When It All Goes Downside Up….

December 16, 2015December 16, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha25 Comments

Being a mother is not a duty that comes with a how-to manual; you simply take on the responsibility with Grace and Hope.

Some days are a fly by the seat of your pants days, where so many things get thrown at you at such speed that you either catch, dodge or get hit.

Yesterday was one of those days. I will not inundate you with all the nitty-gritty, but when you have children, you are always simply in the ”Be prepared mode”, more so with two rough and tumble boys.

One left for school hale and hearty and came back wheeled in with a sprained ankle from a rough game of football. He had scored a goal and the others piled on top of him!

Another came down with a bout of fever and coughing up a storm.

My dear daughter on her own part, appeared puffy faced and teary eyed; her brand new tablet had just been smashed by a careless best friend.

All these within hours of each other and on top of other beckoning, ever- present responsibilities.

”What do you do?” ”Pull your hair out and get crazy or keep calm and handle the tasks at hand?”

Scene 1. With lots of cold compress, gentle massage and pain relief, we got the ankle to feel fine and he is walking by himself this morning, so we are smiling.

Scene 2. Brewed lots of warm soup, made mugs of fresh squeezed lemon with a dash of boiled ginger and teaspoons of honey, 10mils of Ibuprofen and palliatives; we are still coughing, but fever is down.

Scene 3. A quick retrieval of warranty for the tablet and mummy has to go and see if something can be done about it.

So there it is. All in a days job.

Today, I am thankful for God’s protection and grace over my family.

I am grateful for serenity in chaotic moments.

There is always something to be thankful for. What is your heart grateful for today?

You can join Colline’s or Maria Jansson gratitude challenge platforms.

Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Love · Quotes For You · Social Issues · Success

A Nanny Goat and Her Young Ones….

November 19, 2015November 19, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

When we analyze the state of things and how it appears that norms and values, respect and everything have been eroded, it also occurs to me that as adults, parents, custodians and educators of the young ones under our care, we are equally failing in passing on these expected values, right norms, respect and all that is deemed to constitute a responsible human onto these young ones.

Behavioural skills, social norms and beliefs are learnt and they do not grow on trees. They are acquired through constant teaching and emulation. A child is only radicalized through the teachings of an adult or someone in a position of respect. A child is equally taught respect from early days!

The younger generation did not wake up spoilt! Not at all!

We the older generation loaded them with ammunition like kegs of gunpowder and it takes just a strike of a match for them to combust.

They watch and learn from us, add their own individuality and whatever the end result turns into is a product of that.

In essence a child is a by-product of his/her upbringing and society.

We should therefore hold ourselves 90% responsible for the spate of violence, moral decadence, loss of respect and every other vice that rears up its ugly head in today’s World.

We should not lose sight of the fact that we wield a lot of authority in helping these young ones form, therefore we should exercise it in the right manner.

A lot of times, when I take a look today at the my own life cycle, it does not fail to occur to me that the tenets which I have held mostly onto are those ones inculcated in me in my formative years and I daresay that those tenets are the ones that kept me from sinking, even when I furiously dug pits that could have caved in on me. “When a child is raised in the way that he should go, when he grows, he will not depart from it.”

Let me share a couple of African proverbs for today, and bid you a good day.

”When the nanny goat eats grass, it’s young ones watch her mouth and imitate.”

”If a child shoots an arrow that reaches the top of a tall palm tree, then it must be that an elderly person carved the bow and arrow for him.”

”The instruction of a child in youth is like engraving on a stone.”

”When a mother hen has been caught and killed, her chicks become easy prey.”

Once again, Chape thank you for inviting me to the quotes challenge. I shall extend the same courtesy to these awesome bloggers:

Danny

Maria Jansson

Jennifer Calvert

Kind regards,

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Inspiration - Motivation · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream

How much?…

November 13, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha32 Comments

Haggling is an art! To live in an African society with it’s rowdy markets, you need to perfect the art of haggling over goods.

Recollections of days spent traipsing after mother or grandma at the market, trudging from pillar to post haggling over goods in order to get the best bargains makes me smile.

It was never a straight journey!

Purchases were made in-between hundreds of greeting exchanges.

These grown women would hug, chatter, ask about the entire family and their well-being, exclaim over the incessant climb in the price of goods, natter about the latest African prints fabric, discuss their next meetings and what have you, while you stood patiently with the basket waiting for that conversation to be over, only for another encounter of another auntie to occur down the line where yam tubers were sold.

The haggling dance between the seller and the buyer was one done in camaraderie.

A piece of yam tuber would be lifted, passed from the buyers one hand to the other to check how weighty, inspected to ensure that it was still fresh and when mother was satisfied with the selected yam piece, the pricing war begins with “how much?”

This could go on from one market stall to the other and the basket on your head got heavier with the items purchased.

On a good day, your assistance would be rewarded with some boiled groundnuts, fried puff-puffs or something little to nibble at.

Please do remember not to grumble when the haggling is going on otherwise, you might be rewarded with a proverb that says “a child carried on the back, does not realize that the journey is very far.”

For today’s quote, I shall leave you with these African proverbs:

“Life is like shopping in the market, when you finish your purchases, you go home.”

”One does not throw stones in the market square, because you don’t know whose head it might break.”

”Marriage is like eating groundnuts in pods! You have to crack it to see what is inside.”

I have totally enjoyed reminiscing over these proverbs for the past couple of days Oba all thanks to you.

I invite these awesome bloggers to feel free and share some quotes:

Gradmama

Haddon Musings

Adamma

Blessed love.

A link to my neighbours/Community · Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Personal story · Quotes For You

Are you overlooking the Small Clay Pot?…

November 12, 2015November 12, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha13 Comments

Learning to cook started at a young age for me; not that I remember being asked 😉 it was just the way things were.

From assisting mother in the kitchen in preparation of all sorts, to going over during the holidays to help grandma prepare her classic agidi jollof/wrapped corn meal and oil bean flakes which we would also help her sell at the local market; commercial trading was also learnt in the bargain.

Naturally, as a young child and a bookworm, often, I would get distracted or sneak into the restroom to read a quick page of my fave of the moment and the quick page turned into several; meanwhile my absorbed mind has forgotten that I was meant to be watching the pot of beans and ensure that it didn’t burn.

Needless to say, it was usually the aroma of burnt offering that alerted my nostrils to the disaster on fire and mothers voice raised to power two exclaiming away “Hia! this child will not kill me!”

The burnt level of the beans knew many degrees and the instruction to wash that burnt pot until it was gleaming enough to show the reflection of your teeth was never a small task. It kept you on the straight and narrow corner of the kitchen for some good days 🙂

Yet mothers patience never gave up on us. She continued teaching and we continued attempting to kill her, but thankfully never succeeded and turned out to be responsible adults today.

Let me leave you with this African proverb:

“When you overlook the small clay pot, it will boil over and put off the firewood.”

This can be translated in so many ways, but a quick example is: when you overlook a small bad habit, it becomes a character trait.

Once again Oba thank you for extending this invite. I am enjoying it.

To participate in the 3 quote challenge, I would like to invite:

Obscurasomnia

Oneta

Tony Burgess

Good day and blessings.

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Love

How Many Hats Do You Wear, Mama Dear?…

November 11, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha51 Comments

Being a Mama confers on so many crowns of responsibilities and these multi-tasking are meant to be executed with your hands tied behind your back, your eyes closed, with loads of grace and as cool as a cucumber. Yeah right!

It is also to be done with a flourish of excellence while trying to get your own life somewhere in the mix of playing so many roles such as:

Chief Executive of the House (after the Chairman if there is one)
Chef to fussy clients.
Housekeeper
Taxi driver without any tips.
Peace broker
All teams cheerleader.
Professional anger management manager
Secret keeper
Hair stylist
Errand girl
Laundry machine operator
Security officer
Toy repairs specialist
Teacher
Financial Manager
Art director and Model too
Poop cleaner and potty trainer
Personal Assistant to all and sundry
Day care provider
Teeth inspector
PTA champion
All and sundry family therapist
In house doctor/nurse and bruise healer
The storyteller extraordinaire with singing talents
Sleep scientist and slayer of scary monsters under the bed
Hugging and kiss champion
Stain removal and mess packer expert
Prayer warrior
Events manager
Health and Safety supervisor

…….and the list goes on endlessly!

Sometimes, I am not quite sure whether the assignments the teacher gives in school is meant for the child or for me and to test my patience.

Now, let me go and put on my draughtsman, architect, site worker hat on! We (I and my young son) have to continue his new class project of building the Dubai’s Burj Al Arab with hardboard, tin foil, colours, glues and all sorts of fun stuff. He is the main director of this act.

Work in Progress, Burj Al Arab construction. Ha! ;-) — Work in Progress, Burj Al Arab construction. Ha! 😉

It took the builders 6 years to do the original building and now we are expected to get our replica done in a few days.

As you can see from the picture by the side, it is work in progress and we are making a mangled mess of it (but having fun though).

Let’s hope it turns out fair at the end of this patience inducing exercise and then I can continue building my blog.

Enjoy the multi-tasking hats that motherhood confers on you.

How many hats do you wear so far?

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt Wednesday, November 11

What was the last thing you fixed or built?

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Life · Love · Personal story

In Many Ways, We Become Our Parents…

November 4, 2015November 4, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha27 Comments

One of the voluntary days spent teaching children etiquette in a school in Lagos — **One of the voluntary days spent teaching children etiquette at a school in Lagos**

Except where parents are as mean as rattle snakes, during their formative years, most children look up to their parents as their heroes or role models without clay feet and worthy of emulating.

They soak in mannerisms, attitudes, lifestyle and a host of character moulding outlooks from those who have been placed in positions of authority as their custodians. This serves as a reminder that it is very needful to exercise diligent caution in writing positively all over the clean slate of life of these young ones whom we are responsible for.

Recently, I find myself gravitating towards a lot of things that my parents used to do and those that they inculcated in me in years that I hardly knew anything.

I catch myself these days, repeating certain statements that my mother makes.

The wise adages and idioms which laced my fathers enunciation’s line my speech and thoughts every other day.

Asides from working for the University until they both retired, they both dabbled into so many other things such as side businesses, farming, arts and craft etc. and I can proudly say that maybe I did inherit some art skills and entrepreneurial abilities from them.

Though it seems I haven’t been a successful green-fingers like my dad. I think my lack of success has been out of sheer laziness. Plants thrived under dad’s fingers, but in my own case, I have been more inclined in putting in the plant into the soil, watering and whispering to it a few times, then with a pat on the head, I stroll along, expecting the sapling to know what to do and to thrive. Of course the poor young sapling either strives to thrive or dies trying

Career wise, I did dabble into working in a school environment for a while but it didn’t hold my interest for too long. I reverted to volunteering my time to school work.

My mother told us a lot of stories when we were growing up and since we have long flown the coop, she currently enjoys the pleasure of volunteering her story moulding services regularly to the children’s church and it is always impressive to see how these children hang on to her and adore her. They call her mummy ever so often that I even feel twinges of jealousy occasionally.

I think I must have acquired storytelling genes from her.

I cannot recollect making conscious decisions to follow in their footsteps, but I catch myself sliding in directions that they have taken and it does make me ponder for a moment….maybe, I am becoming my parents. Who knows, I may still become a plant-whisperer as the days go by. Not a bad feeling at all is it? 🙂

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Wednesday, November 4

When you were a kid, did you want to have the same job or a different job than your parents when you grew up?

Blogging · Family · Hope · Life

Multiple Dreams…

November 3, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha22 Comments

Good evening. From BlogQTV, these are the headlines…yada, yada, blah, blah, blah…

The attraction of young unjaded bright eyes to legendary newscasters beaming their lovely dentition through our black and white television stoked a childish dream and aspiration.

“What did it feel like to speak into that microphone and have others listen to the words that came forth?” I was enthralled. I made my ever loving younger brothers my audience with my fabricated microphone of an empty plastic bottle 🙂

Then again, so did so many other things mesmerize me even things that turned out not to be good for me.

In my head, I often became a renowned newscaster, artist, actor, dancer, singer, sportswoman, astronaut, detective (yes I fancied myself a George in famous five, a Nancy Drew and even Sherlock Holmes at some point in time; I wrote a detective story and called myself Sherlocka Homer 😉

It was a case of whatever caught the fancy of this impressionable young child which I think was an excellent exercise. “I wonder if my younger siblings think so?”

I was always the nurse who gave the injections and they were my patients ;-), or the cop and they remained the bad guys.

Then came crunch time of university and choosing a course. Theatre Arts was vehemently refused by my parents. Back then in Nigeria, artistes were hungry and viewed as a bunch of charlatans.

Communication Arts was also not highly favoured. There was a need to have a prestigious lawyer in the house, so I tried to become one.

To cut a long story short, lawyer I am not. I have evolved into so many things over time and have learnt as I went along, “that though sometimes, life wants to chose what it wants you to become, you have to take pliers and grip that which you truly want.’‘

In response to NaBloPoMo prompt – Tuesday, November 3

What did you think was the coolest job in the world when you were younger? Do you still feel that way now?