Personal · The Daily Post · Writing

My Writing and me…Personal

Like most humans, I’m multi-layered like an onion and beneath each layer is a different facet of me, but the thing is that every part of me is held by one thing and that’s my writing.Writing_beauty[1]

My restless spirit finds peace and rest through my fingers. My thoughts are better articulated, processed and understood and my pain is dealt with through the words that pour into my soul.

Writing fuels my creativity. Writing is a stabilizer for me and is a compulsion that I am drawn to on a daily basis. As melodramatic as this might sound, writing surpasses a desire but becomes a self-expressing way of being.

You can very well say that writing is my raison d’être and that’s the truth.

I am a better human, a kinder person due to writing. It takes stress off me. Nothing else under the surface of Earth brings me the cathartic satisfaction that writing gives to me. Nothing!

I am a better wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, lover, thinker, neighbour, teacher…. all due to writing. It took a while to correlate my periodical crankiness and my writing. When my spoken expression is at sudden loss, my fingers don’t fail me and I always feel out of sorts as if something is seriously wrong when I don’t write. It gives me pause to appreciate the beauty of life and all that surrounds me.

I have oscillated from different things over time, but my scribbles remain a constant which goes way back to as long as my conscious mind can remember. I fell in love with words at a very early age and that love keeps going strong and I daresay that if you are a writer, you need no one to tell you.

Encapsulating it, writing is a love of my life that no one can take away from me. A sacred place that gives me enough reason to hope, a sense of purpose and the audacity to dream vividly.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Raison d’être, The Daily Post Prompt


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Dance to your heart’s delight my African child, until echoes of your stamping feet, beating heart; bright eyes, smiling lips; and waving hands, resonates over and over like thunder claps, reverberating throughout the Universe.

Just dance.

Life · Midnight motivation and musings · Self Help

Midnight Motivation and Musings # 75…

Who_are_you[1]

Who are you?

This singular question is one that throws a lot of people off balance and they begin to grapple for adequate answers.

Who are you is not necessarily synonymous with ‘what do you do?’

You could do many different things career-wise over  your lifetime, yet remain who you are if those things don’t have any profound effect in changing your intrinsic characteristics.

Are you able to denude yourself by peeling away all the onion layers to find the truth of the being hidden inside?

Our passion can help us uncover who we are as it leads us on the journey of self-discovery, however, our passion can also serve as a mask for not looking deep enough to gain a better understanding of who we are.

It’s only when you know yourself, that you begin to know your purpose.

Keep pondering over this question as often as possible in the solitude of your heart until who you are, crystallizes before your eyes.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Midnight motivation and musings

Midnight Motivation and Musings # 62….

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A lot of times, pursuing our passion will take a whole lot of our hearts, heads and everything else that we’ve got to give and this is mostly where the challenge lies.

In as much as money makes things easier, money has never stopped a man whose driving aspiration consumes him. They will always find a way to chase it with their zeal.

Often times, we are not ready to make the commitment that such aspirations require and we mask our inabilities by using very legitimate reasons. Other times, doubt may erode our dreams and they die a painful death never having been birthed.

You’ve got to deal with the doubts.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Creative Writing · Fiction · Short Stories

The Marriage…Friday’s fiction in five sentences.

It was the perfect wedding. The sun had shone just at the right proportion. The storybook garden where they shared their vows was dreamy. Everything was as it should be. Sublime.

Yet Cecilia felt some restlessness in her spirit. Helmut is a perfect match. Mother loved him very much and approved of him. Even her picky friends liked him well enough. They considered him the dashing, wealthy European.

Their marital vows felt like a constriction to her vocal chords. She shook off the inner voice and focused on the sizzle. She loves Helmut, he’s a passionate lover and even as every cell in her body screamed ‘don’t‘ she said I do.

It didn’t take a long time for her to realize that the marriage was a huge mistake.

Helmut’s perceived candour turned to blunt cruelty. His passion became an obsession. He smothered her to death.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Image credit..pixabay

 

Challenges · Fiction · Short Stories

Need For Speed…

Linda knew Scott was visiting again. It took her a while to understand Jack’s  excited reactions whenever he ran to the closed garage door and made those noises while thumping his tail.

Scott loved to race and she hated it with a passion. Every time the racing circuit was on, she developed ulcer from anxiety.

She begged him to stop, but he said that the speed got his adrenaline pumping. He simply couldn’t stay away from the tracks.

She remembered that day with vivid clarity. Her bad feeling made her ask him not to go, but he waved off her fears with his boisterous, full of life laughter.

The nightmare unfolded before her eyes as she stood by the bylines watching cars careen out of control, the screeching tires, the scrunch of metal and the pile-up.

Scott died. His speeding days forever silenced, but everyday he is back, tinkering with his old clunker that he first started racing with.

She thought that his fatal attraction would have faded after everything that happened, but his passion seemed incurable.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Inlinkz

In response to the FFAW photo prompt above. Thank you Pixabay for the photo and Priceless Joy for this enchanting platform

Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream · Writing

If Tomorrow Comes…personal

Recently, I had a chat with a friend and we spoke about passion. Since we had that chat, I have been mulling over bits and pieces of our conversation and chewing on the fat of things.Chase the vision

During our chat, she did not out-rightly deride my passion about writing and public speaking, but in her opinion, she thinks that it should be classified as a hobby, since I was not yet making pots of money from either.

In her eyes, I was not yet a serious writer because there is no World acclaimed bestseller title under my belt.

As far as she is concerned, I am writing just for the pleasure of writing. At this point I had my tongue in my cheek trying to rein myself in from saying the first thought that fleeted through my mind, which was @#$#$%$##%!

Calmly, I asked her how much pleasure she was deriving from her work?

If she was that ecstatic about it, why is it that she moans over her job every time we speak, wishing she had the funds to take a bold step away from the rat race bandwagon.

She had wished over a 1,000 times that she had the guts to pursue her desires to own an events management outfit, but like I had equally given myself the leeway of excuses in the past, she had a million reasons why she couldn’t get started in that direction.

I asked her what her plans were in the immediate, interim and long term, towards achieving her goal, but to my surprise, she had made absolutely no concrete plans in the realization of her dreams.

.And she calls me a dreamer!

Her hope is that tomorrow will come armed with all that she would require to achieve her dreams and build her castles in the passing wind.

I told her that ”Tomorrow will never come if we don’t get hold of today!”

I now cheekily told her that I am absolutely pleased with what I am doing at the moment and though I did not give her a detailed breakdown, I drew a sketchy idea of my writing prospects and aspirations which I believe will come to pass even if it delays.

In the meantime, I told her that I was willing to make certain sacrifices to achieve my dreams, since I had also learnt that some of the material expenses which we load on ourselves were absolutely unnecessary. We can live very well without some of these things for as long as is necessary.

I have heard tales and jokes of hungry artists/writers. I have heard about all the hard mental work endured for passion in return of peanuts.

Then again, I have heard and have experienced first hand, the irrefutable, bone deep pleasure that a true writer derives from answering their call and I then realize the true meaning of the morbid African proverb which says that”we cannot because of the fear of death avoid going to war, if that war means that we get to live the life that we deserve.”

In some ways, she was right that I am not yet making anything out of my vision and dreams.

Now, it is time to write the vision, take the vision and run with it.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Blogging · Personal story · Quotes For You

Blogging Dividends…personal

The measurement of success varies from one individual to the other and for me, mine is measured by the amount of positive pleasure that is derived in the pursuit of my passion.Dividend

For a whole lot, their success may only be cached on how much money is lining their pockets and if that is the case, then that deep satisfaction and contentment that comes from the unquantified simple things of life will continue to remain elusive in the never-ending need to make an extra buck.

Even though it’s a fact that one must earn a living however, one’s success should not only be determined by the yardsticks of the greenback.

The past fortnight have been such bloggisatisfying time for me that I kept going to bed each night with a wide smile pasted on my face.

It first started with Ben Huberman sending me a very polite and surprising mail inviting me to participate in contributing a theme/prompt for the just concluded poetry class and believe me when I say that my heart expanded in extra warmth.

I had not planned to take the class initially, but I am so delighted that I did and yes, I feel proud to have had my prompt chosen and even if such an opportunity never arises again, this was a big bolster for me, so I am preening. Thank you.

Then Carlos a darling blogger sent me a surprise letter which brought tears to eyes and my heart expanded some more.

In no way did I know that those little words that I kept sharing with him had such meaningful impact enough to warrant taking the time to write me a special letter.

This totally reminds me of these quotes: “Encouragement is said to be the oxygen for the human spirit. Do not forget you are carrying someone’s air with you. Encourage them. Help them breathe” – anonymous.

”Make someone smile whenever you can. You never know how much of a difference you could be making in their life at that moment.”

It’s me Saraa topped my weeks sweetness with her own ration of surprise sprinkles and I continued to smile.

And to complete my harvest of smiles, few weeks ago at the neighbourhood cafe, I met Lara, a lovely, smiley Filipino lady with whom I had a brief chat when I was busy scribbling and tapping away seriously on my laptop.

She struck a conversation asking me what I was working so intently on. I told her that it was my blog and she requested for the name, which I scribbled on a scrap of paper and gave to her.

Believe me when I say that I never thought that she would even bother. I just thought that she was being polite and that the scrap of paper would be lost even before the ink dried.

Well, I ran into her once again today and with smiles dotting her entire face she walked up to me and said Miss Jacqueline, I have been reading your blog.

You write and rhyme so well. I enjoy reading your blog in the evening. I am following you now and sent you an FB request.

I quickly checked my FB request status which has close to 200 or more requests yet to be answered *covering my face* and I accepted her request right there and then, but I simply felt like I had won some pretty penny.

We chit-chatted some more and I think I hummed back to my house or should I say tweeted back to my house in utter pleasure.

There you have it. I have seen a lot of magic and earned a lot of satisfaction this week. A good evening to you from Dubai.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Weave that Dream

The Pianist…

The beautiful, haunting chords of music floated into the night sky. They gripped my heartstrings with their mesmeric and tranquil melody.

This has become my new opium of choice. I went to sleep and woke up with the tunes on constant replay in my head. My sleep was sound and my dreams were blissful. I had taken to humming the tune unconsciously even as I clattered away rapidly on my word processor at work. I was having a love affair.

I took to sitting on the bench under the Maple tree by the Hudson river walk path, right beneath the line of sight of his apartment window, where I permitted the poignant tale by music to soak into my dry, love parched heart. Even my pooch’s ears always twitched in appreciation.

The dips and high notes told a story of strength, of sadness, enduring love and passion.

I didn’t know who the pianist was, but for several weeks, Bella and I would take our walk down to the bay-side just to listen to the love notes of his talented fingers; his music a balm to my bruised soul.

It happened to me by chance. Falling in love with an unseen stranger.

I had grown bored of my usual walk route, my restless spirit decided to try the less trodden river path.

The depth of feelings which emanated from the music that floated down sounded like a version of Marvin Gaye and Barry White blues rolled into one. It was smoky, dreamy, deep and satisfying. I was hooked. Bella yipped softly along to this pure sound of music, her little tail stuck in the air. We were both lovestruck as silent unbidden tears trickled down my cheeks in throes of undistinguished emotions.

Walking down that path became a ritual. A daily fix like an addict, to fingers that coaxed the piano into giving so much and a deep, rich and sexy voice that caused my stomach muscles to tighten. My yearning to see the face behind these beautiful ministrations grew immensely.

I painted a picture of this elusive enigma and my mind willed him to take a look out of his window.

The window directly overlooked the river – with its constant stream of ferries, yachts, gliders and float planes. I was sure that the view would be awesome.

I felt as if the pianist had cast a spell on me; and that I would awaken from my slumber, thoroughly ravished and looking up into the compelling eyes of my lover. I knew that it was just a matter of time.

Our eyes had finally met, held and connected with a sizzle.

That evening, the air smelled like rain, yet I could not resist the siren call of my pianist.

I knew that he would be playing by now, and would be waiting for his one woman and dog audience. Tonight would be different I felt. So, I dressed in my soft cashmere pink sweater, figure enhancing stretch pants, hair packed in a chignon with a few tendrils left out to create a softer look, a dash of shimmery lip gloss and mascara – no saggy old sweatpants and rumpled tee-shirt; no, not tonight.

His apartment block was a flurry of activity. The flashers of an EMS van and a police car lit up the surroundings. Some people were gathered beside the sidewalk observing the goings-on and discussing in hushed tones as a gurney was loaded into the ambulance.

The unidentified victim was covered from head to toe in a white sheet. My ears strained above the din, to hear the sound of music, but the night was still; it was filled with all other sounds except that thrumming that I had grown to love.

I walked across the pavement, studying the faces as I approached, but none possessed the dark piercing eyes which had stared into mine three nights ago.

What happened? I asked one of the ladies out of curiosity. She turned to look at me with a face that looked pinched and eyes filled with despair.

A young man killed himself, she said. I don’t know him very well, but we have shared the lift occasionally and he was always very polite. It’s not so long ago that he moved in here, she continued.

A young man? I repeated. Which apartment? I asked in quiet fear.

502. She replied – pointing up to that window that I had gazed at intensely for the past few weeks.

I stayed up at night to listen to him play. His music touched me, she said. Sometimes, he played till the early hours of the morning. I wonder what was wrong? Why did he not seek help? She asked rhetorically.

He seemed like a beautiful soul. What a waste of human life! She intoned.They said he took poison and called 911.

A buzz was rushing in my head and her voice voiced wobbly in my ears as if it came from afar through a bull horn.

My heart was screaming its pain into my head. This was not how I envisaged it to end. My love affair had been nipped in the bud before its first blossom.

Tonight, I had felt sure that at last, he would invite me into his warm apartment for a cup of hot chocolate. He would play, I would listen and we would get to know each other.

I mumbled incomprehensibly to the lady; looked up at the apartment window for several minutes and with heavy laden feet, I walked into the night.

The wind had picked up, lifting dead, fallen leaves into the air.

Through the whistling of the swaying pines, I  could hear his melody carrying through the night, through my heart and buried in my soul.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha