Category: Writing

Wellness · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The simple things…

jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments
Photo by Thought Catalog on Pexels.com

Joy. A simple word, yet it carries a whole lot of weight in it for far too many people are constantly in search of joy and many fail to find it as often as they should. I think the fault lies in having great expectations and waiting for things that are exceptionally good before they can have some iota of pleasure.

Connecting with my spiritual side and aiming to grow more spiritually aware, diligently practicing gratitude, choosing to have an optimistic and positive mindset, staying as fully present and living in the moment are conscious steps that I take daily and these have helped me to continually create more positive emotions for myself.

For me, the simple every day things of life bring joy to me and helps enhance my sense of wellbeing. When the work day is over, the thought of going home to my place of comfort consistently brings me pleasure. It’s not that I don’t like going to work, but knowing that I get to return home to my place of refuge where I can choose to lounge in my pajama’s, relax, exhale, be with my family etc. makes those hours spent pursuing the daily bread worth the effort.

My children are a constant source of joy for me. Listening to them share their dreams and work towards them, watching them grow into independent young adults and experiencing their wins in life brings me an immense source of wellbeing and accomplishment.

At the start of each day, I make my to-do list and set little goals that ultimately contribute to achieving my bigger goals definitely makes one feel good. There are many days that I am unable to do all the things that I set out to do, but I have also learnt not to guilt trip myself, to be thankful for the things that I was able to do and not to dwell inordinately on the things that I failed to do.

As adults, we get bogged down with so much in form of rules, responsibilities and life that we often forget how to feel that unadulterated sense of bliss. I truly believe that living mindfully helps us to create, recreate and really experience that sense of happiness and bliss that we deserve.

I wish you joy.

Check me out on Tiktok

@beyondexisting.j

How to manage stressful mornings #fyp #deepthoughts #advice #decisionmaking #selfcontrol #emotionalintelligence #stress #Howto Our daily lives can start off on a stressful not and may even take unexpected turns that will make or mar an ordinarily simple day. In such situations, what matters most is not about what is happening to us, but how we respond to our experiences. How we exert self control knowing that wrong decisions taken under duress can be defining.

♬ Дикая львица – ALEX&RUS

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Blogging · Family · Personal · WordPress · Writing

Their absence leaves us bereft…

jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

As treasure connotes something truly special, my lost treasures are intangible and irreplaceable. Three people come so easily to mind: my dad, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law.

Death can be so final even when it comes slowly like the way my dad and my mother-in-law lost their battle with Cancer after a valiant battle. It was a heart wrenching and intensely difficult time for our family and what amazes me till today is how graceful these two humans were in the face of such debilitating illness. I loved and still love my dad to bits and his passing hit me really hard. Just writing this makes my heart flood with sadness. I have grown to bear the pain of his loss and to ruminate in the beautiful memories that he left behind and appreciate him over and over again. I think one of my regrets is not telling him often how much I loved him and that my kids did not have enough opportunity to really get to know him. He was a gentleman and a good man. I believe that I was in a state of denial and had kept hoping that God’s mercy would prevail and that he would win the battle with cancer. Till his last moments I stayed hopeful, but death robbed me.

My mother-in-law and I grew close especially considering how much my husband adored her. She was not just the matriarch of the family, but became my ally as well. Her name was Grace and indeed she was such a graceful and beautiful soul. Although her passing wasn’t sudden as she fought breast cancer for several years but her last day with us is forever etched on my mind as I was there in her last moments when she transitioned.

You truly never understand the enormity of what you have until you have lost it, more especially when the loss is sudden. My brother-in-law’s passing was like a bolt of lightening. It was a rude shock. He drowned. Till this moment, the circumstances surrounding his demise in Toronto is still unclear to us. He was quite a gregarious young man and his absence is felt.

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would love to have my family members back and relive all the beautiful moments with them. These people were gems and to know them was simply to love them.

You can also find me on Tiktok

@beyondexisting.j

To neeewd or not to neeewd? #fyp #goviral #revenge #wicked #badhabits #vices #nigeriantiktok #women #ghanatiktok #liberiantiktok #cameroontiktok🇨🇲

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Blogging · WordPress · Writing

I am brave or am I?

jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments
Photo by Kony Xyzx on Pexels.com

When we think of the word ‘brave’ our minds automatically switch to the endurance of pain, performing daunting tasks and facing danger without fear. Our minds go to the images of brave soldiers at the war front, selfless, daring, heroic and protecting us from intrusion at the risk of their own lives. I am not that soldier, yet, I daresay that I am brave. Yes! I am.

Not to thump my fists on my chest, belting out a war cry, I can puff up with a little sense of pride that I do stand up to daunting and unpleasant situations – often with trembling knees and trepidation. Most times, in all the places that I have worked over the years, I have been that voice that speaks out for those who don’t know how to or feel too intimidated to speak up.

On a regular basis, I am not afraid to question the status quo when my perception of rightness prompts me to do so even if it means that my voice is the only dissenting voice in a crowd of many. What that has achieved over time is not only to draw the attention of those in positions of authority to review any ‘questionable circumstance’ but has served as a catalyst for positive change and gradual inculcation of healthier work cultures.

As much as I like being comfortable, I have also grown to understand that the space of comfort stifles personal growth and as such, I endeavour to try new things – albeit sensibly – and to push my boundaries in many ways. Taking such steps brings a new sense of power and exhilaration and also takes some level of bravery as most of us are creatures of habit who find changes unsettling. Those things that we fear can keep us bound in invisible chains and as is commonly said, ‘you don’t have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.’

Personally, putting myself out there on social media through videos, baring my thoughts in writing for others to read sometimes feels as if I am exposing the inner parts of my soul to friends and strangers alike, because we live in a world where people are far more at ease to criticize and judge than to empathize and to keep an open mind. ‘

However, the sense of freedom that comes from doing so daily propels me to keep showing up, to keep being brave in my little world and I am not about to stop anytime soon.

Connect with me on Tiktok

@beyondexisting.j

Snippets of my 364 days of 2022…#fypシ゚viral #photos #memories #daysofourlives #2022

♬ Kings & Queens – Ava Max

Blogging · Networking · WordPress · Writing

This year I want to achieve…

jacquelineobyikocha18 Comments
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Happy New Year to you and your dear ones! So, I joined bloganuary and the first prompt is what-is-something-you-want-to-achieve-this-year, which I think is appropriate given the fact that most of us tend to think of new goals to accomplish and new resolutions for the year.

The general idea for me is to use this opportunity to connect with a wider blogging community and friends as well as kindle my writing zeal which went into some sort of hibernation most part of 2022. My expectations this year is to continue to grow stronger spiritually, practice mindfulness and staying in the present, staying happy and centered, actively tapping into the law of attraction and living it, achieving my writing goals, sustaining the healthier lifestyle that I have been aiming for, increasing my social media presence, growing multiple streams of income, venturing into new things and becoming more financially independent. Each of this aspect is broken down to short term, medium term and long-term goals and I sincerely hope to stay focused and diligent.

The truth is that we can wish all we want for our dreams to become actualized but without matching our wishes with actions and of course faith, it simply remains wishful thinking and thus unattainable.

I will surely share my journey here as a way of holding myself accountable and hopefully inspiring others. I believe that you and I will be seeing more of each other in this space in the coming days and I do wish you the best of 2023.

Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Lots of love from Jacqueline

You can find me on Tiktok below.

@beyondexisting.j

Declarative prayer #fyp #foryoupage #christiantiktok #Prayer #jesus #Godsplan #nigeriantiktok #faith Declarative prayer speaks out loud the truth found in God’s word and in God’s being. We boldly pray and then walk in faith.

♬ Omemma – Judikay
Blogging · life skills · Self Help · Writing

Awakening My Creative Consciousness…

jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments
love-pen-bed-drinking-writing-reading

Finally. I believe that I have succeeded in crawling out of the doldrums. There are days that run into weeks and then months when creativity flows freely through your fingers and mind and feels like the easiest thing ever, then there are those days… that seep into weeks… and then months… when you are lost and in a total stump.

When this happens, we deeply feel that something is amiss. Things generally seem harder and somehow the rudder of our direction stagnates or at worse will be over the place. How do we re-center ourselves? How do we reignite our passion to continue doing those things that we most enjoy? How do we declutter, distill the disturbance, and climb out of the miry bog?

Most certainly, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to such a dilemma. However, we can prime the pump and flow of inspiration in our lives by taking some simple steps and these steps are what I am trying to retrace. Not so much to find out where I fell off the track but to attempt to get back on track and fall in love again with those things that bring me joy.

I can’t even explain to you how the past few days of getting back to blogging, making my short videos on Tiktok, YouTube and Instagram makes me feel. I feel better. I feel less pained and guilty. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and I intend to keep it that way; so help me God.

Here are a few practical steps to apply should you ever find yourself in such a rut.

  • Be grateful for where you are at the moment and thankful for the potentials that the future holds.
  • Seek and find joy in the little things happening around you. Find laughter. It matters a lot.
  • Declutter your mind. Ask yourself what you are really feeling and try to understand why.
  • Define and refine what creativity and inspiration means to you.
  • Remind yourself of those things that you really love.
  • Revamp your thought process and approach where possible.
  • Don’t make big plans, take baby steps one day at a time.
  • Take time to reflect and let your imagination flow. It may be jumbled and rusty but just go with the flow.
  • Be humble and keep learning.
  • Make your creative moments fun.

What self-help tips and suggestions do you use and recommend to others to try?

Creative Writing · Poetry/Poems · Writing

….the Prince is Dead!

jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

her fairytales of life
no more Princes are there to be had,
and the knights in shining armour
perished with Arthur.

rather,

there’s just her,
an ordinary woman
riding her own steed
and slaying her own dragons.

long live the dragon slayer!

Writing

Raise your writing bar – Master how to eliminate that passive voice.

jacquelineobyikocha8 Comments

Passive Voice, Active Voice, Eliminate Passive Voice, Readers Attention, Raise Writing Bar, Professional Writing

An important factor that holds your readers’ attention from the get-go is the voice your article/book/post is written in. Readers prefer active voice sentences and writing in the active voice communicates our message effectively. The active voice makes your writing stronger, less wordy and tiresome. It clearly identifies an action and who is performing that action.

On the other hand, writing in the passive voice which is a common mistake that could easily slip into your writing fails to hold your readers’ interest and simply makes your writing boring and hard to read.

Mastering the skill of writing in the active voice is easier than you anticipated and less tedious than finding those little grammatical errors and typos. One way to know if you are writing in the active or passive voice is to find the subject of the sentence and decide if the subject is doing the action or being acted upon.

How to Recognize and Eliminate Passive Voice

In the active voice, your subject is doing the action.

  1. Jake ran past the man.
  2. Susan cooked the food.

In the passive voice, the subject is acted upon.

  1. The man was run past by Jake.
  2. The food was cooked by Susan.

Reading these two sentences you know that it doesn’t sound natural or seem right.

Another easy giveaway of the passive voice is to look for verbs stuck together. A passive voice adds other helping verbs such as ‘to be, being, has been, will be, are, is, was, were’ to a verb that could stand alone.

You can instantly fix your passive voice by rewriting your sentence so that the subject of your sentence comes before the verb.

Your active voice resembles spoken language. When we speak, we automatically speak in the active voice and our writing should mirror this.

For instance, you would never say:

My bicycle (subject) was ridden (action) to the park by me.

Instead, you would say:

I (subject) rode (action) my bicycle (object) to the park.

As always there’s an exception to the rule where the passive voice is preferable: Read more…

Success · Writing

3 Things You Should Say No To While Writing

jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

Struggling with your challenging essays and dream to become a successful student? Academic writing is not easy but the truth is that your success in college mostly depends on how well you can write academically. Unfortunately, we are not born good writers. If you want to improve your writing skills, you must work hard and be ready to make sacrifices. There are things you need to give up to succeed in your class.

Student, Studying, Writing

image credit

Learn to Prioritize

College is really fantastic and the most memorable time for everyone but it’s a great challenge as well. How can find enough time for studies and having fun with your friends? It’s really hard to get down to work and write your essay when there are always a lot of people around you and every day could be an exciting party if only you wanted to. Socializing is great but you should remember that you are in college to study and gain new experiences necessary for your future career. You should learn to say no to going parties and hanging out with your friends when you have homework to do.

Devote Your Time to Writing

No one can expect you to become a confident writer in a few days. You should plan your time ahead and work every day. If you work consistently, your skills will improve and you will write better. Besides, academic essays are complicated projects and require a lot of planning, doing research, outlining, writing, revising, editing, and proofreading. So, you should say no to laziness and procrastination when you have several papers to complete.

Many students cannot resist the temptation to procrastinate and waste a lot of time instead of working hard on their assignments. Sometimes, they remember about their essays on the nights they are due. Luckily, they can always get fast and cheap help online.

You just have to find the best cheap essay writing service and ask: “Write my assignment for me!” If you are lucky to find a reliable custom writing service, you will be able to sign with relief even if you have to submit your paper tomorrow morning. Experienced writers work fast. So if you decide to buy cheap papers as a way out of a messy situation, make sure you deal with an essay writing company with a good reputation that has experienced writers on the staff.

Give Up Unhealthy Choices

We all know that junk food can be tasty. It can be enjoyable to play video games the whole night instead of going to bed early. It’s hard to exercise regularly instead of watching an exciting TV series. But when you live an unhealthy lifestyle, you may end up being burned out and it’s impossible to study hard if you don’t feel well.

So if you want to achieve more in your studies, you should consistently make healthy choices. Join the gym, eat right, go for walks, and get enough sleep every night. Adopting a healthy lifestyle will help you stay more productive and achieve success.

This is a collaborative post.
Fiction · Short Stories · Writing

Brooke…Flash Fiction

jacquelineobyikocha14 Comments

As I stood in the shallow pool of water, freeze-framed images of us dancing, laughing and splashing water like children played consistently in my minds eye.

Brookes’ happy laughter echoed with delight in my ears. This little gem of a place brought out that childish joy in her that made my heart bloom when I watched her face radiate and her cheeks pinken with pleasure.

I felt her presence, as real and as solid as if she stood beside me. Out of habit, I stretched out a hand to grasp hers, but the emptiness and lack of her warm palm hit me hard.

Has it only been six weeks? Six weeks sounds so short, yet it felt like an eternity. An eternity of hellish existence. Those dreaded words still rang in my heart and I still felt as shell-shocked as I had felt in the Oncologists office. Words like, ‘biopsy, chemotherapy, aggressive, incurable Cancer, metastasized’ and the worst of all ‘few weeks left’…changed our lives so drastically.

I stood there and in that shallow pool of water ‘the secret brook that Brooke loved’ for the first time, I allowed the hot tears to flow freely. I had had to stay strong and had not allowed her to see me cry.

©

Jacqueline

Written in response to the FFAW photo prompt above. Thank you, Enisa, for the photo and PJ for hosting. 

P.S. Priceless Joy, sorry for the late submission. I had auto-set it to publish yesterday but for some tech reasons, it didn’t go live.