Wowee! This Party is Hopping!…

November 24, 2015November 24, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha30 Comments

Your delightful presence would be most welcome to a cosy dinner party that I am hosting.

You know how I love to liven things up and I can assure you that you will have a most relaxing and delicious experience.

I wouldn’t want to let too much cat out of the bag but I want to titillate your senses just a wee bit.

An exquisite and sumptuous banquet from top culinary artists will be laid out to feast on.

We would have the most entertaining dinner guests of the past few centuries, in the names of Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë, Ernest Hemingway, Leonardo Da Vinci, William Shakespeare, Wolfgang Mozart, Chinua Achebe and James Brown.

Da Vinci will be seated between Jane and Charlotte where he will spend the evening admiring their profiles and twiddling his thumbs in earnest desire to cast them into esteemed timeless art pieces like the Mona Lisa.

Shakespeare will be at one side of Jane where he will whisper naughty poetic nonsense to her and Jane will definitely reply him with Pride but without Prejudice.

James will ensconce himself beside Charlotte as well and listen to her tales of Jane Eyre and her enduring love for Rochester. He will do a little footwork under the table to her blushing chagrin and admiration.

Mozart will keep us entertained with his sublime piano concertos and intermittently, Ernest would recite his poetry’s that will make us feel intelligent and at peace.

Respected Achebe would recline in deep appreciation of his company while penning ‘So Long a letter’ to his pal Mariama Ba about how things seem to be coming together at my dinner party (and not falling apart like in his book ‘Things Fall Apart).

He would also emphasize on the fact that under my auspices, every one is now at ease and also not like in his novel ‘No Longer at Ease’ which had been written after a rather poor dinner outing with the Westerns 😉

RSVP as quickly as possible and do tell me you would grace us with your presence.

The Daily Post prompt Seat Guru

You get to plan a dinner party for 4-8 of your favorite writers/artists/musicians/other notable figures, whether dead or alive. Who do you seat next to whom in order to inspire the most fun evening?

Image credit: Zazzle.com

Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Love · Musings · The Daily Post · Writing

To A Dear Friend…

November 23, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha13 Comments

My dear best friend,

How ever could I have survived without you? I am sure that you are wondering that after all these years, I finally acknowledge the importance of your friendship above that of all those who have blood flowing in their veins.

You are inanimate, yet you stand strong. You neither disdain nor discard me. Always supportive with your constant non-judgmental ear and never have you tittle-tattled behind my back even when I have treated you so badly, crumpled you in annoyance and tossed you aside in utter disgust in moments of emotional turbulence. You are so trustworthy.

Each time you still accept my pick-ups without a word of complaint, soaking in the outpouring of my thoughts until I am drained and sated.

I know that sometimes you must be confused with all the different voices that races through your domain; the flighty, flirty and glamourous, the happy and sad, the joyful and sorrowful, the excited and dreary, the calm and crazy, the contented and disgruntled, the sexy and boring, the discombobulated and all the weirdos that I bring along.

You have caught my tears, held my laughter, my sighs and wishful thoughts. You have stoically shared my struggles, troubles and triumphs and only offered succour by serving up reminders of beautiful days past and a glimpse of finer days ahead.

What can I say dear best friend but thank you.

I sincerely appreciate you my dearest diary for keeping me sane all these years.

You and chocolate have been wonderful companions of mine over the years. Bearing my torture and sating my taste buds, you are truly the best team a girl can ask for.

Yours truly,

Your sometimes awesome, fabulous and crabby owner,

Jacqueline.

The Daily Post prompt Literate Today

Someone or something you can’t communicate with through writing (a baby, a pet, an object) can understand every single word you write today, for one day only. What do you tell them?

Image credit: Pinterest

Creative Writing · Fiction · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Short Stories · Writing

It’s Mating Season…

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha16 Comments

”Don’t look! Just don’t even give that proud, shameless peacock a chance to flutter his feathers and show off some more.” Rita cautioned herself.

”He is just making an ass of himself, prancing around for all the younger hair-brained peahens that go cooing all over him.” She grumbled.

Marcel was a true debonair of a peacock.

He knew how to strut and display his stuff.

The dating and mating season was fast approaching and he just has to attract the best of the peafowls as much as he could.

”What’s with Rita and her forbidding looks?” He clucked to himself.

”She is just being a goose and giving me the bad eye.” He muttered as he admired his brilliant feathers.

”I better get away from her sight to more appreciating admirers”, he trots off in the direction of the clucking, cackling and sighing impressionable peahens.

…and still Rita followed from a distant pace, her disdain dripping from every not so bright feather.

Inlinkz

In response to the FFfAW photo prompt above. Thank you Sonya for the photo and Priceless Joy for this challenge platform.

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post

Here, There and Where else?..

November 21, 2015November 21, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha38 Comments

This glitzy city of Dubai is growing on me in its own way and I think that it could probably burrow its way much more into my heart if the inhabitants looked less like they sucked on sour grapes half of the time.

Whats with all the serious look, that to wangle a greeting or a smile is almost like a visit to the dentist, where you reluctantly have to open your mouth?

Hard forbidding looks, frowns and cold stares are offered as if you would steal their smile or as if the smiles are worth pots of gold.

With a little more observation, I have found that the warmer ones around here are the Filipinos, who are quick to offer a greeting with a smile as they try to cajole you to patronize them.

They are closely followed by the Russian and Ukrainian ladies, then the Indian and Chinese who all want to make quick sales and who know that these foreigners visiting or living here might have a little extra cash at hand.

The Pakistanis are a bit rough around the edges, though their sleek tongued sales men are usually dressed more dapper in tight tailored to fit suits and Mohawk shaped crops gelled into place with enough fritz that the spikes will not even waver under a windstorm.

The Pakistani drivers hurtle down the highway at aggressive speed, hardly allowing you space to inch in on the road. They duly remind me of my Lagos brothers whose method of ‘shan’t gree’/not allowing you to enter the road, is similar to theirs.

The blacks around are as black as they come. The Ethiopians who are half wishing they are Arabs, therefore not quite sure whether they should fraternize with other blacks or not and then the hustling Nigerians who are looking for goods to ship back to an ever demanding and increasing consumer Nation of over 173 million.

It is an incredible potpourri of Nationalities and I am discovering them as I go on.

The rest of the crew are their usual lukewarm selves, neither cold nor hot, just pursed lips like people who have bad case of gas.

If I could spend my time equally divided between two places right now, I would choose my home’s in Houston, Texas and Lagos, Nigeria.

I miss both places, with severe doses of nostalgia sometimes, more so at this time of the year with the holidays floating in the air. I miss my friends in Houston, I miss the Texas Multicultural Women (a Non-Governmental Organization that I belong to), I miss my library runs, my parish – Christ The Redeemer, I miss school volunteer work, my quiet neighbourhood, the parks that were close to home and so much more.

There is no Christmas like that spent back in my native land in Nigeria. I miss the crazy hustle and bustle.

I miss the warmth of family, friends and even strangers alike. I miss the smiling faces and the loads of social events.

These pangs are not easy for me to capture in words.

The Daily Post prompt A Tale of Two Cities

If you could split your time evenly between two places, and two places only, which would these be?

A link to my neighbours/Community · Blogging · Creative Writing · Fiction · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Love · Short Stories Series

On The Prowl! Husband Wanted Urgently!…

November 21, 2015November 21, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha45 Comments

Tess sifted through dozens of photographs of possible date matches. It was a surprise to discover an entire World of supposed eligible bachelors out there.

Putting up her own profile was a task she hadn’t expected to be that demanding. Her attempt to make a headline grabber, the right smile, the right amount of information was not as simple as she had thought.

The increased pings of her messenger for her new dating account, increased her excited nerves even though she still had trepidation about the whole thing, especially with the list of do’s and don’ts Kate had mentioned to her.

It was almost beginning to sound like an espionage escapade.

”Make sure you have a pepper spray handy!”

”Set up a separate email account.”

”Don’t give out your address or house number.”

”If need be, invest in a stun gun!” ”What? I don’t want to go shooting anyone!” She had shrieked.

”Only meet them at a public place.”

”Use spiked drink detector nail polish, so you don’t find yourself suddenly floating along with all his requests.”

”Don’t allow kisses on the first date.”

”No going to apartments for a night cafe etc, etc.”

”Make eye contacts as you talk to him.” ”If they are shifty, don’t trust him!”

Blah, yadda, blah, blah..

Whats a girl’s to do when she needs to do to find her prince in these tough times, she thought to herself?

These days, the competition was stiffer.

The good guys were all grabbed and even a lot of very delicious looking ones were into other dudes.

She still recalled her utmost disappointment when she had moved in and met the very polite handsome Latino hunk of a male specimen living downstairs, Steve; he was equally taken by another interesting looking bloke!

This one doesn’t look so bad, she mused to herself as she stared at the face on her laptop. He had such a sincere, earnest, open look and not too bad looking as well. His bio also read well.

”Nothing ventured, nothing gained”, she muttered to herself as she clicked the button to initiate a chat.

”I cannot afford to live through the debacle of another uncoupled birthday with my folks.”

”I’d rather buy a ticket to Mexico than go through that embarrassing episode again.”

How could Mama invite Deaconess Elfrida’s son, Humphrey to pair up with me?

He is such a sanctimonious and pompous ass!

Auntie Virginia had kept rattling on and on in her persnickety high-pitched voice on ”Tips of how to catch a guy.” A most mortifying moment.

”Time for hair touch-up girl”, She thought, as she idly fingered her locks.

To be continued. Husband wanted urgently Part 1

This was meant to go out last week Saturday, but I couldn’t bring myself to send it out in the light of recent activities and in that time, I have found more gems in my neighbours garden. Do take a peek with me.

10 ways to be grateful even on bad days, found in the yadadarcyyada’s front lawn.

Vital security information for the holidays, by Tasha.

Shrimp Po Boys, from What’s for Dinner Moms?

Some sweet and Delicious chocolate cookies, from Lynz Real Cooking.

A beautiful read, the boy who dared to be great, from MLou.

A poignant civil war letter- found, in a corner of Elusive Tropes troves.

The simple truth handed by The adventures and musings of an Arch Druidess through the auspices of Sepultura’s blog

This quote shared by Meg Sorick reminds me of someone I know 😉

10 easy ways you can make the world a better place, by Danny of Dream Big, Dream Often.

Good budgeting tips here at how to stuff your pig, especially during holiday seasons when overspending tends to happen more.

It’s a wrap my good people. Let’s have a calm weekend shall we. God Bless and take care.

Image credit: Pinterest.

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Little rants · writing ideas

One-In-Town! Limited Edition!….

November 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha34 Comments

In my opinion, the dish washing machine producers simply didn’t think the production of this useful apparatus through when they were making it, except they indirectly created an automated cupboard for washed crockery.

It is really tiresome to engage in loading plates and off loading plates, then using the same plates within hours of washing and offloading and the hamster cycle continues.

My plates seem to live in the dishwasher more often than not except my fine china, which is brought out for auspicious August visitors and I dare say, that this is the case in a lot of homes.

With my tongue in my cheek, I know several African friends of mine whose dishwashers are mere items to decorate the kitchen and only put to use once in a while.

As a matter of fact, we actually end up washing the dishes ourselves and putting them on a plate rack to dry. Less trouble that way.

In that light, I am embarking on reinventing the dishwasher with an assistant attached to do the loading and offloading. Not that I am much of an inventor 😉

Who knows, I might come up with a fangled sophisticated new plate loader and off-loader.

Please queue up for your own limited edition of this one-in-town apparatus.

You can put down your name below, with required specifications and preferred colour 🙂

It’s first come, first serve basis!

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Monday, November 16

Pretending you have the expertise to make the product a reality, what do you wish you could invent?

image credit: gogobambini.com

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Musings · Writing

Wouldn’t you just love to have your own Jeeves?…

November 12, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha33 Comments

Let’s be honest with one another, if the truth be told, wouldn’t you want to have that magical Jeeves/Personal Assistant who will tackle those dreaded and impossible to delegate tasks that you are faced with?

Oh! I so would love me some Jeeves. Genie Jeeves would take care of my business in an efficient manner such as:

Exercising for me, and passing all the nicely contoured muscles to my body. He sweats it out while I shape up nicely and of course I would recline on a plush chaise-lounge like a rich Nabob eating whatever I liked without the repercussions of the weighing scale. How awesome would that be 🙂

My dear genie Jeeves, would write those bestseller stories and books running around in my head to a perfect T and as quickly as possible too, so that he can start selling and make me wads of money.

Genie Jeeves would read my tons of mail, weed out the unintelligent ones and pass the intelligent information that I need to know into my head.

All those boxes of knick-knacks that found their way into the house would be nicely sorted out, labeled, given away or whatever. Jeeves will take care of that mess.

Running all those distracting little errands that can cut into my precious “knowing me time’‘ would be up Jeeves alley.

…..Earth to Jacqueline, now stop the daydreaming and remember that wishes are not horses, so no ride for this poor beggar.

Let me keep staring out of the window as often as possible, hopefully, I just might catch a shooting star and make my wishes; you never know these things 😉

So, tell me, do you have any chores that you need sorted out?

I might just be in the mood to lend you my Jeeves when he arrives.

In response to NaBloPoMo – Thursday, November 12

If you had a personal assistant who would do your most dreaded tasks, which items from your to-do list would you assign out?

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You

Are you overlooking the Small Clay Pot?…

November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha13 Comments

Learning to cook started at a young age for me; not that I remember being asked 😉 it was just the way things were.

From assisting mother in the kitchen in preparation of all sorts, to going over during the holidays to help grandma prepare her classic agidi jollof/wrapped corn meal and oil bean flakes which we would also help her sell at the local market; commercial trading was also learnt in the bargain.

Naturally, as a young child and a bookworm, often, I would get distracted or sneak into the restroom to read a quick page of my fave of the moment and the quick page turned into several; meanwhile my absorbed mind has forgotten that I was meant to be watching the pot of beans and ensure that it didn’t burn.

Needless to say, it was usually the aroma of burnt offering that alerted my nostrils to the disaster on fire and mothers voice raised to power two exclaiming away “Hia! this child will not kill me!”

The burnt level of the beans knew many degrees and the instruction to wash that burnt pot until it was gleaming enough to show the reflection of your teeth was never a small task. It kept you on the straight and narrow corner of the kitchen for some good days 🙂

Yet mothers patience never gave up on us. She continued teaching and we continued attempting to kill her, but thankfully never succeeded and turned out to be responsible adults today.

Let me leave you with this African proverb:

“When you overlook the small clay pot, it will boil over and put off the firewood.”

This can be translated in so many ways, but a quick example is: when you overlook a small bad habit, it becomes a character trait.

Once again Oba thank you for extending this invite. I am enjoying it.

To participate in the 3 quote challenge, I would like to invite:

Obscurasomnia

Oneta

Tony Burgess

Good day and blessings.

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Love

How Many Hats Do You Wear, Mama Dear?…

November 11, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha51 Comments

Being a Mama confers on so many crowns of responsibilities and these multi-tasking are meant to be executed with your hands tied behind your back, your eyes closed, with loads of grace and as cool as a cucumber. Yeah right!

It is also to be done with a flourish of excellence while trying to get your own life somewhere in the mix of playing so many roles such as:

Chief Executive of the House (after the Chairman if there is one)
Chef to fussy clients.
Housekeeper
Taxi driver without any tips.
Peace broker
All teams cheerleader.
Professional anger management manager
Secret keeper
Hair stylist
Errand girl
Laundry machine operator
Security officer
Toy repairs specialist
Teacher
Financial Manager
Art director and Model too
Poop cleaner and potty trainer
Personal Assistant to all and sundry
Day care provider
Teeth inspector
PTA champion
All and sundry family therapist
In house doctor/nurse and bruise healer
The storyteller extraordinaire with singing talents
Sleep scientist and slayer of scary monsters under the bed
Hugging and kiss champion
Stain removal and mess packer expert
Prayer warrior
Events manager
Health and Safety supervisor

…….and the list goes on endlessly!

Sometimes, I am not quite sure whether the assignments the teacher gives in school is meant for the child or for me and to test my patience.

Now, let me go and put on my draughtsman, architect, site worker hat on! We (I and my young son) have to continue his new class project of building the Dubai’s Burj Al Arab with hardboard, tin foil, colours, glues and all sorts of fun stuff. He is the main director of this act.

Work in Progress, Burj Al Arab construction. Ha! ;-) — Work in Progress, Burj Al Arab construction. Ha! 😉

It took the builders 6 years to do the original building and now we are expected to get our replica done in a few days.

As you can see from the picture by the side, it is work in progress and we are making a mangled mess of it (but having fun though).

Let’s hope it turns out fair at the end of this patience inducing exercise and then I can continue building my blog.

Enjoy the multi-tasking hats that motherhood confers on you.

How many hats do you wear so far?

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Wednesday, November 11

What was the last thing you fixed or built?

Blogging · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post

Sugar Rush Buried in the Pages of a Delightful Book!….

November 9, 2015November 9, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha52 Comments

Hmm! Guilty Pleasures! Just saying the words alone causes a glazed look to appear in my eyes and a nice zing of dopamine rush to my brain.

I do have a good number of those sinful gratifications hiding away in my closet, under my pillow and all around me and I wonder why I should feel guilty for something that I rightfully own and enjoy.

“Would spending so much on books count?”

“What of lovely, silky unmentionables?”

“A spa treat, is healthy isn’t it?” “Just think about professional hands kneading those aching muscles and massaging that scalp…..delightful right?”

…and those shoes? If your feet don’t run in the dainty feet department where all the best shoes seems to go, you will understand the constant battle not to grab all the lovely shoes that you find in your size.

Sweet cravings are my rapturous indulgence. I could sneak in a decadent box of Swiss chocolates with an intention to have only a morsel or two. That is fooling myself and a story for the laughing Gods. With my nose buried in a delicious read, the box is as sure as gone. The burst of pleasure on my tongue was worth every measure 😉

Those sinful Cold Stone creamery, Dairy Queen, Haagen Daz cookies and cream ice-creams that tend to beckon to me when I am walking peacefully down the aisle are a bit problematic too.

You can almost hear the Dairy Queen go “Psst! Hey! Jackie this way, look am a new flavour.”

It is really a herculean feat to peal my eyes away from their pleading eyes and walk sedately to the counter, then comfort myself for being so strong by buying the smallest Twix bar available.

I have simply learnt to remove the guilt from the pleasure by practicing the virtue in moderation but not to indulge? Ha! That’s almost impossible.

Oh shush! Don’t go judging me. I know all about yours too!

The Daily Post No Apologies

What’s the one guilty pleasure you have that’s so good, you no longer feel guilty about it?