit; putting kerosene into the stove and lighting it’s wicks with an ignited single broomstick; manipulating the gas cooker to lower the heat from burning the beans or rice while I snatched a quick five minutes read in the bathroom, were my early forays in the kitchen. I was caught young!

Naturally this has gravitated towards keeping my brood and my dear Himself nourished over the years and I believe that in most homes this is usually the case – the mother automatically assumes the kitchen chef position.

I certainly know the way to his heart by keeping his tummy nicely sated with good tasting yumminess 🙂

It has been my primary responsibility over the years and I dare say that I can whip up a decent meal and efficiently too.

Since that is the case, it goes without debate that I am the best cook in my domain.

However, there are have been days that Himself develops a desire to become a culinary artist and Myself simply puts up her feet and watch’s my kitchen transform into an operation desert storm 😉

I don’t mutter a word of discouragement so that the waves of culinary want-to-do will hit more often.

I simply go ahead and enjoy eating every bite whipped up by Himself, with a deep hum of appreciation and a sink load of dirty pots and pans.

Do you enjoy whipping up some yummy stuff or is there a Himself in your life, who is a culinary artist turning your kitchen into an area hit by a thunder storm?

NaBloPoMo – Thursday, November 26

If you’re celebrating Thanksgiving today (or even if you’re not!), tell us about the best cook in your family.

Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story

Harvesting Generosity…personal

November 26, 2015November 26, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

In these season of glad tidings, may we find it in the generosity of our hearts to extend our kindness to others who least expect it from us.

A lot of times, we may have far more than we really need to eat and drink, while so many people are suffering and hungry.

If we share the little that we have with someone who doesn’t have, it might even be better than we think.

It may not be our duty to give to these people, but we should also remember that no one wants to be in a beggaring position and that an act of kindness no matter how small, is never a wasted effort.

I will crave your indulgence in sharing a personal story. I hesitate, because in my frame of mind, good deeds done towards others are between me, the recipient and God.

These gestures are not things that I wish to publicize, but I just want to share one of the times when I have reaped unprecedented fruits which I believe were the result of kindness.

Several years ago in Lagos, I had a catering outfit which had started out small just to test the waters.

I pursued and got contracts to service some corporate bodies with hot meals, finger foods etc, and I would always join my staff to attend to these customers, sharing a word, smiles and general chit-chat.

At the end of each day that we worked, left over food was shared to those who could not afford to buy these meals. Many of them were total strangers on the streets who were destitute.

This went on consistently for a while and though one or two people thought that it was being wasteful (because they felt that we could still serve some of the leftover the following day) but I never saw it that way and as a matter of principle, we shared everything to the last spoon.

I recall that on one of the days, a poor man came up to my vehicle to thank us for all the food that he had been receiving and he was almost in tears.

I was a bit embarrassed to see a grown man scrounging for food and I told him that it was not a problem and that so long as I was catering in the vicinity, we would give him something to eat.

Anyway to cut a long story short, we continued giving as much as we could.

Not too long after, my small scale business exploded.

It became inundated with so much demand that we could hardly keep up and I had to turn down some jobs at the onset of the deluge.

I had contracts crawling out of the woodwork’s and falling all over my company, that the only way to go was to expand fast in other to manage the demand.

I quickly employed more hands, bought a second delivery bus, and within the space of four months thereafter, I saw myself entertaining the idea of building my own structure which had not been in my plan because the rented space that I was using got too small.

Nothing had prepared me for such breakthrough.

In a quick wave, I had realized sufficient capital to build and equip a modern medium-scaled bakery and a kitchen.

This project ran into millions of Naira (Nigerian currency) without a single loan from anybody, but gains realized from the overflow of business that rained on me.

Some might call it coincidence and hard work, but I called it divine intervention. I called it spiritual uplifting. I called it OPEN HEAVENS!

Whatever part of the World you might be in; from London to Tokyo, US to Zimbabwe, Japan to Ottawa, Venezuela to Nigeria, Cambodia to Paris, Russia to the moon, these principles remain the same!

I am not advising that your giving should be tied with expecting something in return, but that the law of nature works that way.

Gratitude makes what we have enough and more, while generosity opens up the store house of harvest for us.

The wise words of the Bible says that, ”when you open your hands to give, you equally open your hands to receive.”

”We must give in other to get more. It is the generous giving of ourselves that produces the generous harvest” – Orison Swett Marden.

”Generosity consists not of the sum given, but the manner in which it is bestowed” – Mahatma Gandhi

”We can do no great things, only small things with great love” – Mother Theresa

Thank you izzyasabee for your invitation to participate in the 3 quote challenge.

I would like to invite these 3 lovely bloggers to participate in the 3 quote challenge.

Edwina Episodes

Folake

Sonnie blogs

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Musings · Personal story · The Daily Post

LET GO OF THAT POISON!…

November 25, 2015November 26, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha12 Comments

Have you ever had a mill stone tied around your neck? No? You are not sure? Well, unforgiveness is a mill stone!

Bearing grudges does not only feel like the weight of an albatross sitting on your neck, it is giving free rental space in the hardware of ones brain to issues better tossed out.

Forgiveness frees your heart and mind in ways that are beyond measure.

I forgive, not even for the sake of the person who has offended me, but to set myself free.

You forgive for your own sake, because not forgiving is called slow poison.

This poison taints your heart, taints your mind, taints your life and it is a hindrance to the fullness of your joy because it will always remain a dark shadow and an acid leaching away at the insides of the unburdened.

It is a given that somethings may happen to us that makes us feel as if we can never get past it to the level of forgiveness, but indeed we can, when we seek the grace, even if we don’t forget the incident because it is difficult to delete certain memories that have become ingrained in our memory banks.

However, our minds are very resilient and will fight for us if we give it the chance to. Sometimes, if I am mad at someone and they are within reach, I simply unburden my grudge and move on. It is not worth nights of lost sleep. Not one bit.

I speak deeply from painful life experiences that I thought would make me cynical, embittered and an unforgiving soul.

…But love set me free! I had to actively seek peace, forgive and let go for me to be free indeed. It was so bad at a point that I secretly wished every imaginable ill on Earth on the offender and when I say that it took the serenity and the divine grace of God to expunge my bitterness, I don’t mince my words.

When I accepted those words ”daughter you are loosed” over my life, my joy burst through that no dam could contain it. Now all I feel is pity! Maybe, one day, I shall speak of these things.

It took learning to realize that even though forgiveness does not excuse a behaviour, it prevents that behaviour from destroying one’s heart.

Forgiving was unlocking the door to set a captive free and that captive was me.

Not forgiving meant empowering the enemy some more and remaining a victim.

The Daily Post prompt I Can’t Stay Mad At You.

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

Inspiration - Motivation · Musings · Personal story · Quotes For You

The Game Of Best…

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha29 Comments

There are no two ways about it, the utmost thing that I do better than anyone else is being myself.

I am an original of who I am and not a poor quality copy of someone else – well, except bits of my parents, who did the very needful to create me 😉

It is important to reaffirm this to oneself time and again, especially in voyeuristic recent times where the over-zealous drive to be perfect seems to increase more and more.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in striving to be the best that one can be, but there is something wrong in getting carried off in the drift of trying to be too many people at the same time; even a persons brain will surely get wonky and tired from the ping-pong of living lives or attempting to live lives that don’t belong to us.

I may not be particularly adept at doing somethings that other people are very good at doing or being better than anyone as a matter of fact.

What I know for sure is that whatever interest that I develop, I try to put in the best of my ability and my real competitor is myself because I keep pushing my boundaries and keep aspiring to improve on my standards.

When we look at our palms, no two finger prints are the same, likewise, all fingers are definitely not equal. Each is characteristically different and that is how all human are different.

It is a foolhardy, frustrating, exhausting and stress inducing process to keep comparing notes and juggling the attempts to beat others.

There will always be someone better at one thing or the other.

Trying to be the very best at whatever your game is the first part of being the best and I must reiterate that in the game of best, being the best authentic you that you can be is better than being a confused nobody.

NaBloPoMo Prompt – Monday, November 23

What do you do better than anyone else?

Blogging · Gratitude · Hope · Life · Personal story · Writing

Staying Alive, staying alive….

November 20, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha59 Comments

The year fast draws to a close and it has really been an eventful one with a few dashes of rainbow and a lot of World mishaps.

Let us be prayerful that the next few weeks will be calm, joyful and refreshing.

On a personal note, by the end of the year, I will be thankful for having survived a turbulent World.

In today’s World where even the mundane part of life seems fraught with danger, we should be grateful for each day that we spend successfully as we lay ourselves down to sleep.

By the end of the year, I would have been running my blog nonstop for 7 months and should have concluded the draft of one of my books.

It was my hope to finish two of them, but with blogging in the mix and other duties that beckon for my attention daily, without ceasing, I had to focus on one and take it easy so that I don’t break down whilst trying to hurtle at a full-on break-neck speed.

I am currently at 50,000 words + and may be closing in with 70 to 80k words or so. I am not sure.

Being alive these days is a major achievement and it is only when we are successfully alive at the end of the year that we can count how many eggs our chickens have laid.

NaBloPoMo prompt – Friday, November 20

What do you hope happens by the end of this year?

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal

November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

Feeling like an outsider is not a memory that I can latch on to easily as a child because while growing up, my parents home was teeming with family members, hard work and a lot of play that there was no room left to feel left out.

However, these silly pangs showed their green eyes during my semi-adult early years at the University.

I was a freshman and boy-friendless at that point in time, my senior roommates all had their heartthrobs, going out for parties and what have you and in a bid to feel like part of the crowd, I bowed to peer influence (which is not only very real but can be dangerous as well) and duly started dating to foster my own false sense of belonging.

Peer pressure can be subtly or out-rightly intimidating and when a budding young person is ensnared by some of these trappings of false freedom (away from home and parental influence that have cocooned you for so long) for the first time, it can be a combustion of a whole lot of factors, without paying mind to extraneous complications or consequences.

Sometimes, I look back and truly thank God from the depth of my soul that I did not wind up dead by some of the youthful escapades and exuberance that my adventurous self ventured into – a story that can create a book.

Now as a full grown adult, I have grown into my own sense of self-assurance, self-love, self-inclusion and belonging, sufficiently enough, to create my own windows and not have to peep into the neighbours own.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Outsiders

Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

Blogging · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Personal story · Tips for the day

I came, I live, I laugh, I love….What about You?

November 18, 2015November 18, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

No one likes to dwell on thoughts of death, but the grim reaper is a visitor that likes to call uninvited. He doesn’t ring any door bells when he arrives otherwise he will not meet anyone at home.

So like a thief in the dead of the night, he slinks in!

Since death is an inevitable fact of life that can happen at any time, should it matter to us that our sojourn here on mother earth is remarkable?

Should it not matter to us that we live our lives in such a way that when we kick our individual buckets we would have left a mark that warms the heart of those who remember us and not a shudder of dread with a muttered “good riddance to bad rubbish?”

For all that it is worth, the part of leaving heartwarming thoughts behind appeals to me far better than being a grimace on someone’s face.

If I am well off enough to leave a few heirlooms to loved ones here and there, that would be very nice and dandy, but I think the most important things that I would like to be remembered for are encapsulated in these simple words:

”I came, I lived, I laughed and I loved.”

I came, because I am presently here and was purposefully brought into existence.

I am no mistake (no child is a mistake no matter the circumstance of birth).

I lived.
By being myself
By doing what I love…writing, reading, learning, dancing, talking, drawing, eating and so on…
Living a purpose driven life.
By spending time with my loved ones.
Helping others and sharing with others as much as I can.
By being thankful.
By keeping healthy and exercising.
By mentoring and life coaching both for others and for my own benefit.
By keeping stress at a minimal level.
By dumping the negative thinking.
By forgiving and moving on.
By appreciating nature.

I laughed.

Growing a sense of humour even self-deprecatory humour is healthy.
Laughter is a healer. It is music and fireworks to the soul. Life is so much better with laughter and I want a life enriched with laughter.

I loved.

I would love as much as my heart can expand and the heart can expand so, so much when we give it the chance to do so.

I want to live so that when I die, even the undertaker would be sorry that I am gone.

Not a particularly cheery topic right? However, when you dwell on it, it actually helps to streamline ones purpose and priorities.

So do tell, what part would you like to be remembered for? Heartwarming or Grimacing?

NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?

Family · Life · Love · Personal story

A Frolicking Day….

November 13, 2015November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha36 Comments

Ever since I became a wife and mother, my views about days off and such luxury changed. Ideal days off or should I say hours off are found in snatches here and there.

It all depends on what is happening in our lives at that point in time. It would start with waking up and finding that my family are in good state of health. No major dramas except the usual hungry humans, school/work related matters, housekeeping blah, blah.

It’s a day off to go shopping quietly all by myself and return without settling a thousand squabbles of my offspring along the way.

It’s a day off in my mind when I have that me time to unwind and read my book, listen to music, dance, take a walk or savour a good meal.

However, there are also extra special days such as the one that I spent today with the kiddos at Jumeirah Beach.

It’s weekend already in this part of the World and we decided to generally go lounging and frolicking in the water and sand.

It is rewarding in so many ways to spend time like this with them.

Lounging and enjoying the fresh breeze coupled with people watching is an awesome sport too 😉

The beach presents you literally with humans of all shapes and sizes. You can watch and make up stories in your mind to your hearts delight, then again, some real time stories get to happen right before your eyes.

We caught some odds and ends on camera (like the Air Force formation in the sky), we had a greasy lunch and came home happy.

Day offs are really what one chooses to make of it. For me it is a state of well-being/mind and finding my peace in the midst of each days ups and downs.

In response to NaBloPoMo, Friday, November 13

Describe your ideal day off. What would you do with your time?

Street art captured in the glare of the sun

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream

How much?…

November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha32 Comments

Haggling is an art! To live in an African society with it’s rowdy markets, you need to perfect the art of haggling over goods.

Recollections of days spent traipsing after mother or grandma at the market, trudging from pillar to post haggling over goods in order to get the best bargains makes me smile.

It was never a straight journey!

Purchases were made in-between hundreds of greeting exchanges.

These grown women would hug, chatter, ask about the entire family and their well-being, exclaim over the incessant climb in the price of goods, natter about the latest African prints fabric, discuss their next meetings and what have you, while you stood patiently with the basket waiting for that conversation to be over, only for another encounter of another auntie to occur down the line where yam tubers were sold.

The haggling dance between the seller and the buyer was one done in camaraderie.

A piece of yam tuber would be lifted, passed from the buyers one hand to the other to check how weighty, inspected to ensure that it was still fresh and when mother was satisfied with the selected yam piece, the pricing war begins with “how much?”

This could go on from one market stall to the other and the basket on your head got heavier with the items purchased.

On a good day, your assistance would be rewarded with some boiled groundnuts, fried puff-puffs or something little to nibble at.

Please do remember not to grumble when the haggling is going on otherwise, you might be rewarded with a proverb that says “a child carried on the back, does not realize that the journey is very far.”

For today’s quote, I shall leave you with these African proverbs:

“Life is like shopping in the market, when you finish your purchases, you go home.”

”One does not throw stones in the market square, because you don’t know whose head it might break.”

”Marriage is like eating groundnuts in pods! You have to crack it to see what is inside.”

I have totally enjoyed reminiscing over these proverbs for the past couple of days Oba all thanks to you.

I invite these awesome bloggers to feel free and share some quotes:

Gradmama

Haddon Musings

Adamma

Blessed love.

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You

Are you overlooking the Small Clay Pot?…

November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha13 Comments

Learning to cook started at a young age for me; not that I remember being asked 😉 it was just the way things were.

From assisting mother in the kitchen in preparation of all sorts, to going over during the holidays to help grandma prepare her classic agidi jollof/wrapped corn meal and oil bean flakes which we would also help her sell at the local market; commercial trading was also learnt in the bargain.

Naturally, as a young child and a bookworm, often, I would get distracted or sneak into the restroom to read a quick page of my fave of the moment and the quick page turned into several; meanwhile my absorbed mind has forgotten that I was meant to be watching the pot of beans and ensure that it didn’t burn.

Needless to say, it was usually the aroma of burnt offering that alerted my nostrils to the disaster on fire and mothers voice raised to power two exclaiming away “Hia! this child will not kill me!”

The burnt level of the beans knew many degrees and the instruction to wash that burnt pot until it was gleaming enough to show the reflection of your teeth was never a small task. It kept you on the straight and narrow corner of the kitchen for some good days 🙂

Yet mothers patience never gave up on us. She continued teaching and we continued attempting to kill her, but thankfully never succeeded and turned out to be responsible adults today.

Let me leave you with this African proverb:

“When you overlook the small clay pot, it will boil over and put off the firewood.”

This can be translated in so many ways, but a quick example is: when you overlook a small bad habit, it becomes a character trait.

Once again Oba thank you for extending this invite. I am enjoying it.

To participate in the 3 quote challenge, I would like to invite:

Obscurasomnia

Oneta

Tony Burgess

Good day and blessings.