Tag Archive | Despair

Haunted!…

His wife’s cool hands on his shoulders halted Sanders from further destruction as he took another swing at the sculpture with his club.

He couldn’t count the number of times the sculpture taunted him, taking on fiendish proportions in a nightmare until he smashed it to pieces and then made a new one from scratch, once again resembling his tomboyish, young sister with her sweet looking face.

No matter what everyone said, no matter that his mother never openly expressed her blame, he held himself responsible.

What if he always wondered?

What if he had accompanied her to the cinema that fateful night many years ago as their mother had suggested?

Would she be alive now? Would that have deterred the monster who kidnapped her, that by the time her body was found, she was desecrated in ways beyond words?

Sanders was perpetually haunted by these thoughts and it was worse that the monster was still out there.

Unknown and roaming free.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

InLinkz

Thank you, Phylor,  for the photo and Priceless Joy for hosting this charming platform where we unleash our stories:-)


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

She is amazing at describing love and life in her poems. She creates such beautiful images with her words. Truly, she is a talented writer and I’m so excited to have her poetry book and to continue reading through it.

Out of the silent breath

Midnight Musings and Motivations # 45…

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A lot of times, we have challenges that we face but lack the zeal to take them on.

Once our spirit to take them on is down, we find that the voice of pessimism and all the possible excuses will offer themselves on shiny platters for us to choose from.

However, the downturn to helping ourselves to the platter of excuses is that it’s often accompanied by a cane for self-flagellation and guilt, which will eventually show itself when the consequences of our actions or inactions dawn on us.

Sometimes, we need not have huge amounts of faith or courage.

Indeed,  a peanut-sized one will suffice, but if we can dig in our heels and get started with it, you find that the zeal and courage required to continue surfaces.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Dreaded Phone Call…Friday fiction in five sentences.

She was on her way back to town when the call came in, her fingers slackened and the phone slipped, falling on the cobblestones with a thud, but she just couldn’t bend to pick it up as she stood rooted to the spot, her legs too heavy laden to move forward.

Staring unseeingly into the distance, tears filled Ellen’s eyes and brimmed over with a silent scream that tore through her head and her heart shattered in tiny bits.

She always knew that this day was coming, yet she wasn’t braced for it.

That single dreaded call, that she had prayed never to receive finally came.

……And the man died! Head bowed in deep grief, her knees buckled as she sank into bone-wracking wailing; like a wild animal, Ellen’s cry was not a pretty sight. She cried with all her being, but everyone who knew her understood why.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Bill…Friday Fiction In Five Sentences.

She counts the coins over and over again.

It would barely be enough to purchase meaningful grocery.

‘Dear Lord, where will the next meal for the babies come from?’ She wonders in despair.

Hearing a shuffle of feet and a rap on the door.

She rises wearily to check who it is, but there is no one at the door, just a little note wedged into the space under the door, with a 50 dollar bill nicely folded inside.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

How Do You Heal A Heartsick Heart?…….HELP me!

sad-black-woman

I know all that I want to say;

There are drafts, lots of them;

The words are not lacking at all;

The ideas are bounteous and overflowing;

Yet I have no words to say anything;

Because I am heartsick!

How do you heal a sick heart?

How do I get my happy again?

I know the words in my treasured Bible;

I know that they comfort me;

I ask for a silver lining in this dark cloud;

But I see nothing; not yet at least;

Is it under my bed?

Maybe I should take a look!

Is it in a bottle?

I have no head for such!

Is it in prayers?

A heavy heart, all I do is sigh!

In the pages of a book?

My drifting mind goes here and there!

Where is it?

But still my heart sickens within me;

I feel empty like a hollow drum;

And I hate to feel this way;

Or to have a pity party;

It is said that time heals;

I think time just covers the sores;

Of oozing wounds;

But the scar tissues are left behind;

To remind us of the battles behind;

I try all the positive pick me ups;

I do hate to be in the doldrums;

I stuff myself with sugary bites;

Hoping to find some delight;

Yet nothing seems to work!

At least I can try to write the pain away!

How do you heal a heartsick heart?

Does anyone know?

Because this struggle is real!

I am human not machine;

I feel things like every other like me;

Despite the upbeat state of mind;

That I choose to maintain;

Sometimes, the pain is so real

It consumes your entire being;

You cannot seem to think of anything else;

The laughter is forced;

The companionship is wanted and not wanted;

The placation placates and annoys;

Your feelings are all twisted and upside down;

Sometimes, I wish that it is easy to stop feeling;

To become an Island and create a buffer around your heart;

That way you loose no one and you feel nothing;

But that would be a sad waste wouldn’t it?

The struggle is real!

Some may think it is a show of weakness;

To wail and to seek for help;

But I know that I don’t have all the answers;

Neither do I care for toughies who know it all!

Tell me; how do you heal a heartsick heart?

P.S. When the grim reaper deals a blow; Someone must be left grappling with the wicked show!

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Tormented Heart….

Grieving

In the doldrums lies my Soul;
Cast in the deep shadows of melancholic sadness;
Adrift with the lack of sense of it all;

I remember your fair sparkle;
Your gentle modulated tones of speech;
Your laughter that tinkles like little bells;
and your eyes that dance in merriment.

No preceding warning;
Not anything at all!
You were here;
Now you are gone;

Like a wisp of wind, floating…floating away;
You have sailed away;
Never to be seen again.

Your dancing eyes sleep, dimmed in forever;
Your gentle ways a resounding loss;
Your sense of humanity gone…so gone…

Oh! My Soul grieves at the pain of it all;
For the young ones that you have left behind;
Their shocked bewilderment and despair;
Staggering at the blow that fate just dealt;

My eyes are dry and tear ducts sealed;
I am in open-mouthed disbelief;
Yet, I remind myself of the transience of life;
That it shouldn’t come as a surprise;
That Souls journey often to another realm;

Yet, it does surprise and it hurts;
I am as sore as an angry bear!
Shall I say goodbye?
I have no idea how…….

Best friendJacqueline Oby-Ikocha