Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Inspiration - Motivation

To my dear young man…

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It’s 5:30 am and I step into your room. I take a peek at your nice shaven scalp and peaceful face. You are still asleep. A gentle snore emits from your nostrils as you snuffle and adjust your duvet for more purchase of cosiness, my heart is full.

I rest on the door jamb for a while, staring at your silhouette that is cast by the bluish little night light on your beside stand; you have never liked to sleep in the dark, even as a baby.

Where did time go? I wonder in amazement as I look at my yet to awaken son. You will rouse from sleep, shedding the age 13 and rightfully 14 years today.

In awe, I drift just a little bit down memory lane, even as I ponder at the essence of time and wishing I could catch it and trap it in a capped bottle.

My high scholar son, since the moment that your wriggly, squalling, head full of hair and beautiful (dare I say so) tiny self was placed in my arms, till this moment, I have never ceased to gaze at you; never quite sure how I got so lucky 🙂 I have cherished the priceless moments of watching you grow, and will remember these memories as long as I live.

You have always been a bouncy, charming and happy child, even as a baby, you were just so peaceful.

Now, look at you! My strapping Six footer, towering over Mama, yet, just yesterday, you were stretching out your little arms to be carried. I watch as you learn independence, eager to assert yourself, no longer clinging to the tails of my skirt for everything, even though I catch myself dismayed at times with such speedy growth process, I remain a proud mama.

My Cordon Bleu chef, who whips up a la carte breakfasts to the delight of family and visitors; how did I get so lucky?

My Mr. Fix it, ready to help mum with any technical stuff that stumps my imagination (and this happens quite often).

I admire your caring, protective and helping hands towards your siblings especially your younger brother who adores you so much. You are a blessing to our family.

I watch in amusement when you shy away from a mummy’s hug in front of your mates and I do enjoy your chuckles when you watch mummy do her dancing antics.

Today, I promised not to give you a lecture 😉

I thank the Lord for your life and pray each day that you will be safe and free from harm.

I pray as you turn into a full-fledged teen, that your mind is guarded by God’s peace.

That you would chose right from wrong, standing tall, proud and strong.

May the right spirit be renewed within you everyday, with wisdom, with integrity of heart and uprightness.

May the hand of the Lord continue to guide you as you gradually inch your way to manhood.

May your days be long and rich in faith, love, joy and kindness.

You teach me things that I did not know before, such as parenting, and that does not come with a manual and you make me glad to declare that you are my son. It is a declaration of love, pride, joy, fierce protectiveness and sometimes anger and despair.

To you, my dear young man, with a heart overflowing with love, I wish a very marvelous and happy 14th birthday.

Mummy.

 

 

 

Creative Writing · Inspiration - Motivation

Get inspired by the neighbors: Blogging 101

20150707_233302I haven’t written in days, not because I don’t want to but for reasons that I cannot even put my fingers on. It seems I am having withdrawal syndrome from a whole lot of stuff. Traveling from one place to the other does have its highs and lows and I think my low kicked in sometime last week after a days trip from Abu Dhabi to Dubai, coupled with living out of a suitcase, so I lagged behind on my Blogging 101 assignments. Well, the saying that it is better to be late than never applies here, so I am going to play catch up right now and hope that would kick-start my writing juice and other stuff as well.

I made friends with some of my good neighbours in the blogosphere, paying visits to several abodes and sharing my thoughts on their timelines and articles. I paid a visit to your cyber abode, Disarmed by Love and your warm welcome made me feel at home.
I ate and drank as you invited, listening to your words that teemed with wisdom and motivation. It was a very good visit. I felt that I had run into a kindred and gracious spirit and with that warm glow I left, knowing that I shall visit again.

I made a pit stop at http://patternsofsouldevelopment.com/ his in-depth perspective in analyzing some things we tend to overlook with the wave of the hand, made me think a bit deeper and left me with new knowledge. We bantered quite a bit, gleaning off each other. I taught him how to say DALU – which is a gracious thank you in my native language. He is also a keeper.
For some fun and color which I love so much, I flitted around quite a bit, like a hummingbird from one blog post to the next blog, perusing the beautiful and lively photos of: https://mariajanssonphotography.wordpress.com/, http://kevinhotter.com/ and https://whsimphotos.wordpress.com/

They made me wish I was a better photographer.

They were simply captivating and inspired me enough to take nondescript photos that were going to nowhere (like the one above this article).

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation

Passion in Hope…

all is not lost

A new day and renewed hope.

Hope, that little voice that says maybe,

Even when everything says maybe not.

Work with hopeful passion and you will gain momentum.

Work only for money, you gain tedium and you wear thin.

As you step into another new week,

Search out for the silver linings even in the dark clouds,

The hope that burgeons in your heart,

is your beacon that points you to your prosperity.

Remember that prosperity has a different meaning,

From one person to the other,

Prosperity is not only dependent on how much you made,

But equally measured by the satisfaction that you gained.

Be at peace.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

 

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Love · Tips for the day

Your home… a little tip for today.

20150707_130623Your real home lies within you.
Not the bricks and mortar house of glamor that you reside in.

All painted and glossy with every top of the range appliance that money can buy.

That my friend, is just your physical abode.

Your real home lies within you,

Yet the home within you is neglected, in shambles and in quandary,

That even a stray pet would not want to live in there,

Take care of the real home that lies within you;

Fill it with good things,

A large portion of love,

A fresh harvest of thanksgiving

A handful of forgiveness,

Some tablespoons of honesty,

A jug of faith,

A dash of loyalty,

An ounce of friendship,

Three tablespoons of tenderness,

A whole shake of patience,

One big barrel of laughter

And a large dose of prayer.

Blend it all together, and bake it in the oven of your heart with a pan of Hope until it is well done.

Serve your guests daily with generous portions,
And your real home will definitely gleam with splendor.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Musings

Just hold on…

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Providence places some people in our paths for a reason.

In these times that we live in, we meet new people every day,

Not necessarily through the traditional means of meeting people.

The social media, even though it has its downsides,

Has more upsides when it is used in the right manner,

It can serve as a medium of meeting decent people,

And many more advantageous reasons to it as well.

Evaluate your intentions for wanting to connect with other people.

Could it be that you intend to hide behind the impersonal shroud that the sticky web offers?

Or are you willing to take off the mask and let the real you shine through?

In any case, whatever your intents are:

Hold on fast to those friends that you meet and make in your sojourns,

Those friends that make you smile,

Hold on to those friends that make you quake in laughter,

To those friends that make you think twice,

and want to be better than you are,

Hold on to those friends whose wisdom shines through,

Through their sage, twinkly eyes and,

far more than their glinting grey hairs,

Hold on fast to those friends who are in tune with themselves,

Because my friend, it takes a lot to get there.

To friends who can educate you,

Beyond the level that you already know,

Hold on to those friends, with whom you can be the real you,

To those friends who might shake their heads in rebuke,

Because, sometimes even though we don’t like it,

Sometimes, rebuke is a an expression of love.

To those friends who are willing to share from their bounty of wealth,

in their knowledge, in their smiles, in their wisdom, in kind and the likes,

To friends old and new, traditional and modern,

Young in age and old at heart,

Old in age and young at heart,

Just hold on to them all,

Because I tell you my friend, they all have their purpose,

Each and every single one of them.

“The test of friendship is not about those that you have known for ages, but about those who crossed your path and are stuck to your side”.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inspiration - Motivation · Musings

Just listen.. your little tip for today

calmnessKeep calm and just listen.

If you keep talking,

You can only repeat what you know,

But when you listen, with an open mind,

Chances are you will learn something,

That you did not know before,

Because we do not know it all.

So, can you try?

And just keep quiet a little while?

And just listen, to that point of view,

Though disagreeable it might be,

So that you might renew,

And gain better perspective,

Even when you don’t agree.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

Inspiration - Motivation · Social critic · Uncategorized

Pornography… 10 reasons why you should stop the views.

good advice

Simple defined: “pornography is the depiction of sexual behavior that is intended to arouse sexual excitement in its audience” – The legal dictionary.

What set me down this path of thinking you might care to ask? Well, let me tell you a little bit why. I sat in the library several days ago, trying to wrap my mind around a book that I am putting together. I had escaped the confines of my home, trading it for a little slice of time at the public library so that I could escape having my children come barging in now and again, to ask for this or that and derailing my train of thought.

Okay. So I settle down with my paraphernalia of notes and different colored pens and laptop and lunch and all, trying to dig deep in my memory bank to fish out those words that I search for. Not far gone in my quest, the infernal chit-chat behind my back commences. I ignored it a little bit, but the consistent drip, drip of voices in the library behind my back, drew my curious mind to identify the culprits. I squelched every inclination to give them a good scold on etiquette.

Three young heads are planted close to each other, gasping and awing over the contents of a smart phone. My curiosity was piqued to no ends – I am a people watcher (if any hobby can have that title) so, I rose from my chair and I craned my neck. Voila! They were actively engaged in a watching a torrid sexual session of group sex on their Iphone, in the public library. If I could blush, I am sure my face would have taken the color of beetroot.

The best thing to do: I politely took my things and moved myself, a little reluctantly to another position (that seat, which I had appropriated gave me a vantage point to observe everything going on in that vicinity and I still struggled to let go of the desire to give that scold 🙂

Now my train of thought had digressed from creating the perfect murder scene, to wondering about the scene that I just witnessed and thinking of a storyline in that aspect.

I doubt if Porn makes a polite dinner conversation? It is hard to picture one’s dad slicing through that steak, your ma picking her peas and your maiden aunt Virginia sipping on her Earl Grey tea whilst you engage in recounting lurid details of a BDSM scene, they would probably choke to death.

Yet, this topic that does not make a rousing discourse at the dinner table, is a thriving billion dollar industry which keeps growing and is virtually available at the slightest click of the fingers. What a waste of good funds!

I may not be an expert in analyzing sexual matters, but at my age, I do know a thing or two I can assure you.

I think that irrespective of religious inclinations or belief, pornography affects its viewers negatively for so many reasons. I don’t want to sound like a righteous and sanctimonious preacher, so,  I will keep it simple, enunciate just a few reasons and encourage you to reason with me.

1. It rewires the brain and it’s short term gratification can lead to long term negative effects through the Coolidge effect of automatic response to continuous craving for more and more new excitement. The trappings of cyber-sex gives an opportunity to view millions of boobs and all which can span several life times in a few minutes and after years of consumption, the same material ceases to excite the viewer, thus the compulsion to delve deeper and explore newer grounds.

2. It then becomes an addiction. The repetition of this specific behavior leads to the release of the feel good hormone Dopamine, thus the continuous craving for repeats which is akin to what addicts of other substances experience.

3. It can actively damage or erode family relationships due to the unrealistic expectations from your relationships and in some cases, real women/men cease to arouse your interest as much as those that you see on the internet.

4. It causes decrease in sexual libido (testosterone) and erectile dysfunction, which will inevitably lead to depression, low energy level and lack of satisfaction.

5. Its leads to the development of thoughts and fetishes that would not have been encountered without porn.

6. This act reaches in and destroys the hearts, minds and bodies of its participants.

7. Waste of so much valuable time and funds surfing the net for an activity that eventually leaves the viewer depleted and possibly indebted through purchases made online for viewing rights to these sites.

8. It could even lead to loss of livelihood and reputation.

9. It promotes destructive practices and sexual perversions out there such as child porn, bestiality, necrophilia, rape and sadism and this in turn leads to increase of sexual crimes, human trafficking etc.

10. By viewing, the viewer supports this industry and facilitates its growth. The viewer also wittingly and unwittingly contributes to the sexual exploitation of whoever or whatever object he/she views.

We can no longer shy away from the realities of today by hiding our heads in the sand like Ostriches and hoping these things will go away.

We owe it to our young ones to educate them of the dangers that lurks in such habitual practice and hope that eventually, they will make the right choices.

Indeed, it is a danger in itself to allow them to flounder in their need to acquire information.

That’s it folks. I have said my piece and if I must say so, my digression from my initial assignment for my book, gave me quite an education. Maybe, as time goes on, we can explore ways that this habit can be broken.

Feel free to re-blog and share, you might be saving a soul 😉

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

 

 

Creative Writing · Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Love · Musings

God gave me something..

loveofgodHe gave us eyes, that we might behold the splendor of his creativity; That we might see each other beyond the peripheries of physical vision. Sometimes we look, but we do not really see.

He gave us mouth that we may praise him; That we may give voice to the thoughts of our hearts; That we may speak words that bring life, succor, strength; That we may speak words that edify.

He gave us ears that we may listen and understand; That we may hear and filter through the turbulence of life; That we may hear his voice whisper in our hearts, through the sights and sounds of the beauty that surrounds us.

He gave us heart that we may feel; That we may have a depth of emotions that understands, that loves, that empathizes, that endures. A heart that can be faithful, courageous and kind. May our hearts not harden that we lose every sense of love, of joy, of peace, of empathy and reason.gods-love never runs out

He gave us brain that we may reason with wisdom and understanding; That we may use the abundance of talents to his glory;That we may gain and disseminate productive knowledge.

He gave us hands that they be busy and not idle; That they are productive and profitable; That they are helping hands to raise up, to mold and not to push down.

He gave us legs that we may walk tall in Faith, Grace, Hope and Dignity; That we may stand tall in the face of adversity; That we may flee from dangers and issues that lead to destruction.

He gave us a fully functional body, in his image and likeness and for His Glory.

Today, I stand tall and proclaim that I am/You are/We are masterpieces of the ultimate craftsman; and nobody can tell me differently.

God gave me everything….

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Nota bene: Welcome to July 1st

Creative Writing · Inspiration - Motivation · Love

A sleepless night..

happy couple

She giggled softly, speaking in hushed tones as she ambled off to the restroom with her phone held to her ears.
Felix watched her vanishing back and swaying hips with a frown on his face. In the past few weeks, he noticed that Monica’s phone had been pinging and ringing off the hook; though it was now on vibration mode.
It went off every few seconds and she would rush to pick it up, finding an excuse to leave the vicinity for a private enclosure. She was not a phone addict before. Something had changed seriously. As a matter of fact, he noted that a whole lot had changed.
Her dressing was more careful, floral and feminine in newer outfits which accentuated her marginal weight loss and new shape. She preened more than ever and appeared far more confident in her own skin. These days, she barely bothered to argue with him and floated in a self-contained sheen of private satisfaction with a glint in her eyes.

As he reviewed the subtle but obvious changes, his thoughts twitched curiously. He was curious enough to want to know what Monica’s new source of change was. Her exuding radiance and delight in playing African hip-hop songs on her headphones which were on constant shuffle were all novel to him.

Flushing the toilet for the umpteenth time that Saturday afternoon, she stepped out, looked into the vanity mirror, patted her weave and teased her wavy curls into place.

“Are you having a bad tummy?” Felix asked.

“No, I am not”, she responded.

“You seem to spend so much time in the loo these days, that I wondered if something is wrong”, he pointed out.

She was a bit taken aback by his observation, but she kept quiet.

Right on cue, her phone went brr, brr in her pocket, though she chose to ignore it.

”If you can manage to peel yourself from your phone chatting for a short while, I am still hungry, so make me something to eat” he ordered her without as much as a please.

His curiosity was greatly piqued and the suspicion which had taken root in his mind was equally pulling at his heartstrings. He needed to get to the bottom of her infernal active phone.

As they retired to bed that night, he could barely shut his eyes, and as Monica snored in deep sleep, he sneakily unplugged her phone which was charging by her bedside and went into the restroom to peruse through it. To his surprise, it was locked. Disappointed and miffed, he returned it to her bedside but deliberately left it unplugged.

Sunday morning dawned with the brightness of the early morning sun streaming in through the window blades. As Monica got dressed to go to church with the children – since Felix had gradually stopped attending church service, it was a surprise to find him dressing up to go with them. It was either he chose to sleep in due to spending a late night out with friends or his new found scientific knowledge which had gradually overtaken his spiritual belief stood in his way and she was tired of fighting a battle that only seemed to widen the rift between them.

For over five years, she had looked on in envy at couples in church who seemed to be handling their union in a better fashion, even though she did not know what happened behind their closed doors.

She had prayed and fought to renew the vigor and excitement of their union but nine years of togetherness had lost its flavor and Felix was more interested in the young University girls who were never in short supply.

Another surprise followed the church service. He decided to take his family out for brunch at Symphony. Monica could not recall when last they dined out or went out together except for a family friends wedding or burial. Every time she made mention of time out with him, he would glower, remind her how difficult money was to come by, yet he was never broke on Friday night out with the boys. She gave up bothering after some time.

The constant little buzz of her phone which was lying on the table was driving needles of increased interest into Felix as he watched through lowered eyelids to see if she would open her phone so that he can phish her password, but she seemed less inclined to respond.

The dance of the snake and its charmer continued for several days and as each day passed Felix got more twisted in his gut with the burning desire to grab his wife’s phone. He noted minutiae details in her expressions and contorted meanings into every thing. He even started coming home a little earlier, hoping to catch her in the act of unfaithfulness as he was inclined to believe.

Eventually, he got lucky. Whilst she was in the kitchen preparing dinner, he lingered, commenting on the savory aroma emanating from the soup pot. Monica was unsettled, her mind was curious as to the turn of events in recent times. Felix would normally sit in the living room, flipping through the sports channels on TV, his feet put up on the center table and he will be bellowing his orders from that distance; but here he was, in her kitchen, making idle conversation. Her phone beeped, and she absentmindedly keyed in her password, it was her sister Benedicta calling for some information.

He had stored the password in his memory bank and that night as she slept, he sneaked once again into the restroom with her phone clutched in his clammy hands and his heart thudding faster than usual. His imaginations had run riot over these past few weeks, and he was not sure of what to expect, but he was fishing for sufficient evidence to nail her.

Opening her phone, he carefully scanned through her emails, her Facebook page and messenger, her Black Berry Messenger, WhatsApp, and text messages. It was a surprise to know that his wife had a twitter account, a Google+ account and instagram. He had no idea she was up to date with social media and he had practically forgotten how intelligent she was.

He wondered when his boring woman turned into a sexy mama when he looked at all the alluring pictures that she had on her pages. His eyes nearly popped out of its sockets whilst reading through the various chats that she had online with interested gentlemen.

Marveling at the obvious budding online romance she was having with a certain Jay Black; and Jay Black was a divorced handsome bastard with flat muscled abs to boot! His jealous heart felt twinges of pain and he bristled in anger. He couldn’t wait to attack her.

He quickly opened her online private diary and voraciously assimilated its contents.

He read her prayers for him and their children.

He read her doubts in him and her loneliness; not only when he traveled on business trips, but even when he was around.

He learnt how he was gradually letting go of his mantle as the spiritual head of his family and only shoved his position of the head of the family in making decisions that took them to nowhere, or in bossing her around.

He read her personal account of him as a selfish and lousy lover and her silent dissatisfaction over the years.

He learnt how neglectful he had been and how he had failed in providing for his family; not for want of not having the means, but due to his careless attitude.

He learnt that she was tired of a marriage that left her feeling as if she was a single parent most times and she only stuck to the union because she did not want to leave their children with the legacy of a broken home.

He learnt how deeply hurt she felt about all his extra-marital affairs that he thought were top secret.

It was a sober revelation and reflection.

He looked at who he had become and what would likely happen in a couple of years if they continued down that road.

The male ego part of him that bristled wanted to accuse her of dating online, of unfaithfulness, of cheating. A little niggling part of him reminded him how neglectful he had been. If the truth be told, how he had been a lousy husband and father.

He thought about his wife all over again, and knew that he still loved her. He did not want to lose his Monica to a fast talking Jay Romeo who sent her lovely poems and virtual flowers.

Rising from the toilet seat where he had sat for several hours, he stepped back into the carpet padded room, stood and gazed at his wife through the soft illumination of light coming from the restroom and heaving a sigh of pent-up emotions, he got back into bed and drew her malleable warm form into his body his mind made up to fall in love all over again.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

Hope · Inspiration - Motivation · Musings

Today’s two cents worth of a tip…

Fear-Quotes-30Throw that fear out of the window,
For all your breakthroughs are on the other side of your fear.

Throw that fear out of your window,
It only seeks to intimidate you and hold you in bondage.

Throw that fear out of your window, I say
You’ve come this far, don’t be afraid to take a step further.fear-quotes

Throw that fear out of the window,
It is just a shadow of a toothless bull dog, It cannot conquer you, just believe.

Throw that fear out of the window,
And don’t allow him back in,
You have been blessed with the spirit of love and of sound mind.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha