Tag Archive | PTSD

As It Is..personal

Sometimes, to elevate the mind
out of the miry bog of poor thoughts
takes every ounce of energy
that we have.

Eye Shading, Dark

I’ve struggled this past week to get out of the nebulous state of my mind, to endure the flaring pain of Fibromyalgia and annoying flu that has me fatigued in all sorts of ways.

I try not to center my posts and my life on the malaise that I struggle with especially Fibromyalgia and Post traumatic stress disorder because I am not my pain.

Secondly, it’s difficult talking about invisible ailments to others, especially when some are busy looking for how to undermine other peoples challenges.

I choose not to make these things the focal point of my existence because they are not and no, I am not in denial. No matter how much these issues strive to take a lot of my attention and even when I am walking ball of pain, I choose not to indulge in any form of a pity party but face anything as it is and to keep searching for ways to overcome.

My blog space has been silent, but my mind has been a battlefield. I needed all my energy to pull myself up by the bootstraps.

Jacqueline

 

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Dark nights – Friday Fiction in Five Sentences.

Image result for a man smoking in the dark

Mark sat in the dark smoke-filled room, the only light came from the red glow of his cigarettes.

Silent nights were his worst companions but he couldn’t stand the meaningless drone of the TV, where everyone looked cheerful and conversed with the ease of those who led normal lives. He hated the silent nights.

PTSD. That was what the doc said. PTSD. An easy blanket name used to describe his postwar struggles, and a handful of prescription that didn’t take away the recurring booms of explosives, the pungent stench of charred human bodies, the severed limbs, and the blood; so much blood.

The heroes welcome had been short-lived, for in the land fit  for heroes there’s hardly any jobs for those like him and he wished he was back in Afghanistan, where he knew his place.

Now, he just didn’t know himself anymore.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

 

Meet the inspiring, intriguing and warm Lady Alexis Rose.

One of my objectives as a blogger is not just to write for others to read, but to equally get to connect and know who my friends in this space are. I’ve been following Alexis Rose for quite a while now and have not only enjoyed our interactions but she amazes and inspires me with her confidence, resilience, and candour.

Dear Alexis, thank you for taking the time to indulge my inquisition. My kind regards and I look forward to seeing your continued bloom and success.Thank you

1. Introduce yourself, your background, your likes, dislikes and general outlook towards life.

Thank you, Jackie, for this wonderful opportunity to be interviewed for your blog. I have followed you since I began blogging and so impressed by the myriad of topics you cover. I have enormous respect for the ways you build community in the blogging world.

My name is Alexis Rose and I’m from Minnesota, which is in the Midwest of America. My state is called the land of 10,000 lakes and it’s beautiful. Freezing in the winter, hot and humid in the summer. I moved here when I was in my late teens and set down deep roots. I have two wonderful children, and we’re excited to see our son get married in just 5 short months. I thought I would have a difficult time being an empty-nester, but we see our kids often and have a close relationship with both of them and their significant others. Alexis Rose 1

Up until 2009 I had a good career in the field of staff recruitment and marketing. I loved my job and was getting to a point in my career where I felt as if I could exhale a bit when it came to financial security. In October of 2009 sparked by a family tragedy, I began having flashbacks, although, I didn’t know they were flashbacks at the time. I had purposely repressed my past, but when my snow-globe world was shattered, I began to piece together, for the first time, a personal history of abuse and trauma.

While learning to live with the effects of my trauma, and working with the deficits arising from the post-traumatic stress disorder, I have co-authored three inspirational books and published my memoir one year ago.

Alexis Rose 2My outlook towards life in one of hope. I am passionate about living life, not just going through the motions, however, that looks for a person. For me, it means living with my eyes wide open. I absolutely love people and human nature, I love all critters (we live with a dog and two cats) and feel best when I’m outside in any kind of nature. I think I was meant to live in the tropics because I thrive when it’s hot and humid.

2. Tell us about your blog and your purpose for starting it. Did you have any set goals in mind when you were setting up your blog? What do you think about the blogging phenomenon itself?

What has your blogging experience being? Here, you can share some links of your top posts or blog posts that you particularly like with us.

My blog is named Untangled, https://atribeuntangled.com/

I’m an active blogger who writes about PTSD, Mental Health, Trauma, with some inspirational poetry sprinkled in along the way. I started my blog after publishing my memoir. I was told that I had to have a blog to market my book. I had absolutely no idea what a blog was, except a way to communicate with family when someone was on a trip. I had never clicked on a blog, and had never heard of WordPress, had no idea what a tag was, or how to follow someone. Last October, was the first time I wrote a post. After writing my first post, and having someone “like, and follow my blog” I began to research how to tag, find other blogs to read, and engage in the blogging world.

Now, as I reflect on the last eight months of blogging, I’m grateful for the connections I’ve made. I love to follow blogs in all genres. Although my intention with my blog is to start and keep the conversation going about PTSD, or any other chronic illness, as well as share my poetry, I’m open and excited to be followed and follow blogs that write about every subject. I love to read about other people’s interests and viewpoints. I love to see the photos, read the poems, recipes, opinions and editorials. I absolutely love the connections that blogging provides.

I am thrilled to read and write on someone’s blog or have them write on mine from all the world. It makes the world a bit smaller as we are able to connect with each other. The reality of knowing that I am responding to someone who is already a day ahead of me, by virtue of time zones is amazing to me. I am part of their past, they are part of my future and yet we are talking to each other in real time. I LOVE that!!

As you can tell, my blogging experience has been amazing. Here are a few posts to click on to get a flavor of what I post:

Monday Mantra

Wait, What? I still have PTSD?

As She Dances the Steps of Innocence

The Value of Friendship

3.Take us with you on a typical day spent with you. Show us a bit of your World and yes we love photos of your pets if you’ve got any.

Most days start with working out, yoga, or meditating. I do marketing for two different businesses’ part-time, as well as try to market my book, and I’m only cleared to work two hours a day (part of the living with the effects of PTSD) so I divide my mornings into working. Then I take my dog, Leilani for a walk. She is my unofficial/official therapy dog and I don’t know what I would do without her. She keeps me grounded, knows what to do if I begin to have a flashback and is always by my side. I’m including a picture of Leilani and our cat, Brad.Alexis Rose 3

During the summer, autumn and spring, I try to spend as much time as possible outside, so I typically take a break during the day and spend time on our deck with the critters. Depending on the time of year, my symptoms can be a lot more prevalent, so I need to pace myself, and stay grounded. I make sure I see friends throughout the weekdays too. I have a wonderful support system of people who check on me, make sure I get out of the house for hikes, walks, lunches dates, etc.

I try every day to make time to read other people’s blogs. I believe that blogging is a two-way commitment. If I’m following someone I read what they write. It’s why we blog, so other’s will read our words. I try to engage as much as I can with comments, but I will typically always “like” someone’s post. I want them to know I am reading their words and they are being heard.

4. What’s the next pit-stop for your blog’s outreach and publishing? Any plans in the offing? You can also share some of your published works here.

I love the blogging world, and I get tremendous fulfillment from writing and sharing my posts. I still have a twinge, of fear each time I hit the publish button. Will my writing be interesting to others, will my poetry and/or writing resonate with others? I’m still not quite as confident I would like to be. I write from a vulnerable and honest place, so sharing that with the world and opening myself up is really difficult, but I’m determined to keep a conversation going about living with PTSD, and I’m passionate about dispelling some stigma behind the mental and chronic illness.

I will also continue to market Untangled on my blog. I love that my book has been read not just by the mental health community but cut across all genres of readers and I believe that is because of my blog.

I’m going to begin writing another book in September. I can feel another book bubbling out of me, and I’m compelled to honor that feeling. Besides Untangled, I have collaborated on three other inspirational/spiritual books, but they are currently unavailable on Amazon. I love all my books, but Untangled is my heart. It’s my memoir, and that book has given me gifts of healing, connection, and hope beyond my wildest dreams. Here is a link to Untangled.

I appreciate it when someone purchases my book, reads it, gives me feedback, and writes reviews on Amazon. I wish I could thank each person when they buy my book. Although, because of the wonderful world of blogging I’m able to thank many people when they reach out to me after reading it.

https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-story-resilience-courage-triumph/dp/1514213222

https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-story-resilience-courage-triumph-ebook/dp/B013XA4856

Suicide and the Artful Mastery of Self-Deceit – Stream of consciousness Saturday.

It was startling and extremely disheartening to learn that a friend’s husband committed suicide three days ago. He shot himself and it wasn’t by mistake. It was a premeditated action.

To say the least, my mind meandered from pillar to post. I couldn’t even begin to fathom the horror his wife and daughter must be living through. I couldn’t even begin to think of how brokenhearted they must be.SoCS badge 2015

It’s a nightmare that never goes away. The questions of ‘why’ will forever dance around in their heads. The first question that popped into my mind was equally why and the second question as foolish as it might sound was ‘how did he get a gun?’ 

Guns are not easily obtained back home in Nigeria and I have only ever had a gun close to me when armed robbers pointed it to my head and I found myself staring into the nozzle of the gun and praying as fast as I could in my mind.

Jokes apart, I stared my death in the face and I grew cold. I know that it’s Grace and Mercy that saved me. That Grace and Mercy stopped the robber from going trigger happy and coldheartedly shooting me.

In my ruminations, I realised that for a partner or anyone to decide to take his/her life then their sense of despair must have been horrendously hopeless. It’s just sad. It also makes me realise that a lot of artful concealing of emotions and self-deceit must have played a role until things got out of control.

The worst deceit that one can indulge in is the artful deceit of self. Indulging in such cover-up cheats one of the ability to be true to themselves and to reach out for the help they need. The saying ‘fake it until you make it,’ has always made me ask the question, to what extent should someone fake it until they have to pause and take stock of their fakery?

How long should one walk around wearing an artfully decorated mask that smiles, laughs, chit-chats and conceals the pain going on behind their mask? There are days that I felt a small wild animal growling in my head about one thing or the other but yet, I apply my gloss, wear my glad rags and get on with my to-do list like the World is all bright and beautiful. However, I’ve learnt to express and share my emotions when I feel overwhelmed and it’s not only cathartic to do so, but also offers the opportunity to hear good counsel as well.

Here was an upwardly mobile young man, who by all appearances had things going well for him, but for some reason, his thoughts fell apart to such an extent that he felt suicide is the only way forward. If he had sought help is it possible that he wouldn’t have resorted to this?

In core African societies, mental ill health is grossly overlooked and neglected and it’s almost seen as a taboo to insinuate that a person has Bipolar disorder or PTSD. Its results are far-reaching though suicide is not particularly a common phenomenon possibly due to the strong social and family system in existence, nonetheless, the dearth of professional care in this regards especially with the increasing level of stress and societal dysfunction in our present World makes this a cause for concern.

SOC’s prompt for this week coincided with my thoughts on the art of masking emotions based on the suicide incident.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


P.S. You are cordially invited to our monthly blog party happening right now. Join in through this link.

Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha’s poems portray images that stare us right in the face. Images of love, joy, death, pain, challenges, violation, and freedom. She writes in a language that’s rich in imagery, earthy, honest, vulnerable, yet full of the promise of hope, of loving and of Grace. A collection of light and dark soulful prose.

Featured Posts 91 – Share your posts.

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Do step in and show some love.

Booktubing a whole new world: have you been booktubing? Have you given it a try? This could prove to be another wonderful way of promoting your book. Look in and see.

The black wall blog: a beautiful blog that talks about PTSD, depression, panic, anxiety, inspiring posts and helping each other along. Say hello

Perfectionism is my enemy: are you playing the perfection game? How much has it paid you?

These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we’ve done.

You can teach a dog: Lydia’s honest short post is really food for thought. We can learn and unlearn and empower ourselves in the right manner no matter how much dirt has been thrown on us in the past. Do peek in.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

P.S. Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together.’

P.S: You can join our online party this weekend. It’s always a good time:-)


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Stars, Five Stars, Logo, Icon, Symbol, Five, Rating

Wonderful, evocative poetry by a talented writer. Left me hungry for more. Jacqueline can write! Linda Bethea

Out of the silent breath

If you enjoy my works and would like to do so, you can fuel my creativity with a slice of cake or coffee😉

Featured Posts # 82…Share your posts.

1456149614808[1]

‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Do step in and show some love.

The pain collector: a captivating short read that leaves you with strong images and emotions running through your mind. Sobering, sad, painful, intense…we know people like this or we might even be living like this. Worth the read.

Hope: how does one hold on to hope while wading through PTSD, D.I.D and the confusion that surrounds us? A thoughtful read.

Purpose: Stella’s words are certainly a good pick me up to start your day with following the quote below. Take a peek.

Struggle through honest channels to achieve satisfying success.

Let your purpose in life be one that includes you, making yourself happy. Let your purpose be to touch lives in a positive manner even if it means giving a warm sweet smile to those who cross your path.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

P.S. Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together.’


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Stars, Five Stars, Logo, Icon, Symbol, Five, Rating

“Beautiful Poetry of Life and Love.” Amanda

Out of the silent breath

The wanting…Friday fiction in five sentences.

She was just tired of being rejected and tired of feeling hungry. No one wanted to employ a disturbed woman, no job lasted long enough.

She was tired of living and feeling like a slob and simply wanted to feel good and look good like everyone else.

The handout that she received was barely anything to get by, that the thought of living and walking the streets began to look appealing, but she needed the right clothes to attract customers.

Stepping into the changing stall, she layered up on several items of the boutiques clothing and headed for the exit.

The shrill beep of the alarm sent the security scurrying forward as they matched her into a room for further investigation.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

She is amazing at describing love and life in her poems. She creates such beautiful images with her words. Truly, she is a talented writer and I’m so excited to have her poetry book and to continue reading through it.

 

Out of the silent breath