We are trying too hard. We are not trying hard enough.
At certain points reminders of where one failed or didn’t get it right pops up.
The usual nag of the annoying voice even sometimes says ‘why bother?’ Since we can’t have what we want instantly; better jobs, excellent health, abs to die for, a wonderful partner, more money, fame, fabulous lifestyles and the whole nine yards – since it is life in the digital century – we feel deflated and defeated.
The inner critic hoots and snickers and smirks at our ambitious attempts to set those 30 years worth of resolutions aright.
…But hang on! Just wait a minute. Why the fall backs, the lapses, the frustration, the giving in and giving up, most especially with our New Year resolutions?
I have spent weeks dwelling on the concept of resolution. What it entails and I am sure there is so much to think about, in respect of this concept.
At the on-set, we set off all gung-ho, with sufficient zeal to launch a new float on River Thames, but just before the clock says quarter past on the years calendar, our zeal is at half-mast, deflated or totally gone and negativity sets in. ‘A vicious cycle.’
It dawned on me that the fact of the new way of life, which is the instant gratification of going for something and getting it hot and delivered and with the release of attendant happy endorphin, we drive ourselves round the bend, burning ourselves with the pressure to succeed and when the expected success doesn’t arrive fast enough, the resultant feeling of failure sets in.
Failure is a two way wrench. It either tightens one to push harder to excel, or it deflates one to give in and give up.
I came to understand that the problem lay not in the setting of the goals, but in the perspective of approaches in achieving these set goals. They are seen as something that should be done, dealt with and then we move on to the next acquisition.
However, if we begin to view these goals as lifetime goals to be inculcated and maintained, would our perspectives and approach differ? Would we stick to the plan a wee bit longer and not say, ‘oh well’ I will try and set better resolutions again next year.
We do know that Life does not happen in quarterly allocations but a cumulative result of each day and how we live it.
So, what is it going to be? New Year Resolutions or Lifestyle Solutions?
A striking of balance that stretches over time, or temporal instant gratifications that nose-dive once the spirit flags?
I choose the balanced Lifestyle Solutions that allows for the ebbs and flows of the days of our lives.
DO NOT base your Lifestyle solutions on that tailored for someone else.
That will simply run the copy-cat ragged, especially if the vision pursued is neither yours, nor does it resonate with you.
Taking the time to determine what truly reflects what I want to see in my life, is a journey worth undertaking on a daily, weekly, monthly basis and not just a list of hopeful aspirations which are drawn out on the 31st of December of each year, run after for a few good weeks and then shoved into the cabinet to get moldy or to serve as a nice place for the spiders to weave their web, once the veneer of The New Year wears off.
Here is to better Lifestyle Solutions and a brilliant 2016. Cheers.
‘Blessed are you, awesome people.’
© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha.
That’s a really great tip. MAke it a daily goal. =)
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I really think it makes the goals easier to achieve. Thank you Gilian. Happy New Year 🙂
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Great post!!
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Thanks love. Happy New Year 🙂
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Happy New Year to you 😘
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I like your thinking here. The only resolution I kept was the one that said I’d not make any more NY resolutions ! ☺
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Great job! You’re right a lifestyle solution is a much better option then a goal we quickly try to achieve and fail.
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I also realized that making them lifestyle solutions keeps it more likely that those positive traits gradually imbibed becomes a characteristic of the person.
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Reblogged this on Mysticalwriter and commented:
This is a wonderful blog to read. There is a lot truth here. Original blog by acookingpotandtwistedtales.com
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Great post that makes good sense 🙂
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You are so right. My physical therapy is showing me that I can’t stop working as soon as I feel better!
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It truly is a continuous process.
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Great read!
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That’s a really good way of looking at it…that mindset would certainly be more beneficial for the needed motivation to keep going even after failure.
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Yes indeed because there are some days that the zeal is simply low so we pick up from where we fell off.
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New Years resolutions never have worked for me. It took thirty annual attempts to stop smoking. 🙂
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I no longer bother with it. It never gets past March, but my daily and weekly approaches have worked better for me.
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I like that idea, Jacqueline. It’s similar to the ‘one day at a time’ philosophy of the anonymous groups.
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Our habits are built day by day. We must resolve each day, not simply on the first of the year. Great post!
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Yes indeed. Thank you very much 🙂
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A much better idea. Lifetime goals – because really the goals that are most important will take a lifetime to achieve.
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Very true Bernadette. Happy New Year and a fabulous 2016 to you 🙂
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I agree with lifestyle resolutions. I practice them daily and allow my failures to become success stories. I haven’t practice New Year’s resolutions since I can’t remember. Great post dear! Continued blessings, Emma
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It’s always better day by day. Thanks my dear Emma 🙂
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Great post for the approaching new year. I featured you in my Tuesday Chatter Event. http://amanpan.com/2015/12/30/tuesday-chatter-8/. Happy New Year a little early!
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Thank you my dear friend. Happy New Year too 🙂
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Hi Jackie,
You’ve put a good thought in my head. Yes, my masterplan for the things I want to achieve will be doable if I break them into daily plans.
Thank you! 🙂
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I have found them easier that way and more effective than lumping a plan together. It tends to look cumbersome. You are welcome dear 🙂
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I guess because of the cultural influences growing up, News Years Resolutions was not a thing in the household. I think this is one of the reasons I have small goals set for various parts of the year. Even if I do not complete these goals, I know I attempted them not based on a trend because it was important and necessary.
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I totally agree with you. It shouldn’t be a fad.
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So true…
— http://www.pofoundetry.com
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Thank you very much 🙂
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I KNOW you’re going to have a brilliant year!
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Jacqueline, Your post is brilliant. I read about setting daily goals in several self help books , but your choice of words, the description and the solution seem so lyrical. It’s as if I’m listening to a motivational song. Good luck with your lifestyle solutions.
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They really work if I may say so myself and it seems less cumbersome to set daily targets. Thanks once again Jahnavi. I wish you the best of luck in your lifestyle solutions as well 🙂
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This is a great idea to help us to have something to work towards every day. It would certainly keep up our motivation for living =)
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Totally right 😊
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I like that “Life’s solutions”. Resolutions are so ladt year indeed. All the best in 2016.
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You too 🙂
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Reblogged this on David Snape and Friends.
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My total appreciations David 🙂
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That’s alright 😃
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This is a awesome post. Thank you for sharing these life tools and tips. I will definitely hang on and try to use the “Failure two way wrench” to my advantage 🙂 .
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Thanks a lot too. That’s the idea. Good luck with it 😊
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Reblogged this on Teachezwell Blog and commented:
Jacqueline has captured a lot of wisdom here. Living in the moment, not deceived by the lures of fame and glory, but seeking a lifestyle of living with integrity. Good words to live by.
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Thank you so much for the generous reblog 😊 My appreciations.
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You’re welcome! Love your blog!
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